The Road to L.A.

by Buchanan, Gina

  “Um, actually, I’d like Amanda Anderson to help me. Is she here?”

  The sales associate nodded his head and pointed to the back corner of the store where a young woman with a black ponytail was busy sorting some CDs.

  “Thanks,” Carly smiled at him. She turned and walked over to her.

  “Hey,” Carly said nervously.

  She held her breath as the twin turned around. Amanda’s eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the greeter.

  “Hey,” Amanda replied coolly before turning around to proceed with her task. Carly felt an emotional pang at the twin’s chilly behavior.

  “Look, I came to talk. I know you were pissed before I left for L.A., and I have no idea why. I just wanna know what upset you," Carly ventured bravely.

  Amanda ignored Carly's plea and turned to walk away, but she hesitated when she noted the desperation in Carly's voice.

  “I already lost a good friend, I don’t want to lose another."

  “I get off at six. Meet me at The Pit Stop,” Amanda replied in an apathetic tone. With that, she walked away to help a customer at the register.

  Carly let out a huge sigh of relief and relaxed her tense stomach muscles. She could have sworn she had held her breath during the whole exchange, fearful and not anticipating how Amanda would react. She was immensely thankful that Amanda had agreed to meet with her.

  Several hours later, Carly arrived at The Pit Stop. She walked in and almost immediately spotted Amanda sitting in a booth at the rear of the restaurant, a glass of soda set out in front of her. Carly approached and slid into the seat opposite hers.

  “Hey,” Carly greeted cautiously.

  Amanda peered down at her drink in response, swirling the brown liquid with her straw while maintaining a frown on her face. An uncomfortable silence ensued, and Carly decided to be the first to break the ice.

  “Look,” she began while nervously wringing her hands. “You’re upset. I'm pretty sure it's because I went to L.A. and Jake left you out. I shouldn't have gone without you, I'm sorry."

  “It’s not because you went to L.A. I mean, seriously Carly, do you think I'm that needy and insecure?” Amanda cut in suddenly, catching Carly off guard. “Truthfully, it’s always been about the way he looked at you, and the way he treated you.”

  “What are you talking about?” Carly asked in a confused tone.

  Amanda sighed wearily, an expression of emotional surrender on her face.

  “It’s just that…you were always Jake’s favorite. It’s always been like that. You were always the center of his attention. Ever since we were kids, Jake has had this special thing for you, as if you were some special trophy."

  Amanda paused momentarily to study Carly's face after this blunt confession. When she saw nothing but genuine concern and empathy, she continued.

  "I dealt with it for years, pushing it to the side. I just hoped that one day he would look at me like he looked at you. This whole L.A. thing was just the last straw for me. It made me realize he'd never like me in that way."

  Carly was silent as she tried to sort out everything Amanda had just unleashed.

  “Oh, for God’s sake. I’m just going to say it,” Amanda finally conceded. She confessed, “I've always had a thing for Jake. But he likes you. I just didn't wanna face reality."

  Amanda looked down at her drink and swirled the straw around the edge of the glass.

  "You going with him to L.A. made me jealous."

  “Trust me, Jake doesn't like me in that way either,” Carly responded firmly, the sadness struggling to overtake her. But she kept it at bay and fought to remain strong. She definitely didn't want the twin to see her with tears in her eyes. No doubt this would prompt questions, and Carly didn't feel like talking about L.A.

  Amanda shook her head to this and replied, "That's a load of shit and you know it. He's always liked you."

  Determined to change the direction of the conversation, she asked, “If you had such a thing for him, why didn’t you ever make a move?”

  Amanda groaned and threw her hands up in utter exasperation.

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to get through your thick skull. I knew it’d be pointless because he liked you...not me. I'd never have a chance." The last was said with a slight tinge of melancholy.

  “You mean to tell me, you were mad at me because you were jealous that Jake supposedly liked me?” Carly asked incredulously.

  The twin remained silent and looked down at her drink. She couldn't quite meet Carly's eyes for she was too embarrassed. Hearing it aloud from someone else made her realize just how childish she had been.

  “You risked our friendship over a guy?" Carly continued, slightly vexed.

  “Okay!” the twin shot out. She dared a peek at her friend across the table.

  “I know it sounds stupid, but that’s just what I was…stupid. When I realized that Jake was fully prepared to whisk you away to L.A. and I was nowhere in the picture, it just upset me. I was hurt.”

  Carly disapprovingly shook her head. But it all made sense to her now.

  “I should have known it would happen eventually and that I’d have to face the truth. He adores you," Amanda said with strong conviction.

  “You have no clue whatsoever,” Carly scoffed.

  Amanda looked baffled and Carly decided to fill her in. Although it was hard to talk about, she relayed all that had happened in L.A., including the intimacy she had shared with Jake. When Carly had finished, Amanda stared at her expectantly.

  “What?” she asked.

  “How was it?”

  Carly began to blush as she realized what the twin was referring to.

  “You want a full report?” Carly asked, slightly embarrassed.

  When the twin didn’t say anything and continued to stare, Carly said, “It was great, okay.”

  “I knew he would be! So, what exactly did he do?” Amanda asked shamelessly.

  “He…,” Carly began, then emitted a resigned sigh. "What does it matter anyway? It's over.”

  “Is it really over? Has he called you at all since you left?”

  Carly remained silent as she brooded over the realization that she would probably never hear from him again. Amanda noticed the distressed look on Carly’s face and got a perverse sense of satisfaction out of the whole thing.

  “It’s really over, huh?”

  Carly nodded.

  Both girls remained silent until Amanda finally threw her hands up in exasperation and exclaimed, “What the fuck am I thinking! Jake will be running back to you in no time.”

  Amanda’s voice sounded so confident it bred momentary hope.

  “You really think so? Why?” Carly asked.

  Amanda rolled her eyes and leaned forward.

  “Because he loves you, you ditz."

  “Love? Ha! I seriously doubt that. I mean, I poured my heart and soul out and he blew me off."

  “No,” Amanda said, shaking her head. “He didn’t blow you off. He just didn’t know at the time how to respond. It probably came as a shock to him.”

  Carly scoffed at this.

  "Plus, L.A.'s got him all fucked up in the head for the time being. He'll snap out of it, though."

  Carly remained dubious. But if Amanda was right, then...what was she thinking? She chided herself for even considering the possibility that she and Jake could end up together. Amanda was putting all these crazy ideas in her head, and they weren't helping her get over the grief and sadness.

  Carly glanced at her watch and remarked, "I better go. I'm supposed to grab some milk for my mom so she can make dinner tonight."

  "Cool. I'm just gonna pay for my drink really quickly and leave with you."

  “So, are we okay?” Carly asked hopefully.

  Amanda’s face brightened and she seated herself next to Carly to give her a hug.

  “I’m sorry for being such a jealous bitch,” Amanda said sheepishly.

  Carly could tell the twin was genuinely apologetic.<
br />
  "Don't worry about it," Carly replied, smiling at the twin.

  “Now we just need to get you and Jake back together. You guys are obviously meant for each other,” Amanda said resolutely.

  Carly rolled her eyes and shook her head in disagreement.

  “I know I’m right!” Amanda called as Carly veered in the opposite direction to get to her car. “I’m giving him to you, so you better take him before I change my mind!”

  Carly simply laughed and waved good-bye to the twin.

  On the way back to her parent's house, Carly made a quick stop at a convenience store to pick up the milk. She ran inside, heading straight for the coolers at the rear. She was in the process of locating the milk when she nearly collided with a young man standing in front of the door to the beer cooler. She swiftly apologized for her near clumsiness, and he turned to look at her.

  “Carly?”

  He stepped back as if he had seen an apparition. His eyes roved her body and came to a rest on her face.

  “Wow!” he exclaimed. He was grinning widely at her. “It’s nice running into you.”

  “Yeah, same here,” Carly reciprocated.

  “So, how’ve you been?” she asked.

  “Pretty good. Just bought a house out at Quail Lake. Don’t spend as much time at the bar like I used to.”

  He paused and added, "There's no reason for me to be there since you left."

  Carly blushed and looked down. Travis noticed her bashful gesture, and he laughed.

  “I’m joking! We hired a bartender not too long after you quit. I gladly relinquished my bartending duties.”

  She relaxed again and also laughed, although she could have sworn there had been some truth to his jest. He looked at her now, as if momentarily captivated by her beauty. He reached into his pocket to extract his wallet and pulled out a business card for her.

  “Call me sometime. And if you’re needing a job, we definitely have an opening. Just for you.” He added the last statement for good measure.

  She graciously accepted the card and looked up to find him smiling at her. The sight of his dimples was disarming, and she had to force herself not to stare at his handsome face. She had forgotten just how striking Travis was. She wholeheartedly blamed that on Jake. He always had a way of seizing her full attention so that she forgot about everything else. But how could anyone blame her? Jake was the finest male specimen she had ever seen. And he was so talented, and confident, and adventurous. Not to mention he was compassionate when he wanted to be. She groaned inwardly and immediately cut those thoughts short so she could re-focus her mind on present matters. Smiling sweetly at Travis, she replied, "I might just take you up on that offer.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Four months later, Jake found himself in New York City. An entire floor of a five-star hotel had been reserved exclusively for them and it was overflowing with people, a majority of them girls desperate to hang out with the band. Only the lucky few had managed to catch the band members’ eyes and were now enjoying a night of partying with the rock stars. StoneLief had just finished its Road to L.A. tour, with the last stop being New York City, and was now celebrating the spoils of this very successful, lucrative venture. Jake was astonished at how many millions in revenue the tour had generated. The financial returns had greatly pleased their manager, and he had gushed eagerly about StoneLief's next album.

  Jake leaned back in the sofa now, allowing a Brazilian beauty to kiss on his neck. The girl seated atop Hayden was pushed off his lap so he could fish for something in his pocket. He retrieved a sandwich bag containing yellow pills and tossed it on the coffee table. He motioned with his fingers for a tall blonde in the corner of the room to come over and join him. She smiled victoriously at the other girls. Before long, she had planted herself next to Hayden on the sofa and took the pill he offered her. Aidan also took a pill from the bag and offered it to his beautiful companion.

  "What is it?" she asked.

  "It's Ecstasy. Here?" He again held it out to her.

  She hesitated momentarily as if thinking whether she should take it and then said, "I have to work tomorrow. I don't know if I should."

  "Hey, if not you, someone else will." Aidan nodded at a brunette. "You wanna try it?"

  His hesitant companion immediately changed her tune and said, "Fine. I guess I can call in sick."

  Aidan smiled widely at her compliance and placed it on her tongue. Jake watched and then gently pushed the Brazilian model away. Standing, he moved to leave the room.

  “Where you going?” Aidan asked. His hands were under the girl's rear, and he was rubbing it while she licked and bit on his neck. A cloud of smoke escaped his mouth after a draw on his cigarette.

  "I'm tired."

  "You didn't like what I was doing to you?" The Brazilian cast him a woeful glance, and a pout had formed on her lips. "I can do better. I'll make you feel really good, handsome."

  She made sure to lower the neckline of her dress so that her cleavage appeared even more enticing. Her tactic failed, however, for Jake didn’t even bother to reply and continued his trek out of the room.

  "You could totally nail this hottie. What's wrong with you, bro?" Aidan called to Jake. But he failed to respond to Aidan, too. He really didn’t care much right now. Besides, he had seen too many beautiful women who had readily thrown themselves at him to really be tempted by this one. He just didn't have it in him right now to fuck anyone, even if the girl looked like a supermodel.

  Before long, Jake had shut the door behind the ongoing chaos on the 20th floor of the hotel. He locked the door to finalize his retreat. He then propped his whole body against the floor-to-ceiling window and peered outside. He beheld the breathtaking, panoramic view of the colorful city lights. The brightness seemed to go on endlessly as if the whole world was covered with it. They reminded Jake of the ocean, so infinite and vast. Even when exposed to New York City’s lustrous and animated splendor, Jake still felt somber. Everything around him had turned so completely cold, and an overcast grayness followed him wherever he went. He thought of her then, just as he had done countless other times when he wasn’t distracted. He balled his fist and struck the thick glass, silently cursing her for causing him to feel so completely miserable and alone. He could even recall the number of days it had been since the night she had left L.A. so abruptly. He thought he had known - had been so sure of it - what he wanted out of life and what would fill the emptiness that had so often plagued him growing up. Never really having had the family experience and the attention Carly so readily received from her parents, he had longed to feel that exact thing. He had craved the shelter, the love, and the acceptance. He had been so certain that all the attention he was getting in L.A. would fulfill what he had been seeking for so long. But he was now slowly realizing he had been wrong. He never knew who was being honest, who he could really trust, and who had his best interests at heart. He hadn't even been able to find anyone to talk to about these solemn feelings. There was only one person he trusted, who he knew was always honest with him, and whom he could talk to anything about. He often became angry with himself for not responding when she had told him she loved him. The fact was that he did love her, too. Even though he had tried to forget about her - fought to erase her from his mind - it was obvious to him that he loved her more than anything and would not be able to let her go so easily. He suddenly decided he needed a distraction, and the only thing that seemed to work during moments like these was his music. He sat down on the recliner next to the window and reached for the pad and pen on the table next to him. He turned on the table lamp so he could see what he was jotting down. He began to write slowly, then with increased fervor, as the words seemed to fall on the paper with an unbridled, creative flow. At the conclusion of his efforts, he jotted at the top of the page Come Back (To Me). He groaned out loud and tossed the pen across the room. Even his music was betraying him now.

  * * * *

  Carly wiped down the bar coun
ter while an off-key rendition of Strawberry Wine emanated from the karaoke section. Several weeks ago, Travis had graciously re-hired her, and coincidentally, he became a permanent fixture at the karaoke bar again. He poked his head out of the manager’s office and instructed Jeremy, the new bartender, to grab a few cases of rum from the cellar. Jeremy sighed and directed a frown at Carly.

  “Ever since he hired you, he’s always here,” he griped. “And when he’s here, he works me like a dog.”

  “Sorry,” she replied. Her grin was apologetic.

  With that, Jeremy left to go complete his task. Travis came out of the office to fill in for the bartender, and Carly couldn’t help notice his eyes on her while she worked. She looked up at him and met his stare.

  “What?” she asked and tossed a towel at him.

  Jeremy finally reappeared with a heavy box in his tattooed arms. After Travis and Jeremy restocked the bar, Travis looked at her and said, “Can I see you in my office, Carly? I need you to verify your timesheet for me.”

  Jeremy threw her an insinuating glance as she walked past him. Before she was able to close the office door behind her, Travis attacked her with the full force of his body, sending her back against the wall. His lips crushed hers as he kissed her passionately, and his body craved hers while he held her pinned against the wall. She accepted him at first, having longed to feel the touch of a man and to be the subject of a man’s ravenous desire. Before long, however, the intimacy brought back memories of the feelings she had experienced with Jake when they had shared something so deep and so emotional. She pulled her lips away from his and turned her head to the side, allowing her hands to release their grip on his shoulders.