Unexpected Arrivals

by Stephie Walls

  Maybe I was pussy-whipped, or love-struck, or maybe she was just my destiny, but nothing was ever going to come between us. I counted down the days until graduation—even though it was three years away—to be able to propose to her and legally make her mine. Waiting that long was a risk, but I refused to be responsible for her not chasing her dreams as aggressively as I pursued my own. She supported me in everything I did, and I made sure to do the same—marriage might have derailed that, and we were still young. I had to remind myself daily that if we were meant to be that would still be true at the end of our senior year.

  Like a girl with a juvenile crush, I dreamed about the day she’d take my last name. Cora was aware of how I felt even if I didn’t shout it from the rooftops.

  “Why don’t you move in here after exams?” I twirled a piece of her hair as she lay on my shoulder. The feel of her warm skin pressed against mine was euphoric. Even though it was a chick thing to say, I enjoyed the afterglow of sex with Cora almost as much as I did the actual act.

  “With you and Neil?” Her voice was groggy, and she was tired. This was the best time to get her to concede to my wishes. Sleep tugging at her lessened her will to fight.

  “Yeah. You’re here all the time anyhow. It seems silly for you to pay for an apartment as a storage unit.”

  “I’m not sure Neil would be all that excited about your plan.”

  Neil and I had talked about it at length. The two of them had become incredibly close over the last year, and he’d grown to love her like a sister. She was his confidant as much as she was my own. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome between the two and never would have suspected this was where we’d be after that fight in the lunchroom our junior year of high school. Yet here we were, and Neil knew how much I loved Cora.

  “Actually, he was the one who suggested it.”

  “Hmm. I’m not sure how your parents would feel about you shacking up with me.” Her playful tone told me she was at least considering my proposition.

  “Probably the same way your grandparents would. Somehow, it would get leaked to the press, and the paparazzi would be looking for the money shot to splash all over the tabloids and ruin their good names.” I did my best Perez Hilton impression to exaggerate their archaic thoughts.

  Her finger traced circles on my skin, and she nuzzled into me.

  “Have you talked to them recently?” I wasn’t brave enough to inquire about them when she was awake.

  “My grandmother sent me a couple emails. They’re more like newsletters than personal contact. I can’t figure out why she bothers. If she showed half as much interest in me as she does fundraising, our relationship would be completely different.” She refused to admit how she wished they were close, though I knew the truth. What I didn’t know was why Cora never accepted the olive branches her grandmother tried to extend.

  I was losing her attention by the sleepy response she’d given me regarding Gwendolyn Chase, except she hadn’t answered my original question. “Will you think about it? Moving in. Neil and I could move your stuff in a day.”

  Cora didn’t answer with words. Instead, she kissed my jaw and cuddled down into the crook of my side where she loved to sleep, and I loved to hold her.

  When I woke the next morning, the bed was empty, and I could hear voices in the kitchen. After throwing on some basketball shorts, I made my way toward the scent of freshly-brewed coffee to find Cora and Neil huddled around the kitchen table chatting.

  Before I could even consider what had them in a verbal uproar this early in the morning, I had to have caffeine. Just the smell brought life to my tired limbs. One sip awakened my senses and the second brought me to functioning as a human. Joining them at the table, I lifted Cora and took her seat before easing her onto my lap. “What are you guys talking about?”

  “Cora moving in.” Neil smiled at her as though they had some secret I wasn’t privy to.

  “As in Cora agreed? Or you two are debating it without me?” I snickered. They wouldn’t be up to anything that would hurt me. Not once had I felt a single twinge of jealousy where Cora was concerned—she hadn’t given me any reason to.

  “Yep.” She popped the P with a grin that overtook her cheeks and resonated in her eyes.

  “So Neil can convince you, but I can’t?” I feigned hurt, throwing my hand across my forehead in exasperation.

  She playfully swatted my chest. “No, silly. I just needed to make sure everybody felt the same way.”

  Cora had worried for over two years about intruding on my friendship with Neil. What she hadn’t considered was that she was now just as much his friend as she was my girlfriend.

  “When are we moving you?” I no longer needed the coffee to start my day. It wasn’t that this would change much because it wouldn’t. Other than having her stuff here, our days would remain the same. I couldn’t remember the last time she’d stayed at her apartment. “I’ll go put on tennis shoes so we can get started.”

  “Down, boy,” she teased. “I just figured I’d start leaving stuff here as it showed up. There’s no need to go racing into the night to move furniture we don’t need.”

  I hadn’t thought about what we would do with her stuff. I didn’t think she had an emotional attachment to any of it. She’d bought it when we moved here after deciding against the dorms—the smell of teenage spirit drove her away—and since she was never at her place, there was little chance she’d grown committed to it.

  “What do you want to do with it?”

  She shrugged. “Not get rid of it. I guess just put it in storage. I spent a lot of money and won’t get it back if I try to sell it. Eventually, I’ll need it for a house.”

  Cora winked at me and set the butterflies in flight in my stomach. Even after being together over two years, those bright-green eyes never failed to erupt the flame that burned in my heart for her like she’d just doused it in gasoline.

  Neil sat there looking perfectly content, as though nothing made him happier than seeing the two of us together. He’d struggled a lot this year. The financial change had been difficult for him, although the emotional pain he endured from his family’s absence had taken a greater toll. I thought that was why he and Cora had become so close. While his parents hadn’t died, they might as well have. They were so engrossed in their own bullshit that the moment he was no longer in their home, they’d completely let him slip away. Add to that, Natalie had basically given him an ultimatum to either move to New York and go to Syracuse, or she was cutting him out as well. And she remained true to her word. All he had left was the two of us by the time we had arrived in North Carolina.

  There was no doubt in my mind that once he started school in the fall and hopefully earned a place on the basketball team, I’d watch him come to life again. Seeing him this way now made the corners of my mouth lift in a goofy grin.

  ***

  “I’m late.”

  “What do you mean, you’re late?” The words slipped past my lips in a much harsher tone than I’d intended.

  “I mean, I should have started my period four days ago, and it hasn’t come. I’m late.” The fear in my girlfriend’s eyes was more crushing than the thought of her being pregnant our sophomore year in college.

  “Maybe it’s just stress.” I’d heard stress could change the body’s chemistry, surely it could change a woman’s monthly cycle.

  “I’m on the Pill, James. It should be like clockwork.”

  “Exactly, you’re on the Pill. So there’s no way you could be pregnant.” I wanted to believe those words, but even as a guy, I wasn’t stupid enough to believe anything was foolproof except abstinence. And we were far from celibate.

  She stared at me in disbelief. “You’re not really that naïve, right?” Her clipped tone gave me more insight into her trepidation than the fear in her eyes.

  I took her into my arms, pulling her onto my lap, and sat on the bed. Her thin arms wrapped around my midsection, and her head met the hollow of my neck. W
hen I kissed the top of her head, she relaxed into my embrace.

  “I get that the timing would be horrible, but is having a child with me the end of the world?” We’d never had a conversation about kids, and I wasn’t excited about having it now. It was a reality we might have to face sooner rather than later, and we had to discuss where she stood.

  Her shoulders rose as she inhaled deeply. When she finally spoke, her words were an insecure whisper. “James, I don’t want children.”

  I pressed my cheek against the top of her head and smiled against her scalp. “I’m not gung-ho on having them right now, either. But if that’s what happens, we can make the best of it.”

  She pulled back so I could see her face. The tears streaming down her cheeks nearly broke me.

  “Whoa, don’t cry, Cora. We’ll get through this. Regardless of what happens, I promise I’ll be right by your side. It’s not like I’m going to be a dead-beat dad or anything.” I tried to joke and lighten the situation to no avail.

  “I don’t mean I don’t want kids now. I mean ever.”

  The expression on my face fell, as did my heart. I couldn’t imagine this beautiful creature never bringing life into the world. I’d had dreams about what our children would look like. A boy and a girl. They were amazing in my mind, and there had never been a part of me that hadn’t believed they would be part of our lives in the future.

  My hand brushed her dark hair from her face, and I tucked it behind her ear. “Why?” Thankfully, the word had come out soft and sincere, and not flabbergasted and dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand why a woman wouldn’t desire children, especially not one as smart and beautiful as Cora. Maybe that was my sheltered, conservative upbringing, but I’d take a flogging from any feminist for believing it.

  “My career after college is my focus. I want to enjoy being married and not have to worry about a little human who needs constant attention. I’m selfish. I’m not interested in sharing my time with anyone other than you.”

  I stared at her in disbelief. One part of my heart soared thinking she refused to take time away from me, while the other crashed in destruction thinking we wouldn’t have a family outside of the two of us. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks—if she were pregnant, and she didn’t want kids, that would either mean abortion or adoption. Neither of which I could handle.

  She shook her head and closed her eyes. “No child deserves to be an orphan, James. I refuse to ever let my children go through that.”

  And there was the ugly, bitter truth. Her selfishness derived from the loss of the two people she’d loved the most and lost. Her heartache our junior year had been palpable. I’d never met them, yet they’d changed my life by giving me Cora, who I never would have encountered had they not passed away.

  Cradling her face in my hands, I softly kissed her lips. “Sweetheart, that isn’t likely to happen.”

  “It could. And I refuse to chance it. There’s nothing you can say to change my mind on the subject. I just hope it’s not a deal breaker for you.”

  Now wasn’t the time to discuss whether or not this was a defining moment in our relationship. I would never leave Cora; we could always get a dog. “Maybe we should just get a test instead of worrying about something that might not be a looming threat.”

  She was normally the rational one. Finding myself in the situation to keep her calm was oddly rewarding given the circumstances. I relished the chances she gave me to be her knight in crumpled tinfoil.

  After an hour of back and forth about her not being ready to find out if we’d completely derailed our lives, she finally conceded. I trudged down to the drugstore and left her at home nearly comatose. Maybe it was the shock of the possibility, but she wasn’t in the state of mind to go out in public.

  When I came back into our bedroom, I found the love of my life curled up in a ball on our bed, covered by her favorite blanket. Her bloodshot eyes had dried, and the tears no longer lingered, yet the pain in her features had me praying this was a false alarm. I knew in my heart I could never pick between my child and Cora, and if she took that decision away from me, I’d never forgive her.

  “Come on.” I held my hand out to her. I couldn’t let her do this alone. I didn’t care how awkward it would be with me watching her pee on a stick. I’d hold it between her legs if that was the level of support she needed.

  My heart pounded, and the rest of the world was mute. The air around us became a vacuum that sucked up everything other than the stress of what we were about to do. She followed me into the bathroom, and I shut the door behind her. The crinkle of the plastic bag bounced off the walls. I could hear each breath the two of us took—they were ragged and labored. Once I had the box open, I handed her the test and read the instructions out loud. Before I could turn around, she had already peed on the stick and pulled her pants up. She handed it to me, I capped it, and then she tucked her tiny frame into my side for protection. Even though I didn’t have any control over what showed up in that window, she found comfort in my embrace, and I willingly gave it to her.

  I watched intently as the color crept up beneath the plastic, while Cora had closed her eyes and buried her face in my chest. It seemed I held my breath through the wait, and then I kept waiting and waiting. The second line never came. Glancing at my watch, I realized we’d been standing here for six minutes, and the test took three. We’d dodged the bullet, but now there was a bigger issue that hung in the air. And it wasn’t one I was sure I could let go.

  Time and distance from what could have been a life-altering mistake seemed to ease the confusion over children. At twenty years old, I wasn’t interested in considering kids, and I honestly believed—when we graduated, had careers, were married and settled—Cora would change her mind. We didn’t discuss it again, and subconsciously, I thought that was intentional on both our parts.

  ***

  “Hey, Carp. That was a great game.” Tiffany was a cheerleader I’d tried my best to avoid. She was a nice girl, except ever since she’d broken up with her boyfriend, Todd—also our team captain—she’d been making a play for me.

  “Thanks.” I tried to shake it off and keep moving toward the locker room. I wasn’t comfortable with her forwardness, especially when Cora wasn’t nearby. She was like my wingman, and everyone on campus knew we were a package deal…including Tiffany. That in itself pissed me off. There was nothing I found less attractive than a woman who went after a man in a relationship with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I thought men who did the same were equally repulsive.

  “A bunch of us are going to The Grid in a bit…you coming?”

  I swore she knew Cora wasn’t here. She always walked a fine line, but anytime she got near me and I was alone, she pushed far harder than friendly flirting. I politely declined the invitation, and just as the words had left my mouth, Coach congratulated me on the game. My face lit up at his praise, and I stuck my hand out to grasp his. The moment I extended my arm, Tiffany took the opportunity to steal an embrace, and the courtside photographer got the shot that would send my world into a tailspin with Cora.

  The next morning when the student paper came out, there it was on the front page. I cringed at the sight. There was no way I could keep Cora from getting her hands on it. I suddenly felt empathy for all those celebrities who appeared to be in compromising positions with people other than their partners. I hadn’t done anything wrong—in fact, I’d done everything right. But it sure as hell didn’t look like it from the likes of that image. Tiffany was tucked into my side, the way Cora always was, and even though the smile on my face didn’t have anything to do with the girl on my arm, Coach appeared to be part of the secret the three of us shared.

  I’d managed to make it to my senior year without a scandal or negative press. I hadn’t even so much as had a blip on the public radar. When the team was out doing stuff that made it into the news, I was never involved, and neither was Neil. Sometime during the start of our junior year, he’d met Hannah, and his hea
rt belonged to her. She and Cora became fast friends, and the four of us were always together. We didn’t do the party scene, and for the most part, we were all low-key. Neil and I had to study to maintain our GPA and stay on the team. Several of the other guys were looking at being picked up by the NBA, though neither of us had our sights set on pro ball. I was less than a year away from proposing to Cora and starting our life together…one I’d been waiting for since high school.

  I knew when I saw her face, someone had been so gracious as to provide her with her very own copy of The Daily Tar Heel. She glared at me and turned in the opposite direction. My feet carried me as fast as they could.

  “Cora!” I hollered across the courtyard.

  She heard me, and her pace slowed when her shoulders dropped, yet she didn’t stop or turn around. My long legs took me across the yard, and I caught up to her in a few strides. I swept my arms around her in an embrace from behind, unwilling to let her walk away.

  “Sweetheart, it isn’t what you’re thinking.”

  “Really? So Tiffany McDowell wasn’t wrapped around you at the game last night?”

  I couldn’t help the quirky grin that lifted the corner of my mouth. Nothing riled Cora, ever. Seeing her jealous over Tiffany was cute. Only because she had nothing to be jealous about. I had less interest in anything romantic with Tiffany than I did with Neil—actually, Neil would be preferable.

  “Are you seriously laughing at me, James?”

  “Cora, I have zero interest in other women.”

  She finally relaxed in my arms and turned toward me. Her hands snaked behind my back, and her cheek rested on my chest. “Do you have any idea how bad it looks? I feel like people are laughing at me.”

  “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how you feel. But I tried to tell you about it last night, and you were already asleep. Then you left at the crack of dawn this morning. I didn’t want you to be blindsided.”

  “What happened?” Her voice was pitiful spoken against my chest.

  I let out a heavy exhale. Cora had seen Tiffany in action before. I wasn’t the only guy in the locker room she’d done this sort of thing with—I was just the only one with a girlfriend. And even if I hadn’t had one, no one on that team would ever date her. She was off-limits—it was bro-code.