by M. Lathan
I knew he meant our thoughts and I was grateful. At least her … well our … secret was safe.
“We aren’t sure, Master,” Remi said. “We need you to figure it out for us.” Liam turned around and raised his hand, poised to slap her.
“Drop your hand. She isn’t talking to you. When did you become her master?” Kamon said. He motioned Remi forward and smiled at her. She actually blushed. “Tell me why you need your master to figure out a simple blood test?”
Her hands shook, and she took a loud breath. “I never want to disappoint you with a mistake. I am nothing. I need you for everything. I think we all do.” Her tone sent chills up my spine. She sounded brainwashed. Insane.
“Remi…” Kamon said. Her face lit up, like she was surprised he knew her name. “I think you should sit in the front from now on. Liam has no business leading someone smarter than him.” Remi fell to his feet, and I jumped. Nathan pulled me closer, but I couldn’t try to escape. I was too worried for her. I knew how her life would unfold. She’d live to please him, possibly be bred. If she ever changed her mind, ever decided not to be devoted to him, he would make her life hell. “Get up, pet. Take your spot.” I shivered. Julian used to call Lydia that. Remi stood with a face full of tears and ran to where he pointed, at the feet of the triplets. “Liam, you may return to the back.”
“Thank you, Master,” he said.
Kamon stood from his throne, and Nate stepped in front of me. “Cute,” Kamon said. I wrapped my arms around Nate and tried to pull us back to my house. I shook, so hard that Nate tried to steady me, so hard that my nose leaked blood on his back. “Excuse me, young man. Give her to me.”
“No!” Nate yelled.
Kamon chuckled. “How do you humble a man, boys?”
“Make him a prisoner of the ground, Master,” the triplets said together.
As I held him, Nate’s back twisted, and he fell. He screamed, shaking all over. I reached for him, but Kamon flung him to the back of the room with a gentle wave of his hand. He moved closer to me, smiling, and I knew it was over. I also knew that because of the horror demented men like him had done to my family, I couldn’t cry or show an ounce of fear.
“Who trains you?” he asked, smiling, as charming as a prince from a fairytale. I didn’t answer, just stared at him while I contemplated spitting a mouthful of blood in his face. “Who owns you?”
“No one.”
He laughed. “You are bleeding. You’re either well bred or poorly trained. Join me. I can help you. You strike me as someone who belongs here. Do you feel at home, staring at them?” he said, pointing to his brainwashed followers on their knees. “Or perhaps them?” he said, pointing to the triplets.
I knew with unsettling certainty that if Kamon had gotten to me before Sophia, this offer would have been appealing. To finally be among people like myself, to finally not be an oddity. I would have joined him. I would have thought I was meant for this. But Sophia had gotten to me, so living alone in a glass box and being a killer would never be okay. I would rather die.
He reached his finger out and slowly collected my blood on his nail. His touch infuriated me, and his finger snapped as I stared, twisting painfully away from the knuckle. I’d never broken a bone before, but I’d imagined doing it hundreds of times. I didn’t even feel myself do anything. He grunted, but moved away as more of his fingers bent in the wrong direction. I wasn’t even looking at them. Then his right arm went. Then the left.
He howled, and an arm reached around my stomach.
Lydia turned me around. Her eyes were burning, and she was shaking all over. I knew it was because of me. Because she couldn’t handle the thought of me being hurt. I wanted to jump in her arms, thank her for saving me. Every piece of me knew she wouldn’t push me away, but we were around the man she wanted her child hidden from. Witnessing a world she never wanted me to see.
I pointed to Nathan, and she nodded.
“Get him,” she said.
I ran to him. He was stiff and straining, maybe to keep from shifting.
Lydia circled Kamon, shuddering. He laughed.
“Shut up,” she said, but I hadn’t heard him say a thing. “I could end you right now if I wanted to.”
He laughed again, stretching his mangled arms, breathing in like he enjoyed the way it felt. “But you won’t. You know what will happen if you do. You’ve taken a student, I see. Maybe two? A boy and a girl. I thought you were against that.”
She jumped at Kamon but caught herself before she touched him. “This will be over soon,” she whispered.
“I know. I’ve seen it too. You must be afraid,” he said.
She walked away without turning back. She didn’t look afraid at all. She took my hand and lifted Nathan with the other. I was seconds from this nightmare being over, but I suddenly felt more fearful than I had the entire time.
“Remi!” I screamed, like her life depended on it. She was the reason why we were here, but I knew more about this world than she ever could. I knew how it ended, how the decision to stay here would infect the rest of her life. “Please come with us.”
She said nothing, didn’t even look up. On her knees, she looked hollow, like the little personality she’d had a few days ago had been snuffed out. I wondered what she would smell like to Nathan now. I wondered what I could have done to stop it.
“I’m sorry, but we have to go,” Lydia said.
We left the chapel in an instant, leaving Remi behind to fester with Kamon. And all of those people, and the triplets too. If she wasn’t afraid of what he was doing, I had enough fear for the both of us.
Chapter Sixteen
Sophia swept me up in a hug a moment after we left the chapel. She was crying harder than she had last night.
“My love,” she said. “You’re okay. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Sophia,” I said. “Where are Paul and Emma?”
“My house. They were dropped off in the middle of nowhere and got home. They called me, and we found you as fast as we could.”
“And the others?”
“All fine. Thanks to you, I hear,” she said, holding me the tightest she’d ever held me.
I saw the room when she let me go. We must have been in California. The furniture was younger and sleeker. It wasn’t separated into two rooms like Vincent and Cecilia’s. A black loveseat faced away from the rest of the room in front of a flat screen, sectioning off a sitting area. The bedroom was black and white with random hints of color like the yellow lamp, blue pillows, and green rug. I marveled at the careful and interesting design until Lydia groaned as she put Nate down on the bed.
Right, his back had made an awful sound. I ran to them, and she flipped him over. His cries weren’t human, and they brought tears to my eyes.
“Sleep,” she said, touching the back of his head. His breaths slowed and his cute snores followed. “Can you…” She darted her eyes to me then back to him. “Hear him?”
“No. Kamon couldn’t either,” I said. “I guessed his middle name. That’s it.”
“Thomas,” she whispered. “Human given. Theresa.” She shivered. “Strange.” While I would have loved her to solve the mysteries in his past, it felt like his present and future were more pressing at the moment. I pointed at his back, and she pulled his shirt over his head. “His spine. It’s broken.” The scream stuck in my throat. I just wanted this awful day to be over. How many more times would I feel like I was dying? “It’s healing by itself already. I just need to set it right. He’s going to be fine. Do you want Sophia to check you out?”
Sophia didn’t wait for me to answer. I told her about the sedatives as she ran my bathwater. She cleaned the blood from my face and made me drink two glasses of water and one of orange juice before I got in the tub. After, she snapped and brought us to the kitchen. It was similar to the kitchen in New Orleans, just with darker wood and red chairs.
I wasn’t in the mood to eat, but she forced a sandwich down my throat.
“You don’t want to go and be with Emma and Paul?” I asked. She shook her head, but I didn’t believe her. “They’re your family, Sophia, and you’ve been with me for days.” We’d both jumped forward and backward on the clock, and I’d bet she hadn’t slept like I had.
“I love you like my own family, and this could have all been avoided if I didn’t bring Remi into your home. Or if I hadn’t gone through your phone and decided to give you and Nathan some time alone before intruding. Or if I’d let your moth- … Lydia handle everything and didn’t intrude in the first place. She isn’t speaking to me, and I am the most afraid of her when she’s this silent.”
I knew why she would be. Lydia had nearly killed her for calling me a copy. And even without that, Lydia was pretty terrifying.
For the first time, I initiated a hug with Sophia. She needed it.
“Go home. Go to bed,” I said. “I’ll tell her I’m fine, and if she’s still mad, you and I can team up against her. She can’t take us both.” She laughed, and I pulled back to kiss her on the cheek. “And you’ve taken great care of me. I can’t imagine what I would be doing today if you hadn’t come to get me. I wouldn’t have friends. And I wouldn’t have you.”
She wiped her eyes and kissed me a million times, all over my face. “You’re nothing like her. Not even a little bit,” she said.
When she left, I took a tour so I didn’t have to see Nate all broken and mangled. Outside, I found a pool that Sophia hadn’t filled.
“A pool house,” I said, walking closer to it. I’d seen one in the cheer-off movie. The captain lived in one instead of sleeping in the house with her parents. It was more convenient for her boyfriend. I opened the door and peaked inside. There was a little kitchen and open space where I guessed a bed or a sofa would be. In the movie, it was a bed, with clothes scattered all over the floor.
In the big house, there were six bedrooms, none furnished but mine. I was meant to live here alone.
The living room was amazing. The light blue sofa was long and a semi circle. It could probably seat ten. I walked over to my new movie library that surrounded the TV, impressed and excited. I wondered how Sophia knew that I’d love all of these cheesy, predictable movies when it was a shock to me. Maybe she knew that despite being the product of a seriously tragic love story and growing up depressed and lonely, I was still a teenager.
“Hi,” Lydia said. Her voice made my heart twinge. I hadn’t noticed she had on all black like a hunter until then – a black turtleneck, black pants, and long black boots. I waved without speaking, still taking her in. She could pass for my sister, well … half sister. She definitely looked too young to have a seventeen-year-old daughter. “He’s fine. Knocked out, but fine.”
“Thanks.”
I hadn’t noticed the clock on the wall until then. It was quiet enough to hear the seconds pass.
“Can we talk about what happened?” she asked.
“What part?” I whispered.
She chuckled and sat on the sofa. “Right … you’ve had a rough couple of days.” I sat unnecessarily far away from her. One more inch to the left, and I would’ve been on the floor. “You saved their lives. Do you feel like a hero?”
“No,” I said. It came out dryer than I’d meant it to.
I listened to the clock for a minute as she drummed her fingers on her knees. She stretched her neck to both sides, making the silence even more awkward.
“What was Kamon talking about?” I asked. “What should you be afraid of?”
“Nothing. Kamon doesn’t scare me.”
That sounded like a lie, to keep me calm, it seemed. I felt like she’d lost the right to lie to me, however. “It sounded like he meant you couldn’t kill him.”
She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, a nervous fidget. “I can’t.” The tense silence asked why for me. “To me, he is Kamon, the man who could hurt my child. To the world he is, Dr. Kamon Yates. After Julian, I wanted to kill him, but he disappeared. He used to send letters to my office to taunt and threaten me. He was a ghost for a decade, constantly eluding me. About seven years ago, he immerged at a benefit in his honor. Julian trained me to fight, and he had Kamon in a lab most of the time. He’s very smart. His research has cured quite a few diseases and caused many advances in medicine. Specifically, a form of childhood cancer. So, while I have wanted to kill him and remove that threat to you, it hasn’t been possible. It still isn’t. And if I did, let’s say blow his home up like I did with Dreco, he has people in place waiting to expose me and the agents and the hunters for what we really do.”
I couldn’t do anything but shake my head. Kamon was an evil genius, using science to appear as a good man to the world. Like Julian used politics, I guessed. Of course the Special Defensive Coordinator for the U.N. couldn’t kill someone like that, someone who healed sick children. And Nate and I had met him, possibly gotten on his radar. Wonderful.
“Don’t worry about him,” she whispered. “He’ll never … ever touch you again. No one will hurt you.”
That sounded like a vow. One she’d made long ago. The tremor in her voice darkened the mood. Our past rushed into the room, fast, threatening to drown us both or force us to float together. She leaned into her knees and wrapped her arms around her stomach.
“Christine.” She sniffed, crying already, drowning already. “How about I start with the truth Sophia and I should’ve told you days ago?” She took a loud breath and closed her eyes. “You are my baby who I’ve always wanted to protect but somehow manage to hurt instead.”
Her breath caught, and she covered her face.
“First, by leaving you. Second, by giving you powers and making you deal with them on your own. I had my eye out for obvious things. I never saw you do anything, and your grades were average … not like you could know things without studying. I thought it meant you were normal.”
I hadn’t thought about it that way. She would’ve seen what I wanted everyone to see – my performance of a shy, human girl. One who never cried. “I hid it well, I guess.”
“There aren’t many things that can be hidden from me, so it’s not an excuse. I should’ve known more about this … when I was carrying you and hurting you with my powers, when you were transporting all over your dorm on accident. I let myself be clueless.”
“Why?” I asked.
She leaned back on the sofa, wiping her eyes. “I think I’m … delusional. I was, anyway. You were safe from the dozens of horrible futures I’d seen about you, so in my mind, nothing else could be wrong. And I mostly watch you when you’re sleeping. Especially the last few years.” She huffed and paused for a minute, sniffing and whimpering. “I knew Whitney had left, but I didn’t see it. I didn’t see why. I figured you’d had enough of her. I found her to be terribly annoying. I assumed the other girls were annoying too and you preferred to be alone. I assumed … too much.”
I refused the tears building in my eyes. I thought if I closed them, the tears would be trapped there, and I wouldn’t have to cry for the millionth time.
“You didn’t think I was lonely? You didn’t think I was hurting from being picked on?”
I wanted to say, you didn’t think I needed you?
“I didn’t see it. It’s not an excuse. I know. But I saw … my baby. I saw what I wanted to see. You sleeping every night. Growing. Alive.”
“You ignored me,” I countered. “And you would have ignored me forever. Let me be alone forever.” I was winning the battle with the tears, but the rest of me was crumbling under the weight of this. I heard her move right next to me on the sofa. I felt safe, like she wouldn’t let me drown, so I jumped into what we were really talking about. “You gave up after you killed Julian. You sat in that forest and you let them take you. You let them take my mother from me.”
In the moments it took for me to catch my breath, the obvious truth nipped at me, impossible to ignore. I imagined her sitting in that forest, covered in blood, and I knew why she’d sat th
ere. How do you put one foot in front of the other when you dismember someone without the help of a weapon? She didn’t move because she couldn’t move.
“Well … after … after you should’ve come to get me,” I said, clinging to my point. “No matter what. You should have fought whoever could have hurt me, tried harder to find Kamon. You put so much energy into making the world safe and you left enough threats behind that I still needed to stay buried. That’s stupid. It’s ridiculous. It’s like you let the Lydia who was my mother die.”
It became eerily quiet again as I stumbled on another truth. That Lydia Gavin, the girl she became in the diary, had died. Whether it was from leaving us or dismembering the man who beheaded her parents, she was gone.
“I know. I’m sorry, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m not even asking for it. I just can’t live with you thinking you were in any way unwanted. I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing has come close from the moment I knew you were living inside of me.”
The tears seeped under my closed lids, begging me to see her side. However rash and delusional her decision was, she’d done it out of fear and love.
Like I was speaking for the baby who’d woken up without her mother, and the lonely little girl who’d missed her so much she formed a habit of sniffing oranges, I whispered, “How could you think I would get over you leaving? I missed you so much.”
Just as I broke, she pulled me to her lap. I folded instantly. Surrendering to that scent. To her. It was a strange feeling, getting my strongest need met without ever knowing I needed it. To be held by my mother. The woman who smelled like oranges and left me with nuns who didn’t smell like this. I didn’t want to cry anymore. My brain was wired to feel calm here. And satisfied. And safe.
“I don’t regret hiding you, baby, because I know you would’ve been hurt because of me. Either by Kamon or being stuck in solitude with me. I wanted you to have a normal life. That’s why I brought you there. That’s why I kept you there. But I do regret how you’ve felt about yourself. The magic. The devil. I could die knowing you had to deal with that.”