Box of Hearts (The Connor's Series Book 1)

by Nikki Ashton

  “Well, she’s happy enough now. As for me making her happy, I think it’s a lot of things,” I said as I started to clear away the dishes. “You’re spending time with her, Bonnie isn’t so stressed, Garratt is home, and I’m getting her to use her brain, which means play time is all the more enjoyable. I’d say that’s a pretty epic group effort, wouldn’t you?”

  Jesse’s eyes closed momentarily as he exhaled slowly.

  “Yeah,” he said. “Pretty epic.”

  We both stared at each other, and unspoken gratitude was passed between us. Addy wasn’t my child, but I couldn’t thank Jesse enough for finally letting her back into his heart.

  “Daddy,” Addy cried, interrupting our moment of silence. “It’s time for the dessert. I made it. But,” she whispered. “Millie calls it pudding and pudding is Jell-O, but there’s no Jell-O in it. How silly is that?”

  “Oh, baby,” Jesse laughed, pulling her onto his lap. “I love you.”

  Addy flung her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “I love you, too, Daddy, but Millie is still silly.”

  After dinner, Addy wanted to play cards and when she said her game of choice was ‘Concentration’, I was pretty sure that I heard Jesse let out a pained groan. To his credit, he didn’t say anything, but got the cards and dealt them with some dexterity it had to be said.

  The longer we played, the more I learned that Jesse and Addy were both extremely competitive; there was no letting the child win as far as Jesse was concerned. Unfortunately for him, I was not of the same viewpoint, and on a couple of occasions gave her a little nod towards a matching pair. Jesse’s face was a picture when Addy won the deciding 5th game – they had won two each - I on the other hand, won none; probably because I was concentrating on Jesse’s laughing blue eyes far more than I was the cards on the table.

  “I still think you helped her on that last game,” he grumbled as I cleared away the mugs that we’d had hot chocolate in.

  “Seriously?” I waved a hand at him and bit my lip to stifle the laughter. “You need to chill out, Jesse.”

  “I don’t,” he cried. “You need to stop teaching my daughter how to cheat.”

  “You have no proof. She’s a bright girl and won fair and square.”

  “Well, she couldn’t stop giggling about something when I put her to bed.”

  “She’s probably just happy to have beaten you, that’s all,” I replied.

  “Whatever, Millie,” he laughed and flicked the newspaper at my backside.

  “Ow.” I turned to him with a grin and rubbed at my bum.

  His own smile was a mile wide, and it warmed my heart to see him happy and relaxed.

  “Well, just remember how that feels next time you want to cheat.”

  I let out a sigh of contentment and watched as he sat in the recliner, shook out the newspaper, and began to read. The worry lines that were usually in permanent residence on his brow had smoothed out, and his mouth was curled into a small smile. My chest constricted as I watched him and when he reached a hand up to run it through his hair, I had to press my thighs together to relieve the aching throb that was starting between my legs.

  Jesse Connor had become my addiction. I’d had a taste, twice, and it was never going to be enough. I needed to taste him every day in whatever way possible; him inside me, his mouth on mine, or my mouth on his cock, I didn’t care.

  My breath shuddered as I shook my head and moved into the kitchen. This wasn’t me; I wasn’t the sort of girl who had dirty thoughts. I wasn’t a prude, but sex wasn’t something discussed in our house; my mother was a practicing Catholic who had once made my brother give three ‘Hail Mary’ for asking her what pre-menstrual meant. Where Jesse was concerned though, I had no filter. My brain just wouldn’t stop imagining all of the beautifully dirty things that we could do together.

  “Millie!” Jesse was suddenly behind me.

  “Oh sorry, yeah?”

  “I was just asking if you’d like a beer.”

  Jesse moved towards the refrigerator and an image of the previous night flashed before my eyes. We’d been going to have beer then, too.

  The refrigerator door slammed and Jesse opened a drawer to pull out a bottle opener. He popped the caps and passed a bottle to me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked before taking a swig of his beer.

  I nodded and held the cold bottle against my heated neck. The warmth from between my legs had rapidly travelled up my body and I was desperate for some relief.

  “Okay then.” Jesse smiled and glanced quickly at the table.

  He was having exactly the same thoughts as I was. His eyes were suddenly hooded and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip and drew in a breath as Jesse’s hand reached up to push my hair behind my ear.

  “Millie,” he whispered.

  “Jesse?”

  He said nothing but let his hand slip to my cheek, where his fingertips whispered against my skin before dropping to his side. I swallowed, taking a step forward, my eyes never leaving his.

  “I’m in so much trouble,” he whispered.

  My free hand reached for Jesse’s, and took a loose hold of his fingertips. He looked down at our touch and then back up to me. His eyes were no longer a bright azure blue, but were now a deep sapphire color and were full of promise.

  He put his bottle of beer down onto the table and then reached for mine. As he pulled it from my hand, the front door slammed.

  “Hey kids, I’m home!”

  Garratt was back. Jesse dropped my hand, took a step back, and still holding my beer, walked into the living area to greet his brother, leaving me a hot, wet mess of frustration.

  Jesse

  I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to strangle my brother slowly, or slap him on the back with thanks. If he hadn’t come home when he did, I have no doubt that I would have been inside Millie and taking us both towards another mind blowing orgasm. Something that I’d told her would not be happening again; but fuck if the idea of it didn’t fill me with excitement.

  “What you doing back?” I asked Garratt as he threw his duffle bag down.

  “Let’s just say Mikey needs to stay away from the drink for a while.”

  I frowned and thrust my hands to my hips, the beer bottle dangling from my fingers. “What fucking trouble did you get into this time?”

  Garratt grinned and held his hands up in surrender. “Nothing, there was no trouble. Unless you call Mikey having alcohol poisoning and spending last night at the City hospital on an IV trouble.”

  “You bunch of dicks,” I stormed. “Don’t you know how dangerous it is to spike someone’s drink?”

  Garratt and his buddies were celebrating Mikey’s 21st birthday in the city, so I was guessing that the poor guy had no idea what he’d been drinking.

  “Hey, it wasn’t me,” Garratt protested. “It was some guy, Donny, that John brought along. He kept slipping tequila into Mikey’s beer.”

  “And you’re telling me that Mikey couldn’t taste it and none of you saw him doing it?”

  “Yep, that’s about it.”

  “Bullshit, Garratt,” I barked, shaking my head. “You are a stupid bunch of idiots.”

  “I swear Jess, we had no idea until Mikey passed out. I called an Uber and me and Benjie took him to the emergency room.”

  I let out a long, slow exhale as I watched my brother and I knew that he was telling the truth. As Garratt flopped down onto the couch, Millie came in wiping her hands on a kitchen towel.

  “Hi, Garratt, I was just taking the rubbish out.”

  Garratt grinned as soon as he saw Millie walking towards us; it was a grin of happiness. A twinge of something dug in my gut as I thought about my brother and his feelings for Millie. But then I felt stupid. You could see in his eyes it was purely the love of a friend that he had for her; maybe even brotherly.

  “Do you mean the trash?” he asked on a laugh.

  “So sorry,” she said sarcastica
lly. “I must make sure I do my homework in the future.”

  “Ah, I’m only messing with you, Millie. So,” he said turning to me. “What are you doing here, and where are Mom and Dad?”

  I explained about Auntie Ruby and grinned when Garratt’s face fell at the news that she was coming home with them. I was Auntie Ruby’s favorite and she gave Garratt shit whenever she could.

  “Ugh,” he groaned. “I think I might go back to the city for a while.”

  “Now I’m worried,” Millie said, her face crumpling into a grimace.

  “Oh, you’ll be fine,” Garratt replied. “It’s just me she hates.”

  “She doesn’t hate you,” I scoffed. “She just loves me more.”

  Garratt shook his head and pushed up from the couch. “I’m going to grab a beer to help soften the blow. You want one, Millie? I see my brother just looked after himself.”

  I glanced down at the bottle still in my hand and then looked at Millie. A blush touched her cheeks and she shook her head.

  “He did pull one out of the refrigerator for me, but I’m going to go to bed, so you have it. It’s on the table.”

  “Stay up with us,” Garratt said as he walked past Millie and ruffled her hair.

  “No, I’ve got a new book on my Kindle that I want to read.” Her eyes reached mine and I wondered whether she wanted me to say something; maybe she wanted me to ask her to stay. Like a pussy, I said nothing, because hadn’t I made it clear that it would be one night?

  “Okay, night Millie. See you in the morning.”

  “Night, Garratt.” She looked at me and paused. “Night, Jesse.”

  “G’night, and thanks for dinner.”

  She gave me a small smile and disappeared up the stairs, leaving me wishing that Garratt didn’t have such douchebag friends.

  Millie

  “Good morning, honey,” Bonnie greeted me with a tired smile.

  It was Tuesday morning, after the Founder’s fair, and she and Ted hadn’t got home until late the previous evening, with a grumpy Auntie Ruby in tow. By the time they’d gotten her settled into bed, caught up with ranch news, and had a hot drink, it was way past midnight.

  “You should have stayed in bed. Jesse said one of the guys is cooking for the bunk house again today,” I said, noticing that it wasn’t even six-thirty.

  “I know, but my body just likes the early mornings. Ted went off early with Jesse, anyhow, and while he tried to be quiet, that man is like a herd of buffalo thudding around. Why are you up, honey? I could hear Addy snoring away when I came down.”

  “I just couldn’t sleep,” I replied, feeling a heat on my cheeks.

  I’d tossed and turned all night thinking about Jesse lying on his camp bed just a few doors down. If he hadn’t been in the same room as Addy, I’m sure I’d have gone and tried to seduce him.

  “Addy, Ted, and Ruby snoring together is enough to wake the damn dead I suppose,” Bonnie groaned. “Thank the lord I have ear plugs.”

  I laughed and poured her a coffee from the jug bubbling away. She took it from me added her creamer and sugar and then took a long drink with a sigh.

  “Ooh, I’ve missed that,” she said, putting her mug down on the table. “Auntie Ruby does not spend money on decent coffee, that’s for sure.”

  “How is she feeling, after her fall?”

  I hadn’t really gotten a chance to meet her at any great length. The poor old lady had been so tired that Ted had practically carried her up to bed as she’d grumbled about the number of stairs.

  Bonnie swatted her hand in dismissal. “Oh she’s fine, nothing was broken. She’s just got a little bruising on her legs and her ego. She didn’t really want to come, but Ted insisted.”

  “Whose aunt is she?”

  “Mine, she’s my mom’s sister. There were six of them, but there’s only Auntie Ruby left now.” Bonnie looked wistful as she stared out of the window through to the garden. “When I was a child, we’d have some huge family parties. Christmas was magical, usually at our house because we had more room. My uncle Elias always dressed up as Santa Claus for us kids, and his wife, Aunt Jeannie, would tell us ghost stories on Christmas Night. Yeah, we’d always have a house full.

  “Six siblings and all their families is definitely a house full,” I exclaimed.

  “There was usually at least thirty of us. But my momma loved playing hostess for them all. I was brought up on a farm, about eighty miles from here, and we lived in huge house that my daddy built my momma as a wedding present.”

  “Really? So how did you meet Ted?” I pulled my chair closer to the table. “I know eighty miles isn’t much distance around here, but Ted said he didn’t go to college, so you didn’t meet there.”

  Bonnie grinned and I noticed that her cheeks were a little red.

  “He came with his father to buy a couple of horses from my daddy. I’d just finished college and was at home. I was bored, so while our dads thrashed out a deal, I showed Ted around the farm.”

  She stopped speaking, rested her chin in her hand and looked dreamily into the distance.

  “And?” I giggled.

  Bonnie looked coy. “And I took him down to the creek and he kissed me. Just one hour and ten minutes after meeting me.”

  “Oh, Bonnie,” I gasped. “That’s so romantic.”

  “Not really,” she laughed. “I pushed him in the creek and called him a creeper.”

  We both burst out laughing.

  “You didn’t?”

  Bonnie nodded. “I did. Didn’t stop Ted though. As soon as he got back onto the bank he pulled me into his arms and kissed me again.”

  “Did you push him in again?” I asked, wide eyed.

  “No, honey,” she whispered. “I kissed him back and we were married three months later.”

  My hand went to my chest and my eyes watered with emotion. From the look of love on Bonnie’s face, she adored Ted as much now as she did then.

  “My boys surely do take after Ted,” she said with a shake of her head. “Both romantics, both impetuous, and, even though I’m biased, both as swoon worthy as hell.”

  Oh God, I couldn’t disagree there. Both were handsome, definitely, but Jesse was as delicious a man as I’d ever seen. Unfortunately, the baggage that he carried on his back daily meant that he would never be my ‘Ted’.

  As that thought ran through my head, I mentally chastised myself. What the hell was I doing, thinking that Jesse and I could be some current version of his parents? I knew my feelings for him were stronger than they should have been, but the heart wasn’t the most sensible of organs. My Grandma Armalita used to say that every time your heart fell in love, a brain cell died, and I think she was right. It seemed a whole cluster of mine had bitten the dust since meeting Jesse.

  “Wow,” I said softly. “That’s so lovely. Just three months and you’re still together.”

  “Twenty-nine years this year,” Bonnie announced proudly. “Don’t misunderstand me, we’ve had times when things were tough, with Jesse when Melody passed and don’t get me started on Garratt. That boy has been a constant worry from the minute the doctor slapped his ass, but no matter what, we’ve always had love. I’m grateful that my daddy thought his two horses were worth more than Ted’s dad was willing to pay. Otherwise, I’d never have taken him down to the creek and he’d have never kissed me.”

  “That’s like one of the romances that I read,” I sighed.

  Bonnie reached her hand out and taking my fingers in hers, gave them a gentle squeeze.

  “Oh honey, it’ll work itself out.”

  As I looked at her, Bonnie’s eyes softened and her full mouth, exactly like Jesse’s, turned up at the corners. I drew in a breath and curled my lips inwards. The emotion of homesickness overpowered me and suddenly I wanted my mum. I needed to talk through how Dean’s betrayal had made me feel so worthless that I’d practically thrown myself at Jesse. And then of course there were my feelings for Jesse; I really needed to talk to someone ab
out them.

  “You want to talk to me sweetheart?” Bonnie asked softly.

  Swiping at the tear that crawled down my cheek, I nodded.

  “He made me feel like I was nothing, Bonnie.” I held my breath, desperately trying to stem more tears that were threatening.

  “Who we talking about here, hmm?” Her hand reached up and pushed my hair away from my face. “That ex of yours or my son?”

  My eyes went as wide as saucers and my mouth dropped open. I watched Bonnie warily as she pulled her chair closer to mine.

  “Oh God,” I whispered, averting my embarrassed gaze.

  “Honey,” she cooed, lifting my chin with her finger. “You’re grown adults but you kind of need to be careful where and when you make out.”

  She smiled but my heart was thudding like a jack hammer in my chest. Visions of what Jesse did to me up against the barn wall flashed before my eyes.

  “W-what did you see?” I stammered.

  “Exactly that, you two making out. I was coming back from the bunk house and saw you. It looked kind of hot and heavy, so I found a little more cleaning to do.”

  Making out was putting it mildly. His fingers were inside me, taking me to another level of pleasure.

  “So, what happened, and I don’t want the details,” Bonnie chuckled. “He’s still my son.”

  “Please, believe me when I say, Addy has never been around, I wouldn’t risk her seeing us.” A sick feeling rolled around in my stomach, wondering whether Bonnie’s smile was a mask and any minute now she would scream at me to pack my bags. It also occurred to me that Addy could quite easily have seen us the night we had sex. She might have woken and come looking for Jesse. I was the worst kind of person. I deserved to be sent packing.

  “I know, but are you saying it’s happened more than once?”

  I nodded slowly.

  “The broken soup bowl and bottles in the trash wouldn’t have something to do with that, would it?”

  I nodded slowly – again.

  “I really want Jesse to be ready for you, Millie, but I’m not sure he is.” She sighed heavily and folded both her hands around mine. “And to be honest, I’m not real sure that you’re ready for him. You were about to get married and only didn’t because your man decided he wanted…let’s say, he wanted something different. You can’t possibly be over that, honey. Not only did you lose him, but you lost your future. And how and why you lost those things must have been heart breaking.”