Dream a Little Dream

by Joan Jonker

  ‘Pay no attention to her, queen, she’s not worth it. Hasn’t got a good word for anyone and a slapped backside wouldn’t go amiss.’ A picture flashed into Kitty’s head, of Mr Robert with Miss Victoria across his knee, smacking her with a slipper. The image was nearly as pleasing as the scone. ‘That’s something I’d like to see,’ she mumbled through a mouthful of crumbs. ‘The queer one being taken down a peg or two.’

  ‘It’ll happen one day, you mark my words. All it needs is for her to insult the wrong person and she’ll end up getting her face slapped.’

  Kitty lifted her cup. ‘I’ll drink to that, queen. But you steer clear of her ’cos if she can cause trouble for yer, she will. And I wouldn’t want to work here if you left. Yer see, ye’re me best mate, I don’t bother with no one else.’

  There was affection in the housekeeper’s smile. ‘Don’t yer start worrying about me leaving, Kitty, ’cos I ain’t going nowhere. Miss Victoria can do her damnedest, she won’t get rid of me. Not while Mr Robert and Miss Abbie are here. They’re like family to me and I love the bones of them.’

  ‘D’yer love the bones of me, queen?’

  ‘There’s nothing else of yer to love, is there? Ye’re a bag of bleedin’ bones! I’m going to have to start trying to fatten yer up, ’cos yer worry the life out of me. D’yer know what, sunshine, yer shadow’s got more meat on it than you have.’

  Kitty thought this was funny. ‘Oh, you are a one, Aggie! Just wait until I tell my Alf what yer said, he won’t half laugh.’

  ‘While ye’re at it, yer can tell him I want yer to bring a basin in with yer tomorrow so I can fill it with thick, nourishing soup. It’ll put a lining on yer tummies.’

  ‘Is that what the family are having tomorrow for starters?’

  Agnes nodded, a sly smile on her face. ‘They don’t know it yet, but yes, that’s what they’re having for starters.’

  ‘But I thought Miss Edwina gave yer a menu every day?’

  ‘She does, she brings it in every night for the next day. And tonight the menu will probably start with a consommé, which they usually have on a Thursday. But with a little wangle here, and a little lie there, I bet she’ll leave this kitchen thinking what a clever woman she is to have thought of having barley broth for a change.’

  ‘Ye’re a bleedin’ caution, you are, Aggie!’ Kitty grinned. ‘There’s no flies on you, they’re all ruddy bluebottles.’

  ‘Then I’ll have to make sure none of them fly into the soup, won’t I, sunshine?’

  Robert took out his fobwatch and turned to the man standing beside him. ‘I’m off for lunch now, and I think I’ll go straight home afterwards. You don’t need me here, do you?’

  ‘I’m not even needed meself for a couple of hours, the auctioneer’s two assistants do all the work. There’s only the books to see to when the auction’s over, and that’s no problem. The bidding has been quite brisk so I think you’ll find we’ve had a good day.’ A few years ago Jeff would have been too embarrassed to look his boss in the eye when similar conversations like this took place, and many times he’d wished Robert had never confided in him. But not any more. His employer had been open and honest, and after a few visits to the large, richly furnished house in Mossley Hill, Jeff not only understood, but sympathised. ‘You go and enjoy your lunch, Bob, I can manage things from now. I’ll have the books ready for your inspection tomorrow.’

  Robert nodded to the auctioneer, then walked through the double doors donning his beige bowler hat. He stood outside the building breathing in the fresh air as he pulled on a pair of soft leather gloves, then made his way to the black Bentley saloon car parked nearby. Tall and well-built, he cut a handsome figure in his well-fitting expensive clothes, and many an eye was turned in his direction. And he was in a happy frame of mind as he turned on the ignition and the car purred into life. He only came to Chester one day in a month, and it was a day he always looked forward to.

  Five minutes later, Robert pulled up outside a very ordinary house in the middle of a terrace of other ordinary houses. There was a handkerchief-sized garden and a short path leading to the front door. The windows were neat, with pure white net curtains hanging behind gleaming panes of glass, and the brass knocker shone so brightly he could see his reflection in it. Before he had time to knock, the door was opened by an attractive woman in her forties whose smile told him he was welcome. ‘Come in, Robert.’ She closed the door then turned and lifted her face for a kiss. ‘It’s good to see you.’

  ‘And it’s good to see you, Maureen, my dear.’

  ‘Hang your coat and hat up, while I nip through to the kitchen and take our dinner out of the oven.’ Over her shoulder, she called, ‘I’ve got some nice gammon, to have with egg and tomato.’

  ‘And chips I hope!’ Robert followed her through the small living room to the kitchen. He felt more at home in this house than he did in his own. ‘If there’s no chips I’ll take my custom to the café down the road.’

  ‘Oh, you and your chips! Honestly, you’re like a little boy sometimes.’

  ‘When I’m with you I feel young, you have that effect on me. I come to your door an old man, with all the worries of the world on my shoulders. But when I step over the threshold I am rejuvenated and feel as free as a bird.’ Robert chuckled. ‘A very young bird.’

  ‘An old man indeed!’ Maureen Schofield wagged a finger in his face. ‘It so happens that I am only a year younger than you, and I refuse to think of myself as an old woman. So don’t you be putting years on me. I prefer to think we are both in the prime of life.’ She shooed him through the kitchen door and back into the living room. ‘Sit down and read the paper while I peel a few potatoes to make some chips for you. I couldn’t bear to see a grown man cry ’cos he doesn’t get what he wants.’

  ‘Why can’t I stand and watch you? We get little enough time together as it is, I would hate to waste any by sitting twiddling my thumbs.’

  ‘Sit down, Robert, and do as you’re told. I’ll have the meal on the table much quicker if I’m left on my own. Ten minutes at the outside.’

  Robert spent the time reminiscing. It was three years now since Maureen came into his life, and it was by pure luck that he was the one who called on her, and not Jeff. An elderly neighbour of hers had died, and the family had asked her if she would see to the selling of the furniture as they lived some distance away. She had contacted their office in Chester and as he’d been there at the time, he agreed to come along and give a valuation. That was how easily the friendship came about. Robert took to Maureen right away, she was so warm and friendly and had a good sense of humour. They’d got talking and he learned she was a spinster, by choice and not necessity. She was born when her mother was turned forty, and by the time she was old enough to have a social life, both her parents were frail and needed looking after. Because she loved them so much, she put her own life on the back burner and cared for them until they died. She was thirty by that time, and all the friends she’d had in her teens were married with families. When she was telling Robert this, there’d been no self-pity in her voice, no regret that the best years of her life had passed her by, and he found himself being drawn to her. She worked in a shop, and as Wednesday was half-day closing, he’d said casually that as he was in Chester every fourth Wednesday, he might pop in one day for a cup of tea. For months he made excuses, that he was just passing the bottom of the road, or he was calling on someone in the next street. Lame excuses, as they both knew. Then he took to calling every fourth week without making excuses, and Maureen took to looking forward to seeing him.

  ‘Elbows off the table, please.’ She smiled down as she placed a plate in front of him and one on the opposite side of the table. ‘You were miles away then.’

  ‘Yes, my dear, I was reliving the last three years. It doesn’t seem that long since I first knocked on your door. The time has flown over.’

  ‘It hasn’t gone without incident, though, Robert. I’ve got many more grey hairs in my head
now than I did then.’

  There was affection in his smile. If he had to describe Maureen in one word, it would be bonny. She was by no means fat, but she had a full rounded figure, and such a happy, bonny face. ‘I think I’ve grown more grey hairs than you, my dear.’

  ‘I’ve no intention of counting hairs! Now get that meal down you, and if you leave as much as one chip, I’ll have yer guts for garters.’

  ‘Message received and understood.’ Robert speared a chip and bit half of it off. ‘They used to be a luxury when I was a kid. My mother would send me for a pennyworth of chips with plenty of salt and vinegar on. On a hard-up day, when she was skint, she’d make that penn’orth of chips into sandwiches for me and me dad, and herself. And I can still remember how I relished the taste of those chips. They were hard times for us, and all our neighbours, but they were good times as well.’

  ‘Stop talking and eat your dinner, Robert, before it goes cold.’

  ‘This gammon is very tasty, my dear.’

  ‘That’s one of the advantages of working in a grocer’s shop. I can pick out the rashers I fancy, knowing they have been freshly cut.’

  They carried on eating in silence until their plates were clean. Then Robert licked his lips and patted his tummy. ‘Very enjoyable, as always.’

  ‘I’ve kept the kettle on the boil on the hob, so there’ll be a nice cuppa ready for you in just two minutes.’

  Robert watched as she picked up a knitted square to cover her hand before lifting the heavy kettle. ‘I wish you would allow me to pay to have that grate removed, Maureen, and a smaller one put in its place. Not only would it save you blackleading that huge thing all the time, it would also give you more space in the room. I could have the work done by a skilled fitter who would be quick and efficient. The room would be a mess for about three days, but think of the advantages. And it would make me very happy if you would accept my offer.’

  Maureen put the kettle back on the hob and returned to her chair. ‘I am very fond of you, Robert, and I treasure the few hours we have together each month. My life would be empty if I didn’t have them to look forward to. You know I am happy to be your confidante when you feel the need to talk, and that my shoulder is here for you to cry on. And when you need comforting, my arms will always hold you. I have no one else in my life, and I value what we have together. But I will never take, or allow you to spend money on me. I would feel like a kept woman, a mistress, and I couldn’t live with that. My parents bought this house at a time when it was unthinkable for working-class people to own their own home. They scrimped and scraped, went without to raise the money so that when they died, I would have some security. So I don’t have to worry about paying rent, and my wages buy me what little I need. I don’t possess many worldly goods, but I have no need of them. What I do have need of, is my independence and my pride. I would lose both if I accepted money from you. I know you mean well, and I do appreciate your thoughtfulness, but it would spoil what we have, and I don’t want that.’

  Robert reached across and covered her hand. ‘If I have hurt or insulted you, it was unintentional, I assure you. You are one of the most open, honest and kind people it has been my fortune to know and I have the greatest admiration for you. A short while ago you said I was like a little boy, and there’s nothing a little boy likes better than to give and receive presents. But I will never again make a suggestion that displeases you if you will, just once, humour me.’

  Maureen’s blue eyes twinkled as she raised her brows. ‘Humour you? I thought that was something I often did! What about the plate of chips you’ve just eaten? They weren’t on the menu today, I only made them to humour you.’

  ‘What I have in mind is far more serious than a plate of chips, my dear. It’s something that has been nagging in my head for quite some time. I have great affection for you, and I believe you return my feelings?’ Robert waited for her nod, then continued, ‘Yet if anything happened to stop me coming here, neither of us have a single thing to remember each other by. No photograph or memento to remind us of the happiness we’ve shared for the last three years. That saddens me, because you have given me so much joy. You filled a void in my life and helped me keep my sanity.’

  ‘And don’t you think you did the same for me? We have helped each other, Robert, and please God, we will continue to do so for a long time. So no more talk of anything happening to prevent you coming – you are making me sad.’

  ‘Are you not prepared to humour me, then?’

  ‘I’m not saying yes until I know what it is. Otherwise I might find a man at my door tomorrow morning with a toolbox, come to take my grate out.’

  Robert grinned. ‘I think you’ve taught me the error of my ways on that one, my dear. No, what I had in mind, and what I would dearly love, is for us to buy each other a gift. Something we can use every day so our thoughts are always with each other.’

  Maureen looked doubtful. Everything he had was expensive – his clothes, fobwatch, cuff links, tie-pin and the huge black saloon car standing outside her house which the neighbours must wonder about but never mentioned. She couldn’t buy him anything that would compare with what he already had. ‘Don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself, Robert, but any gift I gave you would have to come from Woolworth’s.’

  ‘I’ve told you many tales about our housekeeper, Agnes, so as you seem to think I’m a snob, I’ll answer you as she would. “I don’t care if it’s a bleedin’ penny whistle, sunshine, it’s still a gift. And if it’s not good enough for yer – well, that’s too bleedin’ bad. Yer can sod off and yer’ll get bugger all in future”.’

  Maureen’s head fell back and she roared with laughter. ‘How I would love to meet Agnes, she sounds a treasure.’

  ‘She is that! Dead funny and as straight as they come. Her and Abbie are the two people who make life worth living. Anyway, back to the subject in hand. I know what I would like from you, my dear. It wouldn’t be too expensive and it’s something I would use every day.’

  ‘And that is?’

  ‘A cigar clipper.’

  ‘But you’ve already got one. You don’t need two, surely?’

  ‘I want one that has been given to me by your fair hand. It will go with me everywhere and you will be constantly in my thoughts.’

  ‘If that is what you want, but I warn you it will not be as good as the one you have. And for that reason I don’t want you buying me anything expensive, otherwise you will embarrass me.’

  ‘That is one thing I will not go along with, Maureen. And before you argue, please listen to my side. Every time I come here you have a meal ready for me. I have offered to bring groceries with me to help out, but you stubbornly refuse. So while it is all right for you to give to me, I am not allowed to give to you. Is that fair?’

  ‘Good heavens, Robert, I’d be a poor one if I couldn’t give you a meal. I’d be cooking for myself anyway, so a little extra makes hardly any difference.’

  ‘I wonder why I don’t believe you? Can you honestly say you would buy gammon for yourself, rather than streaky bacon?’

  Maureen tried to keep her face straight but it didn’t come off. ‘Oh, all right, you win. But don’t you dare buy me anything too expensive.’

  ‘We’ll see, my dear, we’ll see. Now how about you making our cup of tea, then we can sit holding hands while we have a cosy chat. You can tell me everything you’ve been up to since I last saw you.’

  ‘That should take all of two minutes, Robert, because as you well know, I lead a very uneventful life. Of course I could invent something to keep you amused, but I’d need time to do that and there isn’t enough now. However, if I put my mind to it in the next four weeks, I’m sure my imagination can come up with a few incidents to keep you happy.’ She smiled and pinched his cheek then went to pick up the kettle. ‘I’ll leave the washing-up until you’ve gone; it’ll give me something to do.’

  When Maureen came through carrying two steaming cups of tea, Robert was sitting on the co
uch looking very much at home. He patted the space beside him and said, ‘Leave the cups on the table and come and sit next to me. We only have a little time left, let’s not waste it.’ When she was seated, he put an arm across her shoulders and pulled her close. ‘Now I am happy. You chase away my cares, my darling Maureen, and if I had one wish, it would be for you to play a bigger part in my life.’

  Her head resting on his shoulder, Maureen looked up at him. ‘It isn’t possible, so let’s be grateful for what we have.’

  ‘If it were possible, would you come to me?’

  ‘Yes, I would. But wishes and dreams are not going to make it happen, Robert. You have a wife, even if it is in name only. And I am not a marriage-breaker, although there are many who would see me as a scarlet woman. But I honestly believe we are doing no wrong. Everyone needs some love and affection in their lives and that is what we are giving each other. No one is being hurt by it.’

  ‘I know what you’re saying is true, but it doesn’t stop me wishing. I would give you the earth if I could, buy you anything your heart desires.’

  ‘Robert, I am a forty-five-year-old virgin, and I work in a grocer’s shop. That was my life when you came into it, and it is still my life. We agreed then that our relationship would be purely as friends, and no one would be hurt by it.’

  ‘It was easy to say that then, dear, because I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you – that you were going to become so important to me. I’m sorry, but it would have been easier to stop rain from falling than stop myself being drawn ever closer to you.’

  ‘And don’t you think the same thing has happened to me? I love you, Robert, and have done for some time. If you only knew how much I look forward to your visits, and how I count the days and hours. But we can’t change things, so why don’t we just settle for what we have? I couldn’t bear you not to be part of my life, I would be lost without you.’

  ‘You’ll never be lost, my darling, because I’ll always be here. Whatever your terms, I will abide by them, and love you all the more for your honesty.’ He kissed her hair. ‘That’s the first time you have ever said you love me, and you’ve made me very happy.’