Ruby Parker Hits the Small Time

by Rowan Coleman

  “I don’t!” I protested, looking at Nydia and wondering exactly why we hadn’t made our exit when we should have, right after my brilliant speech. “I mean, I sometimes talk about it to Nydia because, well, it really can be hard sometimes. I don’t do it to show off. I don’t do it like that!” I looked at Nydia. “Do I?”

  She pursed her lips and looked at the ceiling for a second. “Sometimes, you might come across a bit like that—even if you don’t mean to.” She added on the last bit hurriedly. “I think it’s sort of a defense mechanism.”

  “Nydia, I don’t!” I glanced at Anne-Marie, who was looking decidedly self-righteous.

  “Look,” Nydia said. “All I’m saying, Ruby, is that in a room full of people who’d give their right arm to be doing what you’re doing, moaning because people ask you for your autograph could possibly be considered to be a bit …stuck-up.” Then she gave me a huge grin as if she had just said something completely different.

  “You’re supposed to be on my side,” I said, feeling hurt and confused. “I just stood up for you. Big time!”

  “I know,” Nydia said, crossing the room to where I stood. “And that was really cool. It meant a lot to me, Ruby. It’s just—wouldn’t it be better at school if we could get along with everyone else? I’m tired of being treated like I’m nothing. I just thought that maybe …” Nydia shrugged and trailed off.

  “OK,” I said. “OK, maybe I do come across like that. But what about you, Anne-Marie? What about all the horrible things you’ve said to me and to Nydia? We don’t deserve any of that.” I gestured around at her huge bedroom. “I mean, look at all this! You’ve got everything anyone could want. You don’t even have to try to get what you want; your daddy will just give it to you. You’ve got everything.”

  Anne-Marie shook her head and dropped her chin, mumbling something under her breath.

  “Pardon?” I asked impatiently.

  “No, I haven’t,” Anne-Marie said a little louder. “I haven’t got everything anyone could want. I’ve a big house and lots of things, that’s true. But I’ve got all this instead of the things you have. You were right about my parents. Do you know the last time I saw my mum? February—for forty-two minutes in the Heathrow first-class lounge, in between one flight coming and one going. She gave me a bottle of Ralph Lauren perfume for my birthday. My birthday isn’t until August, but I won’t be seeing her before then, apparently.”

  Nydia and I looked at each other. That was pretty harsh.

  “And my dad is always in LA. I mean, he’s supposed to come back and see me once a month—and he does come back to England—but he’s always out wheeling and dealing and seeing all his contacts and working. I see him for about half an hour a day while he’s here, if I’m lucky, and even then he’s usually on the phone. My parents don’t even see each other. And my brother—well, he’s old enough to be able to get out, and he does. That just leaves me and Pilar alone in this house. And Pilar’s great, but it’s not the same as having a mum to talk to.”

  I thought about the way I used to tell my mum everything and I almost felt sorry for Anne-Marie. It was strange seeing her like this—one minute being her good old evil self, the next looking and acting like, well, a normal girl.

  “But I thought you said you liked it,” I asked the normal-girl version, cautiously. “You said you could do what you want.”

  Anne-Marie sighed. “It’s no fun being able to do what you want when there’s no one around to tell you not to,” she said.

  Nydia sat next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry,” Nydia said. “That must be hard. I don’t know what I’d do without my mum and dad.”

  I sighed. I supposed I knew deep down that Mum and Dad did love me, even if it looked like they really weren’t going to be together anymore. At least I knew if I needed one or both of them, they’d be there for me. If what she said was true, Anne-Marie didn’t have that.

  “I’m sorry too,” I said hesitantly. “Parents are a nightmare, aren’t they? Nydia thinks hers are too lovey-dovey and mine are splitting up.”

  Anne-Marie looked at me. “Oh, I didn’t know, Ruby. That must be tough,” she said with concern. I covered my surprise.

  “It’s all right,” I said. “But, anyway, having stupid parents doesn’t make it OK for you to pick on us, does it? It’s not a good reason. I’ve got stupid parents and you don’t see me going around making you cry …” I looked at Anne-Marie’s tearstained face. “Much. I mean, which Anne-Marie is the real Anne-Marie? The one who goes parading around school like the Queen of Sheba? Or you, like you are now? Nice. Ish.”

  “I don’t know,” Anne-Marie finally said after a long pause. She looked up at Nydia. “Everyone—all the girls, I mean—expects me to be a certain way. Everyone expects me to be funny and the leader. You two—you’re just easy targets, that’s all. And, well, you make it easy. Especially you, Nydia. You never fight back. You’re too nice.”

  Nydia’s eyes widened. “You hate me because I’m too nice?” she asked in disbelief. “Not because I’m fat, or black, or don’t live in a big house like yours. You hate me because I’m nice?” Nydia shook her head. “I don’t understand. Why would anybody hate someone because they’re nice? Are you saying that if I was cruel and a bully like you and your friends that you’d like me? Is that what you’re saying?”

  Anne-Marie shifted uncomfortably on the bed. “I …no …I don’t know, OK? Sometimes you can sort of forget a person has feelings. You sort of forget they’re real, and being mean becomes a habit.” Anne-Marie bit her lip and held out a hand for Nydia to shake. “I’m sorry, Nydia. I really am. I hear myself sometimes and I think, what a nasty cow! And then I realize that it’s me talking. I don’t know how I got to be like that, but I’m sorry. I really am.” Then Anne-Marie looked up at me.

  “And I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you too, Ruby. I suppose that …” She looked down. “I suppose I was jealous of everything you’ve got. I suppose that’s the real reason I haven’t been nice to you. You’ve got this incredible role and all that fame—everything that I want. But you say you don’t know which is the real me? Well, I didn’t know the real you, until tonight. I still don’t, really.”

  I plumped down onto the bed and the three of us sat side by side, looking at our feet.

  “I’m sorry too,” I said after a while, “for calling you all those names. I suppose I don’t really know you properly either.”

  Anne-Marie nodded. “It’s like we haven’t been going to school together at all!”

  We all looked at our feet for a moment longer.

  “So what now?” Nydia asked.

  “Well, I don’t know about you two,” I said, “but I think we should call off the kissing practice.”

  Nydia and Anne-Marie chuckled.

  “Michael’s run a mile anyway,” Nydia said. “You must have scared him off, Ruby!”

  “It doesn’t take much to scare him,” Anne-Marie said ruefully. “He’s not exactly romantic-hero material. I’m thinking of chucking him anyway. He’s nice-looking and everything, but he checks out his reflection more than me.”

  We all chuckled again.

  “Um, I think we should tell you,” Nydia said, “as we’re making a clean start. We made up the bit about getting you an interview for the show. That was a total lie.”

  I rolled my eyes. I’m sure we could have left that detail out and it wouldn’t have mattered.

  “Yeah?” Anne-Marie didn’t seem too surprised. “Oh well. I didn’t really think you had any influence in casting, Ruby. And I was going to tell everyone about your kissing practice at school anyway.”

  I thought about being offended, then decided I couldn’t be bothered.

  “We’re idiots, aren’t we?” I said. “A bunch of stupid girls behaving like morons.”

  “Yeah,” Nydia said.

  “We are,” Anne-Marie agreed. Then she paused as if considering something. “I know,” she said finally. “Let’s send out for pizza and
watch DVDs instead.”

  “Good plan,” Nydia and I said together.

  Anne-Marie smiled. “Hanging out with two losers—I’m never going to live this down!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  And from then on, everything started changing. Remember that down escalator that I kept trying to run up, which never got me anywhere? Well, after that night at Anne-Marie’s house it changed direction. It started going up and up faster and faster—and even if I wanted to, I couldn’t get off.

  There was nothing I could do to change my life back to the way it had always been, and there was nothing I could do to stop it from changing—or to stop me from changing either. There was no way that Mum and Dad were going to fall back in love with each other, even if they both still loved me; I was slowly beginning to see that. And funnily enough, it was because of Anne-Marie. When she talked about her parents, I could see that my dad did love me, even if he couldn’t stay when I asked him. I was still angry with him—still angry that he couldn’t just stay at home and keep things the way they used to be—but I knew he loved me and that I was lucky. Because when the anger and the hurt had died down, he would still love me. I was luckier than Anne-Marie and I was luckier than Naomi, whose letter I still hadn’t answered. Neither one of them knew that they were loved like I did.

  And I was going to kiss Justin, under studio lights, in front of cast and crew, next to a hydrangea, without any practice and without the faintest idea of what I was doing—and there was nothing, nothing I could do about it. I didn’t know what waited for me at the top of those escalators, but I thought it was probably a very, very long drop.

  When I got back from Anne-Marie’s house that night it was way past nine; in fact, it was nearly ten. We’d had a long lecture from Nydia’s dad on the way back in the car for not calling him to pick us up until late. I knew I was going to get another talk from my mum the moment I got in, especially considering the way we had parted earlier in the evening. And I was right, except it wasn’t about being late.

  Mum was standing at the bottom of the stairs when I opened the front door. I wasn’t sure if she’d just been passing by or if she’d actually been standing there waiting for me to open it. She crossed her arms and pressed her lips together.

  “Sorry I’m late,” I said quickly. “We got talking and …”

  “I’ve just spoken to Nydia’s dad, Rube, so I don’t need to hear it.”

  I shrugged and took off my coat. “OK, I’m sorry. But this girl Anne-Marie, she’s got about three hundred DVDs and we were watching this really good film and I forgot what time it was …” That was more or less true. I decided to skip the part about me, Nydia, and Anne-Marie screaming and shouting at one another before we finally seemed to become friends. That part I was still trying to understand. I still didn’t quite believe it myself.

  Mum gave one of her cross shrugs and walked into the living room. I stood stock-still in the hallway. Normally her lectures went on for much longer than this and involved me being grounded. I was confused. Eventually I decided to head to my room and hope she’d forget all about it.

  “I spoke to Liz this evening,” she called out as I started up the stairs. I stopped. I walked back down and into the living room.

  “Oh?” I said. I yawned conspicuously. “Gosh, I’m tired. Silly me for staying out so late. Good night, Mu—”

  “Ruby, sit down.” Mum’s voice was stern but not really angry. I sat down, hoping I’d be allowed out again before I turned sixteen. Sometimes Mum has a way of making me feel in the wrong even when I haven’t done anything. “She said she’d been meaning to call me for a couple of weeks now, but after she heard about me and your dad she just had to ring. I’m glad you told her. She’s been very supportive of you since you joined the show.”

  I shrugged and dropped my chin onto my chest. “I know,” I said into the neck of my T-shirt. “But I didn’t exactly tell her. She just heard. I thought maybe things might change and, well, things at work were a bit up and down and I just didn’t say anything …” I trailed off.

  “Liz was worried about you. She said she’d meant to discuss your new story line with me. Imagine how I felt, Ruby. I had no idea you had a big new story line coming up! She thought you would have told me straightaway; she assumed that if I’d had any questions or worries, I’d have been in touch. She thought we’d have gone through the script together like we always do.” Mum looked worried. She brushed a strand of hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear. “She told me about their plans for you, Ruby. They sound exciting! Why didn’t you tell me? Is it because of everything that’s being going on here? I understand if it is, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you not talking to me anymore. I always thought we could talk about anything. I thought that you told me everything.”

  I looked up at her. She wasn’t angry, I realized. She was hurt and worried once again that somehow she was letting me down.

  “I got all worked up about it,” I said, “even before I knew about you and Dad. Everything seemed to come at once. I thought they were going to drop me from the show and it seemed like the end of the world, and then Dad moved out and it was the end of the world, and then Liz and Trudy came up with this new story line and …did Liz tell you about the kissing scene?”

  I looked at Mum warily. She was so keen that I shouldn’t grow up one second faster than she wanted me to that I thought she’d hate the idea. But, instead, she just laughed.

  “Well, yes, but it’s not really a kissing scene, is it?” she said, ruffling my hair. “It’s more of a scene with a kiss in it.”

  For some reason her reaction disappointed me. “Well, I suppose,” I said, glumly. “If you put it like that.”

  She looked closely at me. “Has that been worrying you?” she asked me. “Because if you feel you’re too young …”

  “Mum! No,” I said, picking up a cushion and hugging it over my tummy. “It’s not that I’m too young. I just didn’t talk to you about it because I thought you had too much other stuff to worry about.”

  Mum put her arm around me.

  “Ruby, whatever is happening in my life, there will never be a day that I won’t be here when you want to talk to me about anything. When you’re ninety-five and I’m a decrepit old lady you can still tell me everything. OK?”

  I had to admit I felt better now that she knew about everything. Well, nearly everything. Talking to a parent or teacher did help, after all. Of course, I’d always known that; I’d just forgotten it recently.

  Mum kissed the top of my head. “Liz told me Justin was taking you to lunch tomorrow. Is that right?”

  I sighed inwardly. She really did know everything.

  “Yes, but it’s only for work—just so we can talk over the scene and everything. It’s not as if it’s a date!” I rolled my eyes. Mum suppressed a smile.

  “Do you have a crush on Justin?” she asked me gently.

  I sat up with a start. “No! Anyway, he’s got a girlfriend. And I don’t fancy him, so I don’t even care. It’s only work.”

  Mum nodded.

  “OK. Well, if Liz has arranged it, I’m sure it will be fine. You can go.”

  I headed quickly for the stairs, thanking my lucky stars.

  “And on Sunday, you can start being grounded for coming home so late tonight, OK?”

  “OK,” I answered wearily. I should have known Mum would never let me get away with that.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Inever thought in a million years that Anne-Marie Chance would ever be sitting on my bed putting her glitter gel on my eyelids. It was so strange that if I hadn’t been about to go to lunch with the love of my life, and if my stomach hadn’t been invaded by a flock of butterflies, I probably would have been quite freaked out by it. Strangely, Everest—who never got excited about anything that wasn’t edible—seemed to love Anne-Marie and continuously rubbed his head against her leg. If Everest liked her, she couldn’t be all that bad.

  “Now, all you need
is a touch here and there.” She dabbed my closed eyelids. “Just on the inner corner of your eyes. This makes them look bigger and wider apart and also eliminates all those dark shadows.” She smiled at me when I opened my eyes. “Not bad,” she said, regarding her handiwork.

  “How do you know all this stuff?” I asked her. “I know nothing about makeup. I mean, I’ve read articles and seen what other girls do, but when I try to put any on, I end up looking like a clown.”

  Anne-Marie smiled and shrugged. “I don’t know, really; I just seem to pick it up. I have a lot of time to myself, after all.” She unzipped her makeup bag. “Now for some lip gloss …”

  Nydia leaned over Anne-Marie’s shoulder and examined me. “You look really nice, Ruby,” she said, sounding slightly surprised. Anne-Marie and I laughed.

  “Oh, thanks!” I said.

  “No, I mean, when Anne-Marie suggested she come over and do your face, I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant. Only a week ago it would have meant giving you two black eyes. But you do look really nice.” Nydia knelt down on the floor next to my bed. “Will you do my eyes next?” she asked Anne-Marie. “I haven’t got a date with the hunkiest bloke in Britain, but I’d like to know about eyeliner all the same.”

  Anne-Marie laughed. “Sure,” she said. Nydia and I exchanged glances. It was so strange. Here she was, being nice to us, doing our makeup and having a laugh, and as far as I could tell she wasn’t doing it because of some evil-genius master plan to stop us from thwarting her bid for world domination. This Anne-Marie was a completely different person from the one I’d always known. As usual it was Nydia who put into words what I was thinking.

  “Anne-Marie,” Nydia said uncertainly, “when we go back to school …well, will you still talk to us or will it be back to normal?”

  Anne-Marie paused mid–lip gloss and looked at her. “Have you ever seen those wildlife documentaries about dangerous animals, like tigers and stuff?”