Scent of the Heart

by Parker Williams

  “Tsvetok,” his mother interrupted, “please keep your brothers close. I know you are a mated man now, but they need you. Especially now. Their lives are changing, and they will look to both of you to guide them. And, Shaman, we entrust the hearts of our family to you. We know you will keep them together and make us very proud.”

  “I promise, ma’am,” Casey swore.

  “None of that. If we are to be family, you should call me mother.”

  Sev was suddenly awash in Casey’s feelings. They had changed somehow. The sadness when he thought about his own family was no longer there. Instead a steely determination replaced it.

  “Thank you, Mother. I promise to keep your—our family together.”

  “Would you do us the honor, Shaman, of blessing our family? We never had it while we lived in the enclave, and it would mean the world to us.”

  Sev knew Casey had blessed families. When Mrs. Riley’s children were born, he gave them each his touch, binding them to each other and to the enclave. He’d always wished it had been done for his family, and now that the opportunity was here, he was nervous.

  Casey went to each in turn, touching their chests and intoning the words, “Our hearts beat as one, even when they no longer beat. We are connected to each of our ancestors and take strength from them. Their love is ours, and our love will belong to those who come after us. This is our blessing.”

  When it was Sev’s turn, a warmth suffused his body, and in a flash, he accepted they were finally bound.

  And he knew peace.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Emotions ran high watching Sev and his brothers interact with their parents. Casey wasn’t certain why the ache he normally attributed to his father was absent, but it didn’t seem to matter. He’d moved on, just as certainly as his father had. A new family, a stronger one, waited for him now.

  He let his gaze roam over the desolate landscape. Once the spirit realm was a lush world, but Elizar had decimated it. It broke his heart to know that those who came here wouldn’t know peace.

  “You can give it to them, you know.”

  The familiar voice had Casey spinning on his heel so fast he almost toppled over.

  “Hakiim! Oh my god, it’s you,” Casey cried out as he flew into his mentor’s arms and sighed when they encircled him.

  “I thought I lost you,” Casey whispered.

  “Only for a time. You are part of my heart, if you want to be.”

  “Yes, I would very much like that.”

  Hakiim sighed. “I wish I could introduce you to my family, but I don’t seem to be able to find them. Perhaps they’ve moved on.”

  Casey closed his eyes and concentrated. When he opened them again, he flashed Hakiim a smile.

  “Come with me.”

  He grasped Hakiim’s hand and hurried to a spot far from everyone else. Hakiim sobbed when he saw his wives and children waiting for him. The kids ran forward and threw their arms around their father, squealing in their excitement. His wives retained their dignity for all of five seconds before they, too, were part of the pile. Hakiim gestured to Casey who tentatively stepped forward.

  “Casey, this is Sarla, my heart mate, and our wife Jederam. These are our children, Petra, Illina, Simi, Lenar, and Hamish. I would like to introduce you to Casey Scott. He is not of my flesh, but he is my child just as you all are. Will you welcome him?”

  Small hands pulled Casey into their midst and surrounded him with love that he’d never known from his own family. The children tugged on his sleeves to get his attention, the wives cooed over him. The intensity of emotions it evoked overwhelmed him. He wanted to cry, and laugh, and simply enjoy the moment. Today he gained not one, but two families. Then he was sobered by the realization that he was about to lose them again.

  “No, you’re not,” Hakiim said, answering his unspoken thoughts. “For now, perhaps, but we will be together again one day. I want you to know how very proud I am of you. What you’ve accomplished is akin to the impossible. Even I don’t understand how you’ve known some of the things you do.”

  Casey shrugged, his cheeks heating. “I didn’t until today. Somehow I know so much now. And I understand that I know nothing at all. There is still a lot to learn, and I can’t wait.”

  “That’s something I wanted to talk to you about. In my house…well, your house, there is a cabinet on the far wall, near the fireplace.”

  “Yeah, the herb cabinet.”

  “That’s not all that is there. In the bottom, beneath the stacks of papers is a door. If you open it, you will find books about our history and ways of working with nature to achieve incredible things. What you’ve seen is only the tip of what you can accomplish. I hope that my notes will enable you to further your studies. Have you taken an apprentice?”

  Casey gasped. “I don’t know enough to teach someone.”

  “You know far more than you give yourself credit for. Find one of our young people who shows an interest. Teach them our ways so that future generations may continue to prosper.”

  “I don’t like the idea that I’m losing you again. The first time nearly killed me.” Casey ducked his head and scrubbed a foot against the ground. “I know it was foolish, but I came to think of you as my father.”

  “Do you think I didn’t have those feelings about you? I’d rarely known such pride as I did when we studied together. You became a part of my family and when I…when I died, I grieved at the times we wouldn’t have together.”

  “And now you’re leaving me.”

  “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

  “What? Oh, god, no! You need to be with your children and your wives. I didn’t mean it like that. I just want you to know I’m going to miss you.”

  “And I you, Casey Scott, child of mine. Come, I would have you learn of your new family so that you may remember them fondly.”

  Casey turned his attention to where Elizar lay struggling against his bonds. He would keep. This was something Casey had longed for, a chance to have a real family, and no one was going to keep it from him.

  ***

  Vadim cried when his parents faded from their sight. Sev wasn’t certain where Casey had gone to, but he could feel the joy and heartache that warred within him. He wanted to be with his mate, but knew if he was needed, Casey would find him.

  “Why are you crying, Vadim?” Mikhail wanted to know.

  “It’s like I’ve lost them again.”

  Mikhail pulled his brother in for a hug, which warmed Sev’s heart. “We aren’t losing them at all. We’ve found them after they were lost for so long, and now we know that we’ll see them again. Sev and Casey brought them home to us.”

  Swiping at the tears in his eyes, Sev wrapped both of his brothers up in his arms. “I’m so proud of the both of you.”

  Vadim gave Sev a scowl. “Why? We didn’t do anything.”

  “It takes a very strong person to not give in, and neither of you have. I admit, I did a few times. When I was in the forest as a skunk, I wanted nothing more than to simply stay there. It was less painful, but the realization that I would lose the two of you kept me coming back time and again.”

  “Where did Casey go?”

  “I think he’s saying good-bye to a friend.”

  “I’m glad he’s your mate,” Mikhail announced. “And it’s kind of nice to have another brother.”

  “After all this, do the two of you still want to live with Casey? If you would rather we not, I can—”

  “Don’t be stupid. Casey is yours, and he’s ours, too. I know I want to be with both of you. You’ll be like my fathers,” Vadim said, then gave a shy grin.

  “Hey, come here.” Sev pulled him in close. “Whenever you need us, we will always be there for you. We don’t have to be your father for that.”

  “You’ve been like my father for the longest time. You held me when I cried, took care of me when I was sick. You did everything a father would do for his son. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortabl
e, but it’s how I feel.”

  “No, it doesn’t bother me in the least. Father was right. You both are sons that any person would be honored to call their own.”

  “Can we go home now?”

  “Not just yet. I think Casey still has something to deal with.”

  Mikhail’s eyes went wide. “What do you think he’ll do to Elizar?”

  “What would you do? He hurt you, made you do things you would never have done. Casey asked for your opinion. What is it?”

  Mikhail chewed on his fingernail and appeared deep in thought. “I want to hate him. He took so much from me, but hate just gives him power. Casey was right. I think I pity him more than anything.”

  Sev grinned and ruffled his brother’s hair. “Spoken like an adult.”

  “Will he destroy him?”

  “I wish I knew, Vadim. I don’t know that I would want to make those decisions right now.”

  ***

  “What do I do about Elizar?” Casey asked Hakiim as they strolled along, taking in the desolate landscape.

  “You are the shaman. What do you think should be done?”

  “I don’t know. He hurt so many people. Forced some members of the enclave to kill their children. How can I forgive that?”

  “No one is asking you to forgive it. He is a despicable creature, and I doubt he is redeemable at all. You have to do what’s right, and that’s not always what’s easiest.”

  “What would you do?”

  Hakiim put a hand on Casey’s shoulder. “I’m glad that it’s not my decision, and I’m sorry I can’t take the burden off your shoulders. You need to be the adjudicator. It’s your role.”

  “I keep hearing about my role, but everything is so vague.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is. Look around you and tell me what you see.”

  “Nothing. It’s not at all like it was before.”

  “Then remake it.”

  Hakiim made it sound so simple. He had no idea what to do.

  “You doubt yourself still. Haven’t you proven to be a most accomplished shaman?”

  “Sure, of course. I couldn’t stop him from entering the physical world. Without Sev, I wouldn’t have been able to keep him from advancing in this world. Seems I’m not all I’m cracked up to be.”

  “You’re not a spirit, Casey. You’re human, and you have much to learn yet. You can’t control destiny. Come, sit with me.”

  They found a spot, and Hakiim lay back, looking up at the sky. “Tell me what you see.”

  Casey tilted his head back and glanced up. “Nothing. There isn’t anything there.”

  “Exactly. What was made, Elizar destroyed. You’re the shaman and it’s up to you to put things to rights.”

  “That’s crazy. I can’t rebuild this place.”

  “Why? Who’s to say what you can and can’t do? The spirit world is yours to protect. You nurture it and guide those who enter here. Our Alpha can’t do it, nor can his Protector. Only you have the ability. The three of you fill very specific roles. Tell me something; why didn’t Jake stop Elizar?”

  “How was he supposed to do that? It’s not like he can fight a—oh.”

  “Exactly. Your powers in the physical world are impressive, but it’s here that you truly shine. In this place, with Tsvetok by your side, the only limits you have are the ones you’ve placed on yourself. Trust in your heart to make what was wrong right again.”

  Casey closed his eyes and imagined the spirit realm the way it was the first time he’d been here. How the people moved to and fro, waiting for their turn to move on. How it looked so much like the enclave because, he was told, the spirits wanted the people to feel at peace, and to know their home—each piece, every nuance, all the parts that made it special.

  “Nicely done,” Hakiim whispered.

  When he opened his eyes, Casey was stunned to find the realm exactly as he remembered it. The people returned, examining their village, then went back to their reason for being there: meditating, resting, reflecting.

  “I did this?”

  “Of course. The spirit realm is an extension of its guardian. That’s you. You have a great responsibility to our people, you know. You need to be there for the living, but you also have to be there for those who have departed. You relieved them of their pain from Elizar. You set them free. The spirits chose well when they sent you to us, Casey. Never doubt that.”

  Casey had a thought, and for some reason, he knew he had to try. He waved his hand, willing a stump. It shimmered into existence, and his heart leapt into his throat.

  “I don’t understand. Why a stump?”

  “I don’t know. It seemed…right, I guess.”

  Hakiim stood. “You have surpassed anything I could teach you, but don’t get complacent. You still have so much to learn. There are lifetimes of lore that you will need to sift through. The people in the spirit realm can answer some questions for you, if you ask.”

  “It’s time to say good-bye, isn’t it?”

  “For now. We’ll be together again one day.”

  “I love you. I don’t know that I’ve ever said that to my own father, but you deserve it.”

  Hakiim pulled Casey in and squeezed tight. “I love you, my son.”

  ***

  Casey was positively giddy when he got back to Sev. While it had been hard to say his final farewell to Hakiim, it brought him much joy to see the man reunited with his…their family. Casey understood better now about his place in the world. Funny how one day opened up so much knowledge to him.

  “Are you guys ready to go home?”

  “What about Elizar? What are you going to do about him?”

  “I had a thought. It’s not necessarily the most conventional, but it works as both a punishment and, hopefully, a teaching tool.”

  They traveled as a group back to where Casey had left Elizar. The venom in his gaze was as impotent as his rage. Now that Casey better understood his connections to the spirit realm, he refused to be frightened of the bogeyman any longer.

  “I’ve thought about what I’m going to do about you,” he told Elizar. “I could unmake you, I think. Send you off into the nothingness for all eternity. But that’s your way. It isn’t mine. I want you to learn and understand. You can’t do that if I send you away.”

  “So what will you do to me? It’s not like you can imprison me,” Elizar sneered.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. Are you comfortable? You know what? Let’s change that.”

  A wiggle of his fingers and the ground pushed up, leaving Elizar vertical.

  “From here you can see the people. See how they behave and try to improve themselves so they can move on. I think you need that lesson. So what’s going to happen is that you’re going to stay here until you learn it. Knowing you, that will be forever. It’s okay, though. You have nothing but time.”

  “You can’t do this to me,” Elizar growled. “I would rather be unmade.”

  “And that’s why this is punishment. If I did as you ask, you’ll never learn anything. Oh, and the other thing? The people can’t see you. They’ll never be able to interact. You can watch them, but you won’t be able to speak or touch.”

  “No! That’s not justice, it’s torture.”

  “It’s tit for tat, or an eye for an eye, if you wish.”

  Elizar’s features contorted and spittle flew as he spat, “I’ll find a way to destroy you, I swear it.”

  “You can try. Now that I understand Sev’s nature and what he means to me? I don’t think it’s a good idea to cross him or me. I may still have a lot to learn in the enclave, but here? With Sev by my side? My power beats yours any day. I’ll check in on you occasionally. Until then, enjoy watching others move on while you languish here.”

  The scream that followed them gave him more reason to pity the man he had thought to be a monster, but Casey couldn’t work up enough feelings to hate him anymore. The man was now going to suffer for his crimes, and though there was no joy in it, Casey
felt justice was served, and knew he’d maintained his humanity, and hoped that one day Elizar might find his.

  “I think everything is going to be okay now.”

  Casey placed his fingers on Vadim and Mikhail, imagining them being returned to the enclave. Their bodies ghosted out and were gone.

  “Our turn. I can’t wait to get you home. I haven’t been with you in forever it seems. I want to make love to my mate again. I’ve missed having you near me.”

  “You’re going to have to wait. I’m dead tired,” Sev said, his expression grim.

  “Oh no you didn’t,” Casey groaned. “That pun was worthy of me.”

  Sev grinned. “I’m learning from the best.” Then his lips turned downward. “Can we make love tomorrow? Tonight I want to sleep curled in your arms until I can again accept that you’re real. I don’t want to wake up and find you’re not with me.”

  Casey reached out and touched his fingers to Sev’s cheek, delighting when his mate pressed against them. “Let’s go home.”

  ***

  When they returned to Casey’s house, Jake was awake, shifted, and growly. Vadim and Mikhail sat at the table, while the wolf curled at Mikhail’s feet. Jake stalked to Casey and Sev and let loose with a giant roar.

  “I think he’s pissed,” Casey whispered to Sev.

  A few more moments, and Jake leaned forward, sniffing Casey.

  “Dude, not in front of the mate,” he said, pushing Jake away.

  Jake returned to human form and continued to sniff Casey.

  “What’s going on? What are you doing?”

  “You don’t smell like you anymore. I mean you do, but there’s… I don’t know. More of you? Your scent is so strong. It’s… I just don’t know.”

  “A lot’s happened, I guess. Hey, I have a question. Do you remember my grandpa?”

  Jake’s brows furrowed. “Vaguely. We were like seven when he died, right?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  “Why do you ask?”

  “I’m not sure. For some reason he’s on my mind today. It’s weird. I can picture him perfectly.”

  “Well, you ought to know, fair warning and all, that Zak is—”