A Bitter Rain

by James D. Shipman

  “You need more rest,” he said. “We’ll talk more about this later.” She tried to rise again, but the spinning in her head defeated her.

  “Take these restraints off,” she pleaded.

  “I . . . I’m so sorry, child. I will, but not just yet. I wish I could stay with you while you rest, but I have to attend to some matters. Get some more sleep and we’ll talk at dinnertime.”

  She lay in the darkness, her mind whirring, trying to come up with some kind of solution, some miracle, anything that would help her achieve her daughter’s freedom. With new realization and new fears, she no longer felt the comfort of Gunther’s protection. She had to get Britta away as soon as possible. She tried to think of some way, but she was too exhausted. Soon she slipped back into a restless, painful sleep.

  She woke hours later to a bright, stabbing light. Dutt and Friedrich sat on the side of her bed, tugging at the straps, untying them. “How are you feeling?” asked Friedrich.

  She didn’t respond. The room was no longer moving, but the stabbing pain had not relinquished in the slightest. They helped her rise out of the bed. She saw she was still dressed in the same clothes she’d worn the night before. They pulled her to her feet and then slowly lowered the pressure on her arms, letting her find her own balance. When they were sure she would not fall, they left the room, giving her privacy to change. She shakily removed her clothing and put on a dress from a nearby wardrobe before heading down to the kitchen.

  Dinner was already waiting. There was hot soup, bread, and a roasted chicken. She realized she was ravenous, that she had not eaten in a day. She hoped this would restore her energy and clear her mind. She helped herself to a heaping bowl of soup, a slice of chicken breast, and several crudely cut slabs of the bread. She wolfed down the food.

  “I like to see you eating like that,” the captain said jokingly. “Perhaps we should knock you on your head more often. You could stand to gain some weight.”

  She smiled, trying to indulge the comment, but she felt no humor. With each bite, she felt a little better. Within a few minutes even the stabbing pain in her head seemed to recede some. She looked up and saw both Friedrich and Captain Dutt watching her intently.

  “What is it?” she said. She realized there was something new they needed to tell her.

  “I need to talk to you about something,” said Dutt.

  “What is it? What do you know?”

  “You won’t be happy with me. I’ve taken the only step I believe is left to us.”

  “You don’t mean?”

  The captain nodded. “I’ve been in contact with Gunther.” He raised his hand as she began to protest. “Not directly. He doesn’t know who I am or how to find us, but he knows someone out there is asking about Britta and is interested in finding her.”

  “I told you, you can’t deal with him. He’ll find us, he’ll find you.”

  “Trude, be silent,” said the captain, his voice stern. “There’s no other way at this point.”

  “What did you learn?” she asked, her desperation for information overruling her significant reservations.

  “We confirmed what we’d heard. He’s the commander of some sort of camp or jail out at Soldau. He took Britta with him. She’s safe still in a cell and protected. Gunther says he’ll make a deal for her, but it will cost us dearly. He said you Jews paid heavily already and you’ll pay again.”

  “He’s lying. He doesn’t want money. At least that’s not all he wants. He wants me.”

  “What do you mean?” asked the captain.

  She told them everything about Gunther, his statements, his hands on her, his threats, the secret shame she’d held back all this time.

  The captain looked at her in stunned dismay. “What kind of a scoundrel would grope a woman in front of her husband? Does this man have no honor?”

  She shook her head. “I told you, he has none. He’ll take your money and mine, and when he’s done, he’ll arrest all of us.”

  The captain stared at her in confused disbelief. Friedrich started to say something and then stopped himself. Dutt leaned back in his chair, stroking his chin with his fingers. Finally, he turned back to Trude.

  “At the end of the day, I don’t think it changes anything. I don’t know what else we can do. We must be cleverer than this man. For now, we will play this game and see if any other answers appear. We’ll find out how much he wants. I will figure some way to get Britta when we get him the money. If we’re smart enough, we can do this.”

  Trude did not answer. Captain Dutt, an honorable man, did not understand. You could not outmaneuver Gunther. He would never give up Britta no matter what promises he made, no matter how clever the captain was. She knew the situation was hopeless. But at this moment she didn’t know what else to do. Her head still hurt, affecting her thinking. Finally, she nodded her agreement.

  “Be careful,” she said. “Make no move that gives a hint of who you are. If you do, he will find you.”

  The captain nodded in agreement, and silence fell over the room, each of them picking at their food, no one knowing what to say or what to do.

  After dinner, Friedrich escorted Trude back to her room.

  “I’m going to have to ask you to lie back down,” he said. She didn’t understand him for a second and then realized he was going to tie her to the bed again.

  She shook her head. “No, Friedrich, that’s not necessary. I’m not going to harm myself. I promise.”

  He looked uncomfortable, but he moved forward. “Captain’s orders,” he said, reaching for her hand. She slapped it away and took a step back, fire in her eyes. “I said no.”

  He started to move toward her again, and again she slapped his hands away. “Friedrich, we’ve known each other so long now. You can trust me. I swear to you I will not harm myself.”

  He stood there a moment longer, clearly undecided about what to do. Finally, he shrugged and then looked at her sternly. “I have your word?” he asked.

  “Of course. I will do nothing to harm myself.”

  Apparently satisfied he stepped slowly backward and then left the room, closing the door gently behind him.

  Alone again, she was better able to collect her thoughts. Captain Dutt was wrong. She knew there could be no deal with Gunther. He would betray them no matter what, and even if by some miracle the captain was smart enough to protect himself, Gunther would never let Britta go, no matter how much money was paid.

  Was there any benefit in the captain negotiating with Gunther? A week or two would ensure Britta’s ongoing protection while they pursued discussions with the guard, no matter how unlikely or farfetched. And there was always the possibility of some other miracle taking shape, although after more than a year she didn’t know what that might be. She sat up for the endless hours of the evening, turning ideas over in her head, trying to determine what could be done. Finally, as dawn rose again she came up with a plan. She felt peace wash over her as she realized exactly what she had to do.

  At breakfast, she took another heaping plate of food: eggs, sausages, and boiled potatoes. She would need her strength today, assuming she could convince Captain Dutt to acquiesce to her plan. She realized she would have to do battle with him this morning. This would not be easy. He could be an immovable mountain, particularly when it came to protecting her. She would have her hands full getting his agreement.

  He was watching her closely, she realized. She smiled at him, and the curtain rose on her performance.

  He smiled back, taking the initial bait. “You seem much recovered this morning,” he noted, his eyes searchlights, carefully probing her face.

  “I got some rest,” she lied. “I feel a little better and so does my head.”

  He reached over, peeling back the bandage and looking carefully. He removed the rest of it and crumpled it in his hand. “I agree,” he said. “It looks much better. I don’t think you’ll need this anymore.”

  “I think you’re right, that we should pursue thin
gs with Gunther.”

  He smiled. “Thank you, Trude, for your vote of confidence. I can’t think of anything else to do.”

  “I can,” she said. “I have another idea.” He looked at her with interest and so did Friedrich, both leaning forward.

  “What is it?” asked Friedrich.

  “We should meet with the guard again.”

  Dutt shook his head. “That’s a dead end. I told you he won’t risk it.”

  “He might if we can put a human face to it, a mother’s face.”

  The captain’s eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t possibly be suggesting you would meet directly with him?”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I want to do.”

  Dutt sputtered his response. “Absolutely not! He’d have to arrest you on the spot. You might not even make it to him. They are checking papers everywhere.”

  “We must do this,” she said. “Listen to me. I told you, with Gunther there is virtually no chance. I think all we do by communicating with him at a distance is buy ourselves some time. He’ll never let Britta go willingly. He will take your money, and he will stall until he finds out who you are.”

  “This guard won’t risk his whole life for you. You ask too much.”

  “Probably not,” she agreed, “but at least with him there’s a chance. If he can see me, put a face to Britta’s mother. If I can tell him my story. You said he had friends who were Jews, that he doesn’t believe the Nazi ideology. There’s a small chance he might be able to do something for me. What if he has contacts in this Soldau camp? Another guard, anything. If he sees my pain, sees me as a human, I think he will do anything for us that he can.”

  “She’s right,” said Friedrich to Trude’s surprise. “I don’t like this at all. But she’s right. I don’t trust this Gunther a bit. If she says he will never let Britta go, then I believe her.”

  Dutt glared at Friedrich for a moment, clearly feeling betrayed. “We can’t let Trude go,” he said. “She’ll be arrested or turned in.”

  “I don’t know what other options we have,” said Friedrich. “If Gunther is as clever as she says, he will find us out. We will all be arrested, and we won’t have helped at all. On the other hand, this guard could have betrayed us already. He took the money, but he returned it. He’s an honest man. I think the worst that might happen is he will say no. If Trude meets with him, I think there’s a better chance he will help us. He’s already sympathetic because of Britta, but if he sees both sides of the story, there’s a chance he will do even more.”

  “I don’t like it,” said the captain, shaking his head. Trude smiled to herself, knowing she had already won. She looked at Friedrich, with a small smile of gratitude. He stared back at her with a surprisingly cold countenance. He doesn’t trust my motives, she realized. Well, I have the very best intentions, you will come to see.

  “I need to think about it for a little while before I agree. If I do, do you think you could arrange a meeting tonight?” he asked Friedrich. “I want a public restaurant, a big one where they won’t be noticed but with lots of people around. I want you nearby, Friedrich. If anything happens, you get her out of there and bring her home.”

  Trude breathed deeply in relief. Although the captain said he needed time to think, she knew she already had her answer. She would meet with the guard tonight if it could be arranged. She had won.

  After breakfast, she made her way into the courtyard. The day was cold but sunny. She sat with a blanket around her, the sun warming her face in spite of the frigid air. She closed her eyes and turned to the light directly, letting the warmth and rays shine deeply into her. She felt more at peace than she had in all the time since Britta’s arrest. Finally, she had a course of action. Something she could directly do to try to bring her daughter to true safety.

  She heard footsteps. Friedrich came out and affirmed that the captain had given his agreement and the meeting would take place that night. She nodded and thanked him, already knowing all of this would occur. She thought about God, about the supernatural and the unknown. She felt his power strongly today. She remained outside for the rest of the afternoon until the sun sank behind the trees.

  She’d enjoyed her time in the brightness, the illuminated sky and the beautiful clouds. The birds chirping, giving the first hints of spring, which was but a little way off. She sat that night with Captain Dutt and Friedrich as they ate dinner. She sipped tea without eating anything. She was too anxious now for food. Finally, it was time. The captain stood in front of her at the doorway, both his hands on her shoulders, staring intently at her.

  “Now you listen, child,” he said. “Keep your wits about you and your eyes in every direction. If anything happens that’s suspicious, you stand up and make your way quickly to the exit. Friedrich will be waiting for you. Watch the guard carefully. If he makes any sudden hand movements or starts looking around the room, you don’t wait a second, you get up and leave. You understand me?”

  She nodded, basking in the warmth of the love of this elderly gentleman who was like another father to her. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” she said, stepping forward to embrace him.

  “Now, now,” he said, “no need for any of that. I’ll see you back here in a couple of hours.”

  She stepped out of the house and into the car. Friedrich took his traditional place behind the wheel, and they motored out into the darkness. During the short drive to the restaurant he talked endlessly, giving her tips and repeating Captain Dutt’s instructions. She nodded without listening. She was looking out the window, noticing some of the snow had melted. She wondered again at the darkness and the abandoned feeling of her beautiful city. So much joy is gone out of our lives. All in the name of nation.

  They arrived at the restaurant, and Friedrich found a convenient parking spot directly in front of the main entrance.

  “You heard everything I said.”

  “Yes,” she answered. “Thank you for everything, Friedrich.” She grabbed his hands for a moment and smiled at him gratefully. She stepped out of the car and into the restaurant. The maître d’ was waiting, and she gave him the name of the guard who was already there. She was escorted to the table.

  The guard was young and, to Trude, looked almost a boy. His close-cropped hair was night itself, covering bright-blue eyes and eclipsing a soft, kindly face.

  “Frau Bensheim,” he said, whispering. She could hear the respect and decency in his voice. “It is an honor to meet you.”

  “I’m the one who’s honored, and thankful for everything you’ve done. Please, tell me about my little girl,” she said, her voice breaking. She steeled herself, knowing she had to keep control.

  “She is well,” he said. “Or at least she was.” His face darkened a shade. “I don’t know why, but Major Wolf has strictly ensured she is taken care of. She received the best food and was even allowed, under supervision, to play an hour or so a day in the prison courtyard.”

  “Did he . . . Did he see her himself?”

  He shook his head. “Not to my knowledge. I don’t think he ever went to visit her. That was one of the curious things the other guards discussed. He protected her but didn’t seem to have any interest in questioning her.”

  Trude felt relief wash over. This wasn’t definite confirmation, but it was good evidence Gunther had not turned his attention to her daughter—yet at least.

  “But now to the task at hand,” he said. “I wanted to meet you. I can answer any questions for you but . . . I’m afraid I don’t know what else I can do.”

  “I do.”

  She watched his jaw set, and his body became more rigid. He’s prepared for this. He’s worried I’m going to put his life on the line and he’s afraid he won’t be able to say no.

  “Don’t worry,” she said. “I only have a simple thing to ask of you.”

  “I’m sorry, Frau Bensheim,” he whispered. “I don’t know what else I can do.”

  “You can take me to Soldau.”
<
br />   His eyes widened in shock and surprise. “What do you mean? You can’t possibly. They would arrest you.”

  “I want to be arrested.”

  “You’re mad.” He started to rise, his face flushed.

  “Please, sit back down, let me explain.”

  He hesitated, then returned to his seat.

  “I want to be arrested,” she continued, “but not just by anyone. I want you to arrest me, and I want you to take me to Major Wolf.”

  He shook his head. “There is no way I can do that.”

  “Listen to me,” she said, straining to keep her voice as quiet as possible. “You don’t know Gunther like I do. Even now he’s seeking out the truth. He will find Dutt and Friedrich and eventually you. He’s caught the scent of this plot, and he won’t stop until he has all of you. You’ll be arrested and probably executed as traitors. None of that will help Britta, and none of it will help me. If I go to Gunther, I can protect all of you and I can protect my little girl.”

  “I don’t understand,” he said. “What does the major want from you?”

  “That is between Gunther and me,” she said. “I have considered everything, and this is the only way. Outside in the front Friedrich is waiting. We must leave by the back door. You must take me, and when you’re done, you must give this letter to Friedrich for the captain. It explains everything and exonerates you.”

  He hesitated, shaking his head, not knowing what to do.

  “Listen to me,” she said. “You don’t really have a choice. If you don’t do as I say, I will stand up and announce myself, and I will turn you in for collaborating with me.”

  His expression hardened. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “Look at me carefully. I’m desperate, and I’m out of time. The only small chance I have to save my daughter is to go to Gunther. I want to save you and everyone else, but one way or another I’m going to Britta.”

  He realized he was trapped. His eyes showed it. He hesitated for a minute longer, and then he finally nodded in approval.

  It was done. They would sit for a few more minutes and then they would leave. She felt terribly for Friedrich, but soon enough they would understand. She had protected the only Germans who had ever helped her. Well, those who were still alive, in any event. She was saving her daughter for now and giving her a chance for survival. It didn’t matter what sacrifices she was going to make. The only way Trude would ever see her daughter again was to survive whatever terrors awaited her. She was ready to face her crucible.