The Road Home

by Patrick E. Craig

  Reuben took Jenny’s hand in his. “Let me finish, Jenny. I need to say this.”

  Jenny looked at Jerusha. Her mama smiled at her and spoke. “Often it is hard for your papa to tell us what’s in his heart. Now is one of those times when it is not, so we need to listen.”

  Reuben smiled gratefully at his wife and then looked back at Jenny. “I didn’t understand how much it meant to you to know who your birth mother and father were. And, to tell you the truth, I was afraid that if you did find them and they could offer you more than we can, you’d leave the farm forever and go to be with them. But your mama has pointed out to me that you needed to know these things because your life was incomplete in many ways. We see now that things happened to you before we found you, things that hurt you, things that should never happen to a little girl. Your mama saw it in the quilt.”

  “The quilt?” Jenny asked.

  Reuben looked at Jerusha and nodded. Jerusha went on. “Yes, dearest, the quilt. You know that I made that quilt for Jenna long ago. It was going to be my way to leave the Amish faith after Jenna died and your papa was gone. But then I found you in the storm and I had to choose—save the quilt or save you. I can’t believe now that there was ever a moment’s hesitation, but in that moment I had a real battle with my pride. I know now that God was reaching for some things deep in me. So I wrapped you in the quilt and saved you. And then it became your quilt too. But in saving you, the quilt got ruined.”

  “What does that have to do with me?” Jenny asked, looking from Reuben to Jerusha. “And why does my quilt look brand new?”

  “While I was praying, I truly believe the Lord spoke to me about the quilt. I clearly heard Him say, ‘Jenny’s life is like this quilt. Though it’s beautiful, it’s not whole. Some pieces are missing, and some stains must be washed away. I have given her to you so you can be part of that cleansing. You are a key to Jenny’s happiness and wholeness.’ When I asked Him what that meant, He told me.”

  Jerusha looked back at Reuben and smiled. “You tell her, husband.”

  Reuben held Jenny’s hand and looked into her eyes. “The Lord showed your mama that when you were little, terrible things happened to you, things you didn’t remember until He started showing you.”

  “The dreams,” Jenny said. “He showed me in the dreams. And I saw my birth mother and the bad man who tried to hurt me.”

  “Yes, Jenny, you did,” Reuben said. “I just wasn’t paying attention when you told us about them. I should have listened, but sometimes I can be so pigheaded…” Reuben stopped and swallowed hard before continuing. “When those bad things happened, they hurt you inside and robbed you of your peace. And so all your life, you’ve been looking, searching, trying to find the answers, but until the Lord intervened, we didn’t understand what you were looking for. We just thought you were energetic and high-strung and that you would get over it in time.”

  “But I didn’t get over it,” Jenny said, “and I caused you and Mama a lot of heartache and trouble.”

  Reuben pulled Jenny into his arms again and spoke softly in her ear. “But, Jenny, you were given to us to love and protect and help. Your mother and I failed you in this way because we forgot about the miracle God performed when He gave you to us. We should have remembered every day that there was a purpose and a design in the things God did for us, starting even before Jenna was born. The Rose of Sharon quilt was part of that. God gave us something to remind us about what happened to you, but we put it away and forgot. And so we went on living as if you were our natural-born daughter without seeing that you needed our help to become complete and whole again. The ruined quilt should have reminded us that there were places in your life that needed healing and restoration. But we were so blind.”

  Reuben paused, then said, “We want to ask you to forgive us. Will you?”

  Jenny looked from Reuben to Jerusha and back again. “But I’m the one who disobeyed and ran away. I’m the one who needs forgiveness.”

  “Perhaps the Lord is asking us to forgive one another,” Jerusha said softly. She moved closer, and Reuben’s arm drew her to them. Then they sat together in love’s embrace, sharing tears and joy and forgiveness.

  After a while, Reuben spoke. “I have something else to say, Jenny.”

  They pulled back, and Jerusha passed around a handkerchief she had in her apron pocket. Reuben dabbed his eyes and then said, “Jenny, we want to help you find your mother.”

  Jenny stared at them again, amazed at what she was hearing.

  “You’ve already done some research that may lead us in the right direction. If it means that we have to go to New York, I’m willing to take you.”

  Jenny could barely speak. Finally she said, “When I was in the cave, hiding from Jorge, I found out that I have never really trusted my life completely into God’s hands. I’ve always tried to solve my own problems. I’ve always felt strong enough and smart enough to work things out on my own. But I found out that the Lord wants me to stop trying so hard and to let Him be Lord of my life.

  “I believe He spoke to me as I was lying there in the darkness. He said, ‘If you will only put all of this into My hands, I will show you the truth.’ There was one last moment when I wanted to fight Him and get out of danger on my own. I tried to move, but He told me to stop and lie still. Later, Jonathan told me that if I had moved I would have slipped down and fallen a long way into the darkness. I might have been killed. Now you’re saying you’re going to help me do what I set out to do on my own…Surely God is showing me once again to trust Him. Thank you, Papa. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

  After another moment of silence, Jenny spoke again. “Papa, what about Jonathan?”

  Reuben looked uncomfortable but said, “I like Jonathan. Underneath the hippie clothing and ponytail, he’s an intelligent and brave young man. He helped me to find you, and I will always be grateful to him for that. As for you and him…”

  Jenny lowered her face and looked at her hands. “Papa, I love him. I can’t help it, I just do.”

  “I believe you, dochter, but I’m not sure what to do. As things stand, you can’t be with him, for he’s not Amish. If you must be with him, you will have to leave the church. We can’t change those rules. But I can tell you that if your mother and I see that this is something that God is doing in your life, we will not stand in your way.”

  “Where is he now, Papa?”

  “He’s staying at Bobby’s house. He has been very anxious about your condition and very kind to your mother and me.”

  “Mama, you met Jonathan?”

  Jerusha smiled. “We met while you were in the hospital. He’s very handsome. He’s also a Hershberger…and therefore my kin. Yet he’s not a believer. It’s all very strange. I don’t know what to make of all this, but somehow I sense the Lord is in it. On the other hand, I do know this—the Bible says that a person who believes in Jesus should not be unequally yoked to an unbeliever. He says that for our own protection. You must search your own heart and listen to the leading of the Holy Spirit. I will support you in whatever you decide.”

  “Thank you, Mama.”

  Jenny looked down at the quilt. “Why does it look new, Mama?”

  Jerusha softly touched the blood-red rose in the center of the quilt. “God showed me that He gave me this quilt and then let it get ruined as a picture of your life. He showed me that there are things in the foundation of your life that need to be healed, and as I repaired the inside of the quilt, I began to understand.”

  Jerusha pointed to one of the rose petals. Jenny could see that it was brand new, but she couldn’t tell how it had been placed into the quilt.

  “When you repair a part of the quilt that’s torn or frayed, you don’t remove it. You cover it with a new, identical piece. So it is when we come to know Jesus. He doesn’t remove the old frayed pieces; He covers them with His precious blood, and all is made new again. I saw that so clearly as I sewed this new piece over the old. In all of it, the Lo
rd showed me that He is fully able to heal you and make you a new creation. You simply must let Him. You can’t be His granddaughter, knowing Him only through your papa and me. You must know Him for yourself and be His dochter, and He will make you whole. As a remembrance of what the Lord showed me, I added something to the quilt.”

  Jerusha pointed to a spot in the middle of the rose pattern. Sewn into the rose with stitches so tiny that it was almost invisible was a small key-shaped piece of red silk.

  “When we forget that Jesus is our help in time of trouble and that we must turn to Him for everything, we can look at this quilt and remember that He is the key that unlocks all hidden things.”

  Reuben took Jerusha’s hand. “We need to let you get some more sleep. We’ll talk more about these things when you’re rested.”

  They both hugged Jenny once more and then left her alone.

  Jenny sat for a while propped up on her pillow. Then she lay down and closed her eyes. She had a lot to think about.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  A Key in the Lock

  JENNY HOBBLED INTO THE KITCHEN on her crutches. It was a bright fall morning about a week after her rescue in Pennsylvania. She was eager to get the splint-wrap off her ankle, but the doctor had told her she needed a few days more to heal. So she had been hopping about the house like a little robin, her black prayer kappe perched on her head with the ends of her now short, curly red-gold curls tumbling out in disarray.

  The kitchen table was full of notes and papers and military registry books that Bobby had brought over. She flopped down in a chair, picked up a pencil, and began sucking the end as she went through her notes. Just then she heard the front door open. She hadn’t expected her mama and papa back so soon. She called out to the next room. “Mama? Papa? Are you home now?”

  Boot heels clicked on the wooden floor of the front room. Jenny looked up to see Jonathan standing in the kitchen doorway, a nervous smile on his face.

  “Jonathan! What…what are you doing here?”

  Just then Reuben’s broad shoulders filled the doorway behind Jonathan. He put his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder.

  “I brought him, Jenny.”

  “Hi, Jenny,” Jonathan said awkwardly. “How are you?”

  Suddenly her hands were shaking. She had never expected to see her papa with Jonathan. A flaming blush suffused her face, and she lowered her eyes.

  “I’m fine, Jonathan. Are you well?”

  She felt foolish as she asked it. She wanted to fling herself into his arms, but her papa was there, and…well, what if Jonathan didn’t feel the same about her anymore? And besides, since she had met with the bisschop and repented, she had made up her mind to be more obedient to her parents and try to fit the mold of a good Amish girl. So she sat silently as Jonathan answered.

  “I’m fine too,” Jonathan said. “I was worried about your leg, and I asked Sheriff Halverson if he would contact your dad for me…so I could…uh, find out how you’re doing. Mr. Springer was kind enough to invite me here to see for myself. The sheriff dropped us off.”

  Jenny looked up, and their gazes locked. She felt herself being drawn into the deep blue of his beautiful eyes, so like her papa’s.

  Reuben sensed their awkwardness and gave Jonathan a nudge. “Sit, Jonathan. We welcome you to our house. We won’t forget how you helped rescue our Jenny.”

  “Or how I got her into trouble in the first place?”

  Reuben smiled. “I’m glad the good Lord doesn’t hold all my youthful foolishness against me, Jonathan. And since I’ve been forgiven those indiscretions, it’s only right that I forgive yours. I won’t forget how you guided us to Jenny and how you stood up for her against those men in the cave. Alles ist gut, der gut endet.”

  Jonathan looked at Reuben strangely.

  “My grandfather used to use that expression,” he said. “It means all’s well that ends well.”

  Reuben nodded toward a chair across from Jenny, and Jonathan sat down. He looked into her eyes until Jenny blushed and looked down.

  “I have a question to ask you, Jenny,” Jonathan said.

  “What is it?”

  “The cave…how did you find the cave—my cave?”

  “Your cave?” Jenny asked.

  “Well, when I was a kid I used to call it that. I found it in the ravine one summer when I was twelve. The man in the cabin up on top had a cherry tree on his property, and I used to sneak up and pick cherries. He didn’t like that. One day when I was up in his tree, he came out of his cabin and yelled at me, and I jumped down and ran down the steps. He was really angry and yelling that he’d make sure I never came up there again. I could hear him coming after me, so I ran down the ravine. As I was running, I tripped on a rock and fell flat on my face. I couldn’t get up, so I crawled under a bush by the creek and scooted up against the cliff wall behind it. I was going backward, and I wasn’t looking where I was going, and I fell right into the cave. I heard the guy running past down the trail, but he didn’t see me.”

  “That’s kind of what happened to me,” Jenny said. “I was limping down the trail, and I fell and hurt my ankle again. I couldn’t go on, so I needed to hide. I just poked my stick in the bush and found the cave.”

  Jonathan looked perplexed. “It’s so strange that you found it,” he said. “I used to go there when I was a kid. It was like a fort or a hideout. I don’t think anybody else knew about it when I was going there. That channel you were stuck in is actually a narrow tunnel that goes through into another part of the cave. It’s about fifteen feet long and pretty steep. At the end it goes right over a cliff. I had my old Boy Scout flashlight when I first crawled down there, but I still nearly fell off. You can maneuver around and step down onto a ledge at the end of the channel. The ledge widens out, and then there’s a path that gets you down into the deepest part of the cave. You were lucky you didn’t just slide right off into the dark.”

  “I don’t think it was luck,” Jenny said. “My splint, the one I tied on with the stringer I found, got wedged in a crack when I was sliding, and I got jammed in between the walls. When I tried to get it out of the crack, I heard a voice tell me to stop. I tried to pull it out again, and I heard the voice once more, so I just lay there waiting for help. If the splint hadn’t been tied on my leg, or if I had pulled it out of the crack, I guess I would have slid right over the cliff.”

  Reuben had pulled up a chair and sat looking at Jonathan and Jenny. “Do you want to know what I think?” he asked.

  “What, Papa?” Jenny asked.

  “I think the Lord guided you through the whole journey. I think He took you to a place that Jonathan already knew about so Jonathan could help. I think He showed you the cave. And it makes me wonder just exactly what He is doing in your lives.”

  Jenny nodded, sure Papa was right. “When I was in the cave, I wanted to do what I always do. I wanted to help myself to get out of the situation. But I was helpless. I couldn’t do it. And then I realized that I have never let the Lord be God in my life. I have always known about Him, but I’ve never really known Him. And so when I came to the point that I couldn’t help myself, I just stayed where I was and put my trust in Him. And then you found me.”

  Jonathan sat silent while they were talking. Jenny glanced over at him. “What is it, Jonathan?”

  Jonathan paused for a long moment and then spoke as though he were sorting out his thoughts as he spoke them. “I don’t know exactly what to think about all this,” he replied. “When I was growing up, I never went to church. My parents never talked about religion, and even my grandfather seemed to have bitterness toward God. He always used His name as a cussword. I guess when I was growing up I asked myself the same questions most kids ask—why am I here, and what’s the meaning of life? I never found the answers in Long Island.

  “I was still searching when I went to San Francisco. I did some drugs and thought I had found the way until one day I took some LSD and had a wake-up call. I was sitting in my room, watc
hing all the patterns in the air and thinking I had finally discovered a new reality. It was all so beautiful. Then I closed my eyes and saw the same patterns on the inside of my eyelids. I realized in that moment that nothing had changed in the world around me. What I was observing was the effects of a chemical inside my body. I hadn’t discovered real spirituality or a new reality after all, and I really felt stupid. I tried it a couple more times, but in the end it was just a waste of my time. So now I really don’t know what to think about all this spiritual stuff.”

  “Perhaps you should consider taking a look at God as the source of reality, instead of all these other things, Jonathan,” Reuben said.

  “Well, I have found myself praying the last few days—and there was that dream I had.”

  “What dream?” Reuben asked.

  “I had a dream about Amish men working in a field,” Jonathan replied, “but at the time I didn’t know they were Amish. It was the night before I left San Francisco, and I dreamed about being in a field with men who were farming with hand tools and horses, and they were wearing clothes like yours and looked like you, Mr. Springer. And then I ended up in Apple Creek and somehow I met Jenny, and after I did I saw Amish men working in a field, just like my dream. Then Jenny showed me that my family used to be Amish. I don’t know what to think about all this, Mr. Springer. I guess it has to be just a coincidence, doesn’t it?”

  “Maybe it’s not, Jonathan,” said a soft voice.

  Jerusha stood in the doorway. She had come in from the outside and was holding her coat in her arms. Jonathan started to get up, but she waved him back into his seat.

  “I once heard that coincidence is just God choosing to remain anonymous,” she said.

  Jonathan looked at her with a puzzled look. “You mean that God has been in this all along and I just haven’t known it?”

  “It’s worth considering, son,” Reuben said. “Don’t you think?”

  Jonathan nodded slowly.

  “Wife, Bobby’s coming back soon to pick up Jonathan. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to have him stay for dinner so we can look at some of the notes that Jenny has made?”