To Love, Honor, and Perish

by Christy Barritt

  I stared at the man I loved. I soaked in his hospital gown. Uncountable tubes and chords ran from him. He wore a neck brace.

  I drew in a shaky breath and lifted another prayer. I stroked his hand. “Oh, Riley. We’re going to get through this. I don’t know how, but we’re going to make it through. That’s what you would tell me.”

  He said nothing. Of course.

  I could only hear the beep of his heart monitor. Hear the suction from the machine that pushed air into his lungs. Hear the pitter patter of nurses as they did their jobs all around me.

  Somewhere in the distance, someone laughed. Laughed? How could someone be laughing at a time like this? Didn’t they know my world had been rocked? Didn’t they know that the man I loved was on death’s doorstep?

  I lowered my head until my cheek touched Riley’s hand. That was the closest I could get to him without hurting him. I left my head there, torn between fighting tears of loss and wallowing in hopelessness or digging into that stubborn determination that I was known for and holding on to hope that Riley would come out of this.

  “I was going to buy your ring this week, you know. I had it all planned out. I was going to tell you that we needed to buy some crime scene tape to use as decorations at our wedding. After all, wasn’t it crime scenes that pulled us together? Of course, I’m not that tacky. I wouldn’t have really decorated with yellow police tape draped across the backs of the chairs. Then I was going to take you to the jewelers. I pulled some money out of my savings account.”

  I raised my head and looked at him. “How about my ring? Did you have a plan?” He remained silent. “I know you did. You always have a plan. Just what was it, though?” My words choked at the end as I realized . . . what if I never found out?

  I lifted my eyes and saw the heart monitor beating steadily.

  As long as that heart kept beating, I wasn’t giving up.

  No matter what anyone said.

  ***

  I’d been with Riley an hour. With each second that passed, my heart did a wild dance between acceptance of what had happened, mourning over the future, and hope that things would work out.

  Most of all, I found myself praying that I would wake up. That I could simply call my business partner Chad and find out what jobs were lined up for the week. That I could look for restaurants to host our reception. That I was wearing that dazzling wedding dress and that Riley would see me in it and be blown away.

  I wasn’t going to wake up, though. This was reality.

  Everything truly could change in the blink of an eye.

  The nurse moved the curtain aside and metal slid across metal in a slishing sound. “Someone’s in the waiting room for you.”

  It must be Riley’s parents, I realized. I tried to pull myself together. I wished I had some makeup with me, so I could cover the blotches on my face. I knew my hair had frizzed since I’d raked my hands through it so many times. My clothes were rumpled, and I may have even wiped my eyes—even my nose—on my shirt a few times.

  So much for good impressions. Just earlier, I’d been thinking about how much I wanted his mom and dad to like me. To think I was good enough for their son. To present myself in the best manner possible. I’d give anything for that to be my biggest worry right now.

  I wiped my eyes again and tried to pull myself together. I stepped out the door and stopped in my tracks. Riley’s parents weren’t here. It was . . . Parker? My ex-boyfriend, a fresh-faced FBI agent, and a Brad Pitt lookalike, all rolled into one person.

  His hands were shoved deep into his pockets. “I heard what happened.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

  He reached out his arms for a hug. “I’m really sorry, Gabby.”

  Against my better instincts, I accepted his embrace. I didn’t realize I needed one so badly. But I did. And I knew Parker wasn’t here with ulterior motives. No, he was a father now and in a committed relationship with another cop, a woman named Charlie.

  It had been a long time since I’d felt his touch. But there was only one man I wanted to hold me right now, and he wasn’t able to do that. But still, I appreciated Parker’s show of support.

  I stepped back, ready to be away from his familiar scent. I crossed my arms over my chest, not sure what to say exactly.

  “Have the police given you any updates?” He leaned against the wall, his hands tucked back into his pockets.

  “All I know is that someone came into Riley’s office this morning at around nine. They shot him point blank in the head, and Riley is lucky to be alive now.” I shook my head in disbelief. “Who would do this, Parker?”

  “That’s what everyone is trying to figure out right now. You don’t have any guesses?”

  “Milton Jones?” Doubt filled my voice as I remembered my earlier conversation with Adams.

  “He’s dead, Gabby.”

  “Until there’s a body, I don’t feel really confident of that. I don’t know who else would have done this. I really have no clue.”

  “Lawyers usually have their fair share of enemies. Riley never mentioned any?”

  I rubbed my temples, realizing I probably needed some water. I’d cried so much that I was dehydrated. My head felt woozy. “No. He never brought up anyone.”

  Or had I just been so wrapped up in my own life that I never listened? I prayed that wasn’t the case.

  “Is there anyone you made mad who might want to go after Riley?”

  His question felt like a slap in the face. I shook my head, unable to comprehend the implications. But I had to think about that possibility. Parker’s inquiry was a good one, however painful it might be.

  “There’s any number of people who might not be very happy with me. There’s that organized crime family.”

  “The Harrisons?” Parker asked.

  I nodded. “Yep, they’re the ones. Then there’s the Cunninghams—remember them?”

  “If it weren’t for the Cunninghams, we would have never met.”

  Yeah, I tried to put that meeting out of my mind and stick to more important matters. Not just today—all the time. “There was that guy from Allendale Acres.”

  “You do have a long list of enemies, don’t you?”

  I half shrugged. “Those would be the obvious choices, I suppose.”

  “Something the police should look into, for sure.”

  I shifted, crossing my arms. “Is the FBI getting involved?”

  He shook his head. “Not yet. There’s no reason to right now. The local police should be able to handle this.”

  “What if they can’t?” My voice cracked.

  His expression softened. “They can, Gabby. Come on. What happened to that spitfire that everyone knows and loves?”

  “My soul aches right now, Parker.” The rawness of my words made me uncomfortable. They showed my vulnerability and made me look weak. At once, I realized I didn’t care. Nothing else mattered right now except Riley.

  Parker frowned. “I know, Gabby. And I’m sorry. I really am. If there’s anything I can do . . . ”

  “I’ll let you know.”

  If only there was something I could do . . . besides pray. All of this was in God’s hands right now.

  I looked up and saw Riley’s parents step into the waiting room. I pulled myself together, bracing myself for another tough conversation.

  CHAPTER 4

  On Sunday, at six p.m., I sat beside Riley’s bed with the bittersweet realization that we should be getting married right now. My heart still ached when I thought about what should have been. One moment could change the thousands of moments that followed.

  Behind me, rain beat against the hospital window. Thunder shook the windowpanes and made the lights in the hospital flicker for a moment. Fitting, I mused, that it was storming outside at the very time my wedding should be taking place.

  I stared at Riley’s handsome face as he lay lifeless in the hospital bed beside me. He’d shown no signs of improvement in the past six days. Th
e ventilator kept his lungs moving. An IV kept him hydrated. A feeding tube kept him nourished.

  I’d stayed at the hospital as much as I could, but they wouldn’t let me spend the night in his room on the uncomfortable little chair beside his bed. After the first day, the hospital staff had only let me stay with him in ten-minute increments. Then his mom and dad would go in. No one outside of the immediate family and myself were allowed into the ICU.

  Every time I sat down beside Riley, my thoughts were flooded with the good times Riley and I had shared. I remembered meeting him in the apartment parking lot after I’d come from a crime scene turned fire. I’d looked like a mess with my singed clothes and hair. The smell of smoke had saturated my clothing. My hand was burnt, blistered, and bandaged.

  I remembered how he’d looked amused when I’d introduced him as my male secretary while I was investigating a case once. I thought about how he hadn’t even flinched before going out in public with me when I’d been dressed as a human pincushion. I remembered how he’d humor me by joining in when I would randomly burst into songs.

  My smile faded when I remembered Riley saving me from the trunk of a running car when I’d been left to die of carbon monoxide poisoning. I remembered when he’d found me beaten and bruised in the entry of the apartment building. I reminisced when he almost took a bullet for me when a deranged Santa had me in the crosshairs.

  Riley had rescued me on more than one occasion. Now it was my turn to rescue him, and I had no idea how to go about doing that very thing. I felt helpless as I sat at his bedside.

  To say the past week had been tough would be an understatement. On Tuesday morning, Kansas had called. The medical examiner there told me I hadn’t gotten the job. No, someone with a master’s degree had been chosen over me, simply because he had more education. She’d apologized, told me the decision had been difficult, and encouraged me to go the extra mile with my schooling.

  Even if she had offered me the job, I was going to tell her no anyway, but for some reason the rejection stung. I told myself that my overreaction was a combination of everything that had happened lately. But the idea that someone might have thought I was worthy enough to work in a professional capacity for the state would have felt nice. The idea that something in my life was going right definitely had its appeal.

  Instead, it looked like crime scene cleaning would be in my future for a while yet. I wasn’t even doing much of that since I’d been at the hospital. I’d worry about those bills later. Right now, I just wanted to worry about Riley.

  Detective Adams kept me updated on his investigation. The police had no leads. It was like the man who’d popped into Riley’s office had been a ghost. He’d left the law firm, walked down two streets, and then in a dead area between cameras, he’d disappeared.

  The police searched the video feeds from blocks around Riley’s law office, looking for a suspicious car or a suspicious figure. There was no one.

  All they knew was that the handgun used had been a 1911 Colt .45 caliber. It had been fired from the doorway of Riley’s office. Riley must have turned his head at the last minute, making the bullet only catch the side of his skull. Everyone agreed that the intended outcome was death.

  Adams had been interviewing everyone who’d been in contact with Riley over the past few weeks.

  But every lead came back to the same point. Every lead came back to nothing.

  I rubbed Riley’s hand. This was not the way my story was supposed to go. Today was supposed to be the happiest day of my life.

  God, how could you let this happen? I know that believing in You doesn’t promise us a life without trouble . . . but I can’t help but feel like You’ve abandoned me. Like Your love isn’t enough. Like my sacrifices have been in vain.

  I was new in my faith, but I hadn’t expected to feel so weak. This was my first real test, and it was a big one. Usually, I wanted to ace tests. Right now, a strange feeling of apathy was creeping in. I didn’t take time to examine it now.

  A drifting voice in the distance caught my ear. “You see that tattoo? You know what that means, right?”

  “The Guardians,” another woman whispered. “I’ve seen enough of those tats in my day.”

  “When I think about all the horrible things he’s probably done . . . Do you know how many lives this man has probably taken?” the other woman whispered.

  “It’s not ours to judge. We just have to do our job.”

  Through the gap in the curtain, I saw someone being wheeled past on a gurney by two nurses. They came to a stop at the curtained off room beside Riley’s.

  The Guardians. I’d certainly ticked the street gang off. What did a street gang do to people who rubbed them the wrong way? Who exposed their deeds?

  They got revenge.

  I had a hard time seeing any connection between this case and The Guardians, though. I mean, sure, the hoodlums hated me. The fact that one of them would be Riley’s neighbor while in the hospital was strange. But sometimes life was just like that.

  I couldn’t worry about them right now. There’d probably been some kind of gang fight, and now one of the members was here in the hospital fighting for his life. If someone came to visit him, I’d try to be careful, to not let my face be seen. That was all I could do.

  That was all I could do . . .

  Those sounded like words of defeat. Like the words of someone who’d given up.

  Those words didn’t sound like me. I was a fighter. An instigator. A person who got things done.

  I looked back at Riley and sniffled. I’d been sitting here a week. I’d convinced myself to let the police do their job. I’d told myself that would be best for everyone.

  But maybe the best way to help Riley was to find out who did this to him. To make them pay.

  Vengeance is mine says the Lord.

  I didn’t feel vengeance. Did I?

  No, this was justice. I couldn’t sit around and do nothing, not when there was a deadly gunman out there. I was going to track every lead in this case. I was going to make sure the person who’d done this would pay.

  And nothing anyone said would stop me.

  ***

  Riley’s parents stood as I stepped out from the ICU. Riley’s father, Ron, looked just like Riley, only twenty-five years older. His hair was gray but full. His eyes were hazel blue. Father and son shared the same tall, lean build.

  His mom, Evelyn, was tall and thin, with deep brown hair to her chin. In the past, she’d always seemed so confident and elegant. Right now, she seemed quiet and stately, but her grief had broken down some of her walls.

  Both of them had been cordial and grieving and they’d tried, in their own way, to offer me some comfort. But I knew they were too distraught themselves.

  I tried to smile as I approached them, just to be polite, but it didn’t work. Instead, I nodded behind me. “You can go sit with Riley now. I’m going to rest for a bit. I’ll be back to check on him.”

  Riley’s mom nodded, as if that pleased her. “You need rest in order to keep up your strength. These days in the hospital can wear down a person.”

  Riley’s mom looked like she’d aged ten years in the time since she’d been here. Today, her dark hair was frizzy, her makeup did nothing to cover up her pale cheeks, and her wrinkles, though few, seemed deeper.

  I squeezed her arm. “You take that advice too, okay?”

  “Oh, Gabby.” She pulled me into a hug.

  I froze for a moment with uncertainty before wrapping my arms around Mrs. Thomas. I could feel her chest jerking with sobs. I held back my own sobs that wanted to escape.

  “I know this has to be so hard for you,” she murmured. “When Riley called last week, he sounded over the moon that you guys were moving up the wedding date. I just wanted to let you know that. My son truly loved you.”

  I didn’t miss the past tense “loved.” Did Riley’s mom not think that he was going to come out of this? Our church had been holding prayer vigils ever since they got word
about what had happened. Riley’s story had been on the news. Organizations from across the country had called to say they were praying.

  This wasn’t the time I wanted to point out her wording, though. It was just a slip, an honest mistake brought about by not enough sleep, by too much grief.

  “I appreciate that,” I told her. “I’m not giving up yet, Mrs. Thomas.”

  “Call me Evelyn. Please.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Evelyn. I’m holding on to the hope that Riley’s going to come out of this and that the police are going to catch the person responsible.” If the police don’t catch him, I will. I kept the last part silent.

  “Riley always said you believed in him.” Riley’s dad stepped forward with a grim smile on his face. “He believed in you too, Gabby.”

  Riley believed in me. Now I was going to do what I’d been trained to do. To track the evidence that would lead me to answers.

  I forced a nod, my muscles tightening again, as they had been doing since I got this news. Grief did strange things to a body, I’d realized. Made you feel like you were outside of yourself. Made you feel like you were dying too.

  I remembered some of those feelings from when my mother died. Those emotions were back again and stronger than ever, memories I didn’t want to relive.

  “I’ll be back,” I whispered.

  I started down the hallway, trying to formulate my first plan of action.

  CHAPTER 5

  My first stop after I left the hospital was Mary Lou’s house. She’d dropped by the waiting room a couple of times in the past week and even left a pot of chicken and dumplings outside my apartment. She’d been one in a slew of people who’d come by. Each of those faces was a bit of a blur.

  She lived in a brick ranch house on Lake Whitehurst in Norfolk, not far from the Botanical Gardens there. Her back yard offered a beautiful view of the water. Apparently, her husband had been a lawyer, which had afforded them a nice life together. When he’d passed away five years ago, she’d gotten tired of sitting around and not doing anything. Two months ago, she’d gotten the job with Riley.