On A Silent Night

by Sterling, S. L.

Chapter Twenty-Five

  Cass

  We laid in bed together, wrapped up in each other. We had spent the entire late part of the morning in bed after our shower. My head was on his chest, fighting sleep as I listened to his heart beating in my ear, his fingers tracing tiny circles on my shoulder. In the distance, I heard the phone ring, finally stopping, only to start up again.

  “I should get that, it could be one of my customers,” I said, sitting up.

  “No way, you're not going anywhere, they can leave a message,” he said pulling me back down and into him. “I want you all day, right in my arms.” He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his tongue swiping through my mouth, my body going limp as I kissed him back.

  I ran my hand down his chest, over his abs, until I reached his cock. Taking it in my hand, I let it slip through my fingers. It wasn't long before he was hard.

  “I'll be right back,” I smiled and crawled under the covers. I heard him inhale as I ran my tongue up his shaft, taking him into my mouth, running my tongue around the head of his cock.

  “Fuck,” he moaned. I heard the familiar ringing of his cell phone, then he put his hand on my head, trying to get my attention, but I didn't stop what I was doing. “Cass… stop,” he said, breathless.

  I continued sucking while rubbing his shaft, ignoring his plea.

  “Cass, stop, the fire department is calling.”

  I pulled my mouth away from his cock, crawled up, and poked my head out from under the covers, grinning at him. Once he answered the phone, I ran my tongue around the head of his cock a couple of times before taking him fully into my mouth again.

  “You need me to come now? But the highway patrol has shut all the roads up here,” he said, trying not to breathe too hard. He laid back against the pillow, eyes closed, half listening to the other end while I sucked on his cock.

  “Alright, give me some time, I'll be there.”

  He hung up the phone and placed his hand on the back of my head, pulling my hair back away from my face so he could watch me take him in my mouth.

  “You are a bad girl.” He moaned to the ceiling. I could feel his cock throbbing, so I took him deeper in my mouth. I could feel his muscles tensing as I took him to the back of my throat just in time for him to come. His body finally relaxed into the mattress, and he laid there, breathing hard, stroking my back gently.

  “You have to go, don't you?” I whispered, resting my head on his stomach when his breathing finally calmed.

  “Yep. Two skiers have gone missing sometime last night up at the resort, they need all the help they can get to find them. With this storm, they could freeze to death if out in the elements much longer,” he explained, pushing my hair out of my face, looking into my eyes.

  “I don't want you to go,” I pouted.

  “There is no place I'd rather be than right here with you, but duty calls. These people need help, Cass.”

  I nodded, a funny feeling coming over me, a wave of nausea passing through me at the thought of him leaving.

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “Until we find them. They’re calling in help from all over, so hopefully, not long, but you never know. I don't want you to worry though, I’ll be with other guys, we don't search alone. You know that.”

  I lifted myself off him and let him get out of bed, watching his naked ass as he walked toward the shower. He was ready in minutes, and I walked him to the door in my bathrobe, fighting anxiety and tears every step of the way. The cold air hit me as he opened the door.

  “Oh, and Cass, no peeking under that tree,” he said, nodding toward the two wrapped boxes under the tree. He leaned in, kissing me hard. I watched as he pulled his hood up over his head and headed toward his truck.

  The memory that ran through my mind as I watched him disappear out of the driveway was enough to make me want to vomit. I felt like I was close to reliving the worst day of my life all over again, this time with a completely different man.

  A couple hours later, I was showered and dressed, sitting at the table, working on my book, a steaming hot cup of tea beside me and Missy in my lap. Brody had been gone for three hours by now and had sent me a text, letting me know he had just arrived at the ski lodge.

  Brody: Keep the house warm in case the power goes out. Get some wood in. Whatever you do, do not go out in this.

  I glanced over at the wood and saw I only had about a dozen or so pieces left inside.

  Me: Doing that know, be safe.

  Brody: This may not be the best way or time to tell you but you need to know, I love you

  I stared down at the screen and read over those three little words. Blinking again to make sure they were there that funny feeling returning to my stomach again. My hands shook as I deleted the first three words I had typed, correcting it, I pressed send.

  Me: Can't wait for you to come home.

  I sat the phone down on the table and suddenly, what I had typed struck me. Home, the word hit me, it was his home, and I sincerely couldn't wait until he was back here. I waited for a reply, but nothing came. I waited a little more, then I got up, grabbed my coat and boots and headed out to get some wood, just like he had asked. I opened the back door and stepped out into a blizzard. I couldn't see more than a couple feet in front of me for the blowing snow. I made my way over to the woodpile, loaded up the wood sling, taking it in the house. I made close to a dozen trips, then shut and locked the back door, pulling the curtains across the sliding doors. I was just piling more wood in the fire when I realized Brody was out in this nightmare of a storm. That was when the realization really set in.

  I sipped my tea, trying to calm the panic rising in me, but he wouldn't leave my mind. It was bad out, and a storm like this could trap someone for hours, even days up here. I knew he was fully trained, but I was still afraid I might never see him again. I grabbed my cell to see if he had responded, but there was nothing, so I sent another text off to him. “Answer me please,” I whispered. After five minutes, I sent another. Again, nothing. I wanted to hear his voice, I knew that would calm the panic, and I was just about to call him, when I heard a loud knock on the front door.

  I ran to the door with my heart in my throat, but as soon as I saw who was standing there, I felt the bile rise into my throat, and my heart sank into my gut.

  “Well, are you going to invite me in or just leave me standing out here in the blowing snow?”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Cass

  I looked at Ray, the cold air blowing into the house and couldn't move.

  “Cass, you look like you've seen a ghost. Are you going to let me in?”

  “Of course.” I swallowed hard and stood off to the side, making room for him, shutting the door behind him.

  “It's fucking freezing out, this storm came out of nowhere. I was on my way home but thought I better stop in and make sure you were okay.”

  “I'm good, Ray. Really. I have wood, a fire, and food in the fridge.” I didn't want him to stay, my mind a million miles away, worried about Brody.

  “Well, I'm here, so I may as well start by apologizing for my behavior the other night.” He shrugged out of his coat and took off his boots. “Mind if I come in to get warm?” he asked, his eyes meeting mine.

  It looked as if it didn't matter whether I wanted him there or not, he had already made up his mind, he was staying. He headed over to the wood stove and warmed his cold hands in front of the fire.

  “Where's your buddy?” he asked looking around the room.

  I hung his coat up on a hook, then walked over to the table and closed my laptop. We had enough to talk about, I didn't need to listen to his disapproval about my writing.

  “He was called to search for two people who are missing up at the ski resort.”

  “Aww, so we're alone then.” He walked over and placed his now warm hands on my waist, pulling me in for a kiss. I went through the motions, but other than that felt nothing.

  When his lips parted from mine, I pulled
away, turning out of his arms. “Do you want a tea or coffee?” I questioned, moving toward the kitchen.

  “Coffee would be good, thanks,” he answered. I could sense the disappointment in his voice, but he didn't let on that anything was wrong.

  “How's the book drive been going?”

  “Okay, I guess, this storm isn't going to help matters. It may shut us down for a day or two. Highway patrol shut everything down this morning. It couldn't have come at a worse time.”

  “How much have you raised so far?”

  “I'm just shy of five thousand,” I said, pouring him a cup of steaming coffee.

  “Well, that’s good then, they should be happy with what they get. I mean, after all, it’s more than they had to start.”

  I knew how Ray felt about me doing this. Sure, he liked the fact I wanted to help, but in his mind, if all I collected was five dollars, it would be good enough. I felt as though it didn't matter to him that I knew all too well the truth of what these families had been going through. Single mothers trying to raise children on a very limited budget, most of them wouldn't be getting a Christmas this year. At least with the money, they would be able to have a decent holiday meal and a gift for each child under the tree with a little money left over. It mattered to me what I raised. I knew these families well and knew they were struggling to make ends meet, just like I had, and I hadn’t had extra mouths to feed.

  “Yes, Ray, I suppose your right. However, the more I can give to them, the happier I will be. It matters to me.” I set my mug down and grabbed a pot to thaw my soup.

  “Is that what you're having for dinner? Maybe I'll join you. After all, it's getting later than I thought.” He glanced at his watch and plunked down on the stool, sipping his coffee, watching my every move.

  “Sure.” I dumped the contents of the half-frozen soup into the pot and turned on the stove. I was on edge and could barely even look at him after all that had happened while he’d been gone.

  We ate in complete silence. Every move I made, I could feel his eyes drilling deeper into me. I cleared the bowls from the counter and placed them in the dishwasher, then busied myself making another pot of coffee. I couldn't get my mind off Brody out in the cold, and I half listened as Ray went on and on about his trip. I glanced at the time, it was already eight. I knew once Ray left, I wouldn't be getting much sleep. I would need to spend the night writing to keep myself distracted from the bad thoughts I was having. I filled the coffee maker with water, then filled up the filter with fresh coffee grounds.

  Ray was making me super uncomfortable. I tried to put the fact he was watching me out of my mind. I glanced over my shoulder at him before going to the deep freeze to put the coffee grounds back in the freezer. As I shut the freezer door I felt his hands slip around my waist and his lips at the back of my neck.

  “I missed you,” he whispered. “I couldn't wait to get back here to you. I'm glad we have the house to ourselves.” He ran his hands up my body, taking my breasts into his hands while kissing the side of my neck. I closed my eyes, holding back tears, my mind going to Brody and the events of this morning. At that moment, I wished he was here instead of out there, and he was the one who was behind me, holding me, kissing me, and touching me.

  I stood frozen, feeling nothing but violated as he continued his assault on me. He ran his hands back down my stomach and slid them into my pants, running his fingers over my panties.

  “You're wet already, baby,” he whispered, taking my ear into his mouth.

  “Ray, stop,” I cried out, but he ignored me.

  I could feel his arousal pressing into me. He plunged his fingers inside my panties, dipping them into my wetness.

  “Fuck, you’re making my mouth water, baby, I can't wait to taste you.” He picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder.

  “Ray, please, I can't.”

  He smacked me on the ass. “What do you mean you can't?”

  “I got my period today.” I lied.

  Ray leaned in and kissed me. “That doesn't bother me, baby, you know that.”

  “It does me, so can we wait, please?”

  His forehead met mine, the look in his eyes told me he was questioning my refusal. “If we must. I probably should get home and unload the truck. You sure you got everything you need here?” He glanced over his shoulder at the pile of wood I had brought in.

  “I believe so,” I nodded.

  “It's fine, don't worry, once I get the truck unloaded I'll come back over, and spend the night. I want to make sure you’re fine.”

  “Of course.”

  Ray grabbed his jacket and threw on his boots. As soon as he was gone, I ran to my cell and checked for any messages, but there was still nothing. I quickly typed out a Wish you were here and sat down for my last few minutes of solitude and started writing.

  Before Ray returned, I quickly changed the sheets on my bed—they smelled of sex and Brody. Ray was coming back, no doubt spending the night, and there was no way to talk him out of it.

  I lay awake, listening to the howling wind while Ray snored beside me. I kept my cell phone beside me on the night stand, watching for the screen to light up, signifying I had a message. I was trying not to worry, but after another two hours, there was still nothing.

  I couldn't lay there anymore, so I got up, careful not to move the bed and took my phone out into the living room. The fire had died down, so I threw a couple more logs into the stove and went to make a cup of tea.

  I quickly typed out a message to Brody.

  Me: You there?

  It was useless, I didn't know why I was torturing myself like this. He was out searching for these kids, he was safe and fine, I told myself. I poured the boiling water into my cup and that was when my screen lit up. I rubbed my eyes, at first thinking I was dreaming, but the message sat there, loud and clear.

  Brody: Hey, baby, I'm here

  Me: Are you coming home soon?

  Brody: Still searching, just came back in to get warm and some food. I'm exhausted

  Me: I'm glad you’re okay. please come back to me

  Brody: No worries, baby, I'm gonna get some sleep, have to be back out in a couple hours

  Me: Dream of me

  Brody: Always

  I sat, staring at the words on my screen. What a mess I was in. The man I was in a relationship with was sound asleep down the hall, in the exact same bed not twenty-four hours ago, I had the best sex I think I'd ever had with Brody. Here I sat, texting the man I was in love with. My gut churned, everything had been fine until I opened the front door tonight and came face to face with reality.

  My stomach turned at the thought of having to choose. I was going to crush one of them, and I would have to live with that. On one hand, Brody had walked away from me, leaving me to fend when I had needed him the most. How could I ever be certain that he wouldn't do it again?

  Ray, on the other hand, had always helped, no matter what I had asked of him. However, he didn't treat me the way I should be treated, and he didn't support me in the things I did, things that were important to me.

  I took my tea and laptop and curled up into my armchair with a blanket.

  “Please tell me what to do, Jackson” I whispered into the air. “Give me a sign, any sign. It is Christmas after all.” I started feverishly typing away, praying that somehow, he would answer me.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Cass

  The storm lasted two days straight. Brody still hadn't returned, the news said they were still searching for those two skiers. My stomach was in knots as I got ready for work. I had barely slept or eaten since Brody had left. I made sure Missy had enough food and water for today as I would be later tonight than normal.

  I had just gotten to the shop and put the coffee on when Ray came in the back door.

  “Morning Cass.”

  “Morning.” I stepped out of the small kitchen, glancing at my watch. It was almost six. I had so much to do and a lot was weighing on my mind. />
  “I wanted to stop and drop off breakfast to you,” he said, handing me a bag from the coffee shop.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking the bag but avoiding his eyes.

  “Cass, is something wrong?”

  “Why would you ask that?”

  “You just don't seem yourself.”

  “I don't seem myself? You've got to be kidding. How can you even say that? I'm worried about Brody.”

  “Where is your lover? Thought he was supposed to be helping you?” he questioned.

  I felt the tears burn my eyes. Once again, I didn't understand why he was doing this, anyone who had watched the news knew where they were.

  “He's still searching,” I answered, pouring a cup of coffee and heading into the front of the store.

  I heard Rays footsteps follow behind me. I only had a couple hours to get everything ready to open. Not that there was that much to do, but the way I was feeling, it was going to take me a while.

  “Didn't you hear? They were found yesterday in the early morning. However, three members of the search team are now missing.”

  My stomach dropped, and I suddenly felt sick.

  “Did…Did they say who?” I could feel the tears welling in my eyes yet again.

  “No names were given yet, they say they may be dead. They apparently went missing the first night.”

  I bolted to the bathroom, almost missing the toilet as I threw up the empty contents of my stomach. I ran cold water onto a cloth and put it up to the back of my neck to stop the room from spinning, but it did little good. Ray appeared in the mirror.

  “What’s the problem Cass.”