To The Woman He Loves

by Theresa Hodge

  An onslaught of realizations hit me all at once. The woman talking to Ronan was Misty Crewe, his temporary secretary. One day about a month ago, I went to his office to have lunch with him and was told that Ronan was out and they didn’t know when he would return. I never told Ronan about the day I came to his office and his coworker must not have mentioned it either, because Ronan never did mention it to me.

  As I was walking out that day, I asked one of the employees to introduce me to Ronan’s new secretary but she was also away from her desk. I did stop by her desk and noticed a picture of her. She was the same woman I saw Ronan staring at the night of the masquerade ball. I didn’t miss the look in my husband’s eyes as the two stared at one another. Why didn’t I put two and two together back then? Maybe I could have done something to stop this night from happening. Maybe I could have stopped my heart from doing somersaults and breaking into a zillion tiny particles.

  Ever since Ronan hired Misty, he was anxious to get to the bar to hangout. He had no problem leaving me home alone when I was unable to perform my wifely duties, because he had hooked up with her.

  I thought about how quickly he ditched me that night at the company party, which he said lasted until three thirty thirty in the morning. Then, I thought about the way Misty was dressed that night with her breasts spilling out of her bodice. My husband’s whole demeanor changed when she looked in his direction. The whole scene began registering in my mind, playing like a movie reel over and over again, as I sat in my car watching the moonlight shine upon my husband and his mistress.

  His tall frame covered her silhouette as he peered down into her eyes in front of her apartment door. The picture of the two of them standing in their hideaway painted a picture that would forever be implanted in my mind.

  “Truth be told, I don’t want to leave. I wish I could stay in your warm bed every night. I really don’t want to leave you,” Ronan said as he took his wallet from Misty. He tapped the wallet against his other hand before placing it into his back pocket. “But I have to go,” he said reluctantly.

  All my senses were on alert. I attempted to hear every word he said to her. Words that cut me like a freshly sharpened knife. I might as well had been a fresh delivery of meat to a slaughter house when he leaned down and kissed her neck, after telling her he was only going home for our children, discarding me as if I was yesterday’s news.

  She wrapped her arms around him and he pulled her into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Ronan pinned her against the frame of her door and kissed her with a passion I recognized as once belonging to me. I was paralyzed from my head to my feet as their midnight love reached my understanding.

  The pain I had in my stomach earlier, when I carried Benedict down the steps, racked through my body tenfold when Ronan secured her in his grip and said, “I love me some Misty Crew.”

  Those were the last words I heard him say, before he walked back into her apartment and kicked the door closed. I was beyond numb as my hand went to the ignition to turn the key. I put the car in drive and peeled out of the parking lot without a clue of where I was about to go. I most certainly had no intention of ever returning to the place I called home only a few hours ago.

  Chapter 24

  Ronan

  When I got my fill of Misty, it was a little after two a.m. Once again, I was going to have to sneak into my own home like I was some kind of thief in the night. I was getting tired of this deception, but I had an unexplainable pull toward Ruby and Misty. I could never see myself divorcing Ruby for Misty. But Misty, that girl had me on the other end of her dog leash. I was in way over my head in this love triangle.

  When I first started seeing Misty, Ruby didn’t care. But lately she had a million questions about me coming home late. I would have to think of something, because every moment I spent with Misty was worth the trouble waiting for me at home.

  I pulled into our parking garage and the first thing I noticed was that Ruby’s car was not in its usual space. My heart started racing as my mind considered the possible reasons her car was gone. Had some mad man forced his way into my home and abducted my wife, or even worse my entire family? Did Ruby have to take one of the kids to the hospital for an emergency? Or was she out with another man?

  A slew of negative thoughts rushed my mind, and then the one thought that catapulted me back against my seat rushed to the forefront. Had she found out about Misty and left me? Every encounter I had with Misty played out my mind, as I stared blankly at my wife’s empty parking space.

  The way Misty made me feel, the fire she brought out of me, the sex. Oh God, the sex. Thoughts of her kiss, her touch, and the words she whispered against my ear as she rode me into oblivion ruled my mind. Every morsel of her exotic silky light brown skin colliding against my ivory skin was a sight to behold. Yet, not one thought of Misty amounted to the amount of emotion I had as I opened the door to the car and went into my home in search of Ruby.

  I entered the quiet house and took the stairs two at a time. I first peeked into Yasmine and Benedict’s rooms.

  “Fuck!” I spit out the expletive upon seeing their empty beds. “Where could they be?” I asked no one in particular as I walked into my bedroom and realized that Ruby was gone.

  I searched every inch of our four thousand square foot house for a note explaining where she was at this hour. When I didn’t find anything, I took out my cell and dialed her number.

  “Ruby, honey where are you?” I asked when she answered on the third ring.

  “I know why you couldn’t stay home,” Ruby said as she wept.

  “What? What do you mean, Ruby?” I could feel panic hitting me like lightning striking a tree.

  “I know you’ve been having an affair with your temporary secretary.”

  I stood there rooted in the spot I was standing in. I suddenly felt too heavy to stand up straight as I racked my brain trying to figure out how she found out about my affair. My instinct was to deny every word of what she was saying.

  “I tracked your car,” she said, when I didn’t respond. “And I saw you and her together on the doorstep of her apartment. I saw you kissing her. I heard what you said to her, that the only reason you were coming home was for the kids,” she said into the receiver as she answered my unasked questions.

  “Ruby, listen.” My heartbeat could be heard thumping in my ears. Sweat began to slide down my temple while I thought of just one thing to say to bring my wife and kids back to me, home where they belonged.

  “Don’t try to deny it, Ronan! You’ve been fucking cheating with your temporary secretary! After all we’ve been through, this is what you go and do.”

  “I...” I paused, not sure of what to say, “Ruby, honey, you have been –”

  “You accused me of cheating, which was fake. But you’re cheating, and it’s real. Ronan, I’m going away for a while. I need time to think about this and figure out what I’m going to do, so don’t contact me.”

  “You can’t do this, Ruby. Don’t leave me,” I said. “At least bring the kids back home. They don’t need to be uprooted from their home in the middle of the night and shuffled around because I made a mistake. I will leave home if you want me to.”

  “You should’ve thought about the kids when you were out doing Lord knows what with Misty. Or when you were hollering at them last night at dinner, hurting their feelings, just because you were missing your girlfriend. No, we’re out of there. Goodbye, Ronan,” she said before the line went dead.

  I called her back in a rage, but she’d turned off her cell phone. I left an angry message and ended up punching a wall, leaving a hole in it as well as leaving my knuckles bruised. The pain to my hand didn’t compare on any level to the pain in my heart.

  Chapter 25

  Ruby

  I got on the highway and started to drive, when an idea occurred to me. Ronan would come looking for me in the obvious places, so I disconnected my phone from the tracer app. I decided then and there to take the kid
s on a little trip like Ronan had promised he would do for them. That way, hopefully, they wouldn’t have so many questions when they woke up away from home.

  I had my wallet and would need to buy us all new clothes once we got there, such was the swiftness of my decision, but I would try my best to make that a fun thing. Get Benedict the new trainers he wanted and a nice outfit for Yasmine. I had money and initiative. I hadn’t had cause to use the latter in a few years, but you never forget how to ride a bike, right?

  The children woke up asking where their father was and why he wasn’t on the trip with us. I pretended like he had gone away on a business trip.

  “Why now?” Yasmine asked, when I told her where we were headed. “Why in the middle of the night?”

  “I just decided on a whim,” I lied. “Daddy was called away on business, and I thought ‘I know, the kids would love a trip to the beach’, so here we are on the road.”

  “What about school?” Benedict had asked. “I think I have a test tomorrow.”

  “School?” I tried to make it sound like an adventure. “Most kids would be happy to go on special holiday. I’ll clear it with the school in the morning, don’t worry,” I had told them.

  “Where are we going?” Yasmine inquired.

  “Well,” I said. “Remember when we went to Panama City Beach last year?” That got them all excited and animated. “There was Race City, Sea Dragon Pirate Cruises, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not Museum and all sorts of great stuff for kids we didn’t get to do the first time around. Not to mention great beaches.”

  Yasmine exclaimed, “I want to swim with the dolphins again, Mommy!”

  “Well, we’ll see how good you are, now try and get some sleep, my darlings,” I told them. My ploy had the desired effect on the children.

  I couldn’t exactly tell them the truth. That their father was probably balls deep in his secretary and that I couldn’t stand the sight of him right now.

  They eventually went back to sleep. I gassed up the car and prepared for the long drive. It took about nine hours to reach the hotel and I was tired. It was around 12:00 p.m. or so, when I checked us into a presidential suite. I ordered room service and went straight to sleep for a few hours, having convinced the children to watch the television in the other room. Ronan had no access to my personal banking account, so I was confident that if he did try to track me by the time he did we would be gone.

  Around 3:00 p.m., we went down to the beach and I bought Yasmine and Benedict a bucket and spade each. They played away happily, while I turned on my phone and texted Ronan’s number, telling him not to contact me and that my phone would be off from now on. I then took my writing pad and pen from my bag and wrote Misty Crewe a letter.

  To The Woman He Loves:

  I’m writing this letter with tears in my heart and a heart that is heavy as lead. I contemplated writing this letter to the other woman, to the woman who seems to have stolen my husband’s heart from beneath me. So many emotions are warring through my head and heart right now. I want to hate you and lash out at you with all the hatred that is coursing through my veins like venomous poison.

  Even in all this beauty around me, the sand that glitters beneath my feet and the sunlight gleaming down on me brightly from above, it’s not enough to lessen the pain that fills my heart brought on by you and Ronan. I look around at the seagulls dashing to and fro as the waves flow in the distance and think I should be enjoying this moment with the love of my life.

  I think of how I should be in this place kissing my husband under the crowning sunsets and frolicking in the water with our wet bodies plastered to one another like newlyweds. I think of how we can’t keep our hands off of each other long enough to get back to our room to make love, to make beautiful and wonderful love, so he takes me beneath the glorious stars as he makes love to me slowly but passionately. But because of your indiscretions, I’m on this beach alone, sitting beneath this umbrella with tears staining my cheeks, knowing that you don’t give a damn about the pain you have caused from your selfishness.

  Ronan is my husband, yet I’m sure you feel as if I’m the intruder in this three-way relationship. I wonder how this could be possible when you’re the interloper. I hate myself for all of these nagging doubts of me no longer being woman enough for my husband. I hate myself for letting my already staggering self-esteem be shot straight to hell, all because of you.

  I have a question for you, many questions really, but this one will suffice for the time being. Did you ever think about me and my children when you decided to lie down with my husband?

  Your actions will hurt more than me. My children are my all, just like I once thought Ronan was and I was his. There go those nagging doubts again making me wonder if anything between me and Ronan was real for all of these years.

  I have given the best years of my life to this man. I made some bad choices when I kept a very important secret from him. Why I’m telling you this is beyond me, but I need to let it out. See, it was during this time that you found a weak link in our fence and you entered to destroy the sanctity of our marriage. I know he’s more at fault, but you know about me. You met me at the company party and smiled in my face.

  I felt that maybe if I explained this to you it would help me own up to my own part in this mess. I’m not going to linger in giving you insight into my reality, so here are the facts. My annual exam showed I had stage one squamous cell carcinoma on my right ovary. I hid this fact from my husband because of the way my parent’s marriage ended when I was a young girl. I even went as far as to have surgery without him knowing. The surgery removed it all, thank God. The problems started when my body needed time to heal. I know, as surely as I am breathing, this is when you entered the picture.

  The devil found his way in through my secrets and lies. I own my part in this; I should have trusted my husband. These “should haves” plague me deep in my soul. I guess I am appealing to your sense of morals to walk away from my husband. I still love him with all of my heart, but I must know that I have his heart.

  If you’re any kind of woman, you will allow him to go and let him recommit himself to our marriage and family without further temptation.

  From a woman who still loves her husband,

  Ruby Michaels

  I wasn’t even sure if I wanted Ronan back, but I knew I wanted their affair to end so I could make that decision. I put the letter in my bag and watched the waves come in and out while listening to my children play. The sea always gave me a sense of calm.

  The sound of the distant seagulls was comforting, it was only when they swooped down near our food that it got annoying.

  Later that day, I took my children to the local mall to buy clothes and treats and posted the letter to Misty’s address, luckily I had noticed the house numbers on my way up the lane to her house.

  Chapter 26

  Ronan

  What have I done?

  I went into the kitchen and grabbed some rum from the cupboard and drank it down. I put the bottle on the counter.

  No, drinking isn’t the answer, Ronan. Think.

  My emotions were all over the place, part of me blamed Ruby for this. If she hadn’t shunned me, I wouldn’t have strayed. Just a few short months ago, I never thought about another woman. My affair wasn’t just about sex; Ruby wasn’t interested in me any longer and I went astray. However, I’d like to know who she was screwing, so I could go knock them out. Or, maybe I should have tried to work it out when she offered me the olive branch, now it was potentially too late.

  She had probably gone to Shauntay and Mark’s house. It seemed like the most logical place for her to go after dumping our kids on them often enough to go see her man. I jumped in the car and raced over there breaking the speed limit. It was past two a.m. but I didn’t care; I had to salvage this situation.

  I banged loudly on their door.

  There was no response.

  “Ruby! I know you’re in there!” I shouted.

  A few sec
onds later, the door swung open and Mark stood there in his boxers like an angry bear—definitely not amused by my late night visit.

  “What the hell is this, Ronan? It’s almost three in the morning and you’re screaming like a mad man!” he said with a scowl.

  I tried pushing past him to get inside, but he held me back.

  “I know she’s in there with my kids, Mark! Let me in. Ruby!” I called out past Mark’s shoulder and into the dark house.

  “She’s not here!” Mark said and pushed me back out the front door. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you need to leave, right now!”

  I was readying myself to punch Mark when Shauntay appeared at the doorway in her midnight blue gown. She looked me up and down. “What’s this about, Ronan?”

  I could tell by the look on Shauntay’s face that she was clueless about what was going on.

  “She walked out on me and took the kids with her,” I said.

  “Who Ruby?” Shauntay asked, her eyes big as saucers.

  “Yes, and I thought she might be here.”

  “Oh my God! What did you do, Ronan?” Shauntay asked.

  “I don’t know. She tells you everything. She’s probably off with her man that she’s been cheating on me with.”

  “What the hell are you talking about, her man?”

  “You’re her best friend, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Is she over at that loose chick, Serenity’s, house? She’s probably the one who’s been putting all of this nonsense in Ruby’s mind and causing her to cheat on me. Where is she, Shauntay?”

  “Serenity has nothing to do with Ruby’s disappearance. If you knew your wife, you would already know what was wrong with her.”

  “Oh, I do. She has another man, and she has no business dragging our children out so she can go whore around,” I said, raising my voice in disgust at the thought of Ruby having my kids out in the middle of her…well, our…deception.