Better Off Red

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  his face. “I’m glad I got to see you. You’re a beautiful girl, Ginger.

  Probably the only good thing to come out of Ian, that piece of shit. I

  had best be going. My queen-mistress needs me.”

  “I don’t—is there a way I can get in touch with you?” Seamus

  wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy, but if I never got to see my parents

  again, he was the only family I had. Him and Camila.

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  Better Off red

  “You’ve your cell phone on you?”

  “Actually, no.”

  “Here.” Camila held out her phone to Seamus.

  He took it and quickly entered his phone number. “Your

  Rodrick’s been looking for me for a while, I hear. I meant to come

  see you before your next school term, but here we are. My queen-

  mistress has her demands, but you’re my niece. You just call if you

  need me.”

  “Thanks. I—I will. Unc—Seamus, wait.” The word uncle felt

  weird to say, but there was one more thing I had to know.

  ‘“Yes?”

  “You exposed yourself to my mother as a vampire, but you

  never wiped her memory right? And she never became a feeder?”

  “That’s right.”

  “And your queen-mistress let you live, but was there some

  other punishment?”

  “Na, there wasn’t,” he said. “She knew I was saving the life of

  my love and my rightful wife. And the baby that should have been

  mine.”

  He nodded once more, tight-lipped, and then he was gone.

  I squeezed my eyes shut and let out a deep breath. Then I turned

  to Camila.

  “Let’s just—I have a lot I want to say, but not here.”

  “Okay,” she whispered hoarsely.

  I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her and we

  vanished through the night.

  • 311 •

  • 312 •

  Better Off red

  Chapter nineteen

  Camila was drained physically and emotionally. I wanted

  her fed and rested, but the moment we saw Samantha

  trembling in Natasha’s lap, my focus changed. A new sort of trauma

  had just begun for Sam. Camila and I hadn’t been gone that long,

  but it was long enough for Sam to start thinking about what had

  happened in the library stairwell.

  She was across the room, throwing her arms around me before

  I got out a single word of explanation to my sister-queens. I picked

  her up effortlessly and just as quickly, her legs went around my

  waist. Her emotions were all over the place, such a mess that it was

  almost impossible for me not to enter her mind. She was thinking

  of Greg, dead on the stairs. I had come to terms with his death the

  moment the asshole had shoved me. The most he’d ever been to

  me was a lab partner, and at the least, he was an insecure jerk who

  didn’t know how to watch his mouth. To Samantha, he’d been lover,

  tormentor, and her only human friend.

  I sank to the floor beside the couch and held Samantha’s

  trembling frame to me, cradling her head against my shoulder. It

  was slightly awkward because we were nearly the same height

  and build, but with my sudden strength, she didn’t weigh a thing.

  And even if she’d been heavy to me, I wouldn’t have set her down.

  Greg had hurt Sam, but somehow I felt responsible. We had all shut

  Samantha out at the beginning of the semester, simply because of

  her brutal, rude honesty. Maybe if I had just given her a chance, if

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  we’d tried to get to know her, she would have relied on us instead

  of Greg for support and comfort. I couldn’t take any of it back, but I

  could take care of her now.

  Still holding Sam, I had a brief meeting with my sister-queens,

  my first official act as head she-demon in charge. They understood

  immediately that the shift had taken place. There was some

  confusion, but they all accepted me as queen, no questions asked,

  knowing they’d get the details when things were a little less crazy.

  I made the decision to keep the girls in the dark about everything

  that had happened until the following morning, all but Barb. I’d need

  her to feed Camila tonight. I told them to let the girls know I was

  fine, but I didn’t plan on going anywhere until I heard from Dalhem.

  If anyone on campus asked, I’d gone home on a family emergency.

  It was up to Rodrick what he planned to tell the boys about Greg.

  My sister-queens offered, like they had with Cleo, to let me

  choose which of the girls I wanted to act as my feeders. I had been

  less than comfortable watching Natasha unbind herself from Sam. It

  didn’t feel right picking and choosing. For a moment, I considered

  who’d I be most comfortable with, but then I remembered the moment

  I tasted Sam’s blood. Previous comfort levels had absolutely nothing

  to do with the bond between demon and feeder. Even Andrew, who

  had seemed to be pretty devoted to Moreland. He’d latched on to

  Cleo so quickly and completely, it was as if they’d been bound

  together their whole lives. I cared for all the girls and would happily

  take the first two willing volunteers.

  Sam had no interest whatsoever in leaving my side. I needed

  her to at least try to get through the week. Greg was gone, and I was

  clearly going to be a no-show for my exams the next day. I hated the

  idea of forcing her to do anything, so we compromised, agreeing she

  would get some sleep if Camila and I let her stay in our apartment.

  After my sister-queens left, Camila and I got Samantha in the

  shower, and in my first real lesson in mind control, Camila showed

  me how to clear Sam’s mind. I was horrified at all the things I saw

  as I sorted through the memories that kept her heart racing. Her

  emotionally dismissive mother, images of her father, who, in spite

  of his kindness, was a clear spokesman for Too Distant Dads. And

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  then the parts of her that were clinging to Greg. She couldn’t believe

  he was gone, and I couldn’t believe after seeing the things he’d put

  her through, that she still loved him.

  For the time being, I erased his face from her mind, soothing all

  the pain, pinpricks, and deep gouges, with calm and peace. Camila

  and I watched her for a moment as she drifted off between our satin

  sheets, both of us a little lost on what we would do with her when

  the morning came. And I wondered what Sam would have done if

  she hadn’t followed us up the stairs, if Greg hadn’t pushed me. How

  long would she have gone on letting him hurt her? How long had

  Greg been hurting others?

  As if I’d asked the questions out loud, Camila took my hand.

  She showed me all the things Samantha hadn’t seen. The girlfriend

  Greg had beaten all through high school, the unwanted advances

  he’d made on Micah, the rough way he’d handled Andrew just the

  night before, and countless other instances where Greg had lost his

  cool and crossed some lines. And then there were things I hadn’t

  come close to expecting, like Greg’s deep self-loathing and
his

  obsessive feelings for me.

  Greg hated himself and instead of turning it inward, he let his

  rage out on anyone unfortunate enough to get close to him in any

  way. He’d pushed me off the stairs because I was secure in who I

  was. He pushed me because I was happy with my love and my life

  and he knew no amount of seduction, intimidation, or force would

  make me give in to him. He had wanted me all along, knowing he’d

  missed his chance or that he’d never had one.

  But no matter the reason for my death, Greg was a psychopath

  and all of us, in one way or another, had fed into his behavior.

  Whether it had been Rodrick’s refusal to see anything but the best

  in his feeders, Camila’s willingness to let Rodrick run his house the

  way he saw fit, or even my refusal to get involved simply because

  I didn’t like Greg and his attitude toward my relationship with

  Camila, the human in all of us had let the monster in Greg get away

  with near murder.

  “That’s why I killed him,” Camila’s voiced floated quietly in

  the dark. “I grabbed him, and his mind opened and I saw everything

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  reBekah WeatherspOOn

  he’d ever done, things Rodrick wouldn’t have known unless he’d

  done a complete mental strip. I know he wasn’t mine, but he was

  a monster. Like he said, Dalhem wanted justice for everyone. He

  wanted Greg to own up to what he did to Samantha in front of

  Rodrick and his father. I couldn’t let him get away with anything

  more.”

  Then something else occurred to me. “How come Natasha

  didn’t know what was going on with Sam?”

  “You saw the other things, with her family, you’ve seen how

  she is with you girls. Sam has always been hurting. She’s always

  been angry. The tone of her emotions was the same before Greg.

  Don’t ask Natasha about it, Red. She and Rodrick already feel like

  they’ve failed us all.”

  “I won’t,” I murmured into the darkness. “I’m still not sorry

  you killed him. Who shoves someone down a flight of stairs?” I

  chuckled harshly. Camila huffed back as I squeezed her hand tighter.

  It took a few breaths, a few moments in the dark silence, but

  a sense of calm settled around and in that calm, I was split in two.

  The demon in me felt strong and whole. I knew my place and what I

  must do. It longed only for Sam’s blood and her safety and Camila’s

  touch. My human side, the part that was still alive, was crying out. I

  would never see my family again.

  I pulled my hand out of Camila’s grasp and took a step away. I

  could see the pain in her eyes.

  “I love—I need some time.” I did love her, but I needed

  more than five minutes in a dark room to process what my life had

  become now that she was safe. I figured it would take a few years

  of mourning and searching for closure to find peace with my new

  life. I hoped it wouldn’t take as long to come to terms with Camila.

  She swallowed anxiously. “I’ll just be in the office.”

  “Okay.” I couldn’t ask her to stay. Still, it sucked to watch her

  go. I stood near the bed long after I heard the office door close, but

  eventually I climbed under the covers with Sam. She was warm and

  her body was an instant comfort, but she was a wild sleeper. I had

  to stop her from kicking me in the shins half a dozen times as she

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  Better Off red

  tossed and flopped around. When I spooned her body against mine

  and took a few passes at stroking her hair, she finally settled down.

  If only I could say the same for my over burdened mind.

  Figure it out. Figure out what you’re going to do, then go talk

  to her.

  There was nowhere for me to run. I couldn’t hide in my dorm

  room. I couldn’t go home. The ABO house was my home now. Even

  if I escaped to another sister-queen’s room, Camila was a part of

  me now. I knew exactly what Mom would say. Forgive her. She

  would tell me to embrace the change and to forgive Camila or I

  would poison everything we’d shared together. I would taint any

  chance of happiness in my new existence. Making things right with

  Camila was something I had to do, though at the moment I wanted

  something different.

  I wanted to call Todd and my parents, even though it was the

  middle of the night. I wanted to call my brother and thank him for

  finding me and thank my parents for loving me. I saw Cleo’s point

  even more now. I knew things would never be the same no matter

  what my master had to report, but I did want to say good-bye.

  Dalhem struck me as a punctual man, so I knew when he said

  thirty-six hours, thirty-six hours was what he meant. We’d returned

  from his house a little before eleven p.m. I expected to hear from

  him no later than eleven a.m. Tuesday morning. And between now

  and then I would get on with my immortal life and let the rest—let

  my family—go. I had no other choice.

  ❖

  Just before two a.m., Benny showed up at the door. I left Sam

  sleeping and let her in.

  “I didn’t walk over here alone,” she said as we walked to the

  couch. “Faeth picked me up.”

  “I’ll have to thank her. Your step-dad is pretty…interesting.”

  “Did you see his wings or his talons?” She chuckled quietly.

  “No. But the horns and the teeth. I definitely saw those.”

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  reBekah WeatherspOOn

  Benny frowned and leaned a little closer. “He is good, Ginger. I

  know he’s intense, but he is good. He’s just…not human.”

  I sighed sadly. I had no ill will toward Dalhem, and there was

  no need for her to think I did.

  “I know. It wasn’t him, Benny. It was the situation. I understand

  he was just doing his job.”

  “Where’s Camila?”

  I pointed over my shoulder to the office. “We’re…taking a

  break.”

  “Faeth told me a few things in the car. That night in the hospital

  you couldn’t have saved Cleo.”

  “I see that now. The bond is much stronger from this end. I

  should have listened to Camila.” I stopped myself before my mind

  started with an impossible game of what if.

  “It’s not just that. Cleo had a year or two tops before her

  relationship with her mother fell apart. She was going to come out

  after graduation and her mother would have disowned her. And

  believe me, her church loves to make examples of homosexuals.

  My parents were already planning to support her. I figured if she

  became a demon it would soften the blow of her family’s rejection.

  She just wanted to hold on to this charade she had going with them a

  little longer.” Cleo has almost said as much that day in the mall, but

  part of me thought she was just afraid to tell her mom she was gay. I

  never thought her family would actually kick her out.

  “But my family, my mom, they knew about me. They wanted

  to meet Camila. I need them, Benny. I need my family.”

  “You still have a family. You don’t have to go through this />
  alone. You have me and Amy. You have Sam. You have the sister-

  queens, a house full of sorority girls. Rodrick and the brother-kings

  are always around, and you have Camila.”

  Finally, I let myself cry. I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

  Everything Benny was saying made sense, but I wasn’t ready to

  accept the truth. Benny walked over to the bar and came back with

  some napkins. They were black, but I knew as I wiped my face they

  were now stained blue.

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  Better Off red

  “Dalhem told me all humans get three chances at life, but most

  of the time we don’t see them as opportunities, just obstacles. The

  time isn’t right for me and Cleo. Her problem is with me, not the life

  of a demon. Don’t let this stand between you and Camila. She loves

  you more than I think you know.”

  “I know. This just—” I laughed humorlessly. “This sucks.”

  “What’s it really like?” I figured Dalhem could tell her

  everything she’d ever want to know about being a vampire, but

  Dalhem had never been human.

  I sat back and wiped my face again. “I like the teeth. A lot.”

  Benny smiled when I opened my mouth, letting my fangs grow to

  their full length. I hissed at her playfully, giggling myself before

  I sheathed them. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about food in a

  while. I should be tired, but I’m not. Blood tastes really good.”

  “Cool.”

  “It’s just weird. I don’t feel like I’ll ever be myself again.”

  “You won’t, but that’s the point of college. To grow up and

  change,” Benny said.

  “Literally. Listen. Sam’s here, but do you want to stay?”

  “Yeah. I think Samantha’s in need of a second chance too.”

  I waited for Benny to kick off her boots and her jeans. She

  climbed into bed with Sam without a moment’s hesitation. Minutes

  after they cuddled together, Benny was out like a light. I watched

  them for a few minutes more, gathering up the courage to take

  Benny’s advice.

  ❖

  “If I asked you to take me somewhere, would you?” I said

  quietly. Camila stood from her office chair.

  “Of course. Where—” I didn’t blink as I shared my thoughts

  with her, showing Camila my mind’s image of where exactly I

  wanted to go. Sadness clouded her face, but she held out her hand

  for me. In the next breath, I was in Camila’s arms. I shuddered as