She's So Dead To Us

by Kieran Scott

  “Thanks a lot!” Annie said to me, her head lolling around as Logan manhandled her.

  “What just happened?” I asked David with a laugh.

  “Logan’s been asking Annie to every dance for the past two years, and she always says no, but last week they made a deal that if we rocked our first gig, she’d go with him,” David explained. “You just sealed it.”

  “Oh. Oops.” I bit my lip and smiled an apology as Logan twirled Annie past us toward the far wall. The other party-goers scrambled out of their way to keep from getting their toes crushed. “Sorry, Annie!”

  “You’re going to make this up to me!” she shouted back. “Tomorrow you’re on glitter duty!”

  “Glitter duty?” I asked David.

  “She loves to have glittery signs for the Harvest Fest but hates dealing with glitter,” he replied. He looped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. “Aren’t you so glad we crashed your table on the first day of school?”

  I rolled my eyes as he headed off to the bookshelf that was serving as a makeshift bar. Someone turned up the music, and a few of the freshmen girls started to dance with the other members of David’s band. As the party swelled around me, my heart fluttered with excitement. The truth was, I couldn’t have been happier that Annie and David had crashed my table that first day. And I was psyched that Annie had invited me over to hang out with her and David tomorrow. For the first time, I was starting to believe that I could make new friends in Orchard Hill. That I could have a life here.

  A life that was Crestie free.

  october

  You guys! I think Jake Graydon is going to ask me to the Harvest Ball!

  Why would you think that?

  Well, you know, after Friday night . . . plus he totally

  just smiled at me in the hall.

  Well, I heard he already asked Lacey Goodman.

  What? Lacey? Why?

  She’s Lacey Goodman. Do you really have to ask?

  Ew. Really?

  No. Lacey’s going with Chris Harrington. I heard Jake was gonna ask Cori Ranger.

  But Cori doesn’t even hook up!

  She didn’t used to. Before she met Jake at

  Josh Schwartz’s Saturday.

  I think I’m gonna throw up.

  Don’t worry. You still have a chance.

  You think?

  It’s Jake Graydon. Pretty soon he’s going to have

  worked his way through the entire school and

  he’ll have to make a second round.

  jake

  The door to my room opened and I dropped my Xbox controller and lifted my Physics text onto my lap. Then I saw it was Shannen and let the book slide to the floor.

  “Nice try, Graydon, but even your mom would’ve caught that one,” she said.

  “Everything okay?” I asked. Usually when Shannen came barreling into my room unannounced, it was because her dad was on a bender and she needed to escape. “Your dad?”

  “Oh, he did the ‘come home and pass out’ thing tonight. I’m just bored.” She shoved her hands under my arms from behind to lift me up. “Come on. Hammond and the Idiot Twins are downstairs harassing your brother, and Chloe’s in the car.”

  I shut off the TV. “The car?”

  She shot me a wicked look over her shoulder. None of us had our licenses, but that never stopped Shannen when she had a plan. And when Shannen had a plan, it usually meant a good time.

  I followed her down the stairs at a jog and into the kitchen, where Jonah sat at the counter trying to do his algebra homework. The Idiot Twins were sandwiching him between them, shouting numbers in his ears so he couldn’t concentrate, while Hammond stood across the room, throwing popcorn from our popcorn machine at all three of them. The popcorn machine was right next to our sundae bar. Mom had it all installed over the summer in an attempt to turn our house into party central. She loved it when my friends were around.

  “Quit it,” Jonah complained, trying not to whine. He elbowed the twins on either side, but they clung to him as Hammond laughed.

  “Dude. Not cool.” I grabbed the back of his polo shirt to drag him out of there. With my free hand I slapped Trevor on the back. “Let’s go.”

  Hammond launched one more shot at Jonah, and Todd gave my brother a world-class noogie as we walked out. Still, Jonah somehow managed to snatch the popcorn out of the air and eat it.

  “Nice,” I said to him.

  He grinned in reply. “Quit letting those assholes into our house.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  The side door opened before we could escape, and my mom walked in wearing her tennis whites. She’d been over at Chloe’s house playing against Mrs. Appleby. There was sweat on her chest below her diamond pendant, but her strawberry blond hair looked perfectly poofy as always.

  “Hello, Shannen . . . boys,” she sang, swinging her racket. “Jake.” Her eyes flicked toward the door. “Where are you going?”

  “Out,” I replied.

  “Have you done your homework?” she asked.

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “Jake.” She already seemed exasperated. “We made a deal at the beginning of the year, remember? If you want to go to Fordham like your father, you have to get your grades up.”

  “Mom,” I said through my teeth, “I swear.”

  “We’re just going out for ice cream, Mrs. Graydon,” Shannen piped up. “Everyone’s gonna be there.”

  I held back a smile. My mother was all about grades, but she was even more about looking like the cool mom in front of my friends, and Shannen knew it. It was totally lame, but I had used it to my advantage more than once.

  “All right, all right,” my mother said. Suddenly it was no big deal. “Have fun. There’s always tomorrow for homework.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  “Ice cream! Sweet! I didn’t know we were going for ice cream!” Todd cheered, jumping up and down with his hands on Hammond’s shoulders.

  “Dude, take some Ritalin,” Hammond groused.

  We all laughed as we piled through the double doors. Shannen’s mother’s Land Rover was in the driveway, and Chloe waved at us from the backseat.

  “Nice work,” I said to Shannen, giving her a shove. “Way to play my mom.”

  “Oh, please. If I hadn’t done it, you would,” she said, shoving me back. “Here, you guys. Help me get this in the truck.”

  She bent at the waist and wrapped her arms around the legs of the lawn jockey that stood at the foot of the stairs. The twins clapped their hands in unison, rubbed them together, then crouched down without so much as a question.

  “Um, why?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

  She rolled her eyes up at me. “You hate this thing, don’t you?”

  I did. It had been there when we moved in, and I’d always thought it was the ugliest thing ever, but my mother loved it. She thought it made us look wealthy or something. As if the eight-bedroom house with resort-style pool, full outdoor basketball court, completely stocked library, and gym didn’t cover that already.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  “So help me get it in the car.”

  Hammond and I shrugged. The thing was way heavier than it looked, and it was a struggle for all five of us to lift it over the rear bumper and into the trunk. We laid it down on its side and it stared out at me, holding its lantern like an accusing finger.

  “Sorry, dude. I’m sure you’re going to a far better place,” I said. Shannen slammed the door and we got in the car.

  “Where’re we going?” I asked.

  “That’s for me and Chloe to know,” Shannen replied, her eyes sparkling.

  As always. Chloe, who was sitting on Hammond’s lap, sighed.

  “Wait. We’re not going for ice cream?” Trevor asked.

  Todd slapped him on the back of the head.

  “Where’s Faith?” I asked, glancing over my shoulder at Hammond.

  “She’s working wi
th her vocal coach,” Chloe answered. “But she made me promise we’d take pictures.”

  “Pictures, huh? This is gonna be good,” Trevor said.

  “You guys have no idea,” Shannen said, smiling at Chloe in the rearview.

  I pushed the button on the automatic window, letting the cool fall air whip my face. Shannen accelerated down the hill at Harvest Lane and hooked a left toward town.

  “Are we going to leave him in the park?” Hammond asked.

  “Nope.”

  Shannen zoomed past Van Houten Square at the center of the shopping area. A bunch of kids we knew were hanging around outside Jump, the local coffee place. They shot us quizzical looks when they saw Shannen behind the wheel.

  “Are we going to the club?” Trevor asked.

  “No.”

  “The farm,” Hammond said. “Are we putting him in the pumpkin patch?”

  “No. No way. Trevor’s scared of the pumpkin patch at night,” Todd said, leaning forward in his seat.

  “The pumpkins have eyes,” Trevor said ominously.

  “Don’t worry, you freak. We’re not going to the farm.”

  “Oh! The new annex?” Todd said, bouncing up and down. He gripped the back of Shannen’s headrest with both hands. “Oh, dude! Are we sinking him to the bottom of the pool?”

  The annex was this monstrous addition being built onto our school to house the new Olympic-size pool. The swim team had always used the country club’s indoor facility, but by this winter we were going to have our own pool in which to dominate the division. Just like we had last year.

  Shannen tilted her head, like this was something she might consider. “No.”

  “Oh, wait. I know where we’re going,” I said, feeling triumphant at having figured Shannen out. “We’re going to Coach Harrison’s house.” Shannen had been pissed at Coach Harrison ever since she quit her job at the high school to coach basketball at one of the state schools. Maybe it was redemption time.

  “How does that make any sense?” Shannen asked.

  “I guess it doesn’t,” I replied. But how did any of this make sense? Who would make sense as the recipient of my mom’s ugly-ass lawn jockey?

  She slammed on the brakes at the stoplight at the bottom of the hill. An Orchard Hill police cruiser rolled past us, and I held my breath. The cop glanced up at Shannen and blinked, but he kept driving. The light turned green and we bucked forward.

  “You’re really not going to tell us where—”

  The words died in my mouth as Shannen turned right, the tires squealing, and raced past the sign for the Orchard View Condominiums. My question had just been answered. We were going to Ally Ryan’s house. A hard stone formed inside my gut. I looked over my shoulder at Hammond. He stared out the window, his nostrils flared.

  “Welcome to the OVC, baby!” Trevor cackled.

  “Shannen, what’re we doing?” I asked.

  She squinted at the quaint street signs and made a sudden right, so late that she almost ran over the opposite curb. “It’s perfect. Mrs. Ryan bought this thing at an antiques auction for, like, a zillion dollars when we were in fourth grade. It was, like, her pride and joy. We’re just returning it to its rightful owner.”

  No, you’re not. You’re taunting Ally. Reminding her that she no longer lives in the house she grew up in. That she no longer belongs. “I don’t know about this.”

  “It’s just a prank,” Shannen said. “Why do you care? Do you like her or something?” She glanced over at me, flicking her bangs from her eyes like a challenge.

  “No.” I stared straight ahead. “It’s just . . . isn’t this kind of, I don’t know, childish?”

  “God. Lighten up,” Shannen said. “This is it.”

  Shannen put the car in park, perpendicular to two other cars in their assigned spots, but kept the engine running. She jumped out and left the door yawning open as she popped the trunk. The Idiot Twins scrambled right out, already laughing under their breath. Jerks. I knew they liked Ally too, but they never said no to anything. Chloe hopped out of the backseat after them. She smoothed her skirt and opened the lens on her camera.

  “Are you marys gonna help or what?” Shannen asked.

  I looked back at Hammond again. Neither of us moved. I was surprised. This was the kind of jackassery he was normally totally up for. But then, so was I. And I hadn’t moved yet either.

  “You can’t back out on us,” Shannen hissed. “We can’t move this thing on our own.”

  “Shit,” Hammond said under his breath. He shoved his door open and got out. “Jake. Let’s go.”

  I swallowed hard. I should just get out of the car and help them. If I didn’t, I’d never hear the end of it.

  “What’s your problem?” Shannen asked, coming to my window. “What happened to Up the Stakes Jake? This is nothing compared with some of the crap we’ve pulled.”

  The half-wits behind the car started to try to remove the ten-ton statue themselves. There was a bang and a tumble, and Todd let out a string of curses worthy of a New York cab driver stuck in traffic at the Puerto Rican Day Parade. Chloe shushed them and giggled. A flash popped.

  I glanced up at the windows on the row of identical condos, wondering which was Ally’s. If she looked out right now, she would see this. All of us out here being juvenile delinquent losers.

  “Jake? Hello? What’s the problem? You don’t even know the girl,” Shannen said. “What, she’s such an incredible backslapper you’ve developed some kind of soft spot for her?”

  Sometimes every word out of Shannen’s mouth sounded like a judgment.

  “No,” I said.

  “Then let’s go already!” She yanked open my door and watched me expectantly.

  Shannen was going to do this anyway, that much I knew. The best thing was to get it over with and get us all out of here as quickly as possible. Before Ally could see us. Before she could see I had anything to do with it. Before all her opinions of me could be confirmed.

  “All right, all right,” I said. “Let’s do this.”

  It took about thirty seconds of grunting and sweaty-handed shifting to deposit the lawn jockey on the small square of cement outside Ally’s front door. Right in front of the obviously new and obviously cheap welcome mat, which was decorated with happy strands of sunflowers. Next to it were two small pumpkins waiting to be carved. I felt like I was going to hurl.

  “Remember how Ally’s dad used to have a whole truckload of pumpkins delivered to their house?” Chloe whispered. She was looking down at the pumpkins too, the camera hanging from a string around her wrist. She glanced at Shannen wistfully. “And we’d all come over to carve them the night before Halloween?”

  Shannen rolled her eyes, but I could tell she wasn’t unaffected by the memory.

  “Pumpkin gut fight!” Trevor and Todd shouted way too loudly.

  “Dudes! Shut it!” Hammond whispered, which made them double over laughing.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” Chloe asked.

  Finally Do-the-Right-Thing Appleby had arrived.

  “Chloe! Come on!” Shannen hissed. “This was practically your idea.”

  “I just said I bet her mom misses the lawn jockey,” Chloe said, wide-eyed. “I didn’t mean we should bring it over here! I mean, look how sad it looks.”

  We all stared down at the lawn jockey. It was so massive it took up almost the entire step. Suddenly a light flicked on overhead.

  “Shit!” the Idiot Twins whispered in unison, and ran.

  Chloe was right on their heels, carefully but quickly picking her way down the steps. Hammond, Shannen, and I froze.

  “Let’s get out of here,” I hissed, my heart in my throat.

  “Wait. There’s one more thing,” Shannen said. And she rang the doorbell.

  “Dammit!”

  Shannen laughed and sprinted for the car. Hammond launched himself face-first into the backseat. My gut stone was now choking all air supply as I fumbled with the handle and ducked i
nside. Shannen hit the gas and peeled out. Hammond kept repeating “shit, shit, shit” over and over and over again while Chloe hid her face in her hands and the Idiot Twins whooped and cheered. I told myself not to look back. That it was a huge mistake to look back. But I did anyway.

  I looked back to find Ally Ryan’s stricken face staring after me.

  ally

  “Hey, guys! Thank you so much for coming!” Annie clutched my arm in one hand, David’s in the other. “I was worried there wouldn’t be anyone here!”

  I glanced around the baseball field, which had been completely taken over by the Fall Festival. For the past two weeks—ever since that first “glitter Sunday”—David and I had spent a lot of our free time helping her with publicity and planning. We’d wheedled free ad space out of the local papers, decided not to put the hot chocolate stand right next to the popcorn stand because it would just cause stomachaches, and made several other crucial decisions involving pricing, portapotties, and decorations. The three of us had a lot of fun, and I’d thought that David and I had put in a ton of work, but now I realized that Annie had done a lot more. This event was huge. There were rides, game booths, food vendors, and even a few wandering jugglers, and it seemed like every kid from the Norm side of town was dropping cash in the hopes of winning lame prizes. The autumn sun shone down on the crowd, and a light breeze tossed colorful fallen leaves across our feet. Everywhere I looked there were the telltale decorations of fall: pumpkins, hay bales, bunches of Indian corn. Somewhere behind us, a bell tolled and a bunch of people cheered.

  “Yeah. This place would be dead without us,” I joked.

  “I know, but these people are all freaks,” Annie said, releasing us.

  David laughed, placing his hands in the front pocket of his oversized OHH soccer sweatshirt. “I thought the artsy people were your people.”

  Annie blinked and tugged down on the brim of her gray plaid fedora as she looked around. “They are. But that doesn’t mean they’re not freaks,” she joked.