Never Mind!

by Nicky Roth

  It was far too much for the short distance, and yet, it was definitely worth it if it meant peace and quiet and fresh air. Throwing the door close, before his companion realised what was going on, he stepped away from the cab and breathed a sigh of relief when it quickly drove off. Good man!

  Thank goodness she would return to London this very morning. Yeah, it was already past midnight!

  He would not have survived another day with her around - and he had only arrived the day before yesterday in the early afternoon, just as his friend had started with the first interviews.

  Even with walking, Darcy would have arrived at Netherfield Park within ten minutes, but not wanting to run into Caroline Bingley again, he had taken the longer way, meaning he had wandered around the overgrown grounds for about half an hour, stumbling through the thicket and dodging various rabbit holes.

  Sneaking in through the back door, he decided against using the servants' staircase for fear he took the wrong door. He as yet didn't know the place well enough to risk it. No, he certainly did not want to accidentally step into the dragon's lair.

  'Shit, man! I was worried where you were,' someone basically yelled at him.

  Bingley! Darcy sighed deeply yet again.

  But his friend wasn't finished yet: 'Where the heck have you been? Caroline wailed something about you having gotten out of the car because you felt sick and the driver dashing off without waiting for you to get back in. She was close to hysterics.'

  'Bingley, please, I've had enough crap already tonight to last me until Christmas - next year that is.'

  'Oh come now, Darcy, the ball wasn't that bad. Stop being this fastidious. You know, sometimes you can be a right pompous arse.'

  'I didn't mean the ball, but your sister.'

  'What, did she want to take your virginity?'

  'Very funny... - Haha. But actually yes, she did try to get into my pants, well, breeches. Why do you think I got out of that cab?'

  His friend gaped at him open-mouthed, eyes bulging.

  'I swear, next time she pulls a stunt like that, I'll throttle her,' Darcy added tiredly, reaching for the decanter of brandy on the shabby looking sideboard.

  'Let me know when you need help to discard of the body,' Bingley offered dryly.

  'What, she annoyed you, too? Wow, she's been busy.'

  'On occasion, I think she should work as a professional pain in the neck. It's pretty much the only thing she's really good at. Seriously, I wonder why I invited her along.'

  'She really pissed you off, didn't she? What has she done now?'

  Bingley normally was never as sarcastic as he was now. That trait was normally reserved for him.

  'Yes, don't even ask. She's managed to even shock mum.'

  'Oh-uh!'

  They sat down on the dusty sofa in front of the empty grate and stared into the black cavern of the fireplace.

  'Yep, “oh-uh” sums it up pretty nicely. You'll find out soon enough what she's done, I don't want to rob you of the surprise I had when I found a certain contract on my desk with my signature on it just now. One of which I am one hundred per cent sure that I have never seen that thing before. I mean you did intend to stay for a week, didn't you?'

  'Yes, that was the plan as you very well know. Unless, perhaps, your sister has decided to stay as well.'

  'Nope, she is already on her way back to London.'

  'You threw her out?'

  'Yep. Which means that you will be right there when the shit will hit the fan.'

  When in bed, later on, Darcy, though tired, had trouble falling asleep. Too many things went through his mind, some pleasant, others decidedly not. And aside from that, he had never slept very well in strange beds and this applied especially to beds smelling of mothballs. Bingley had changed the mattresses already upon on his very first day here, but the strong smell had seemingly permeated the woodwork of the bed just the same.

  It was only at dawn that he fell into a restless slumber, and as his inner clock was set to get up at six in the morning, to say that he had rested well, would have been a stretch. Nonetheless, he got up, trudged down the corridor towards the bathroom and took a cold shower to wake up. Not that the warm water was as yet working anyway.

  So far so good. Now, where was the kitchen? He remembered darkly the way through which he had come in and faintly recalled that he had passed it then. Ah, yes, there it was. He put on the kettle and searched through the fridge, putting eggs, bacon, butter and bread on the table before trying to light the gas-stove. His attempt ended in a small explosion but then the thing worked perfectly fine.

  Just as Darcy had finished cooking his breakfast, Bingley appeared, looking sleepy and dishevelled.

  'What, up already?' his friend yawned.

  'As you can see? Any plans for today?'

  Did he imagine it, or did Bingley blush?

  'Well, I think I would like to go over to Longbourn House Farm...'

  'Ah, so that is where that pretty little blonde lives,' Darcy, knowing Charles Bingley far too well teased.

  'Yes, and also her sister Elizabeth,' Bingley replied with a grin and suddenly Darcy felt as if he was on the receiving end of a joke.

  How did Bingley know anyway?

  'I see I caught you off guard for once. Mum said she had never seen you speak so animatedly to a stranger as you did to her. So when is the wedding to take place?'

  'I thought we'd have a double wedding, so you decide,' Darcy answered off-handedly, hoping to gain the upper hand once more.

  'Sounds like a plan, my friend. I will hold you to it.'

  'I've been joking, Bingley! She's tolerable, I suppose, but not handsome enough to tempt me,' Darcy replied grimacing, while at the same time he dearly hoped no-one would see him cross his fingers behind his back.

  He'd had a couple of girlfriends, but no relationship had lasted very long and for various reasons. Well, mainly because he actually preferred the country to city-life and naturally often hung around in his stables, meaning that at the end of the day he smelled like it. Not even the fact that he had always showered straight after coming into the house had changed their look of disgust and their wrinkled noses when he had told them about his day.

  Did these women even realise that he fed them? Not literally, of course. But what would the world be without farmers? People would still roam around the land hunting mammoth, if they had not died out, of course. No cities would have been built, technology would not have advanced as it had in the last couple of decades, and worst of all for them in all likeliness, there would be no shopping centres and high streets.

  Caroline was a prime example of that kind of woman, for it was absolutely beyond him, why she would want to marry him of all people. Yeah, well, he was rich, close relations of his held various titles, but in the end, he was only a farmer. And a hotelier, and an investor and a curator... - Oh, and he was quite successful in both show jumping as well as military, though that fell more into the realms of a hobby and an expensive one at that.

  However, Elizabeth Bennet, he felt, was very different from all the women he had met so far, though he could not put a finger on it, what made her stand out, and whether it was in a positive or negative manner. So, perhaps he should try to get to know her better. He either would find her intolerable, or he could find the one woman he could share the remainder of his life with.

  All the while he was lost in his musings, Bingley's gaze had not left his face.

  'What?' he asked when at last he did realise that he was being scrutinized.

  'I have asked if you wanted to come with me, we can drive over there together. I believe it is on the other side of Meryton.'

  'I actually have a better idea. The two horses I have bought in Kent yesterday need a bit of exercise. What do you say we ride over there? Come, what woman doesn't dream of a knight in shining armour, hey?'

  'You are fully aware that I have never sat on a horse before? I will be more like a sack of barley strung up across a nag's back
. Besides, my suit of armour is currently at the dry cleaners.'

  'Once is always the first time, my friend,' Darcy replied chuckling. 'And you will hardly find a better teacher than me and for free. Besides, may I remind you, that you have been nagging me about showing you how to ride for ages? Now is the time, my friend.'

  'If that is the price I need to pay to see you hitched up at last, so be it.'

  'Who spoke of me getting hitched?'

  'You know, sometimes I wonder if the two of you will ever grow up...' Mrs Hurst, who seemed have stood in the doorway for a while, shook her head in amusement.

  'Mum, we're men, did you not always insist on us to never grow up?'

  'Yes, but you didn't need to make a point of it,' she sighed, though the corners of her mouth twitched suspiciously. 'Poor Jane! Oh, but of course she likes working with children.'

  Darcy lowered his head in order to hide his smile. Louisa Hurst was actually quite alright if perhaps a bit snobby, but he knew the moment Elizabeth had told them that her sister was a paediatric nurse, she, other than her daughter who had been little impressed, would be won over. Mrs Hurst's sole life revolved around organising help and charity. And she was pretty damn good at it.

  Charity balls, charity dinners, charity parties...

  At least from his mother's side, Bingley would get no opposition. Good!

  And then the bomb dropped.

  'Charles, what do you intend to do about the film team?'

  'Oh please, mum, not at this early hour. I have just managed to ban that fact from my memory. But since you've asked, there is nothing I can do without needing to pay damages. I could, of course, go to court, but you know as well as I how long that'll take. And besides it's the weekend and they'll arrive on Monday already. I spoke to Matt, but he said the same. I would have to prove the signature isn't mine, but there is no question that it is, and knowing that Caroline must have smuggled that piece of paper between all the other stuff that needed signing, doesn't make me any less liable at any rate.'

  'So you will have them romp all over the house while we have to stand by and watch?'

  'Yes. - NO!' Bingley almost stumbled over his words, much to Darcy's entertainment. 'I mean yes, I will have them romp all over the house, but no, I doubt you'll be required to watch.'

  'Seriously, I think Matthew and I will be leaving tonight,' his mother replied with a sigh. 'I don't want to be anywhere near when... - You are right, let's not speak of it.'

  Shame, Darcy thought, just when it was beginning to get interesting. - Romp around the house? What a funny term to use. Did Caroline organise an orgy or... - Oh shit!

  No, she couldn't possibly have...? Could she? Really? Oh, fuck!

  Chapter 5:

  Pitchfork

  The next morning, Elizabeth had dragged herself out of bed, feeling slightly hung over. But as much as she would have loved to sleep in till some time after lunch, the animals needed to be fed and the cows milked and the eggs collected like every single day of the week, year in, year out.

  Admittedly, it would be much easier, if she could persuade Mary, Kitty or Lydia to help her once in a while, but truth be told, the effort she would have to put into that, would by far surpass the actual work she had to do around the farm.

  Okay, Mary did have a reasonable excuse, she actually did study from dawn till dusk and beyond. Perhaps even a bit too excessively. When Elizabeth entered the kitchen, her middle sister was already sitting there bent over a book, making hasty notes while at the same time shovelling cornflakes into her mouth. Though she sported a black eye, from when one of her fellow dancers had accidentally hit her in the eye with her elbow, otherwise she looked completely unconcerned and it was clear that last night's incident had already been banished from her mind and successfully so. In Elizabeth's however, it was still featured vividly prominent.

  'Good morning, Mary!' Elizabeth chirped more cheerfully than she actually felt, only to receive an absent-minded huff.

  Shrugging her shoulders, she made herself a cup of strong tea and then, while the tea brewed, a cheese and pickle sandwich with fresh tomatoes.

  She had just finished half of her breakfast, when Jane stepped into the kitchen, looking so fresh and lovely that had it been any other person, Elizabeth would have held her in contempt for it. Only Jane was allowed to look this gorgeous after a long night out.

  'I thought I'll give you a hand, Lizzy,' she announced, helping herself to an apple and a yoghurt from the fridge.

  'Seriously, do you have to talk so much?' Mary reprimanded them testily, at last looking up from her work with an annoyed expression. 'I have to catch up on my schedule. Practise and last night have kind of overthrown it all, and I still need to go over my literature notes.'

  Jane smiled gently before stating: 'Mary, don't you think you are overdoing things a little? I mean, when was the last time you went out? Or even just outside?'

  'I go outside every day,' Mary pouted.

  'I think Jane meant aside from your way to school and back, Mary,' Elizabeth seconded her older sister.

  'Well... - but I do go out twice every week at least.'

  Yes, to meet with a bunch of old folk to either sing or dance. Both Elizabeth and Jane shared a glance, clearly thinking the same, but neither of them said anything. It would be in vain anyway.

  Munching away in silence, five minutes later Jane and Elizabeth were on their way over to the stables.

  'You know, I have to say last night was surprisingly pleasant, wasn't it?' Jane swooned as soon as they had stepped out into the bright September morning.

  'Well, it certainly was for you. I take it, Mr Bingley is a very pleasant chap? And he seemed to like you, which definitely speaks for his sense.'

  Jane blushed most becomingly then, with an elegant wave of her hand and a sad smile remarked: 'He is. Pleasant, I mean. But I'll doubt I made much of an impact. He must be used to an excess of pretty women surrounding him with his amiability and good looks. By now, he has most likely forgotten all about me.'

  Elizabeth looked at her incredulously. What she had seen last night, after Charlotte had pointed it out to her, was much more. Unless, of course, Mr Bingley was a complete scoundrel, so used to charming women that it had become second nature to him.

  Thinking about it, her sister might have a point. In his line of work, he needed to be courteous and amiable in order to be successful, while at the same time, there was little doubt, he must be a good businessman. Okay, his buying run-down Netherfield perhaps spoke against that, but a young man is allowed to be impulsive on occasion and if he could afford it, Netherfield might even turn into a gem one day in the distant future. And after all, for him, it might have been a bargain, depending on how rich he really was. Rumours were never too reliable to trust them completely, but that he had some money was apparent nonetheless.

  'You know, he said he would like to make Netherfield Park the headquarters for his company,' Jane carried on, trudging along the muddy path in her purple wellies with the cheerful pink polka dots, still managing to look like the most graceful figure possible.

  'Really?'

  'Yes. He said London is all nice and well, but he simply needs more space for all the administrations required. He intends to turn the old stables into an administrative building. Can you imagine, more than five hundred people work for him, and with adding Netherfield he hopes to add another fifty to a hundred.'

  Elizabeth blew out her breath. That it would be so many she had not expected.

  'What impressed me the most was, that he also employs a couple of people with special needs.'

  Of course, that would impress Jane. More than anything, actually.

  They had reached the stables by now and pushing open the large green sliding door entered to perform their first duty of their, well, her daily routine. – Opening the chicken coop and then milking the cows.

  Thank goodness someone had already invented mechanical milkers or it would take them forever. It still took
them nearly an hour before they could usher the herd down the lane and onto one of the meadows.

  Did she dream it, or were there really two men approaching them on horseback? Nope, no dream.

  Mr Bingley looked a little unstable on his rather docile mount, but his austere looking companion actually cut a rather graceful figure atop his decidedly nervous beast. No guesswork needed there, who of the two had more experience.

  Upon seeing Jane, Bingley's face brightened, though it was obvious that he did not dare take a hand off the reins, other than his friend, who raised his in what she supposed was a greeting. So much for Jane being forgotten already, Elizabeth thought, casting a sly glance in her sister's direction.

  He might not be a knight in shining armour, but he was close enough.

  Involuntarily her eyes fell on Mr Darcy and she was painfully aware that he was assessing their farm most thoroughly. Why, oh why did she hope he was pleased? It was not as if his opinion mattered. But whatever he thought of Longbourn House Farm, his expression stayed unreadable.

  'So this is where you hide away,' Bingley spoke cheerfully only to be startled by his horse shaking its head to shoo away some flies.

  He attempted to get off the horse but obviously knew not how.

  'Ehh, Darcy?'

  Darcy's lips twitched, and though he had obviously not intended to get off his horse himself, he got out of the stirrups, swung one leg over the back of his animal and landed safely on the ground.

  'That is how it is done. Just take your feet out and there you go.

  'Ah, alright.'

  Bingley tried to imitate him and almost managed, however, he landed on his buttocks in a most charming manner instead of on his feet.

  'Oh dear! Have you injured yourself?' Jane gasped, rushing forward to help the young man get back up.

  'Only his pride, Miss Bennet,' Fitzwilliam Darcy answered dryly, his eyes firmly locked with Elizabeth's, while at the same time it clearly cost him some effort to keep his horse at bay.

  Was it even properly broken in yet? It did not look like it.