Past Heaven

by Laura Ward

  She brought her other hand to her neck. The previous award ceremonies had gone smoothly. We had ignored Madeline at each event. We had even shared a table at the Golden Globes, but had avoided all contact with her. Liz and I had agreed that neither she nor Kylie were worth the hassle. They had hurt Liz and had started all the trouble with the press, but they were out of our lives now.

  I kissed the back of her hand that I held and rubbed her knuckles with my thumb. Then, I pulled her other hand off her neck and pressed my mouth to her skin. She closed her eyes, her body relaxing. “No one will harass you tonight, baby. Trust me, they do not want to piss off a possible Best Actor.” My feet tapped on the floor, and my stomach clenched. I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that I was nominated for a Best Actor award at the motherfucking Oscars.

  Liz opened her eyes and leaned close, kissing me lightly on the lips. Smiling brightly, she took her thumb and rubbed off the lip-gloss she had left behind. “I’m so proud of you.” Liz told me constantly how proud she was of the movie and of my acting. I believed her, but she was biased. Tonight was a nod to my entire career in acting, and I was so freaking excited and honored.

  When our limo pulled up to the red carpet, the door quickly opened and flashes went off. I slipped out of the car and held my hand out for Liz. She looked like a princess in her gown. She hooked her arm in mine and looked up at me with a bright smile and eyes that danced with excitement.

  Fans lined up, calling out our names as we walked the famous red carpet. The tension eased off Liz’s body, and her grip on me loosened. She pulled her shoulders back and walked next to me, full of confidence.

  “Ms. Atwater, Liz.” Liz froze, and I swiveled over to the voice calling out to her. “Who are you wearing? Your dress is fantastic.” I ran a quick hand through my hair, and Liz tipped her chin up and answered, “Versace. What do you think?” She posed for the reporter and flashes went off. Liz was working the red carpet, and I loved watching her do it.

  “I never thought, in my whole life, that I’d answer a question about my clothing with the word Versace. Holy shit, pinch me.” She squealed as I discreetly pinched her ass.

  “Are you nervous?” she whispered in my ear, as we settled in our seats. I nodded with a shrug. “When you’re feeling anxious, just think about the fact that I’m not wearing any panties. That should help.” She smirked at me and rubbed the inside of my thigh. My mouth tilted upwards in a playful grin and my dick instantly hardened.

  “Fuck, Elizabeth, now I’m nervous and interested.” I waggled my eyebrows at her, and she laughed. A moment later, she squeezed my hand as the lights flickered. The show was about to begin.

  Just then Kylie walked past our section. She caught my eye and smiled, but looked at Liz with frigid hatred. Liz remained calm, smiling back and waving. Kylie’s jaw dropped open when she noticed the big ass ring I put on Liz’s finger. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

  “I do love how you handle her.” I kissed Liz’s cheek and settled in to enjoy the show.

  It was almost the end of the night before the Best Actor award was announced. As I waited for our names to be read aloud from the ballot, I wiped my sweaty palms on my pants. I couldn’t help but wonder what Jack would say about all of this. I hoped that he would feel I had done him justice. I heard my name called with the other nominees and then watched the envelope being opened.

  “And the Oscar goes to….Reynolds Carter.”

  Liz screamed and clapped, and I reached over to kiss her before running onto the stage. “Wow! Thank you so much to the Academy for this honor,” I gasped. I was out of breath and having a hard time composing myself. “I have many people to thank in the production of Life Changing, but I’ll do that in private. What I want to do now is ask viewers and audience members to take the message from this movie and not lose it. Jack Atwater was a man just like any of us. What made him special was that he saw a wrong in the world and devoted his life to righting it. There are so many causes to fight for in the world. Just fight.” The applause was deafening as I took my next shaky breath and continued.

  “There is one person I will thank publicly and that is my fiancée, Liz Atwater. Liz, the day I met you and learned your story, you showed me what’s really important in this world. Thank you for being the change I needed in life. I love you.”

  The entire audience erupted in applause and the standing ovation overwhelmed me. I was escorted off stage to give all of the obligatory interviews. I made my way back to Liz as quickly as possible.

  “You did it.” she whispered in my ear and kissed underneath.

  “We did it, Liz.” I held her hand as we left the huge ballroom at the end of the program.

  Everyone was taking our picture and asking questions. This was our night, and we could officially celebrate it together. We were going to the after parties, and this time I would have Liz by my side the entire time. The time had come to celebrate Jack, Liz, Elwood, David, and everyone else who inspired so much good in the world.

  OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM window sat fifty white chairs lined up behind a rose covered trellis. Pink and white roses were abundant and covered every table space possible. My backyard was transformed into a fairy garden. Reynolds was talking to his parents, looking relaxed and confident in a light grey suit. We had decided on a simple wedding at our farm. Close family and friends were the only ones invited. After the ceremony, we would all gather under the tent for dancing and food. This was the perfect day for us.

  I had never envisioned marrying a second time, let alone falling in love again. I didn’t think people got lucky enough in life to love with their whole hearts twice. Looking in the mirror, I radiated the peace and harmony that I had inside. I never believed I would get a second chance at my happy ending. But life showed me that when I thought the darkness had won, the brightest light of all was shining just around the corner. Reynolds was the light of my life. I couldn’t wait to be his wife.

  “YOU MAY NOW kiss the bride.”

  Were there ever sweeter words spoken? I held both of Liz’s hands as I looked at her carefully before kissing her for the first time as my wife. I wanted to memorize everything about this moment. She looked exquisite in a simple white lace dress with her hair down. Anyone around knew just how deeply she was in love.

  The feeling was entirely mutual.

  I took her face in my hands and kissed her tenderly. Watching her walk down the aisle, escorted by her boys, a fullness of love moved me to my core.

  After exchanging vows, we presented each of the boys with a brown leather bracelet. The medallion in the middle had both surnames intertwined. We were now a family. Each boy hugged me when I clasped their bracelet. Griffin was last and whispered, “I love you” in my ear. He had waited until that moment to finally allow himself to love another man besides his father. I would spend the rest of my life cherishing and protecting my sons.

  Our small group of guests cheered and rained rose petals on us as we ran to the tent. I kissed Liz repeatedly, waiting for our guests to join us.

  “I can’t wait to get you all to myself,” I whispered as she clung to me.

  “I’m waiting for you to make good on that promise to ravage me on the beach.” Liz smiled coyly, recalling our conversation in Corolla. We were heading to Bora Bora for two weeks, and I would make sure all my promises were kept.

  We greeted our guests and moved to tables to enjoy dinner. I sat, surrounded by close friends and family, and knew the life I had been given was beyond even my own comprehension. At the appropriate time, I motioned to the band and asked Liz to dance with me. Leaning into the microphone, I explained my choice to our guests. “I chose this song for my bride. I think it says it all.”

  We danced to one of Liz’s favorite songs by Ian Britt, The Shape of Us. The song described a couple who would never have to be alone again. They drew off one another’s strength. Even though their lives had been difficult, they trusted one another and were ready to build a life
as one. It was the consummate message of our love story. We would never let one another go again. We were building a new life—together.

  I twirled Liz over to the boys, and she asked them to join us. I picked up Hayden in one arm and held Liz with my other while she had her arm around Griffin and Grayson. We danced in a small circle.

  As a unit, a family.

  Heartbreak, death, and loss were shared between us, but renewal, commitment, and strength were as well. Liz looked at each of us, her eyes full of tears, and whispered, “This right here is my happiest of endings.”

  I couldn’t have dreamt of a happier one, myself.

  “C’MON. LET’S GO get you changed, you attention whore.” I smacked Liz’s butt as she laughed, and we walked up the stairs to her room, arm in arm.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.” Liz was breathless with laughter.

  “That’s what you’ll be saying in about forty-five minutes when you join the mile high club. Save yourself until then.” Liz and I giggled as she slipped off her stilettos and walked into the bathroom. If my own heart had cracked like I believed it did when Jack had died, then seeing Liz like this sealed it back again. She was healed.

  She was whole.

  I couldn’t contain my happiness for my best friend as I unzipped the back of her wedding gown. Then, I froze. I stopped unzipping, and my smile vanished. The moment hit me like a brick to the chest.

  I remembered everything. I felt like I was right back in her bathroom in the old house. Just the two of us, and I was unzipping the dress she wore when Jack died.

  “Cindy? Are you okay? Is it stuck?” Liz twisted and tried to look behind her.

  I closed my eyes and exhaled. I needed a minute. The memories flooded my mind. The smell of lavender from her shampoo. The pale pink of her nightgown. Her body shaking so much I thought she might break a bone.

  “Cindy? Are you okay?” Liz’s voice sounded panicked, and I snapped out of it.

  “I’m fine. Sit with me for a minute.” I guided us to the velvet bench in her large as hell, deluxe master bathroom.

  Clasping our hands together, I faced her. “I wanted to say one thing before you leave on your honeymoon.” I took a deep breath and tried to organize my scattered thoughts. “The night Jack died I prayed for the first time in my adult life.”

  Liz’s eyes widened at that statement. She was a church goer. I was not. It had always been as simple as that.

  “What did you pray for?”

  “I prayed for a lot of things. You know, the regular stuff that people usually pray for. Then the big guy upstairs and I had a heart to heart. I told him that I wanted you to stay alive. More than just you being okay and a great mom, I wanted you to live.” I smiled, thinking of how all of that had happened for Liz.

  I guessed, I owed God a visit to his house.

  “But what I never thought to pray for was that you’d love another man. I didn’t think it was possible.” Liz’s brow wrinkled in confusion, and I held up my hand. “Not because I thought you shouldn’t, but because I thought you couldn’t. I never knew how strong you were. All these years of friendship, and you continue to teach me. You took a chance with your heart again. I’m so proud of you, my fearless friend.”

  Liz kissed me on the cheek, and I helped her take off her dress and put on her sundress.

  She stopped in front of the bedroom door and held my hand in both of hers. “I’m not fearless. I’m still scared every day. But love is worth the risk. I love you, Cindy, and thank you for keeping me alive.”

  We cried and hugged as Reynolds burst through the door. Pulling away, I gave him my customary swat on the butt as I hurried out the door.

  Walking outside, I looked up into the sky, thinking of all I had learned from Jack, Liz, and Reynolds.

  Not every love story has a happy ending,

  but the great ones, no matter how they end, change your life.

  Love is the only thing more powerful in this world than death.

  Love transcends. And in the end, all any of us can hope for,

  is a love that is past heaven.

  Other Titles by Laura Ward:

  Not Yet

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  Dear Reader,

  Thank you for reading Past Heaven.

  If you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a review!

  Reviews mean so much to a new author.

  THE BIGGEST THANKS go to my amazing husband, Joe, who is my first editor and beta reader. His insight and comments make my books so much stronger. Thank you to my mom, my second beta reader and proofreader, and supporter of my stories from the time they began in elementary school. She has always loved everything I’ve written- even the steamy scenes.

  To my wonderful beta readers: Alexis, Bekky, Christy, Danielle, Lisa, Kelly, Jen, Pam, Payton, Tamara, Tara, and Teri- how can I say thank you enough? Some of you asked me tough questions and some just gave support, but you all listened, encouraged, and lifted me up when I needed it. Special thanks go to Kelsey for answering all my horse related questions. Mom2 and Alexis Durbin, thank you for proofreading for me. Your attention to detail is awesome.

  Thank you to Christine Manzari, who is the most amazing beta reader and proofreader. The time and care you put into the feedback of my books amazes me. Now I’m lucky enough to be able to call you a friend. Everyone needs to read her books- DEVIATION, CONVICTION, and HOOKED you will love them!

  Until writing this book, I never understood the power of an amazing editor. Thank you to Ana Zaun. You taught me more than I can say and made me laugh along the way. Thank you for obsessing and caring as much about these characters as I did.

  Thanks to Sarah Hansen from Okay Creations for the gorgeous book cover, and Julie from JT Formatting for getting me all ready to publish. I appreciate all of your work so very much. Also, I’d like to thank Autumn and Andrea from Wordsmith Publicity for planning my cover reveal and book tour.

  Tamara Debbaut, there aren’t enough words to say how grateful I am. You took a chance on an unknown writer and have helped me almost every day since. Your talent and friendship has surpassed what I ever thought was possible. Someday I will visit you in Italy!

  Finally, to anyone reading this right now- you have made my life-long dream come true. I am a writer, thanks to you.

  LAURA WARD is the author of PAST HEAVEN and the New Adult novel, NOT YET. She lives in Maryland with her loud and very loving three children and husband. Laura married her college sweetheart and is endlessly grateful for the support he has given her through all their years together, and especially toward her goal of writing books. When not picking up toy trucks, driving to lacrosse practice, or checking spelling homework, Laura is writing or reading romance novels.