He stood straight and turned me in his arms, pressing my back against the counter. “Cora, she means a lot to Legend. We’re going to have to find a way around your animosity.”
My jaw dropped in shock. I understood where he was coming from, but the woman had basically abandoned me when my parents died after forcing me to move to Florida. He already faced enough with his job and child; adding my drama to the mix wasn’t fair. I was an adult, and he was right…I needed to find a way around my disdain for Gwendolyn.
“I don’t know how to do it. I want to get back to the woman I was a week ago—the fun one you adored.”
“I still adore you. I just hate seeing you so torn.”
“My emotions are all over the place. One part of me is head-over-heels in love with this fantastic child we get to keep. A child I had no desire for until he hung upside down on the monkey bars in the sand giggling. Another part is stuck on the animosity I feel for my grandmother. And then there’s this part I wasn’t expecting at all that wishes I’d met Chelsea, or at the very least, could thank her for that.” I pointed out the window to Legend and tears gathered in my eyes.
“She must have been a great mom.”
“Right? He’s the poster child for perfect kids.” I swallowed hard before continuing. “We have to keep Chelsea alive in his memories, James. She promised him we would love him, and it’s our duty to remind him daily how much he loves her so his memories don’t fade. My grandparents never did that for me—”
“I’m glad I found you both together,” Brock’s voice boomed from the other side of the kitchen, interrupting our conversation. “I wanted to talk to you about a proposition I have.”
James groaned behind me. “This ought to be interesting.”
I smacked him playfully, wondering why he didn’t think he should be making the same effort to build bridges with his parents when I had to make concessions. If Legend was our priority, then that not only left me finding a way to close gaps—James had to as well.
“Hey, Brock. What’s up?”
He took a stool in front of us, and for some reason, the large kitchen seemed to dwarf him where he was normally a captivating, or even intimidating, part of a room. I’d grown to really like both of James’s parents in the week or so we’d been here—time had softened them greatly.
“I understand the two of you haven’t made any final plans about whether you’re going to stay in Geneva Key or go back to New York, but I wanted to offer you a job, James. I don’t need you to give me an answer today; just be aware that the offer is on the table, so that it’s not a consideration in your choice to stay in New York or move back to Florida.” He sat there smiling as though he were proud to be able to provide his son a viable solution, not as though he held something over our heads.
James’s silence indicated he was equally dumbfounded. Their relationship had grown leaps and bounds in the last few years, but neither of us expected this. While we hadn’t figured out the best plan, having one major problem solved, if we chose to stay, was monumental.
“Thanks, Dad. I’m kind of speechless at the moment.”
“If you stay in Geneva Key, your mother and I want to do everything we can to make the transition easier. Employment is hard to come by here—at least anything you could live on—and you don’t need to face that burden. You could live off your trust fund while you work things out, but based on how infrequently you’ve made any withdrawals, I assume you won’t do that. And I don’t think you should—a man should provide for his family. The two of you need to do what’s best for you and not be forced into either place.” He smacked his hands on his thighs just before he stood. “Just something to think about.” And he turned and left as quickly as he’d joined us.
“That was unexpected,” James said to no one in particular.
“Your parents are really trying.”
If I planned to make the most of the opportunity for healing, that didn’t just mean becoming friends with the Carpenters or accepting Legend—that also meant making peace with Gwendolyn and my past.
***
“Daddy, can we have a slumber party tonight?” Legend lay on a towel in the sun with his hands behind his head and his feet kicked out.
Other than his jabbering, the rest of us had been rather quiet. I was sure Gwendolyn and Susan were worn out having spent the day playing on the beach with a rambunctious boy, and I was just lost in my thoughts. I didn’t have a clue what to say when my grandmother was around, and I didn’t care to chance things erupting into an argument if one of us said something the other took offense to. Legend loved her, and I wouldn’t do anything to tarnish that. Although, I had to admit, it was taking a toll on me and bringing me down. I wasn’t the type to hold a grudge—or at least I never thought I was. I’d also never been put in the position I was in with Gwendolyn. In the long run, this emotional back and forth would do nothing other than hurt the people I loved.
“What do you think, Cora? Should we let the little monster crash the Carpenter pad?”
“I’m not a monster. I’m a superhero.” Legend stood and flexed his muscles to show us his power.
I reached out and tickled his sides, turning him back to the giggly mush he normally was. “I think that would be wonderful.” And then I realized, we hadn’t mentioned it to Gwendolyn—just before it dawned on me, we didn’t have to. James had custody and was Legend’s legal guardian, not to mention, father. Yet out of courtesy, I asked, “Would that be okay with you, Gwendolyn?”
She seemed as surprised by my request as I was, but James offered me a gentle smile, knowing how hard it was for me to ask her for anything, let alone permission.
“I’m sure he’d love that.” A tear glistened in her eye, and she turned away to remove the evidence before it fell.
“You hear that, buddy? You get to spend the night with us. What do you want to do?”
“Can we play hide-and-seek? I bet there’s a ton of places to hide in that big house. Oh, can we get pizza? Dottie doesn’t like pizza, and we haven’t had it since my mama got sick. Or maybe ice cream for dinner? That would be cool.”
“How about pizza for dinner and ice cream for dessert?” James tried to negotiate. Legend hadn’t figured it out yet, but if he put up any sort of fight, James would concede.
“Hide-and-seek?” The kid was smart. He aimed to get everything he was after.
“Of course,” James agreed.
“Can we go now? Dottie’s baked like chicken and tough like a shoe. She needs a nap because she’s old, too.”
I couldn’t stop my laughter. “You’re just like your dad. I think you got a few similes mixed up.”
He didn’t have a clue what a simile was, but he beamed at being compared to his father. And I couldn’t stop giggling at this little version of my husband. They looked nothing alike, but even at five, I saw so many of James’s traits in him. The way he laughed, the way he thought, the way he pulled his hair when he was frustrated—it was like a miniature replica of the man I loved, and for the first time in my life, I wondered what our children would have been like.
“Why don’t I run home and pack a bag for you?”
“Thanks, Dottie. That would be great.” James grabbed Legend and ran toward the water with him under his arm like a football.
Gwendolyn gathered her things and shook out her towel. I’d noticed the more time we spent with Legend, the more subdued she became. And as she said goodbye with a promise to return with clothes for Legend after showering, it dawned on me what all she would lose if we took him to New York.
“Do you need help?” My offer came out before I could stop it.
“Thank you. I can manage. I’ll see you both in a little while.” She waved at me and then to Susan before walking up the boardwalk to her car.
Any thoughts I had earlier about the possibility of wanting children were squashed by the end of the night. I was too old to chase multiple kids around an enormous house. By the time we finally got Legend to sleep,
I was exhausted, and James could barely move. Legend had so much energy even after being zapped by the sun for hours.
When I finally dropped my weary body onto the bed next to James, I didn’t think I’d be able to keep my eyes open for five more minutes. “It’s a good thing we don’t have more kids. I don’t have a clue how people do this.”
I crawled under the covers with my husband. No matter what the day brought or how it ended, this was my favorite place to be—in his arms. It soothed any ailment and fought back demons. James had been my haven since the day we met. He kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes. Although, it seemed as soon as I’d drifted off, I woke to frantic cries from the room next door.
Without thought, I threw the blankets back and dashed into the hall, never waking James. Bursting through Legend’s door, I found him in a ball in the middle of the queen-sized bed. I couldn’t understand anything he said over the crying, but whatever it was had destroyed him. He trembled when I turned the bedside lamp on, and the instant I sat on the mattress to pull him into my arms, my shorts were wet, and it only got worse when he made his way to my lap. Legend had wet the bed, though I wasn’t sure he even realized it at this point.
It seemed more important to calm whatever had him upset than to change either of our clothes. So I rocked him in my arms and tried to quiet him with my touch before bothering him with my words.
“Did you have a bad dream?” I asked in a hushed voice after the tears eased up.
He nodded his little, red head against my chest and clung to my arm.
“Do you want to talk about it?” When he didn’t answer, I kept talking. “I used to have really bad dreams after my parents passed away. They would keep me up for hours, but there was never anyone around to hold me or tell me it would be okay.”
“I miss my mama,” he whimpered.
I still missed mine every day, and she’d been gone for almost half my life, but I couldn’t lie to him and tell him that would stop. It wouldn’t—ever. Instead, I offered him the only truth I had. “I know you do, and you always will. I promise it will get easier. And you have your daddy now. And me. And I promise, we both love you very much.” My hand stroked his hair absentmindedly, although I thought it comforted me as much as it did him. “Can I tell you what I miss most about my parents?”
He finally released the death grip he had on me and pulled back to see my face. “What?”
“My mom’s hugs and the way my dad smelled. She gave the best hugs, and he always smelled like spice.” My meek smile told him of the pain that still lingered from my loss, even if he couldn’t verbalize what he saw—he grasped that I understood. “You give hugs just like my mom did.”
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
“What do you miss most about your mama, Legend?” This was the start to never letting him forget.
He thought for a minute and when he finally answered, he said, “Her telling me she loves me. I want to tell her one more time—just to make sure she really knows until I see her again.”
“You know you can talk to her? She can hear you as long as you carry her in your heart. And you can tell her every day how much you love her, and when you do, you’ll feel it right here”—I pointed to his chest—“when she responds.”
“Do you still talk to your mama?”
“Every single day.” Not out loud but in my thoughts. Her and my dad. It kept them both close to me. “And you should, too.” I gave him another squeeze. “How do you feel about a bath?” I didn’t care to draw attention to his accident, but I needed to get him cleaned up.
“Will you make it really warm? And add bubbles?”
“I’ll see what I can do. Come on.” Susan and Brock didn’t have bubble bath in the guest bathroom, but they did have shampoo, and I might have poured copious amounts of it under the faucet to give Legend a foam-filled tub.
I wasn’t sure what the protocol was for little boys being naked in front of their stepmothers, but when I tried to give him privacy, he used my shoulder to steady himself while he pulled his wet pajamas off. Once I had him into the water, I asked, “You okay in here for a few minutes while I go clean up?”
“You’re not supposed to leave kids alone in a bathtub. I could drown in an inch of water.” He stared at me with innocent eyes just before he started laughing.
I exhaled loudly and shook my finger at him. “You think you’re funny. I’ll be back to check on you in just a few minutes. Keep your head out of the bubbles until then.” I winked at him and left the bathroom door open, so I could see him while I stripped the sheets from the bed and grabbed a change of clothes for him. Without waking up the entire house, I couldn’t find another set of linens to put on the mattress, so I grabbed a blanket from my room and quickly changed my own clothes while Legend dried off.
When he finally got back in bed, I pulled the covers up to his chin and kissed his forehead. I’d left the light on beside the bed in case he got scared. His little hand wrapped around my wrist, and I met his sweet, brown eyes.
“Cora, will you stay with me?”
I ruffled his hair and gave him a smirk. “Of course. Scoot over.”
And that’s where James found me the next morning, with Legend wrapped in my arms and owning my heart.
18
Cora
“How are things going?” I hadn’t had much time to talk to Hannah since we’d left New York, and I missed my best friend.
“Status quo. The real question is how are you holding up?” The concern was evident in Hannah’s tone.
“Honestly, I’m struggling, but not with what you’d expect.”
“Oh yeah? Insta-mom has been a walk in the park?” She giggled.
“Hannah, he’s awesome. You’re going to love him. He looks nothing like James, but it’s uncanny how similar the two are. I’m completely gone for him.”
“Then what’s the problem, are you jealous?”
“Of what?” I’d just told her how much I adored Legend. There was no reason to think I’d be jealous of his relationship with his dad.
“The other woman,” she whispered as if Chelsea were a secret.
“You are aware she passed away, right?”
“Yeah, but she still had your husband’s child. And I remember how you felt about her when you were in France. This has to be like a giant slap in the face—her parting gift to you.”
“Oh God, no, Hannah. Not at all. Actually, quite the opposite. I think my jealousy over her relationship with James when I was gone was kind of petty. He never even saw her, yet somehow, it equated to more in my mind than it ever actually was. I didn’t comprehend how much James actually told her about our relationship until I met Legend. Chelsea went out of her way to tell her son how much his dad loved me.”
“I’d be jealous.”
“No, you wouldn’t.” I dismissed her comment and waved my hand in front of me like she could actually see it through the phone. “I’m sure it’s hard to imagine finding out your husband has a child, and I admit, I was shocked. And I struggled with my emotions on that issue alone for days—back and forth. Then once I met Legend, I realized what a blessing Chelsea gave to James, and indirectly, me.”
“Then what are you struggling with? If it’s not Legend, and it’s not Chelsea, what does that leave?”
“Dottie. Gwendolyn. Whatever she goes by these days.” Anger seeped through the line, clutching my words until they reached Hannah’s ear.
“I’m lost. Who is that?”
“Dottie is the woman who has taken care of Legend until we got here. Gwendolyn is my grandmother.” That was clear as mud. Even speaking about it brought out a side of me I didn’t like.
“And they’re connected, how?”
“They’re one and the same.”
“But you were never close to your grandmother, right?”
“Never. Yet she’s this amazing, doting, caring figure in Legend’s life. And while I appreciate what she’s done for James’s son, I resen
t her for not doing the same when I lost my parents.”
“I thought Geneva Key was like the Beverly Hills of Florida; how did this twisted situation become your life?”
“Good question. I don’t have answers. Every time I get close to getting any, my anger and resentment rear their ugly heads, and I ruin any attempt I make to talk to her.”
“If she’s this close to Legend, you have to fix it, Cora. That’s not fair to him. Or James. And it’s really unlike you. I could totally understand having resentment toward the woman who’d kept a child a secret for years, or even James indirectly. The only people you’re hurting by not resolving whatever it is that’s going on in your head, are you and Legend.”
Hannah was right. I knew she was right. And somehow, I had to rectify, or at least minimize, the destruction my animosity created. The two of us talked for an hour about nothing—it was one of the things I loved most about her. She had an uncanny ability to sweep my thoughts from anything important and bring me back to a happy place. I hated not having her around and wondered how hard it would be if we made Geneva Key home again.
We’d spent the better part of the two weeks getting to know Legend. I never imagined James would be great with kids, and I surprised myself with how easily I’d fallen for him. Something clicked between us that night he’d woken up from a bad dream. Maybe it was that we both shared something most kids never experience, or maybe he was just easy to love—either way, he’d captured my heart, and now I had to make things right. For Legend’s sake.
I hadn’t called. Legend was with James, and I hoped Gwendolyn was home. I hesitated—feeling like an intruder—the brass knocker was the only thing I recognized. The weathered C had been on their front door at the beach house when I was in high school. I should have noticed it no longer adorned the beach house when I’d rapped on a stranger’s door—somehow, I hadn’t missed it then, yet I recognized it now. It made a rich thud with each bang I gave it, and after three, I stopped to wait.
My weight shifted from side to side, foot to foot. I didn’t often get nervous, but whatever happened today would not only define my life, it would direct the path of James’s and Legend’s as well. I hadn’t comprehended what a burden I’d carried until we came back to Geneva Key. And now, being here, with her, brought all of that resentment and anger to the surface. No matter how hard I tried, I hadn’t been able to let it go.
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