Maya's Choice

by Earl Sewell

  “Nah, I don’t need to,” I said. I was about to pull out one of the crispy egg rolls and take a bite. Before I knew anything, she was standing next to me slapping the back of my hand. Instinctively, I knuckled up my fists and prepared to defend myself.

  “Go do what I told you. Your hands are filthy. Look at all of the black dirt under your fingernails.” I unclenched my fists and took a peek. She was right, my hands were dirty.

  “Women should always be clean,” she said, moving toward the refrigerator and taking out a two-liter bottle of soda. I went into the bathroom and freshened up. When I returned she’d made my plate for me and set it on the table.

  “Have a seat. We’ll eat dinner together,” she said, inviting me to sit down next to her. All I really wanted to do was take my plate of food, go upstairs, sit on the bed and eat. I didn’t want to have dinner with her because I knew she’d talk about my mother. I knew there was no way I’d get out of sitting with her, so I decided to suffer through it.

  Once I got comfortable in my seat, I reached for my fork and was about to start shoveling food in my mouth.

  “Ahem.” Grandmother Esmeralda cleared her throat before reaching her hand toward mine.

  “Oh, right. We have to say grace.” I held on to her hand, bowed my head and listened to her say the blessing.

  “Finally,” I mumbled as I began eating.

  “Have you heard from your mother?” asked Grandmother Esmeralda.

  “No,” I said, thinking nothing of it.

  “Salena never stays in one place for too long. Whenever I get a phone number and address for her it’s only good for a few months. I’ve gotten tired of trying to keep up with you and her,” Grandmother Esmeralda said as she ate a small portion of her food.

  “We’ve lived in so many different places I get confused sometimes, too,” I said jokingly.

  “You shouldn’t have to live like that. It’s not good for you.”

  “She’ll get it together. I know she will. I’m going to help her by saving up enough money to get us an apartment,” I said, defending my mother while attempting to prove that all hope wasn’t lost.

  “Salena believes that she can’t survive without a man in her life. She is so jealous of Raven and wants everything she has. Salena doesn’t know how to be herself. She always changes in order to make her man happy, and that’s not the way love goes.” Grandmother Esmeralda paused in thought and then said, “Her mind is stuck in the past and she is still trying to compete with her older sister. I don’t know what can be done to fix this.”

  “After my father passed away she was never the same,” I said.

  “Your father was no good for her.” I stopped eating and glared at my grandmother.

  “God bless him, but he and his entire family were cursed,” Grandmother Esmeralda said with unwavering conviction.

  “What do you mean he was cursed?” I asked.

  “Oh, Viviana, don’t you remember any of the lessons you learned in church?” she asked. To be honest, I found church boring. Most of the time I either fell asleep or daydreamed while the priest spoke.

  “No, I don’t,” I answered as I bit into my egg roll.

  “Sometimes a bad demon can—”

  I interrupted her. “Don’t tell me you believe in superstition.” Grandmother Esmeralda got quiet for a long moment. I could tell there was something very heavy on her heart and mind.

  “You’re too young and unknowledgeable to understand the things I am speaking of.” Then just as if she’d flipped on a light switch in another room, she dropped that conversation and changed the subject.

  “Where do you guys live now?” she asked.

  “On the Southside, off of King Drive,” I said as I scraped my plate and pushed food onto my fork with my thumb.

  “Does she have a phone there?” Grandmother Esmeralda asked.

  “Why? Do you want to call her?” I asked. “I have her cell phone number.”

  “Yes, maybe she’s sober now and can talk rationally.” Grandmother Esmeralda excused herself and retrieved her cordless phone.

  “What’s her phone number?” she asked. I told her the numbers to dial. When she did she said, “That cellular number is no longer in service. Are you sure that’s the phone number?” she asked.

  “I’m positive,” I answered. “She probably just forgot to pay the bill.”

  “See, this is why I can’t help her or keep up with her.” Grandmother Esmeralda released a frustrated sigh. “Tomorrow we’ll go visit her and I’ll try to talk some sense into her.”

  I thought to myself, Good luck with that one. The one thing I knew about my mother was that when she was in love, nothing else mattered. Not even me.

  After dinner I wanted to go hang out in the streets around her neighborhood. I was hoping to see some old friends that I grew up with. But Grandmother Esmeralda put the brakes on that idea.

  “Let’s watch a movie together,” she said.

  “What do you want me to do? Rent a film?” I asked.

  “No. Of course not. I have the perfect movie for us to watch. Come follow me,” she said. We walked into another room where she had television, a VCR and a few movies.

  “Wow, you still have a VCR,” I said teasingly.

  “We can watch My Family,” she said, holding up the video box with a prideful smile. I remembered watching the movie with her as a little girl at least a thousand times. It was as if all of the answers to her dilemmas were contained in that film. She and my mother, Salena, were alike in that regard. When it came to certain things, their minds were trapped in the past.

  “What else do you have?” I quickly asked, because I didn’t want to suffer through another viewing of that movie.

  “I have Forrest Gump,” she said.

  “Oh, God no, Grandma,” I said, searching for something better. To my surprise she had a Tyler Perry movie. Of course, it was about a family.

  “Let’s watch this one. Like Water for Chocolate.” I held up the box.

  “Oh, that’s a good one. I have not watched that in some time,” she said.

  “What is it about?” I asked reluctantly, fearing it would be boring.

  “Oh, Viviana. It is a movie about family. A family with a very mean mother,” Grandmother Esmeralda said. I was about to put it back to see what else she had.

  “No, no, no. I want to see it now. There’s lots of good cooking in that movie, plus there is a love story that will warm your heart.” She chuckled. “There is even a subplot that deals with a family curse that lasted four generations. You’ll like it. It has lots of drama.”

  I popped in the videotape, and sat down next to my grandmother. The movie was in Spanish and I had to sit there and read the subtitles because I didn’t understand everything that was being said, only some of it. I just knew that I’d fall asleep watching it. That is, until I saw the cute lover. Just like Grandmother Esmeralda said, the movie was very interesting. It was about three sisters living in Mexico in the early 1900s. The youngest girl, Tita, was not to break tradition and was supposed to take care of her mother until she died. Tita was to never marry, have a husband or children. Then one day a man told her that he loved her and wanted to marry her, but Tita’s mother wouldn’t allow it. Instead she allowed the lover man to marry Tita’s sister. The only reason the lover man agreed to that arrangement was so that he could be near Tita all of the time. There were so many things that the character Tita and I had in common. Both of our mothers were certifiably crazy. We were trapped in a dilemma that we had no control over. Our fathers had passed away, and finally, finding romance for both of us was very difficult.

  When the movie concluded, I felt a wave of sadness overcome me, while Grandmother Esmeralda quietly snored next to me. She was right; the movie was very good and touching. I sat there for a moment wishing I had the power and bravery of Tita. I also wanted to learn how to cook like her. She had the ability to place all of her feelings into her food so that, the moment anyone tasted it,
they could experience every emotion that she felt when she prepared it. If I could master that trick, I’d be one badass Latina.

  I wasn’t sleepy and still wanted to go outside, but didn’t feel like waking up my grandmother to ask for permission. I was practically an adult and felt as if I could come and go as I pleased. I knew my grandmother slept to the sound of the television, something I’d learned a long time ago, so I flipped the channel to a news station so the noise of the television set remained constant.

  I stepped out onto the front porch and into the breezy night air. I looked down the street in one direction and noticed some guy washing his car, which I thought was strange for this time of night. There were also three little kids, who I assumed were his, sprinting around, chasing each other and squealing. I looked in the other direction and saw another guy leaning up against his car door with his girlfriend. She had her rear end pressed against him and had surrendered her neck to his lips.

  “It would be so nice to have a boyfriend.” I sighed as I sat down in Grandmother Esmeralda’s chair. Watching the lovebirds made me think about what had happened earlier when I was with my little cousin Anna.

  Anna and I were always cool with each other. Although she was younger than Maya and me by two years, she was fun to hang around because of her outgoing personality. Anna didn’t judge people by their clothes or the way they looked. If you were nice to her, she’d be nice to you. It was just that simple with her. Anna immediately got me out of the house, so we could gossip and catch up on how things had been going in our lives.

  “I’m so happy you’re here. The moment Grandmother Esmeralda told me you were coming I got so excited,” Anna said as we walked down the driveway and away from the house. Anna had told her mother that she was taking me to the pool to hang out.

  “It’s good to see you, too. It has been a long time,” I said.

  “It’s been entirely too long, Viviana,” Anna said as we continued down a neighborhood street.

  “So, what have you been up to?” I asked.

  “Well, when I’m not fighting with Maya, I try to get boys to notice me,” she answered.

  “Are you kidding? As pretty as you are, you should have boys following you around.”

  “Ha, I wish. I think I’m cursed. I’m practically invisible to boys. I tried to get Maya to hook me up, but all she did was make me feel bad for wanting to date. Then she got on her soapbox and tried to lecture me as if she were Papa. She’s always bossing me and Paul around like that and it’s gotten old.”

  “Really? Maya tries to act like she’s your mother?”

  “Yeah, she says that she’s trying to protect me. And I’m like, I didn’t ask for protection services. I just want to party, have a good time and meet boys.” Anna laughed and did a quick dance move.

  “Look at you,” I said, smiling. “You’ve grown up so much since that summer night we snuck out of Grandmother Esmeralda’s house to the hip-hop concert in the park.”

  “Oh, my God, that was like the best time of my entire life. I’m so serious, Viviana. I’ll never forget the time we had. I remember everything about that night.”

  “Really?” I smiled, recalling the fun we had. “You were only twelve then, right?”

  “Yes, but you treated me like I was the same age as you were. I was in seventh grade and you were a freshman in high school. And the guy you were dating, oh, my God, he was so hot! I even remembered that his name was Andy. He was eighteen and a senior in high school. He even drove a Mustang convertible. I remember being so envious of you.”

  I smiled and then laughed. Anna had a way of making me feel at ease. I didn’t feel all defensive around her. “Yeah, Andy was sweet,” I admitted.

  “Whatever happened to him? I thought for sure you guys would have eloped by now,” Anna said.

  “Ha, that’s a laugh. I had my fun with Andy and then I moved on,” I said.

  “You moved on? Are you serious?” Anna couldn’t believe what I was telling her.

  “Yes,” I said as I continued to laugh.

  “How did you get over the breakup?” Anna asked.

  “Well, honey, if there is one thing my mother has taught me it’s how to run through men. The best way to get over one guy is to get under another one,” I repeated something I’d heard Salena say once.

  “So, how many boyfriends have you had since Andy?” Anna asked.

  “Too many to count,” I spoke truthfully. “I’m just on a dry spell right now. Once things settle down again, I’ll get back in the game.”

  Anna stopped, took my hands into her own and forced me to meet her eyes. “Okay, I know this may sound extreme, but could you please teach me everything you know about boys, dating and whatever. I know that you’ve experienced things, and I just want to learn from you.” Anna looked at me as if my next words would either crush her heart or brighten up her life. I smiled at her. She was like the perfect little sister.

  “I’d be happy to,” I said.

  “Yes!” Anna whispered. “I am so ready for this.”

  “You’re probably just maturing at a faster rate than other kids are,” I said.

  “See, why is it that you can understand that but no one else can? Do you realize that I had my very first beer with you that night we snuck out of the house?”

  “Yeah, I remember that. I thought for sure you were going to tell and get us both in trouble.”

  “Just like I told you back then—I’m loyal and trustworthy. It was our secret, and it was and still has remained just between us.”

  “Have you tried to drink anything else since?” I asked.

  “No, but I’m willing to try something,” Anna said eagerly.

  “Okay. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “I can’t believe how much cooler you are than Maya. Had I said something like that to her she would’ve hit the rooftop. Sometimes I can’t stand her and her perfect little relationship with Misalo.”

  “Misalo? Who is he?” I asked.

  “Maya’s boyfriend, who she has wrapped around her little finger,” Anna stated.

  “He’s okay, but he is nothing like Carlo.” Anna said the boy’s name as if he were a god.

  “Who is Carlo?” I asked.

  “He is the new boy that has moved into the neighborhood and he is so hot. I swear, he can walk on water, Viviana,” Anna exaggerated, as we came to a corner and had to wait for the stoplight.

  “Is Carlo your boyfriend?” I asked.

  “I wish. He doesn’t even know that I’m alive. I’d give anything just to be with him. Viviana, I swear, Carlo looks just like Enrique Iglesias. He has thick eyebrows, and long eyelashes and a little stubble on his chin. Every time I see Carlo he takes my breath away.”

  “Oh, I can’t wait to see this guy,” I said as we walked into the swimming pool clubhouse. When we arrived Maya was already there.

  “How did she get here before us?” I asked.

  “She probably took the shortcut,” Anna said. “Come on. Let’s go sit on the other side of the pool, because I don’t want to be anywhere near Maya.”

  “Yeah, neither do I.” As I followed Anna, Maya called to her and waved for us to stop over.

  “Damn, what does she want?” Anna griped.

  “Who knows,” I said as I reluctantly went over by Maya.

  By the time Anna and I found a spot to sit away from Maya and Keysha, my dislike for both of them had swelled like a river about to overrun its banks. I didn’t like the way Keysha stared at me judgmentally. I could tell Keysha thought she was better than me. Maya didn’t make me feel any better, because all she did was look at me with her tiny little nose crinkled up, as if there was some foul odor wafting through the air. Just by looking into their eyes I could tell they both felt as if I were beneath them. I couldn’t believe that Keysha would try to pretend as if she knew Toya Taylor. She looked just like Maya, the type of girl who lives a very comfortable life. I knew that Anna was from the same background, but like I said, she was dif
ferent; she wasn’t stuck-up. Anna told me all about how tight Keysha and Maya were.

  “They’ve been best friends for a while now,” Anna explained as we lounged on lawn chairs. We observed and gossiped about both of them like they were cheap prostitutes attempting to act as if they came from royalty.

  “They do everything together. They’ve practically created their own little clique. Keysha is like a total slut. She’s dated a boy who had an alcohol problem and a sexually transmitted disease. Then she turned around and took some other girl’s guy, and come to find out the other girl was pregnant with the guy’s baby.”

  “Oh, that’s just wrong,” I said as I slid off my shoes. My toes looked like a disaster, and I thought for sure Anna would call me on it, but she didn’t and I liked her even more.

  “Then Keysha started dating this other guy….”

  “I’m tired of hearing about Keysha. Tell me more about Maya and her boyfriend.”

  “Oh. She is like so head over heels in love with this boy named Misalo. Oh, they make me sick with how they’re always all over each other. And they never fight about anything,” Anna said.

  “What does he look like?” I asked.

  “He’s okay-looking. Short hair, round face, kind of skinny, though.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the guy who’s over there holding her hand.” I directed Anna’s attention back to Keysha and Maya. Anna expelled a gasp of air as if someone had just punched her in the gut. At that moment I knew the drop-dead gorgeous guy kissing Maya’s hand was none other than Carlo.

  “Oh, my God! I think I’m going to be sick.” Anna turned her back so that she wouldn’t see. “Please tell me that he didn’t just kiss Maya’s hand.”

  “I’d be lying if I said that.”

  “Damn. She already has Misalo. Why is Maya going after him?” Anna raised her voice. “She shouldn’t even be flirting with him. I swear, I hate her.”

  “Uhm, you may want to turn back around. I think Misalo just arrived,” I informed her.

  “What?” Anna spun quickly around.

  “You’re right. Misalo is kind of scrawny compared to Carlo. And it looks like little Misalo is not too happy with Maya,” I said, thinking it would make Anna feel better.