Scent of the Heart

by Parker Williams

  “Burns, doesn’t it? It’s cleansing you. I’d like to think it’s a way to purify you to move on, and for your sake, I hope so. As far as I’m concerned, I don’t care if it heals you or destroys you. Know that your son is going to be looked after and treated as best as Jake and Zak can. You gave him life, but you could never have provided him with anything else.”

  Kell’s fingers tensed, and he fell to the ground, his body quaking. Flames began to spread over his body and Casey could not pull his gaze away as they consumed the man who had done so much damage to so many people.

  “Be worthy of the next life, Kell.”

  Then he chanted some words he’d found on an ancient scroll and Kell exploded in a ball of fire and energy. Casey turned his attention back to the oozing mass and smiled.

  “Showtime, Elizar. Round three. Fight.”

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Casey walked the outside perimeter of the mass, uncertain how to deal with it. He could try to put a sachet inside, but he didn’t want to touch it. He remembered the awful experience of nearly being absorbed by the damn thing the last time.

  “Is this all that’s left of you, Elizar? A formless black blob. That must really piss you off. You almost had everything, but my mate’s sacrifice tore it away. Your life has been nothing but a series of disappointments. I can only imagine how angry that must make you. First Zak killed you, then Sev’s parents made a bargain to keep you from what you wanted, and finally Sev himself denied you what you thought was your birthright.

  “I want to say I’m doing this for him, you see. Nothing would make me happier than to tell you it’s for noble reasons. For him and Hakiim and everyone you hurt, but I have to be honest; this is mostly for me. The best outcome is that we kill each other. It would be nice to move on. I hope Sev is there waiting for me, but even if he isn’t, you took anything I had to go back to.”

  The mass shuddered and Casey imagined it was Elizar laughing at his pain.

  “You thrive off pain, I know. Because you were such a miserable piece of crap in life, you need it in death. I have to wonder what your childhood was like. Did your parents not love you enough? Or maybe they could see the evil in you and threw you out. I can only imagine the shame you brought to them. Or were they the first ones you killed?

  “I guess it doesn’t matter, because one way or another, it ends today. Or it would if you were man enough to face me.”

  “Caaaaaasey…”

  Fingernails on a chalkboard could not have freaked him out more. The voice was ancient and worn, and seemed to come from everywhere. The mass shuddered again, then seemed to fade slightly, as if seen through a thick plate glass window. A man appeared from nowhere, and Casey turned his attention to the newcomer.

  “If we’re on a first name basis, don’t you think I should know who you are?”

  “We do not interfere in lives unless we believe they have gone off the path that has been set for them. You have strayed. You seek retribution, and that is not our way.”

  “Not our way?” Casey screamed, his hands flailing in the air. “Who are you to say that?”

  “Search your heart. It will tell you who we are.”

  Casey knew, but didn’t want to admit it. It was easier when he thought them to be superstition, even if he’d always believed they were real.

  “If you want to talk to me, at least have the decency to let me see you.”

  The air around him shimmered and coalesced into a vaguely familiar form. “Will this satisfy your need?”

  Casey stepped closer and peered at the figure. “You remind me of my grandfather.”

  “Perhaps I was at some point,” the old man said, a knowing grin playing on his lips. “Tell me, why do you wish to destroy Elizar?”

  Casey couldn’t bear to look at the man, so he turned and began pacing. Anything to avoid the gaze that he knew saw inside his heart.

  “He killed Hakiim, then he took my heart mate from me. Does that mean nothing to you? You say it’s not our way, but then maybe you should explain to me what is. Because from where I’m sitting, all I see is a murderer you allowed to get away with what he did for decades. Now you sit in judgment over me, but where were you for all those years he wantonly killed innocent children? Did you step in and save them? No. Or is it that you have no real power and are just goddamn figureheads?”

  “You know of our power. People make their own paths. Hakiim knew where his would lead him, but he still followed it. Tsvetok willingly sacrificed himself to save others. Is there a greater good than that? Will you follow their noble path, or will you instead take that tread by Elizar?”

  “We’re nothing alike!” Casey shrieked.

  “I believe Kell would differ. What you did to him was no less harsh than any punishment Elizar had ever doled out. You ask why we did nothing, and we believe you deserve an answer. Since time immemorial, men have prayed to the gods to save them. The answer has always been the same: No. We do nothing not because we are cruel, but because man would never have crawled from the primordial ooze if he did not have to overcome something. No one grows if they are given everything. It may seem cruel, but it is the way of the universe.”

  “Then the universe sucks. These people begged you for aid. They needed help, and you turned your back on them.”

  “Did we? Are you so certain of that? Your friend Jake had dreams of terrifying events. Hakiim told him those never came to pass, and that is the truth. Why did those events never occur? Was it happenstance? Or was there a nudge in the proper direction that enabled his caretakers to save the Alpha and his Protector? Were those who watched the Protector simply lucky that you provided him with exactly what he needed to keep his humanity? And what of you, Shaman? When you met Hakiim, do you think it coincidence that he recognized your abilities? Or were there forces at work before that?

  “You may think us cruel, but we never abandoned our charges. We care for them, and we grieved with them at the loss of life. Dark times are coming, Caaasey. Will you be there to help your people, or will you instead satisfy your blood urge and abandon them in their hour of need?

  “Your Alpha understands duty. It must come before self-service. It is a hard lesson to learn, and Zakiya has had to withstand much loss in order to realize it. Where does your duty lie, Caaaasey Scott? Is it to your heart or to your people?”

  “So what am I supposed to do? Walk away and let him continue using my people as his personal life force? How can I leave, knowing that I would be abandoning them to an eternity of this leech?”

  “You are so young, Shaman. There is so much you have yet to learn. Would that we could return Hakiim to you so that he could provide you guidance. Unfortunately you must travel this path without his aid.”

  “And my heart? Can you return that to me?”

  “Your heart is where it’s always been. You are simply blinded by facts as you perceive them, not necessarily as they truly are. Always remember, with age will come wisdom.”

  Casey heard the edge of anger to his voice, but he refused to be cowed. “I won’t leave Elizar here to continue feeding. I can’t. It might cost me my soul, but you’re asking too much.”

  “No one would ask that of you. It is expected that you stop him.”

  “But you said—”

  “We said vengeance is not your path. Justice is another matter entirely. Though the two need not always be different; it matters what’s in your heart. With Kell, you could have simply destroyed him, but you offered him the opportunity for redemption. You gave him a choice. Will you do this with Elizar, or will you simply destroy him in the vain hope that it will heal you?”

  “He killed Sev!” Casey cried out, stalking angrily away from the spirit.

  “Did he? Or did Tsvetok choose to follow his own path? Answer me this, Caaaasey Scott: did Elizar strike him down?”

  He turned and opened his mouth to argue, but then caught himself. He took a moment to clear his thoughts and calm his anger. “No. Sev made his choice, even k
nowing what it could cost him and his family. He chose to sacrifice them in order to save everyone else.”

  “Your heart is most noble, Shaman. Why would you think you are bereft of that?”

  Casey grabbed his hair and tugged. “I can’t feel him anymore. There’s a hole where he was. I’m empty.”

  “Is that so? You feel nothing? Yours is a heart that has no feelings, either for itself or others? Elizar himself provided you with the truth, but you have yet to discern it.”

  Casey stopped in his tracks. The words caused his heart to stutter.

  “Please,” Casey whispered desperately, “if you ever do anything for me, tell me what you’re talking about. I’ll get on my knees and beg you if you want.”

  “No, that is not necessary. But answering your question is something we simply cannot do, Caaaaasey. You must look inside to see the truth that your heart is where it’s always been.”

  He knew his heart beat, because without it, he would be dead. But there was a hollowness that seemed to be insurmountable. He ran his fingers over his chest, surprised when he encountered the tether that he used to save himself and Jake when Elizar tried to—

  He spun to face the old man. “The tether. It’s the goddamn tether, isn’t it?”

  He got a kindly smile in return. “What is your link to this life, Caaaaasey?”

  “Sev,” he answered without hesitation.

  “And he is gone. Yet the tether still exists. Do you not find this perplexing?”

  Casey grasped the tether that was lodged in his chest and pulled. It grew taut, and he knew there was something on the other end.

  “Is this Sev?” he pleaded.

  “We know you have had to do much on your own. We understand how difficult it has been for you, and we wish there was something we could do to correct that. You have impressed us, however. Your thirst for knowledge has only been superseded by your compassion for your people. We will grant you one boon, however—”

  “Bring Sev and his brothers back. Please. I will give you anything you want. Take me in their place, but please let him come back,” he begged.

  “Again, you speak but do not listen. Your heart is where it has always been, and that will not change. No, the boon we speak of is to tell you of your nature. To explain to you that which you need to know. To understand some of what makes you the shaman.”

  The old man gestured and a stump grew from the ground. He sat on it, looking frail but regal at the same time.

  “Pull up a stump, Caaaaasey.”

  Casey attempted the same act as the man, but nothing happened, which caused the old man to chortle.

  “It’s easier than it looks, believe me.” Another quick hand movement, and a second stump appeared. Casey sat and turned his complete attention back to the man who had intrigued him.

  “You know the story of the Alpha and Protector. How one cannot exist without the other. Though it doesn’t hold true for the shaman, there are benefits to finding your heart mate. A true shaman, such as yourself, is a powerful advocate for nature. He communes with it and it with him. Before you met Tsvetok, he had a conversation with the Protector. Would you like to know what was said?”

  To hear Sev’s words? “Hell yes.”

  Another gesture and a shimmering cloud appeared. Jake stood there with Sev, who appeared to be agitated about something.

  “Why are you showing me this?”

  “Listen and heed the words. They will tell you more effectively than we could.”

  Casey turned his full attention to the scene unfolding in front of him. Sev was talking to Jake, and Casey strained to hear every word.

  "I never thought about having a man in my bed before, but that one is my mate. I watch him in the evenings as he toils in the garden. He seems happy, but his body language says otherwise. He’s sad, and I want to gather him up and fix him. He speaks to the stars, did you know that?”

  Jake shook his head.

  “I believe they answer him, even if he’s not truly aware yet. When he talks, the stars seem to become brighter. They sing to him as well, I believe, and it calms his angst. As far as I know, they’ve never sung to anyone else. Our former shaman did not possess that gift. I know he’s not of our people by birth, but within him I sense incredible power and such a good heart that it brings me shame.

  “Our people believe it is spirits of those who go before us which guide us to know who our one true love is to be. We shall know them by their scent. That one is mine. He smells of the forest. Rich and earthy. He intoxicates me as no other ever has. When I’m around him, I can’t think. I see him and all I know is that he is meant to be mine.

  The clouded image faded and Casey wanted to plead for it to come back.

  “Your mate knew you better than you know yourself. He watched you. Tsvetok told the Protector that you spoke to the stars and that they answered you. It’s true, you know. We do answer you. We sensed the anxiety buried in your core, and we sang to you, hopeful that it would soothe you.”

  Casey stood. “I heard the song. I thought it was in my head. A memory from long ago.”

  “It was. This was not the first time we sang to you. When your father told you that you were less than you should be, we sang to you in the night so you would not feel alone. We guided you to Jake, knowing the two of you would complete each other, even if your hearts would ultimately belong to others. You are very much of our people, Caaaasey, do not ever doubt that.

  “A shaman is a whole complete person. He is not like the Protector or the Alpha who cannot exist without the other. As your experiences have taught you, there would be no reason you could not have found a mate on your own. You certainly did try to practice enough.”

  The old man cackled, and Casey couldn’t help but laugh with him.

  “Still your destiny would lead you here, to this place, and to where something more awaited you. Tsvetok is more than your heart mate. You believed that it was the Protector who provided you with strength when you were in our realm. And, to a point, you were right. But there is another who will grant you abilities that you have not even dreamt of yet.

  “Tsvetok is your spirit animal. He who will stand by your side and provide you with strength to face any challenge, spiritual or real world, that comes your way. By now you’ve discerned your mate is not gone. There is no way to sever the link that exists between you. Should you or he die, you will still be a part of one another. That is our way.”

  Casey’s pulse quickened. “He’s not dead?”

  “He exists in the limbo space Elizar created. In an effort to protect their family, a deal was made with Elizar; Tsvetok’s parents sacrificed themselves after extracting an oath that their children would be safe. In exchange, they became the first souls Elizar gained dominion over. Through them his power grew. It was something they had not foreseen, but Elizar didn’t tell them the whole truth either. Regardless, a bargain was struck, and Tsvetok, along with Mikhail and Vadim, still exist, if you can find them and bring them home.”

  Casey ran his fingers over the tether in his chest. “Sev has always been my tether. It was that which saved me from Elizar in the first place.”

  A smile and a nod were his only replies. Casey gripped the tether and pulled, the slack quickly tightening. He continued to pull with all his might until he saw the tether disappeared inside the Elizar mass.

  “He’s inside Elizar?” Casey growled.

  “Elizar is now this realm. You see nothing because Elizar is all.”

  “No, he isn’t. I see you and you see me, so there is more than Elizar.”

  The old man cackled. “Very good. We made the right decision when we picked you. Your father will never understand the gift he threw away.”

  For a moment, Casey was stunned. “Picked me?”

  “Indeed. There is something special about you, Caaaaasey. Something you have yet to figure out, but when the time comes, it will be amazing. As I said, dark times are nearing. You will need to protect your heart, and th
ose close to it. That is, of course, if you choose to move back to your path. Will you act for justice or vengeance?”

  “Like you told me, it’s a fine line. Elizar has to pay for his crimes against our people, but I won’t be his judge, jury, and executioner. That’s not my role.”

  The old man’s smile widened. “No, it’s not. Elizar has been a plague for far too long. We waited for you, because it is a shaman’s duty to excise the disease for the good of his people. We entrust you with this responsibility, Caaaaasey. We grant you permission to deal with Elizar however you deem necessary.”

  “Do you hear that, Elizar?”

  “Oh, he hears nothing. We are outside of his reality. We will return shortly, but we wanted you to understand that your heart has not left you. While we may seldom interact with your people, we always watch over them. Yours is a rare case. In fact, there is nothing about Zakiya, Jacob, or you that is normal. You and your family are to be our greatest gift to your people.”

  The old man stood, his bones creaking. “I don’t understand how people enjoy being this old,” he complained. “Everything hurts.”

  “That means you’re alive. The alternative isn’t all that great.”

  Weathered fingers stroked Casey’s cheek and kindly eyes twinkled. “No matter what else occurs, I want you to know this, Caaaaasey: you are a very special man. There is a deep and abiding love for you by not only your true family, but your people. You may have been our gift to them, but they are a gift to you as well.”

  “I promise I’ll never think otherwise. I was never sure of my place in the world until I came here. Now I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”

  “Do not lose sleep over your parents. They aren’t worth it. Your father and mother are bitter people whose only good act was to bring you into the world. Let that burden be lifted from your heart as we impart your gift upon you.”