When the door finally cracked open, I was met by a face I wanted to love but couldn’t figure out how.
“I had hoped you’d come by at some point. Please, come in.” She ushered me through and straight into her home. “Is everything all right with Legend?” Gwendolyn asked as she pointed me toward the couch.
“Oh yeah, he’s fine. He and James went to the park.”
“Would you like some coffee?”
Coffee indicated I’d be here a while. It would also give me something to do besides fidget with my hands and pick at my fingers. “That would be nice, thank you.”
She made her way to the kitchen, leaving me on the couch. “Your father was a big coffee drinker, although, I don’t recall your mother ever liking it much.”
I smiled at the memory. My love of the drink had indeed come from my dad. “She didn’t care for it, but I used to steal sips of his when he wasn’t looking.” It had slipped out before I realized I was being civil.
“Are you hungry? I have some muffins.”
“No, thank you. Coffee is good.”
She returned to the living room and sat in the chair facing me on the couch. Her long, slender fingers rested in her lap, and her eyes sparkled when she looked at me. “You look just like them both. A perfect mixture of their best qualities.”
I’d heard that all my life, and it was true. “Thank you. They were amazing people.”
“That they were. Your father loved your mother very much.”
I didn’t think I could handle the niceties for long. I was well aware of how great my parents were; I lived with them. I’d spent seventeen years with them that she hadn’t been a part of so I didn’t need her to preach to me about their greatness.
“I don’t mean to be impolite, Gwendolyn, or ungrateful, because I can’t tell you how much it means to James that you were there for Legend, but what happened?”
“Cora, there’s a lot of years to account for—most of which no longer matter.”
“Don’t do that. Please. It took a lot for me to come here, and I need to make this work for Legend. If we’re going to make peace, you’re going to have to be honest with me. What was so wrong with me that you didn’t love me the way you do him? What made Chelsea so special that when she needed a home, yours was available, yet you left me isolated after my parents died? I just need the truth, Gwendolyn.”
“I can give you my version…although, I think it will raise more questions than it will answer.”
Losing my patience wasn’t going to get us anywhere. “I need you to give me something, please.”
“Okay. Would you like me to start from the beginning?”
“Sure.” I didn’t care where she started.
She held up a finger and went to the kitchen when the timer for the coffee went off. A few minutes later, she returned with two mugs, creamer and sugar, and a carafe. I imagined if she brought the whole pot, she intended to be here a while. When she finished making a cup, she leaned back in the chair, and I felt like I was listening to Sophia from The Golden Girls tell me a story about Sicily.
“I wasn’t a very good mother to Joey. I tried. I meant well. It was just a different time, and I allowed my life to be dictated by your grandfather. Don’t get me wrong—he wasn’t a bad person; he just had an image to uphold, and certain things were expected of him being a Chase. The name comes with a lot of responsibility, Cora.”
I rolled my eyes, having heard this same song and dance from my father. Not because he believed it, but rather because my grandparents had.
“Even when I was home—which wasn’t a lot due to my obligations to charities and women’s organizations—I wasn’t very present in your dad’s life. We had nannies who did the things mothers should. I didn’t know any different—it’s all I witnessed growing up. And by the time your dad graduated, we didn’t have the type of bond that kept him coming home every chance he got. And that was my fault, not his.”
So far, I hadn’t learned anything I wasn’t already aware of. “So why not fix it?”
“I didn’t think much about it when he was in college. Your grandfather convinced me it was all part and parcel for a man when leaving the nest. He didn’t need his mother coddling him. After graduation, I tried to reconnect with him. We still spent some holidays together. By that point, he and your mother were close to marriage and split their free time between her family and ours.”
She broke to take a sip of her coffee.
“Your mother was brilliant, smart as a whip. There was no doubt she’d go far; I just didn’t realize they’d end up in New York. Not that any of that mattered. I had a hard time trying to connect when they were so far away, and your grandfather thought I was coddling Joey by attempting to strengthen the tie. ‘Cut the cord, Gwynnie.’ I can’t tell you how many times I heard that from Owen.” She seemed lost in a time she hadn’t thought about in ages.
I just stared at her, waiting for her to get to the point.
“It’s hard to start being a mother when your son is in his twenties, Cora. And while your dad was never unkind, it was clear that he’d started his own life, one I wasn’t an important part of. I kept trying. I called, sent cards, presents. At first, they were received and reciprocated. It wasn’t until your mom found out she was pregnant with you that so much changed.”
And there it was. My mother and I were the reason for the separation from her son. At least the final separation. “I just don’t understand. If you longed for this relationship with him, then why didn’t you try to have it with me when you had the chance?”
“I had made commitments I believed I couldn’t get out of that coincided with your parents’ death. Plain and simple, I made the wrong choice. At the time, I was heavily involved in the Huntington Foundation, and Chelsea’s mom, Janie, was already showing symptoms. I didn’t know how to be there for you without letting someone I’d loved like my own down.”
“But I was your own.”
“In a lot of ways, so was she. Cora, I admit I didn’t handle things properly. I made mistakes. But it was never because I didn’t love you—”
“No. Just that you loved someone else more.” I set my cup on the coffee table. “I shouldn’t have come here. I don’t know what I had hoped to resolve.” My voice remained calm and steady. If I stayed any longer, my emotions would get the best of me, and I wouldn’t be able to restrain myself.
She leaned forward and put her hand on mine. “Please don’t go. I can’t take any of it back, although I desperately hope to fix whatever we have going forward.”
I looked at the pictures she had around the house. It was hard not to notice that the few of my dad stopped in his late teens, and there were more of Legend—and the girl I assumed was Chelsea—than anyone else, including my grandfather. There wasn’t a single one of me.
“It’s like he ceased to exist in your world when he left Geneva Key. Funny how that happens, huh?” My heart tore in two at the thought of my dad experiencing this same pain with her. I’d never had anything other than loving parents, and having an absent grandparent was completely different than it being my mom or dad.
My grandmother had begun to cry, but her tears were meaningless. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. With my fingers wrapped around the handle, I turned to face her again. “I deserved better, Gwendolyn.”
And as I slammed the door behind me, I heard her say, “So did they.”
***
I made it to the end of the driveway before curiosity got the better of me. I shouldn’t care what she’d meant by so did they, yet each step I took got harder as the sentiment echoed in my mind. I stopped and stared at the sky, cursing God for giving me a heart that made me unable to let those three words go.
“Ugh,” I groaned to no one. Nothing she could say would change anything. Still, for some reason, I couldn’t walk away. It was like not picking up the next book after a major cliffhanger. I had to have the truth, even if the ending sucked.
My shoulders droppe
d in defeat, and I pivoted on the ball of my foot to head back to my grandmother’s porch. Each time I lifted my foot, taking me closer to her front door, I cringed inside.
“Get the information. In and out. You don’t have to make friends with her or even peace. Just find out her side and go.” Talking to myself in my head was one thing; doing it out loud took my irritation to a whole new level. I sounded like an idiot having a conversation with no one around. Thankfully, there were no witnesses.
I took a deep breath and clanged the brass C before Gwendolyn answered again. I hated eating crow, it was sinewy and tough to swallow. Just as I was about to turn around and give up, she answered with a gracious smile on her face. There wasn’t a hint of “I told you so” to be found. In fact, she looked relieved that I’d returned.
“What was that supposed to mean?” I quipped.
“Cora, this isn’t a conversation for all of Geneva Key to take part in. You’ll need to come inside.”
I huffed before following her back to the seat I’d just vacated on her couch.
“I think it might be best if I just get to the heart of where the problems started. I need you to promise you’ll stick this out and not walk off. There’s too much history at stake for you not to hear it all. And a lot of it I didn’t know until you and James arrived here.”
“Fine.” I had to drop the attitude and the wall. If my mind weren’t open to what she had to say, I wouldn’t hear or retain any of it. I’d be thinking of ways to retort instead of listening to the things that came out of her mouth.
She took a deep breath and let it out. “I met Janie after your father asked me to go speak with her.”
“Janie? As in Chelsea’s mother?” I really was confused.
“Yes. Every Chase signs iron-clad prenuptial agreements—well, prior to you, however, that’s neither here nor there.”
“What does that have to do with Janie?”
“Your father violated the agreement between himself and your mother with her.”
My brows dipped. I wasn’t sure I heard what she insinuated.
“Joey made mistakes. He traveled a lot, and unfortunately, never hearing the word no and always getting everything he wanted in life without consequences didn’t set him up to turn down things he was after as an adult. Including another woman.”
I cocked my head to the side, now wide-eyed as a thousand thoughts ran through my head. And I remained quiet.
She closed her eyes, and it appeared to hurt her to tell me whatever was on the tip of her tongue as much as it was going to pain me to hear it. Gwendolyn didn’t reopen them when she started speaking, either. Somehow, I sensed she couldn’t bear to see my face.
“Your father adored your mother. And you were less than a year old. That first year of your life was one of the best in mine. You had brought your dad back into my life, and I was determined not to let the opportunity slip away. Nevertheless, it all came crashing down the day he called me about Janie.”
Her lids slowly parted and tears streamed down her cheeks. “He and Janie were pregnant. If your mother found out, she’d leave him and take you. Neither of which he could stomach, nor could I.”
“My dad got another woman pregnant?”
She nodded.
“Did my mom ever find out?” I almost shrieked. My mother and father had the epitome of a perfect marriage. I had always hoped James and mine would be as strong—and they were so similar in my eyes.
I just didn’t realize how similar their stories were.
“Not that I’m aware of.”
My mother lived her entire married life with a man who’d cheated on her, and she’d never found out. That baffled me. However, as quickly as that thought entered my head, it fled to make room for another. I closed my eyes and shook my head, unable to fathom the weight of the reality I was about to acknowledge.
“Chelsea was my half sister?” Jesus, this was like a scene straight out of Deliverance. Not only was Chelsea my sister, she’d had a child with my husband making me her son’s stepmother and aunt. There was nowhere in the world any of this was acceptable.
“Yes. But, Cora, I had no idea James was Legend’s father. In all the years they lived with me, she never shared that piece of information because she knew how much he loved you. I begged her to tell him before he went to Paris, and she refused. James told her he planned to propose to the girl he loved, and that girl didn’t want children.”
“She didn’t tell James because she thought I wouldn’t accept his proposal if he had a child on the way?”
She nodded. “And had she ever said your name, I would have connected the dots. She held those secrets until she died. I didn’t know whose house she worked at that night she met him. The only information I had was that he was in town for a few days and then went back to New York. Sadly, it was like reliving the nightmare I’d endured with your father.”
Nothing she said made any sense. No one could be that selfless—or selfish, I wasn’t sure which. Part of me was grateful I hadn’t known, and part of me was angry as hell that James missed out on five years of his son’s life.
“Was she sick when she got pregnant?”
“Yes. Although, I doubt James even realized it. She had tremors in her hands, and at that point, she wasn’t comfortable driving because every once in a while, she’d get turned around. However, most of her symptoms were easily masked as fatigue or clumsiness. And she wasn’t around James much before he left town. The disease didn’t progress drastically until Legend was about three.”
“How could she have ever thought she could raise a child alone?” The part of me that had been grateful to Chelsea for the gift she’d given us had turned to rage. “I can’t imagine being so selfish knowing she was going to die and that child would have no one.”
“He had me. The same way she always had. And in her eyes, that was a great life.”
“Explain that to me. How did my dad go from knocking up her mom to you being the grandmother to her that you never were to me?”
“Would you like some more coffee, dear?”
I could tell that was her way of trying to rein in the conversation. She offered me a breather in the form of refreshments. My agitation had gotten out of control quickly, and I snapped at her. When in fact, the people I should be mad at were both dead. That word sobered me and calmed my stormy temper. Dead. They weren’t here to defend themselves, and I hadn’t been around when decisions were made. Instead of judging any of them, I needed to try to be compassionate—understanding.
I clenched my jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “Yes, please.”
With a fresh cup of coffee in hand, she finally put some pieces into the puzzle of my father’s messed-up past. “When Joey called me, things had been going so well between us. Owen and I got to see you regularly, and something had finally changed your grandfather’s priorities. He would rearrange his schedule a hundred times to fit in a trip to New York to visit you. If you believe nothing else I say, please trust your grandfather and I tried very hard to keep the relationship up, even though your father wouldn’t have any part of it, and eventually, with enough time, your mother conceded.”
“But why?” It broke my heart to think I’d had the love I’d seen Gwendolyn give to Legend and lost it.
“If your mother had found out Janie was pregnant, she would have been entitled to a large sum of money and likely would have divorced your father. I don’t think he cared about the money, but he was terrified of losing the two of you. Your grandfather, on the other hand, was a different story.”
With every word she spoke, it was as if she were reliving those days. The anguish visibly marked her expressions, and she appeared weary. Suddenly, she seemed older than she had minutes ago, and my heart hurt for her. Each sentence she uttered seeped into my soul, taking root.
“From the moment your dad called, Owen was convinced Janie was after the Chase money. He didn’t believe she hadn’t known Joey was married, even though Joey admitted to havi
ng kept it from her. In your grandfather’s mind—which soon became your father’s belief—Janie had intentionally gotten pregnant to ensure herself a paycheck.”
This was not the man who loved me until I was seventeen. My father had been affectionate and gentle and kind. He was gracious and generous to a fault. Most of all, he cherished my mother.
“Since the two men were such hotheads, I was sent to Chicago to negotiate a deal with Janie.”
“Like hush money?” I was mortified, and my jaw hung loosely in shock and dismay. “Are you kidding me?”
“Cora, sweetheart, one of the things that come with privilege is image. And that was very big to the Chase name and reputation. No Chase man could afford to be associated with infidelity. They’d kept their noses clean for generations, and neither your grandfather nor your father were willing to stake their character on a woman your dad had a fling with.”
“Is that what Janie was? Just a fling?” I agonized for the woman I’d never met. Even if she had been insignificant to my dad, someone paying her off was demoralizing.
“I wasn’t sure until I met her. She cared for your father, although they were never serious. The two of them met up when he was in town. However, once she told him she was pregnant, and he wasn’t interested in the child, she never spoke to him again.”
“He wouldn’t talk to her?”
“She never tried. He assumed she had gotten an attorney, which was why I was brought in. The family needed to settle the matter out of court to keep it out of the papers and off the news. Honestly, I don’t believe she would have ever breathed a word of it to anyone. She refused the settlements I offered her every time I went to Chicago during the pregnancy.”
I shook my head. “She didn’t take a penny?” Here was a woman sitting on a goldmine who was about to be a single parent, and she didn’t take anything.
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