Highland Honor

by Dana D'Angelo

  “I want tae explain what happened,” Griogair said after her clansman left.

  She stared down at her hands. The sight of his handsome face made her heart ache. How was it possible that after all that he did, he still affected her like this? And what possessed her to stay behind and listen to him speak in the first place? If she was at all honest with herself, being in his presence tortured her.

  “I need tae go,” she said.

  He reached over and caught her reins. “Will ye nae hear me out?”

  “If ‘tis an excuse, then I have nay desire tae hear it,” she said, snatching the leather straps back from him. She could feel her anger gathering beneath the surface. Reaching for it, she willed it to build and give her strength. But she knew that the courage would only be fleeting. If she stayed any longer, she would weep. It behooved her to break down in front of him, and have him witness her frailty. She took in a deep, unsteady breath, a breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

  “I should have told ye the truth.” He balled his fist until his knuckles turned white. “I didnae ken that my foster brother targeted your kin.”

  “Ye should have told me that ye were connected tae the raids,” she said, wiping away an angry tear that somehow escaped from the corner of her eye. “Yet ye led me tae believe that ye were a horse-trader, that ye cared for me and the struggles of my people. All along ye were here tae spy on us and cause destruction.” She sucked in a breath. “I thought ye were a trustworthy man, but I was wrong.”

  “Sileas, look at me.”

  There was regret and sorrow in his voice, and even though she didn’t want to, the entreaty made her glance up at him. The moment she met his eyes, she regretted it. Sincerity and truth reflected in his depths. But she dismissed it. He was a liar, she reminded herself.

  “I’m the same man who loved ye last night.” He took a deep breath, and continued. “I care for ye, Sileas —”

  “Ye deceived me, Griogair,” she said, her voice turning high and thready. She pressed her lips together to stop them from quivering. “Ye presented yourself as a kind, caring man. But ‘twas a false front. How can I ever trust another word ye say?”

  “Nae everything was false.”

  She averted her face, unable to look at him. Even in his betrayal, she still had feelings for him. Not too long ago she thought that he shared the same sentiments. Now she knew that it was only wishful thinking.

  “I never want tae see ye again, Griogair,” she said, snapping at her reins and spurring her horse forward. But the further she moved from her lover, the heavier her heart felt. She recognized that if she lingered any longer, her weakness would be bared to him. And worse of all, she might fall prey to more of his lies. She was too smart to let this happen again. Letting out a sharp yell, she set her sight straight ahead, prompting the nag to go even faster. If she wanted to continue surviving in this bleak land, then she needed to harden her heart and forget that Griogair MacGregon ever existed.

  Chapter 21

  “Where’s Griogair?” Androu asked slightly out of breath. Red blotches formed on his cheeks as he raced down from the tower to intercept Sileas in the courtyard.

  “Ye shouldnae be running,” she said, her voice stern. Slipping off her horse, she began to lead the animal to the stable.

  “I’m nay longer sick.” He made a face and tucked a strand of hair behind his ear. “Well? Ye didnae answer my question. I was looking for him among the men, but I didnae see him.”

  “Griogair’s gone,” she said with finality in her tone. She still couldn’t believe how daft and naive she was. Until recently she had never known herself to be foolish, yet she had eagerly given her heart to him. And he had taken it, and callously trampled upon it like it meant nothing. But even when she acknowledged this cold, hard fact, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. Every time she remembered him, a whirlwind of mixed emotions descended upon her. And then her mind transported her back to the night she spent in his strong, protective arms.

  “When will he return?” Androu asked, his insistence interjecting into her contemplation. “He said that he’ll teach me how tae ride the wild nag.”

  “He’ll never show his face here ever again.” She passed through the stable entrance. “’Tis best that I — that we all forget about him. Now run along, and see tae Da.”

  Sileas took in a staggering breath when her brother left her. Taking off the saddle bags, she dropped them to the ground just as her emotions started to overwhelm her. She reached up and covered her face with her palms. She had trusted him and welcomed him into her home. While she wasn’t aware of his true intentions, she still felt ashamed for placing her clan in jeopardy. What would have happened if Griogair brought the attackers inside her home?

  Finding a pebble on the ground, she picked it up and flung it with as much force as she could muster. She watched as the pebble bounced off the wall, yet her show of temper did little to slow her rage. It was true that she was furious with Griogair, although she was even angrier at herself for believing in his deceptions. But he had seemed so genuine. He was thoughtful and kind to bairns and beasties alike. When he kissed or made love to her, he was tender, passionate and considerate. For the first time she opened her heart to the future and all its possibilities. The love she felt for him was powerful and was unlike anything she had ever experienced. It was also the first time she felt that she could marry and build a future with a man. She actually had visions of wee bairns racing underfoot. When she was with him, it seemed that happiness was within her reach.

  But it was all a fantasy.

  The tears that she held in check broke through and blurred her vision. She lifted the back of her hand and wiped hard across her eyes. She was made of sterner stuff, she reminded herself. For nineteen years, she had lived without a man at her side. She would continue to live many more years on her own. That was what a woman in the Borderlands did. They persevered. While those ideas should have made her feel better, they didn’t.

  “Someone seems tae be having a miserable day,” her aunt’s voice said from the stable entrance.

  Sileas wiped the tears on her cheeks and pivoted to face Jannet. “What are ye doing here?”

  “Androu told me that ye returned without Griogair. What happened? Will he be coming back?”

  “Nay,” she said. “He willnae be back. Nor is he welcomed here. He betrayed us, Jannet. And everything he told us was fabricated.”

  “I dinnae understand.”

  “I discovered that he was a part of the raiders.” She clenched her jaw. “He came tae Sundholm Tower in the guise of a horse-trader, but his true objective was tae wreak havoc on our people.”

  “I find that hard tae believe,” her aunt said, frowning. The tower cat entered the building, and upon seeing Jannet, walked over and rubbed against her leg, meowing and vying for her attention.

  “Believe it.” Sileas turned and started to unbuckle the saddle. “I think ‘tis best that he’s gone from our lives.”

  “If he wanted tae harm us, he wouldnae have assisted us with rebuilding our homes,” Jannet pointed out. “I had hoped that he would return tae help us finish with the repairs.”

  “We need only tae ask the clansmen for help mending the roofs. We dinnae need the Highlander’s aid.”

  “True enough, although his aid here was greatly appreciated.” Jannet stepped closer to her and assisted her with the saddle. “And he did save my life.”

  Sileas opened her mouth to argue, but she shut it again. “Ye are right. He did do that,” she said. Remembering his heroic act wasn’t helping. Shaking her head, she tried to get rid of all the tender feelings she had toward him. “’Twas unfortunate that he had an ulterior motive for acting kindly. What he presented on the outside wasnae his true self.”

  Jannet twisted her lips as if she disagreed with her. But instead, she kept quiet and bent to pick up the saddle bag. “What’s this missive doing here?” she asked, pulling out a parchment from the sack.

/>   “A missive?” she repeated, and eyed the letter. “I dinnae ken of any message...”

  Plucking it from her aunt’s hand, she studied the sheepskin. It was folded in half but it didn’t contain any other identifying marker. She was certain that she didn’t place the note there, although she could easily guess who did.

  Just as she thought of Griogair, his braw face floated to her mind’s eye. “I care for ye, Sileas,” he had said in his warm brogue. Those tender words had echoed in her mind throughout her entire journey home. Even in her outrage, she acknowledged that his sentiment seemed so heartfelt that she could almost believe that he told the truth. Her fingers tightened around the parchment, and she felt an overwhelming urge to rip it into pieces. What was wrong with her? Before he came into her life, she thought that she was content. But then she met him, and everything changed. For the first time she had experienced a love and happiness that she never knew possible. But his duplicity destroyed all that she felt for him. In all actuality, she was delusional to think that love and happiness could ever coexist. Except she knew that she experienced every one of those emotions when she was with him, her inner voice reminded her. And although she didn’t want to admit it, she knew that he would remain in her heart forever.

  “Well, lass?” Jannet said, her voice snapping Sileas back to the present. “Are ye going tae stare at the parchment all day, or are ye going tae read it?”

  Sileas walked to the entrance of the stable so she could get sufficient lighting to read the letter. Unfolding the missive, she stared at the bold handwriting.

  Sileas,

  If ye are reading this, I trust that ye were able tae safely get tae your kinsmen, and stop them from falling into the trap. I’m sorry that I couldnae explain my intentions at the time. I offer my apologies as well for deceiving ye. I was never a horse-trader, and before I met ye, I was tasked with finding and returning my foster brother tae his father. I never wanted tae see ye or your people injured.

  I will understand if ye willnae accept my apology. But ken that I care for ye, and all my actions were done in good faith. I wish ye well.

  Yours,

  Griogair

  Sileas clenched a fist and brought it to her mouth while a stray tear rolled down her cheek. Her heart suddenly felt hollow. She believed he had callously deceived her, yet this letter said otherwise. Pivoting, she walked to her horse and began to prepare the saddle. When it was secure, she mounted the nag and made for the door.

  “Where are ye going, Sileas?” Jannet yelled.

  “Tae find Griogair.”

  Chapter 22

  Sileas allowed her horse to tear across the field, her heart racing as fast as the thundering hooves. Griogair would now be leaving Ellison territory, but there was still a chance that she might catch up to him.

  Racing past the place where she last saw Griogair, she rode hard for a while longer. She prayed that her hunch was right, and that she was going in the right direction. Relief surged to her heart when she saw his familiar figure in the horizon.

  “Griogair!” she shouted as she drove her horse even faster.

  At hearing his name, he halted his stallion and looked back. When he recognized her, he wheeled his mount around and waited for her to catch up — at least this was what she determined through the blur of tears. She moved to wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand. Since she could barely see anything, it was a mystery how she managed to ride without falling off the saddle.

  When she reached him, she pulled at the reins and quickly scrambled off her pony.

  Following her example, he slid off his horse. His feet had barely touched the ground when she was upon him. When she first read his letter, his revelations fractured the dam of emotions that she held in check. Now that he stood before her, that protective wall collapsed, and all that she suppressed burst through. Her relief at finding Griogair vanished, and was replaced by a storm of pain and rage. As if her fists had minds of their own, they started flying, banging uselessly against his hard chest.

  As she continued to pound at him, he grabbed her wrists.

  “How could ye?” she yelled at the top of her lungs. He held her wrists securely, but if he released them, she would have flown at him again. And even though she appeared like a madwoman, with her face red and pinched, she didn’t care how she looked. “How could ye make me believe that ye were a heartless liar?” she said again, her voice cracking like splintered wood.

  “’Tis all right.” He released her hands and wrapped his strong arms around her, holding her tight. His words were like a warm breeze that soothed her wounded spirit. He held her in his embrace for long minutes, rocking her back and forth, his hands sliding up and down her back. She didn’t know how long they stood this way, but her tears soon became spent. At least now she was aware of the truth.

  Taking a shuddering breath, she tilted her face up. “I was perfectly fine before ye came into my life,” she sniffed. “Except now I dinnae ken if I can live without ye.”

  There she said it. As she voiced her confession, it felt as if a huge weight had lifted from her shoulders. She had never known love until she met Griogair, and she wasn’t certain that she could ever love another man in this capacity.

  “Did I hear ye correctly?” The corners of his eyes crinkled with amusement. He released his hold slightly and stretched his thumb across her cheek to wipe away the tears. “Did ye just say that ye cannae live without me?”

  Sileas let out a hiccup and nodded. Focusing her gaze on his chin, she felt sudden embarrassment over her outburst. She usually had control over her emotions, but somehow he managed to churn up these painful feelings. “I dinnae ken how ye did it. I was content without having a man in my life. But ye were sae pleasant, considerate and generous, and I believed that ye could do nay wrong —”

  “Sileas.” He gripped her shoulders, gently shaking her.

  When she stopped her tirade, he cupped her chin with his hand, grasping it firmly until their gazes locked. She expected him to reprimand her for her foolishness, but she didn’t hear any recriminations. And instead of seeing rejection on his face, she found that his countenance had softened, and a warm smile touched his lips.

  “I love ye,” he said, his long fingers stroking gently along her jaw.

  His declaration silenced her. In an instant all residual feelings of pain and fury vanished.

  “Say it again,” she whispered.

  “I love ye, Sileas. I loved ye from the moment ye had me trussed up by the burn.”

  She let out a small laugh. “I love ye too,” she said. “I’m sorry that I behaved badly toward ye. I’m sorry as well for doubting your character and intentions.”

  “I’ll accept your apology, although I need tae make an admission of my own,” he said. “I never meant tae cause ye pain, and I regret that I did. When I first heard that ye experienced trouble, I suspected that ‘twas Niall who was behind it.” A pained expression crossed over his features. “At nay time did I approve of the destruction he caused. My plan was tae get him away from your clansmen. My foster brother, you see, is hotheaded, and I feared that he would get killed.”

  “Ye acted this way sae ye could protect your foster brother. I understand.”

  “Aye.” He took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her wrist. “I wanted tae protect ye as well.”

  “But Niall was wrong about us,” she said.

  “He was wrong,” he agreed. “However Murdo Gedyne will pay for slaying Robart MacRell.”

  “I dinnae care what happens tae Murdo. ‘Tis a boon tae our community that he’s gone from here.”

  “He was a scoundrel who created far too much trouble.”

  “What ye say is true.” She took a deep breath, and changed the topic. “Can we be friends now?”

  “Nay,” he said.

  “Nay?” she asked, startled.

  “I dinnae want that,” he shook his head and chuckled. “I want tae be more than friends.” But then his amusement diminished as
his gaze dropped to her mouth. He took her hand and tenderly squeezed it; his big brutish hand engulfing her small graceful one. “I want ye tae be my wife,” he paused. “Will ye agree tae it, Sileas?”

  Her shock disappeared when his question finally sunk in. Her joy then broke through like a ray of sunshine bursting past the clouds. “Aye!” she said, throwing her arms around his neck. “I’ll be your wife.”

  “Guid,” he said, his grin wide. “We’ll go back tae Sundholm Tower now and marry.” His arms wrapped around her, pulling her tightly against his body. He stared down at her as love reflected in his eyes. “Now that I found ye, I willnae ever let ye go.”

  Thank You Gift

  I hope you enjoyed the Highland Honor. As a thank you bonus, I’d like to give you a free e-copy of my novella Heart of a Knight.

  The two characters featured in this story are very close to my own heart. Others have generously rated this story, and I hope you enjoy it too.

  Simply visit my website at the link below, and you can be reading this book in the next few minutes.

  Many thanks,

  Dana D’Angelo

  Dedication

  For Stephanie O. Your inspirations helped shape this book. Thank you.

  Acknowledgment

  Love and gratitude to my husband for everything you are and do. Thanks to Georgi S. for your help in spotting those pesky typos. And thanks to my friends and fans who support my work. You all are the reason why I write.

  About The Author

  Dana D’Angelo is the only girl from a family of nine children. As a teenager, there was a constant battle for the T.V. remote, which she lost, so she was forced to find her amusement in books. A friend got her into romances, and soon she read as many as ten romance novels per week, spending hours with her nose pressed between the pages, skipping meals and cutting out sleep. Life, it seemed, wasn’t as exciting or interesting as in the Medieval or Regency eras.