Better Off Red
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unconditional. You have no idea the lengths we will go to protect
you. It’s the oath we’ve sworn to Dalhem, but you can’t understand
that because you’re not completely one of us. You don’t understand
what it’s like to have this precious thing linked to your very
existence. Cleo has been with me for three years, and in that time
I have grown to love her more than any feeder I have ever known
with the exception of you. I could not let her suffer.”
I knew what she was saying, but all I could hear was blood,
blood, blood. We need you for your blood. We were the prize calves
who must be protected from the wolves.
“I think that’s crap,” I said plainly. “You made a decision and
you think you know how it’s going to work out, because it worked
out for you. Well, what if it doesn’t work out for Cleo? What if
Benny doesn’t get over her?”
“Because I know Cleo. She will bounce back from this. I know
what she told you, but people feel much differently talking with
their friends than they do when they are staring death in the face.”
“Right, but you didn’t have to face Cleo’s mom. You and your
sister-queens risked a lot to save her. I get it, but you didn’t have to
eat all the food her father made us to keep himself busy. You didn’t
see her brothers forcing themselves to smile. You—” My voice
cracked. “You didn’t hear Cleo’s mom praying for her soul, praying
for us. You hide down here, and the rest of us—us humans—are
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dealing with the fallout. And what about Benny?” I asked again.
“Have you even talked to Benny?”
“I tried, but she shut me out.”
“I can’t force Benny to open up, but maybe someone a little
bit more powerful than me, someone with a connection may force
her to talk. Maybe that’s what she needs.” I stood and shoved my
laptop into my bag. “And you’re right about one thing. I’m not a
demon like you, but I know what Danni’s and Amy’s blood does
to me and I’m not completely one of them either. I’m stuck in the
fucking middle.”
After stomping into my boots, I grabbed my stuff and rushed
out the door. I didn’t care if it was dark out, I didn’t want a freaking
escort.
❖
Hot tears ran down my cheeks as I power-walked through
the snow. I needed someone to talk to, but someone who would
understand my side and someone who wasn’t involved in ABO. I
texted Mom.
Mila and I had a fight.
We’d had our birthday chat that morning, but she called me
right back. “What happened, sweetie?”
“Nothing. I-I just…I can’t really talk about it. I’m just so mad.”
“Can you tell me what she did? Did she hurt you?”
“No, no. Not like that. She did something that she thought was
right and I didn’t agree with her, but now we’re just not seeing eye
to eye.”
“Hmm, not a fun way to spend your birthday. Is it something
that makes you want to break up with her?”
“No…” I closed my eyes as the thought made my stomach
ache. I loved Camila so much. What little part of me was a vampire
needed her in my life, but why couldn’t she see how much Cleo and
Benny were hurting, how much she’d hurt me?
“Well, step away for a couple days. Take some time to deal with
your feelings. Study for your exams, but if you love her, sooner or
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later, you’ll have to forgive her. That’s just how love works, honey.
You can’t hold on to the anger or it kills everything around you. I
want to kill your dad sometimes, but in the end I still love him so.”
Of course she would get me to smile. I knew she was right, and
maybe Camila was too. There were things about being a demon that
I didn’t understand. Time did heal some wounds, and maybe if we
were all patient things would be okay. But Mom was right about one
other thing. I needed some space.
“No, you’re right. I think I’ll take a break.” I sighed heavily
and wiped my face. “Thanks, Mom. I’m going to go.” I climbed
steps to my dorm.
“Okay. Did you pick up your gifts?”
“Oh. No, I forgot. I’ll grab them on Monday.”
“Okay, sweetie. You call me back if you need to talk some
more. You wake me up if you have to. Your dad and I are here.” I
sniffled, nodding as if she could see me. We said our good-byes and
our I love yous. Talking to her helped some, though not completely.
As soon as I slid my phone into my pocket, I felt something behind
me. I slowly turned to see Faeth standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“She made me follow you.”
“Tell her I made it back in one piece. She doesn’t need to
worry.”
“She’ll worry until you come back,” Faeth said. “Trust me.”
I did.
I finished my paper and screened a few calls from Amy. I was
not in the mood for an impromptu kegger at the Iota house. After a
shower, I considered going to bed without another word to Camila,
but that small, petty part of me needed that bit of contact before
I went to sleep, that little jerk in me that would let her response
determine how much longer we needed to be apart.
Going to bed. I love you.
I wasn’t so mad that I wanted her to think I didn’t love her.
She texted back right away. I love you too, Red. I’m sorry.
I realized then, time was exactly what I needed.
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❖
The next morning I dragged myself to the library. I sat there
all day reviewing my stats notes and polishing my paper until my
chem study group showed up, four hours and seven chapters ago.
The whole time I was in a fog, more sad than angry, and frustrated
with myself that I couldn’t just forgive Camila right away. I’d been
ignoring her texts, but eventually we had to talk. After I aced this
stupid chem final.
“I’m cheating on this test,” Alison said. “No, I’m serious. Greg,
sit in front of me. I’m tattooing the periodic table on the back of
your neck.”
“Fine, but who am I going to cheat off of?” Greg asked with a
grim expression.
We were all going to do fine on our exam, but we were stressed
and exhausted. Some of us for reasons that had nothing to do with
preparing for this test.
“No one’s cheating. Let’s take a break. Then we’ll cover
sublimation,” Judd said.
“See. I’m so screwed. I don’t even know what that is,” Alison
said. Over the course of the semester, Judd had recruited Vince as a
smoking buddy. The two of them grabbed their jackets and headed
for the door. Alison trotted off to the bathroom.
I stared at my notes. I never got headaches, but I was on the
verge of giving myself one.
“Ginger.” I glanced up. Greg tipped his head toward the stairs.
“Jamal, we’ll be right back,” I told him. He n
odded, giving us
a two-figured salute off his temple before he went back to his two-
handed texting.
The stairwell was freezing, but it was nice compared to the
stuffy heat of the library. It was weird to be in there at night, in
the dead of winter. Only the lights from outside illuminated the
echoing space, but the darkness didn’t bother me enough to drive
me back inside to the maze of books and stressed out students. We
walked to the top and I stretched, gripping on to the railing. Still
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bent at the waist, I looked over the edge, down the rectangular
spiral.
If only jumping would get me out of my finals and not break
my neck.
Sighing, I looked up and gazed out the narrow window. The
map of lampposts lit a misty golden trail across campus. It was a
beautiful night, a night I should have been sharing with Camila. She
could have helped me study and then we could have taken a break
to do something silly like play in the snow together or make love.
Greg came forward and peered over the railing next to me.
“You okay?” he asked quietly. For the first time in days, I didn’t
feel someone was asking about Cleo.
“Yeah. I’m just tired. I’m so ready for this semester to be over.”
“Just four more days,” he said.
“And then we get to look forward to chem two.”
“True. At least we get a break.” Greg turned and leaned his back
against the whitewashed banister. “Then three weeks of fucking,
eating, and sleeping.”
“Yeah…” If Camila and I made up in those four days.
Greg was quiet for a moment. It was time for us to head back. I
stayed put as he moved toward the stairs. But then he stopped.
“We have some time right now,” Greg said with an odd hint of
suggestion in his voice.
“What?” I didn’t connect what he meant until his hands came
down on my hips and he ground his sudden erection against my ass.
I spun around and pushed him away. “What the fuck are you
doing?” His green eyes glinted there in the dark, lustful and a little
bit crazed. I didn’t know Greg all that well, but I had no clue who
this guy was.
“I said, we have some time right now.” He stepped forward and
his clammy palms gripped the sides of my neck. I tried to jerk my
head away, but his thumbs dug into my jaw. “I thought the sister-
queens liked to share,” he whispered, tilting my head back so he
could kiss me.
“Camila doesn’t. Stop!” I gave him another hard, useless
shove. Greg was tall, sure, but a lot more solid then he looked. He
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didn’t budge. Just stepped closer, trapping my arms between us, and
turned my head to lick my ear. He was hurting me now, gripping my
neck too hard, holding my head at an awkward angle. I thought of
the best way to hit his groin, the best way that wouldn’t get me hurt
even more in the process. I jerked my knee, but the railing caught
my ankle.
“What’s the big deal? Cleo didn’t mind sharing Andrew the
other night,” he said, kissing the corner of my mouth, grinding his
hard-on into my stomach. I gulped down the bile fighting to get out.
“Well, that’s between Cleo and Andrew. Greg! Get the fuck
off me!” I shoved him again, this time putting everything I had into
the weight behind my forearms, and this time he let go. But it was
way too little, way too late. There were so many fucked up things
about this situation, the least of which was him ignoring my no. I
was furious.
I made a move to punch him right in the nuts, but he jumped
out of the way and grabbed my wrist. I jerked my arm back, out
of his grasp, a bad move as I stepped backward toward the stairs.
I should have been paying attention to my surroundings, but I was
more concerned about getting away from my insane lab partner. My
foot slipped and I let out a panicked gasp in the process.
I didn’t fall, though. I caught a fistful of Greg’s shirt and
yanked myself back onto the landing. He gripped my elbows and
held me steady. We stared at each other for a second, both shocked
and relieved. It was that brief moment before Greg would have
apologized for getting too familiar, realizing I wasn’t playing hard
to get, and I would have vowed never to end up alone with him
again, right after I socked him in the balls.
And in the next moment, his expression shifted. A calm passed
over his brow, his dark green eyes soft and pleading just before his
jaw clenched with a flash of anger. His eyes narrowed. He smiled.
And then Greg pushed me, shoved me with every ounce of strength
he had, right off the top step.
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Chapter seventeen
The concrete and brick flipped past me in a quick blur. I
was blinded momentarily as I hit the middle step, my wrist
twisting under my back. My eyes snapped shut again when I hit
the next step. There was a thick crack somewhere in my arm. I bit
my tongue when I bounced to the landing, my head concussing off
the floor. I lay there, completely in shock, staring at the dark bricks
above me. I tried to sit up. It didn’t happen. I tried to move my
head to the side, but it didn’t budge. Only my eyes were working,
blinking open and closed, and I could hear.
Greg was gasping. “Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.” The muffled
sound of his voice mixed with the ringing in my brain.
I wanted Camila.
“What did you do?” Camila’s terrifying growl echoed through
the space.
A guttural whimper sounded somewhere above me and a
flapping sound and another muffled snap. Then Camila was beside
me. Her fingers brushed my forehead as she leaned over me.
“Talk to me, querida. Where does it hurt?” Her voice was harsh
and strained and her eyes were blazing. Her fangs blocked her mouth
from closing all the way. I tried to answer her, but nothing came out.
My tongue was too thick. Panic forced my mind open.
I can’t feel anything, but my head hurts, I told her. Help me.
She moved to cradle my head in her lap. My eyes closed as
she shifted me. I felt the dull pressure of her thigh on the back of
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my head, but I couldn’t feel the warmth of her body, the warmth I
always felt when she held me. She grumbled out a curse then bit
into her arm.
Her blood was flowing into my mouth before I even thought
to stop her. The cooling zing hit my lips, and as I swallowed, her
blood started working, doing exactly what it was supposed to do,
healing me, changing me. My vision cleared, bringing things into
sharp color and focus in the dimly lit space. I felt the stickiness
of my human tears, tears I didn’t remember crying, drying in the
corners of my eyes and on the side of my face.
And then my fangs came. My canine teeth widened and grew
longer.
A sharp shot of pain lingered as my upper teeth inched back
to make room. The gum and the bone shifted, new nerves grew
and connected. They came in full and large and I didn’t hesitate to
use them to get a firmer grip on Camila’s wrist. My tongue worked
against her skin, massaging the vein, driving more of her blood
down my throat.
Suddenly, we weren’t alone. I felt Rodrick’s inferior presence
before he appeared in the stairwell.
“What has happened?” he cried.
Camila whipped around in his direction and let out a feral snarl,
but she didn’t pull her wrist away. I didn’t stop drinking even though
my nose was suddenly burning. I smelled human urine. Greg’s and
mine.“Oh, Gregory,” Rodrick moaned. I lifted my head and stared up
at the pain written across Rodrick’s face. He held Greg, dead, in his
arms above us on the landing. Rodrick rocked him slowly, stroking
his face affectionately even though Greg’s head was twisted at an
awkward angle.
My eyes slid back to Camila’s face. She could feel the conflict
inside me, the relief and the rage. I wanted to hit her, to scream in
her face, but it was too late. We were bound now in a different way
as more of her blood gushed down my throat. With the break in my
arm healed, I reached up and touched her soft golden cheek.
“I’m sorry,” she told me, gripping my hand and kissing my
fingers.
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I didn’t answer. I couldn’t trust my own response.
Her lips pressed against my forehead, and the warm, always
gentle stroke of her fingers caressed my neck. “Just a little more.”
I swallowed another mouthful and I was finished. Healed.
Changed from human to demon-vampire, to sister-queen, completely.
I felt my connection to my other queens, each one of them
individually and as a whole, a bond only Dalhem could break. I felt
another level, another piece that made up what Camila and I were to
each other. Now she was my maker, and no matter what happened
between us, if I ever decided to turn my back on our relationship,
something the human side of me was now all in favor of, this piece
would remain. She would always be the one who created me, and I
would always be hers.
I gazed up at her, watching Camila as she sealed her wrist,
staring into her scorching eyes as she kissed me on my mouth,