by Joan Jonker
‘Excuse me language, Mr Robert, but bloody hell! I’ll never get me tongue round that.’
‘Yes, you will. Look, put the paper on the desk and we’ll go over it.’ With the end of his fountain pen, he broke the word into syllables and repeated it slowly over and over again. ‘Now you try, Kitty, and don’t be nervous.’
Five minutes later the cleaner was able to say the word without looking at the paper. Her face aglow with pride, she said with a laugh, ‘Now all I need to know is what it means.’
‘It means something you can’t understand. For instance, I might say I find it incomprehensible that widows receive so little money. Or that some children have to go bare-foot because their parents can’t afford to buy them shoes.’
‘Oh, I get it! I know just the sentence to put it in. Just you wait, Aggie Weatherby, yer in for the shock of yer life. Thanks, Mr Robert, ye’re a pal.’
‘There’s a catch I’m afraid, Kitty. I want you to do it now so I can stand outside the kitchen and listen. It should be a good laugh.’
Agnes was peeling potatoes when Kitty came into the kitchen. ‘Don’t tell me yer’ve finished yer work so quick? Yer can’t have done a very good job.’
‘I haven’t started yet. I’ve got something to say to yer.’ Speaking clearly and slowly, Kitty said, ‘I find it incomprehensible that yer didn’t say right out that yer weren’t going to do those bleedin’ truffles.’
Robert wasn’t satisfied with listening, so he crept into the kitchen. And when he saw Agnes and Kitty with their arms around each other, shaking with laughter, he crept out again, not wanting to intrude on their pleasure. The scene heartened him and put him in an optimistic mood for the day. And when he was having lunch in a small café with Nigel and Jeff, he repeated the whole episode to them, every word and every action. And if the two ladies had known they were responsible for three grown men having smiles on their faces all day, they would have been delighted.
Victoria’s dinner party was also the topic of conversation in a drawing room several miles away across the city, where Charles faced his mother. ‘Just this once, Mother, I promise,’ he pleaded. ‘Surely a few hours isn’t going to have a detrimental effect on your health.’
‘Charles, you should have refused the invitation immediately.’ Annabel Chisholm was most displeased. ‘You know I have little time for Victoria or her mother. The rest of the Dennison family I get along with very well, but Victoria is such a dreadful snob – and that mother of hers is insufferable! In fact, I can’t tolerate either of them. So please thank them for the invitation and say it is with regret your father and I will not be able to attend.’
‘Oh, come on, Mother, just this once to please me. I have turned down several invitations on your behalf, I can’t continue to do so.’ Charles was used to getting his own way and knew he would eventually wear his mother down. She in turn, would coax his father. ‘Please, Mother, for my sake? I promise I’ll never ask again.’
Annabel studied the son she adored. He wasn’t without faults, as she and her husband knew to their cost, but normally she didn’t have the heart to refuse him anything. In this case, though, she was going to tread carefully for his sake. ‘Charles, your intentions towards Victoria are not serious, are they?’
‘Of course not, Mother! I have been seeing a lot of her lately because she is quite good company and always looks immaculate to take anywhere. But I have no intention of settling down for a few years yet.’
‘Then you must make your position clear to her. And I think it would be a good idea to put an end to the relationship completely. Victoria is not the sort of girl I would welcome as a daughter-in-law. I can’t find it in my heart to warm towards her. She is so arrogant, cold and humourless. And as for her mother, well, words fail me. I think the woman lives in her own dream world. Your father could buy and sell the Dennisons ten times over, yet Edwina and her daughter treat us like the poor relations. Both of them are suffering from delusions of grandeur, and I think you would be wise to walk away before you get in too deep. I am looking forward to having grandchildren in the not too distant future, and I would be very disappointed, and concerned, if Victoria Dennison was their mother. It’s because I love you so much, my darling, and want you to have a happy life, that I am advising you to steer clear of her.’
‘I intend to, Mother. That has been in my mind for weeks now. But I can’t end our association overnight, or she’d be ringing up and making a nuisance of herself. So it was my intention to attend the dinner party, and then gradually stop seeing her.’ In his mind he was thinking of the first-class hotel, the bottle of champagne, the bed and the virgin. They came first, then the farewell.
‘I hope you are not saying that just to persuade your father and me to attend this wretched party? I would be very angry, Charles, if I thought that were the case.’
‘Cross my heart, Mother. If you come to the party, I promise that a week or two later, Victoria Dennison will be a thing of the past.’
‘If that is so, my darling, then you can accept the invitation. Your father and I will suffer the insufferable.’
Chapter Thirteen
Robert took his seat at the dining table and after a cordial greeting to his family, he smiled at his youngest daughter. ‘Well, my dear, how did your first day go? Was it very hectic or did you sail through it?’
Abbie pulled a face. ‘Not so much hectic, Dad, as terrifying. I’ve just been telling Nigel about it. Everyone, teachers and students, were all very nice and friendly, but I don’t think I’ll ever get the hang of shorthand. It’s really complicated, with different-shaped squiggles like curves and dashes which represent a word, or even several words. Fortunately everyone in the class was a raw beginner, so I wasn’t the only one to feel stupid. According to the teacher, Miss Harrison, after the first week or so it will all start to make sense and we’ll wonder why we were so afraid.’
Edwina clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth and muttered, ‘It will just be a complete waste of time.’
Robert sighed. Why couldn’t the woman give her daughter some encouragement instead of putting her down. He was stung into saying, ‘Wasting time is something you will know a lot about, Edwina. You have had plenty of practice.’
‘That’s not fair, Father.’ Victoria had that supercilious look on her face. ‘What you said was very hurtful and most uncalled for.’
‘Oh, and how have you spent your day, Victoria? Have you been very busy?’
‘Mother and I have been shopping, and to the hairdresser’s. One has to keep up appearances. Also, I’ve spent an hour with Agnes, going over the menu for the dinner party.’
Nigel, always at her beck and call until recently, was wondering why he hadn’t broken free from her years ago. And when he turned there was a look on his face akin to pity. ‘You really have had a tiring day.’
‘Sarcasm, Nigel dear?’ Victoria raised her brows. ‘I shouldn’t try it if I were you, you’re still in the infant stage.’
‘Yes, but I’m growing quickly and learning fast.’
Robert banged an open palm on the table. ‘That is quite enough. I will not have petty squabbles at the dining table. And in future, when I’m talking to one member of the family, I will not tolerate interference from another.’ His chest heaving in a deep sigh, he turned once again to Abbie. ‘Back to your day, my dear. Was it all spent on learning these squiggles?’
‘Oh no, the afternoon was given over to typing.’ The atmosphere in the room was hardly conducive to laughter, but Abbie couldn’t hold it back and it ricocheted from the four walls. ‘I was hopeless at that, as well. We had to type “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog” because that has every letter of the alphabet in it. It took ages to find each letter, but I plodded on, like everyone else, just using one finger. The teacher in that class is Miss Pye, and she told us to sit and look at the keyboard and try to memorise where the letters were. It’s a good job all the others in the class were as slow as me, otherwise I’d h
ave curled up with embarrassment.’
‘Did you get any homework?’
‘Not yet, but apparently we will in a couple of weeks when we’ve mastered enough shorthand signs to write short sentences. I can’t practise typing because I haven’t got a typewriter.’
‘That’s no problem, I’ll buy you one. And to give you a bit more confidence, there are two girls in our Liverpool office who went to night-school to learn shorthand. I was talking to one of them today and she said it was weeks before the signs made sense to her. But you should see the speed with which she can write now. While I’m dictating a letter her hand just flies across the paper. So have as much faith in yourself as I have in you, my dear, and all will be well.’
There was a light tap on the door, and then Jessie came through ahead of Agnes. ‘You should have left by now, Jessie, surely?’ Robert was surprised to see the young girl. ‘I hope your parents won’t be worried about you.’
‘Oh no, Mr Robert, I told them I’d be late. Yer see, Aggie wants me to get used to waiting on table so I can help her for Miss Victoria’s dinner party.’
‘Agnes will wait on the table herself,’ Victoria said. ‘I want everything to be just right.’
Robert sat back in his chair and rested his chin on a curled fist. Looking at the housekeeper’s set face he knew there was trouble brewing, but this was one argument he had no intention of joining. Agnes was more than capable of sticking up for herself and it was only right that she be allowed to answer the person who had spoken of her as if she was a slave to be ordered around at will. So he decided to let things take their course. He didn’t have long to wait.
The entrée tonight was salmon, served with one of Agnes’s own recipe sauces. The fish looked delicious set on a silver oblong tray and decorated with sprigs of parsley. Without showing any of the anger that was raging within her, Agnes placed the tray in the centre of the table and stood back for a second to admire her handiwork. Then, satisfied, she dusted her hands together before looking down at Victoria.
‘See them, Miss Victoria,’ she held up her two hands, ‘same number as I had last night when I asked how yer expected me to bake, cook, serve, wait on table and see to the washing up, all on me own. Oh, and we mustn’t forget that in the middle of seeing to all this, I’ve got to get meself all dressed up like a dog’s dinner. I know that’s what yer’d expect of me, ’cos everything has to be perfect, doesn’t it, Miss Victoria, to impress yer friends. So while you won’t have to lift a finger or get yer own hands dirty, I’m the muggins who has to make sure we don’t let the side down.’
The housekeeper’s hands were now on her hips, a sure sign she meant business. ‘Seven courses of mouthwatering dishes, yer said, and pastry that must melt in the mouth. All made, prepared and served by just one person. It’s not a housekeeper yer want, Miss Victoria, it’s a bleedin’ magician. And as I ain’t a magician, unless I can have Jessie here to give me a hand, I’m afraid ye’re going to have to find some other silly sod to take over from me. Give them the menu and then watch them run for the nearest bleedin’ door.’
There was complete silence as Agnes squared her shoulders, threw out her ample bosom and reached for Jessie’s hand. ‘Come on, sunshine, before there’s no arse left in the potato pan.’
As soon as the door closed, Victoria jumped to her feet and leaned her palms on the table. She was absolutely livid. ‘How could you sit there, Father, and allow me to be spoken to in such a way by a servant?’
‘Because that is the way you deserve to be spoken to. In fact, I think under the circumstances, Agnes let you off very lightly.’
‘Well, I don’t intend to let her get away with it. I shall give her a piece of my mind and remind her of her position.’ Victoria was striding purposefully towards the door, her lips a thin red line, when Robert’s voice brought her to a halt.
‘Then I hope you won’t be too upset about having to cancel the dinner party. Another insult by you and Agnes will tell you in no uncertain terms where to go to.’
‘She can’t be allowed to get away with it, and I intend to have very strong words with her. No matter what happens I won’t have to cancel the dinner party, for I’ll bring in outside caterers.’
‘I presume you have the money to do this?’ Robert asked. ‘Because I can assure you I will not pay one penny to outside caterers when we have the best housekeeper and cook in the whole of Liverpool. Apart from being excellent in her job, Agnes is also a very fine person, and should be treated with respect.’ He waved his hand towards the door. ‘You have your strong words with her, but bear in mind what the consequences could be.’
Her hand on the door knob, Victoria could feel the eyes of her family boring into her back. And the longer she hesitated the less sure she was of herself. To save face with her family she should carry out her threat and march to the kitchen. But caution told her there was a lot at stake, so it would be foolish to antagonise Agnes further. The most important event in her life right now was the dinner party. It had to go ahead, so she could persuade Charles and his parents that she was the perfect hostess, and would be an asset to a man who moved in the very best social circles.
All these thoughts ran around Victoria’s head in a matter of seconds. If she handled it properly, she wouldn’t appear to lose face. ‘I’ll be seeing her later about the menu, I’ll have words with her then.’ Her hand fell from the door knob and she returned to the table. ‘Would you like me to serve the fish, Father?’
‘Edwina, perhaps you would prefer to serve?’
To show she was standing full square behind her eldest daughter, Edwina declined. ‘No, I think Victoria is quite capable.’
Robert didn’t miss the exchange of glances between Abbie and Nigel. Like himself, they were probably asking themselves why their mother and sister were so different in nature to themselves. He’d been asking himself this for years, but it was a question he could not find an answer to.
Robert had taken time out from the office that afternoon to visit the jewellers and pick up the locket he’d bought for Maureen. He was gazing at the two names he’d had engraved on the back of it when there was a light tap on the door. Quickly putting it back in the box, he opened a drawer in his desk and slipped it inside. ‘Come in.’
Abbie’s face appeared around the door. ‘Are you busy, Dad, or have you got five minutes? I didn’t want to say anything at dinner because of the tension in the air after Victoria’s rudeness to Agnes.’
‘Come in, dear, I’m not busy. I was spending time wondering why some people are nice, and some are not. I’d had a perfectly happy day, starting off with Agnes and Kitty letting me in on one of their pranks which had me laughing all day. And when I repeated it to Nigel and Jeff, their lives were also made brighter because of these two women who have very little in the way of material possessions. But what they do have they are more than willing to share.’
‘Tell me what they did, Dad, I could do with a laugh.’
It was easy for Robert to take off the two women; all he had to do was go back to his roots. And he soon had Abbie chuckling. Then he pushed his chair back. ‘This is the best bit, and I’ll have to stand up to do it justice.’ Lacing his hands across his tummy he craned his neck as though talking to someone much taller. ‘ “I find it incomprehensible that yer didn’t say right out that yer weren’t going to do those bleedin’ truffles.” ’
Abbie rocked with laughter. ‘Oh Dad, aren’t they priceless? Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if everyone was like them? It goes to show that you don’t need money to be happy.’
‘Agnes is probably feeling pretty rotten right now, and I wouldn’t blame her. She works very hard, is excellent at her job, yet gets little praise. So how about you and I going to the kitchen and cheering her up with our impersonations?’
‘Oh yes, I’d love that! Can I go and get Nigel, so he can have a laugh? It would show Agnes that we love and appreciate her. And anyway, what I came to see you about concerns him, so
it’s two birds with one stone.’
‘Run along then, while I pour a glass of whisky as a peace offering.’
Agnes had just sat down after washing the mountain of dishes and pans, when Robert and his two children came in. ‘If ye’re after anything to eat, yer can get it yerselves ’cos I’m bushed,’ she snapped.
Robert and his daughter had rehearsed what they would say. Now, with a hand behind his back holding the glass of whisky, he said, ‘No, nothing like that, Agnes. I inadvertently put some important papers down and for the life of me I can’t think where.’
A bell was starting to ring in the housekeeper’s head, but it was so low she didn’t pay much attention to it. ‘Well, I haven’t seen them, Mr Robert.’
Abbie came to stand in front of her. ‘I find it incomprehensible that yer don’t know where the bleedin’ things are.’
The first part of Agnes to shake, was her bosom. This was followed by her tummy, then rip-roaring laughter. ‘So yer heard about it, did yer?’
‘Heard and saw, Agnes,’ Robert beamed. ‘I was outside the kitchen door when Kitty came in, then I popped my head around to find the pair of you hanging on to each other and laughing your socks off.’
‘Well, if yer can’t have a laugh, yer may as well die off, Mr Robert. And yer must admit it was bloody funny. That Kitty Higgins is a godsend, believe me. I can be up to me neck in work, or in a blazing temper over something, but it just takes one smile from her and I forget me work and temper. But I’ll tell yer something, and it’s gospel. If it weren’t for Kitty, and you three living in this house, I’d be long gone. I know I shouldn’t say it ’cos ye’re her father, but that Miss Victoria needs a bloody good hiding.’
‘I’m not going to excuse her, Agnes, she’s old enough to make her own apologies. And I know you are well able to stick up for your rights. But if the time ever comes when I think you are unable to, that’s when I’ll step in.’ Robert brought his hand around with a flourish. ‘This whisky is not in place of an apology, Agnes, it’s for giving us all such a good laugh today. And that includes Jeff, who was in stitches.’