Hold Me: Delos Series, 5B1

by Lindsay McKenna

  “Have you gotten your room yet?

  Cletus removed his hat and held it in his long, thick fingers, allowing it to hang at his side. “No, not yet. I wanted to make sure we were at the right place.”

  “The clerk downstairs said the room was being held in our name,” Amber volunteered. She had a large red and white knit purse with a canvas strap hanging over her shoulder.

  “Okay, that’s great. Please sit down and relax a bit. The bathroom is over there if you need it. I’m going to go next door and get my grandpa. I’ll be right back. Just make yourselves at home, please.”

  Callie saw how stressed they were and hesitated. “We just got back from seeing Beau for the first time.” She saw Amber halt, fear in her gray eyes. “And he’s fine,” she added quickly. “He was awake for about five minutes and then dropped off to sleep. The doctors said he’d sleep a lot at first.”

  Amber squeezed her hands. “Our boy is fine? Really?”

  “Yes, he’s doing well, Nurse Evans said. Beau knows you’re arriving tonight and that you’ll see him tomorrow at ten a.m., when visitor’s hours begin.” She saw Amber’s face crumple and huge tears well up in her eyes. Her husband squeezed his wife’s shoulders to comfort her.

  “See? I told you Beau was as tough as a mean ole mule.” He grinned over at Callie. “That’s the best news you could’ve given us, Ms. McKinley.”

  “Call me Callie, please. Let me get my grandpa and we’ll be right back!”

  *

  April 6

  Callie and Graham stood back the next morning as they walked in and pointed out Beau to his parents at the hospital. She stood there watching Beau’s mother, now wearing a bright red and yellow calico dress, lean down and carefully kiss her son on the left side of his unshaven cheek. Beau looked a lot like his mother down to the gray eyes they shared. She saw Cletus, who had also changed clothes, dressed in what she thought might be his best Sunday church clothes, stand back, tears in his eyes as his wife carefully touched Beau’s face. Tears burned in her eyes, too, and she looked up at Graham, who was smiling faintly.

  “This is so wonderful,” she confided to him, her voice wobbling.

  “It is, honey. Nothing like the love of your family around you when you’re hurting. Beau looks better this morning; don’t you think?”

  Nodding, Callie watched as Amber moved away to allow her husband to move beside Beau’s bed. She was deeply touched when Cletus ran his thick, work-worn hand over his son’s hair, lean down, and place a kiss on his brow. Tears warmed her cheeks but she didn’t care if anyone saw them. She had always known from the way Beau spoke about his family, that they were close. Now, she was seeing it firsthand and it made her heart swell with love for all of them. This was going to be her new family once she married Beau.

  “You know,” Graham said quietly to her, “they’re fine people. We had a good talk with them last night.” He looked down at Callie. “And you did a lot to make them rest easy that Beau was doing fine. That was the right thing to do. I’m proud of you, Callie.”

  She gripped his hand, squeezing it hard. Callie didn’t know what she’d do without him right now. He was built tall and strong like Cletus Gardner, and both men were the same height and shoulder breadth. One was a Marine sniper, the other a skilled furniture maker. “Amber looked so distraught, but I don’t blame her. If it hadn’t been for your calls to them after he was wounded, they wouldn’t have known anything. That would have been horrible stress on them, not knowing.”

  “Yes. After someone’s been wounded, too little information can send you to hell. But, if you’re given a bit more, it can keep you from going there,” Graham agreed grimly. “I was glad to be able to do it for them. They’re suffering enough.”

  Her heart had turned over with sympathy when she’d seen Beau’s parents fussing over him. When his parents were near, she saw a flush appear on his cheeks. She remembered how much she’d looked forward to coming back to the Eagle Feather Ranch after nearly being killed by the Taliban. There really was no place like home.

  “Hey,” Graham said, leaning over, catching her gaze. “What’s say we go to the nurse’s station and see what we can find out about Beau’s progress? Let him have some quality time with his mom and dad?”

  Eagerly, she nodded, and turned and slipped out of the ward with her grandfather.

  Nurse Evans lifted her hand in greeting as they drew close to the busy U-shaped nurse’s station. A number of nurses were going on and off shift. “He’s looking better this morning,” she said to Callie as they drew up to the counter. Glancing at the computer, Evans retrieved his stats. “Blood pressure is normal now.” She looked up at Callie. “That’s your doing, Ms. McKinley,” she grinned.

  “I’ll gladly take the blame,” Callie said. “Can you tell us anything about when Beau will be released from here?”

  “Sure,” Evans said, sitting down at the computer. She studied the screen and then reported, “The doctor saw him this morning at 0600. The dressing was changed and he was pleased with his healing progress. In his notes, he says that Sergeant Gardner could be released seven days from now provided he continues to make this kind of recovery progress.”

  Graham asked, “And they’re sending him home to his family?”

  “Yes, sir. There’s a VA hospital forty miles south of his home and they’ll be receiving him on an outpatient basis.” She pressed her finger to the screen. “They’ve already assigned him a primary care physician, Dr. Jacob Lincoln, along with a follow-up appointment.” Looking up at them, she said, “Sergeant Gardner will have a release conference with me and I’ll be giving him a packet of papers and information to carry with him to that VA hospital when he goes to see Dr. Lincoln. There are also instructions on how to keep his incision clean and dry, as well as prescriptions for pain medicine and an antibiotic, and all other necessary information.”

  “So,” Graham asked, frowning, “as soon as he gets home, he has to make another trip down to the VA?”

  “No, sir. He’ll have his first appointment two weeks after his arrival home. It will already be in the computer system. So long as someone can drive him to Dunmore, things should go as planned.”

  “I can drive,” Callie said firmly, giving her grandfather a glance. She saw him give her a pleased look.

  “Good enough. We don’t recommend flying for a lung patient because of the altitude and pressure it exerts on their lungs. Is someone going to drive him home?”

  “We’ll have to talk to Beau’s family,” Callie said.

  “Okay, do that and have either them or you get back to me,” Evans said.

  “We can do that.”

  “In another thirty minutes he’s due to get up and walk the square again,” she said, motioning to the halls that lead to and from the desk area. “We’re now getting him up every hour he’s awake to take him for a walk around the square, going a little farther each time. It keeps blood clots from forming in his lungs and it forces him to breathe more deeply, which is very important for his recovery.”

  “Can we help with that with him?” Callie asked. “Because I’ll be with him at his home helping to take care of him after he gets out of here.”

  Evans looked at Graham. “Here at the hospital, you need to have your grandfather with you while walking with Beau. That way, if he suddenly gets dizzy or trips, someone big enough is there to help steady and catch him so he doesn’t fall and injure himself further.”

  “We can do that,” Graham promised.

  *

  April 6

  “How are you doing?” Callie asked Beau. It was nearly time for visitors to leave. Cletus and Amber had just left for the day. She and Graham had returned in the late afternoon, giving him and his parents quality time together earlier. As she searched his murky gray eyes, she could see he was exhausted. It showed in the tightness of the flesh across his cheekbones.

  “Whipped,” Beau admitted, lying back against the raised bed, seeking her fingers and wrapping
them in his.

  “It’s been a hectic day for you.”

  “My folks have never gone through anything like this before, Callie.”

  “None of us have.”

  “That’s true, but it has hit them in a way that they’re now more aware of my brothers, Coy and Jackson, being in danger all the time, too. My ma, particularly, has been set back by me getting shot. Now she’s worrying a lot more about them.”

  She met and held his half-closed eyes, realizing Beau was going to drop off suddenly and go to sleep. “Your mother is stressed out, but I think she’ll be okay,” she murmured, moving her fingers along his hand.

  “Yeah … I’m tired, Callie …”

  “Close your eyes. I’ll sit here with you until 1700, when visiting hours are over.” She saw one corner of his mouth weakly hook upward.

  “I love you, Callie. You know that, don’t you?”

  Compressing her lips, she whispered, “I love you more than life itself, Beau. I’m here for you and I will always be loyal to you. You were loyal to me out there when we were running for our lives. You never quit. You took a bullet for me. I know just how much you love me,” she encased his hand between hers, “sweet dreams, my lovely man.”

  Sighing, Beau whispered, “Sweet dreams of you …”

  She sat there watching him quickly drop off that invisible cliff of sleep, his breath shallowing out, his hand going limp within hers. She gently laid it beside him and stood, drawing up the covers so he’d be warm. Leaning over, she pressed a kiss to Beau’s lined brow, inhaling his male scent, allowing it to feather through her and make her heart beat a little harder.

  Straightening, Callie thought of how much Beau had taken after his mother. They had the same color of eyes and an oval face. He had his father’s black hair, his love of teasing, and his ability to get a smile out of her. He reminded her so much of Beau, who had taken the best from both his parents. She lay her hand on his light green cotton gown, feeling Beau’s inherent strength as a man.

  Today she’d seen him rally even more than yesterday. Sadly though, the other nine men in the ward had not received any visitors. The orderlies and other medical personnel became their emotional lifelines, instead. They were as wounded as Beau was, or worse, and she could see the depression and loneliness written in every one of their young faces. So many broken dreams here. So many dreams destroyed by an IED or a bullet.

  Her gaze swept Beau’s relaxed face. He had people who loved him fiercely right here at his bedside. His parents were devoted and kind. Her grandfather felt Beau would heal up faster than usual because of that confluence of people who had supported him after getting shot. Callie believed Graham.

  She moved her fingertips lightly across the surface of Beau’s cotton gown, absorbing his strong, calm face. He was not model good looking, but she’d never been drawn to the pretty boys who had perfect faces. Beau had a rugged, interesting looking face, his eyes held kindness and the drawl in his voice always soothed her. Any man who could change a baby’s diapers and clean out the diaper pail was stellar in her universe, and she smiled faintly, remembering him doing that at Hope Charity in Kabul.

  Wanting a lifetime with Beau, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore. A bullet had changed the trajectory of their lives, quite literally. Once, it had been neatly laid out when he’d left her family after the Christmas holiday. Now, four months later, change was all Callie knew. That bothered her a lot because she was someone who did better with a fixed day-in and day-out routine. She wasn’t flexible like her big sister, Dara, who was highly adaptable.

  Beau was like Dara in that respect and Callie wished she could be more like them, but she couldn’t. What lay ahead of them? How long would this injury hamper his life? Would it hinder Beau the rest of his life or not? In what way? Callie just didn’t know and wished she did.

  She’d tried to find his doctor here at the center but that was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. The nurses couldn’t answer most of her questions because it was the doctor’s role to give her those answers. Feeling frustrated, she kissed Beau’s cheek and then gathered up her purse and jacket. Outside, there had been warm April showers all day.

  She smiled goodbye to several of the men in their beds. Her heart ached for them and Callie wished she could do or be something for them, too, but it wasn’t in the cards. Pushing through the doors of the ward, she saw her grandfather standing near the nurse’s station, talking to a new nurse supervisor on duty now. He’d managed to find out a lot more about Beau’s condition and the changes that were coming into his life shortly. He looked up, meeting her eyes. Excusing himself from the nurse, he met her.

  “Beau sleeping now?” he asked.

  “Yes, he dropped off the cliff again,” she said, glad that he was helping her on with the jacket over her lightweight pink sweater.

  “He’ll do that for about a week or two until he starts getting his feet under him. Hungry? There’s a Bob Evans restaurant nearby. Are you ready for some home cooking?” he asked, walking with her to the bank of elevators.

  “I am,” she said. “We need to call Mom and Dad when we get back to our rooms.”

  “They appreciate your nightly calls,” Graham said, placing his hand in the small of her back as they stepped into the elevator.

  “Have you talked to Grandma lately?”

  “Yep, a little while ago. She’s a good foreman,” and he chuckled. “All the wranglers have returned to the ranch full time, and everyone is getting the ranch up to speed after that hard winter. All’s well on that front.”

  They walked out onto the main floor, many civilians as well as military people were coming and going. Graham walked at her side, the crowds heavy, people hurrying and cutting in and out. As they reached the doors, Callie breathed in the April air that was damp from a recent rain. The sky was patches of gray clouds with blue sky peeking out between them. The trees were budding in their green finery for the coming spring, and the lawn was manicured and neatly cut as they walked down the wet sidewalk toward the parking lot. It felt good to inhale fresh air. She was sure Beau missed it as much. He was a country boy at heart.

  “How do you think Cletus and Amber are adjusting to city life here?”

  Graham’s mouth quirked. “Their flank is pretty well overexposed to tell you the truth. Remember? They live on a big, wooded mountain surrounded by state and national forest. They’re rural people. Cletus is pretty easygoing, but Amber is high strung by all the hustle and bustle of a city like this.” He guided her down a wet asphalt row where hundreds of cars were parked in long lines.

  “I really like them, Grandpa.”

  “That’s good, because they’re going to be your in-laws, Callie.”

  She frowned. “Grandpa, you said getting hit by a bullet changed you. I worry about how it will change Beau.”

  Giving her a sidelong glance, Graham halted at the rental car and clicked the key fob to open the doors. “You worried he’ll not want to marry you?”

  As always, her grandfather got to the heart of things in a hurry. He opened the passenger side door for her and she climbed in. Smoothing her light blue wool slacks with her hand, she waited until he slid in and shut the door. “Yes, I do worry about that … and about his falling out of love with me one day.”

  Snorting softly, Graham started the car and backed out. “If loving or not loving someone hinged on a bullet, then it wasn’t love to begin with.” He drove down the long row slowly until they were at a crossroads. Looking both ways, he eased out into the rush hour traffic around the medical center, which was bumper to bumper.

  “I feel like he still loves me, but I’m scared, Grandpa. Scared that somehow, this changes how he sees me. Sees us …”

  Drawing in a breath, Graham said, “His healing is going to take time, Callie. He almost died, and believe me, almost dying will change us. He’s going to have nightmares about this and PTSD symptoms, for sure. He’s going to go up and down like a barometer emotionally for month
s to come.”

  “You went through this.”

  “Yes, I did. And your grandmother was at her wits end sometimes with me because I was swinging emotionally back and forth like a yoyo,” he said. “I never doubted for a moment that I didn’t love her, but she had a man she thought she knew come home to her very changed, and unlike the person she used to know. She thought for the longest time I no longer loved her. It was a very hard time for both of us.”

  Clasping her hands in her lap, Callie stared at the traffic all around them. “Did you ever want to split up? Quit?”

  He held her gaze. “Yes, several times. I won’t lie to you, Callie, this is going to be a rough road for you both. But you have McKinley genes and you’re strong as titanium. What you have to do is be there for him when he needs you. Listen to him. Ask a lot of questions. Don’t assume anything because if you do, you’ll probably be wrong and that’s going to create all kinds of stress and anxiety between the two of you.

  He’s going to connect you with other events and people in his past he can depend on when he’s tired, stressed, hurting, and feeling death stalking him again. He’ll know that you are there, steady, and strong for him. It’s not an easy hurdle to leap. Nor is it easy to appear to be strong all the time, because you won’t be. No one can do that. So, it’s a lot of ups and downs. The best thing you can do is talk a lot. If you don’t? It could split any couple apart.”

  “Was Grandma the one who wanted to give up?”

  “No, it was me, Callie. I was so deep into my own pig wallow, so blinded by all that I’d seen and lived through, that I was lost for a good year or more. I was black ops just like Beau. And he’s seen just as much as I have. This wound he nearly died from is going to rake him over Hell itself. And you’re going to have to be there for him. But it’s hard, honey. So damned hard.”

  CHAPTER 5

  April 17

  Beau listened to the plop, plop, plop of raindrops falling from the mid-April sky on the cabin sitting on Black Mountain. The cedar shakes on the roof were absorbing most of the sound. He lay partially sitting up, each breath painful. Closing his eyes, feeling the utter exhaustion of the last two weeks, he was glad to finally be home. It had taken his parents driving him home to get here, four days after being released from the military hospital. This small guest cabin had one bedroom and was about a thousand square feet, all told. His father had built it when he was in his late teens.