“Not one.”
“And that’s how you got to know her?”
Her head bobbed slowly. “She was a wonderful woman. We became good friends—best friends, even. Nevertheless, your father resented my relationship with her and insisted I cut ties. He was afraid your mother would find out, and he’d lose everything.”
“You wouldn’t do that?” It wasn’t really a question, because I already had the answer.
“Had he made the request before Chelsea had been born, it might have been a possibility. She was my grandchild just as much as you were. And I loved her. It just wasn’t that easy.”
“Then why did you stop seeing me?”
“It wasn’t by choice, Cora. Joey quit answering my calls and found excuses why visits didn’t work with your family’s schedule. And over time, the divide had gotten so great there was no coming back from it. Right or wrong, I devoted my time to the grandchild I could see—the one whose mother welcomed me into their lives. I became very active in the Huntington Foundation because of the two of them, and the rest is history.”
“Did Chelsea know?” I prayed to God she hadn’t known we were related. That would take this whole situation from redneck to weird.
“No, sweetheart. It wasn’t until she had lost the ability to talk that I told her the truth. Her mother had never wanted her to know, and I’d made a promise not to tell her. Although, when I faced Chelsea’s passing away, it didn’t seem right for her not to have her truth.”
“How’d she take it?” I couldn’t imagine finding out who my father was that late in life, much less after he’d passed away. Or knowing I was related to the wife of the father of my child—Jesus, it made my head spin. I had a hard time accepting it, I couldn’t fathom hearing it on my death bed.
“I’m not sure she even understood, Cora. There’s a lot doctors don’t know about Huntingtons. Some believe the cognitive function is still good and the brain works normally, and the body has malfunctioned. While others believe that the brain suffers from something like dementia. Add in that she was young and how quickly the disease progressed, and there’s no telling.”
“So they’re the reason you have devoted all your time to fundraising?”
“Them and hundreds of others I’ve met along the way. There’s no cure, and I’ve lost two people I love to the disease. If I can be part of helping to find a cure, then I will have done something with my life that I’m proud of.”
I stared at the grain in the wood of the coffee table without a clue as to how to process the years of deception my grandmother had unloaded on me. While I was desperate to cling to the anger I’d come in the room holding, all I felt was sadness and remorse. And I wondered how different our worlds would have been had my father let us all be a part of the other’s lives. As much as I wanted to call Gwendolyn a liar, poke holes in her story, and refuse to believe my father had ever been anything different than the man I adored, something told me every bit of it was true.
“Cora…” My name hung in the air, and her tone wasn’t warm.
I shifted my eyes to her and saw something that resembled fear.
“You and James need to have Legend tested.”
***
I wandered aimlessly across the island. Although, the years of blame and weeks of turmoil with Gwendolyn at the forefront subsided. Eventually, I had to end up back at the Carpenters’, nevertheless my mind was a disaster. The farther I walked, the more muddled I became. I’d cried more in the last two hours than I could remember in the last two years. Tears didn’t bring clarity, only a headache.
I couldn’t imagine how I’d tell James that Legend had a fifty percent chance of having Huntingtons, much less suggest having him tested. Moreover, I couldn’t figure out why we would want a death sentence for a child we’d just met. If there wasn’t a cure, then why live with that looming overhead. It made no sense to me, but it wasn’t my choice to make. Legend wasn’t my son—not biologically anyway. James and Gwendolyn would need to be the ones to make that decision. I didn’t envy either in that choice and wished I could fix it with a hug, since that was about all I had to offer.
When the sun started to set, and I had no clearer understanding of anything I’d learned, I finally made my way up the beach and inside.
“Cora, where have you been? I’ve been worried sick. I tried calling your cell, but you left it here.” Panic laced James’s voice. And once he pulled me into the light and saw my puffy eyes, red from crying, he grabbed my cheeks. “Baby, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”
I was lost about where to start or how to unravel the tale I’d been told. There were too many moving pieces and parts I wasn’t familiar with to paint an accurate picture. While rationally, I should have been more careful with my word choice, what flew out at the moment was less than eloquent.
“Gwendolyn thinks you need to have Legend tested.”
His face contorted with confusion. “Tested? For what? He seems healthy as a horse.”
“Huntingtons. It’s hereditary.” And just like that, the cat was out of the bag, and the weight began to lift from my shoulders. It wasn’t fair to James, yet anytime I needed to unload, he’d always helped me carry my burden—this was no different.
“W-what?”
I nodded.
“Like what are the chances he has it?”
“Fifty-fifty.” And I broke down in tears again. I’d done nothing other than cry since I’d left my grandmother’s house.
“There’s no way it’s that high,” he said in disbelief.
“My grandmother is as close to an expert on the disease as one can get without being a doctor. And that’s what she told me.” I’d learned far more than I’d ever cared to about what had taken Legend’s mother—my sister—so early in life. It was easy to see how she’d become completely engrossed in the charity. Just the idea that Legend might be afflicted made me want to join her plight.
“What else did she tell you? Have you been there all day?”
“Pretty much. Although, you probably should to sit down to hear all I have to say. Where’s Legend?”
“My mom is putting him to bed. He was worn out from an afternoon in the sun. I swear I don’t know where he gets all that energy from.”
“Oh, he’s staying tonight?”
“Is that a problem?”
“No.” I smiled through my tears and touched his arm. “It’s perfect.” And somehow it was. That little boy was a piece of my husband and the sister I’d never met, and I refused to ever let him go.
When I finished telling James everything Gwendolyn had imparted on me, he struggled to comfort me while appreciating all she’d done for Chelsea, and in turn, Legend. I didn’t have it in me to be jealous that she’d been there for the Airys. The truth was, had Chelsea told James about the baby, I wasn’t sure I would have said yes when he proposed, and our lives would have been much more complicated. I hesitated to admit she’d done us a favor by not involving herself in our relationship, because that made me selfish as hell, however, I couldn’t deny that thought or the truth in the reality.
“James, I don’t think we can leave Geneva Key.”
“You hate it here.”
“I hated it for reasons that didn’t really exist…at least not in the light I thought they had. I don’t want to look back and have regrets. There’s still time to get close to Gwendolyn, and Legend needs her. She’s the only connection he has to his mom. I need her to help me to help him remember her—share things with him to keep Chelsea’s memory alive.”
“So you think we should what? Sell our house? What about the business in New York?”
“I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have any of the answers, nonetheless, I think with a decision, the rest will fall into place.” We had long since moved to the couch, and sitting in the moonlight, I rested my hand on his forearm. “Legend should be in Geneva Key—where we have a support system, and so does he.”
“You’re sure about this?”
; “Your dad already said he had a job for you. We have a place to stay until our house sells. The only detail to iron out is Neil. So yeah, I’m sure.”
“Then I guess we need to talk to my parents, get Neil’s input, and do what’s necessary to take custody of Legend. I hate bouncing him around. He needs a home—whether that’s in this house, one of our own, or New York. He needs to feel secure.”
There was a long stretch of silence while the two of us pondered what lay ahead.
James kissed my temple and whispered into my ear, “I knew you’d find your way.” My husband wasn’t referring to clarity; he’d waited for me to shed the weight of anger to find the path we needed to walk as a family of three instead of two.
We talked late into the night, and when we finally went to bed, we’d made a decision not to have Legend tested along with having ironed out aspects of our lives that didn’t exist on this island. I felt more confident than I had since James had shown me the letter from Clary, White, & Boyd. It would take getting used to, but both of us were about to have something we’d never dreamed of.
A family.
19
Cora
“So your father was Chelsea’s dad, but she never met him, which makes you Legend’s aunt and stepmother? And Gwendolyn, or Dottie, is not only your grandmother; she’s my son’s great-grandmother? For a Chase, that sounds awfully reprehensible and totally preposterous—not to mention, a tad trashy.”
I couldn’t tell if he didn’t buy it or he was so dumbfounded that reality hadn’t quite hit him. So I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, my hip cocked to the side against the dresser, and a death glare on my face while I blinked slowly in his direction. He continued to move about our room getting ready for bed, and still, I said nothing—waiting for it to register. When he finally stopped, presumably because I hadn’t made a peep, I pursed my lips and raised my brow, daring him to make another joke.
“Baby, what do you want me to say?” He patted the mattress next to him, but I remained firmly planted. “I can’t begin to wrap my mind around any of the twisted pieces in the puzzle or how none of the wires ever crossed in thirty-plus years. It’s like a perfectly played game of Operation.”
My arms dropped to my sides, and my fists balled in agitation as I pushed off the dresser. “You don’t even seem to care. Like it’s just another day in Geneva Key.” I threw my hands in the air, exasperated by his indifference.
“That’s not true. I just don’t have a clue what to do with the information. It’s like you found out your entire life was a lie, and the people who could answer questions aren’t around anymore. I know you’re struggling with letting go of the contempt for Gwendolyn, so I’m stuck mentally as to how to give you any advice.”
I finally joined him on the bed and leaned against his shoulder. “That’s not true. I think after everything she told me, that portion of my story doesn’t warrant grasping much less clinging to as the gospel. If everything Gwendolyn says is true, then I haven’t been fair to her. Unfortunately, I’m reluctant to believe what she said about my dad, either. He can’t defend himself; he can’t justify his actions—he was a good man, James. I just can’t make heads or tails out of any of this. And worst of all, my grandmother has taken the fall for so many years, and we now have a son that we will have to explain this mess to.”
He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his arm around my waist. “You know what’s great?”
I shook my head.
“He’s not going to ask anytime soon, and we have time to figure that part out. However, we’re coming down to the wire on making a decision about staying here or going back to New York.”
“I thought we’d made the decision.” I didn’t bother looking up, I just drew circles on his knee with my fingers absentmindedly.
“I wasn’t sure if this stuff with Gwendolyn changed anything for you.”
“If anything, it solidified my resolve to stay.” I pulled back to meet my husband’s gaze. “I’ve wasted a lot of years believing she was something she wasn’t. I get that she still made mistakes, but she’s the only Chase I have left in my life. I think I owe it to her to give her a chance, and maybe the two of us could be friends.”
His brows came together and three little creases formed between them. I loved how he looked when he was thinking about something. “I’m surprised you’re not more upset than this.”
“I was.” My shoulders rose in a half-hearted shrug. “But all the tears I cried didn’t change my past or Chelsea’s or Legend’s…or even Gwendolyn’s. And no matter how far I walked, the only solution I came up with was giving her the chance to prove my dad wrong.”
“Never in a million years did I envision our life this way.” He fell to the mattress on his back with his arms spread out.
I followed suit and then curled onto my side with his forearm under my neck. “You and me both. If it’s the hand we have to play, might as well go for broke.”
“That’s entirely possibly moving to Geneva Key, but I’m all in.” He winked at me and chuckled.
It was a scary truth. We had a house to sell and a business to deal with. Not to mention, our two best friends lived in New York and had followed us there. I dreaded telling Hannah we weren’t coming back to live.
“Have you thought about what you’re going to tell Neil?”
He turned to me, straight-faced, and said, “I assumed you’d tell Hannah, and she could break it to Neil.” The humor danced in his eyes, and I playfully swatted at his chest.
“So I get to be the bad guy?”
“Girls are way more forgiving.”
“Hardly, they hold a grudge forever. Guys slap each other on the ass and forget what was said in the previous sentence. This one’s on you.”
He sat straight up and leaned over to the nightstand to grab his phone. “No time like the present.”
“You can’t call him now. James, it’s ten thirty at night.”
“Yeah, and he probably just got home from the office.”
“Oh, that makes it so much better. I’m not having any part of this.”
“Where are you going? I thought this was for better or worse? In sickness and in health?” He was incorrigible.
“I’m going to take a shower. You can tell me how things go with Neil when I get out. I’ll call Hannah tomorrow at a respectable time of day.” And I sauntered off to the bathroom, closing the door just as Neil answered.
I couldn’t stand the thought of losing our friends, even if it was just distance—they’d been our family when we thought we had no one else. And now it seemed we were abandoning them. Regardless, no matter how I worked the scenario in my head, doing what was best for Legend remained our greatest responsibility…I just hoped they understood.
I’d have to wait until tomorrow to find out. When I emerged from the shower turned bubble bath, my husband was fast asleep on top of the comforter. It was the only time I usually saw the boy I’d fallen in love with. When his features weren’t marred with stress or the pressure of a day, the years fell away, and the James of our youth was there. And while I wanted to run my thumb over his eyebrow and caress his jaw, I simply kissed his forehead and covered him with a blanket. And silently thanked God for delivering me my own piece of perfection when I’d so desperately needed him.
***
Having joint custody of a young child was exhausting. We weren’t obligated by court order to give Gwendolyn any time, but Legend loved her, and it gave me an excuse to spend time with her out of perceived obligation. I didn’t have to admit I was anxious to get to know her or that I had questions. I didn’t have to tell her I’d done nothing besides think about all the ways I’d missed out over the years. I got to use Legend as an excuse to have lunch with her during an exchange or walk on the beach while he played in the waves, or sit on a park bench when he climbed on a jungle gym like a monkey. And each opportunity opened the door to a relationship I’d never imagined I’d have, much less crave. Day by day, I rea
lized what I would have missed out on had I not given her the chance. And I tried not to dwell on all I’d lost in favor of all I had to gain.
“I’m going to miss you tonight, buddy.” Legend was tall and lanky, much like the pictures I’d seen of James at his age, and he gave the best hugs in the world. “You be good for Dottie tonight, okay?”
He gave me a look to indicate I had nothing to worry about, and it dawned on me, I was acting like a mother. Not just any mother, but Legend’s. I ruffled his sunny, red hair, and then popped him playfully on the bottom as I stood. I handed Gwendolyn his bag as though he was her guest instead of ours, yet she took it graciously and didn’t point out that he had everything he needed at her house.
“You two have fun.”
“Bye, Cora.” He turned to wave over his shoulder, as did Gwendolyn.
I just stood there, wondering why his departure left a gaping hole in my chest. I’d see him the next day—my grandmother, too. His absence suddenly seemed unfamiliar, and I wondered if this was how all mothers felt when their children were away—just before it dawned on me that I wasn’t really his mother.
Although I wanted to be.
I stood on the pier, basking in the sunshine and watched the two of them walk into the distance. When I couldn’t see them anymore, I finally turned around and went home.
“Where have you been?” James’s panicked voice worried me.
“Legend and I had lunch with Gwendolyn, remember?” My brow furrowed, and I wondered how he could’ve forgotten.
“I didn’t think you’d be gone this long. When did you stop carrying your cell phone with you?” He held up the device in question like I was being interrogated.
I shrugged and stepped past him to get water from the kitchen. “When we relocated to an island I can scream across, and I no longer had a job.” I couldn’t fathom what had him in an uproar. Even with the chaos of finding out he had a son, meeting him, and staying at his parents’ house, I hadn’t felt so stress-free in years.
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