Who Said It Would Be Easy?

by Cheryl Faye

  “Okay. Wow, can you believe how this all worked out?” Charisse asked in awe.

  “Honey, I’ve come to realize that we should never be amazed at the movement of God. We need to learn how to expect a miracle,” Stefàn said.

  CHAPTER 24

  EXPECTING MIRACLES

  It was January twenty-third and the preceding five months had been rife with highs and lows. Charisse and Stefàn each prayed that with the new year, things would calm down and they would be able to get back to life in the slow lane.

  The adoption of Jared Malik Mills-Cooper was finalized near the end of September, although he had been living with them since Mrs. Mills’ hospitalization. Jared had been so excited about officially becoming Stefàn’s son that during that first week he introduced just about everyone he encountered to his “new dad,” regardless of whether they knew Stefàn or not.

  Mrs. Mills was in the hospital for two weeks after her heart attack and was sent to a nursing home upon her release, much to her chagrin. Charisse and Stefàn tried to convince her to come and stay with them, but she wouldn’t hear of it. Knowing that she would need around-the-clock care—which they had been willing to pay for—and not wanting to be a burden to them, her logic was that with their marriage being just two years young, the last thing they needed was an old woman under foot. She told them time and again that she planned to move into the senior citizens’ development her friend, Eva, lived in.

  Sadly, a week before Thanksgiving, Mrs. Mills suffered a fatal heart attack and never got to realize that dream. Jared took his grandmother’s passing very hard but Stefàn and Charisse did everything they could to assure him that they would be there for him for many years to come.

  In October, they learned that Julian and Michele were going to have another child. Michele had been skeptical about sharing the news with them because she realized, despite the adoption of Jared, how Charisse still clung to the hope that she and Stefàn would conceive their own child. Julian insisted that they would be happy for them regardless.

  Michele and L’il Jay were visiting at the Cooper home one Saturday afternoon. The boys were in the family room playing video games. Charisse and Michele were chatting in the kitchen. When Michele rose from her seat to place a cup and saucer in the sink, Charisse asked, “Shelly, are you pregnant?”

  Michele was slow to face her. In fact, Charisse noticed that she’d lowered her head as though she dreaded having to break the news to her. When she finally turned around, her face was sad, but she answered, “Yeah, I am.”

  “Why do you look so sad?” Charisse wanted to know.

  “I know how hard you and Coop have been trying….”

  “Oh, no, Michele. Did you think we wouldn’t be happy for you?” Charisse rose from her seat and embraced her. “Girl. If you weren’t pregnant, I’d hit you, but I don’t want to hurt the baby. I’m delighted for you. I think it’s wonderful.”

  Michele’s eyes watered and she returned Charisse’s embrace. “Julian told me I was being silly, but I didn’t want to make you feel bad.”

  “Oh, so what’d you think, that you’d hide out for the next six or seven months and then when the baby came, tell us a stork dropped it on your doorstep?”

  They both laughed.

  “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought that far ahead,” Michele admitted.

  “When are you due?” Charisse asked.

  “Around the middle of March.”

  “Girl, I really need to hit you. You been pregnant all this time and didn’t tell us?”

  “I’m sorry for underestimating your friendship. I promise it’ll never happen again.

  “It better not,” Charisse warned.

  Myra, too, learned that she was with child during those months and she and Barretto became engaged. They set a wedding date for after the baby’s expected arrival in July. Unlike Michele, however, Myra told Charisse the moment she found out, even before she told Barretto.

  “Can you believe it, Risi? I’m going to have a baby. Would you have ever imagined?”

  “Honestly, Myra, no, I don’t think I would have. But I’m happy for you,” Charisse truthfully replied. “With you and Shelly both expecting now, mine must be right around the corner.”

  Myra was silent on the line for the next few seconds.

  “You think I’m being overly optimistic, don’t you?” Charisse stated after the inflated pause.

  “No. I’m sorry, honey. I should have thought twice before I called you,” Myra sadly commented.

  “Why? I’m happy for you, Myra. For you and Michele. It’s been two years since we found out and since we’ve adopted Jared. Stefàn seems pretty content about the whole situation because he has his son, but I still believe, and I’m not going to stop believing, that God is going to bless us with a child of our own. I don’t care how long I have to wait. I’m not going to stop believing that. I’m expecting my miracle. I won’t ever let that go.”

  “I love you, Risi. Your faith is such an inspiration to me,” Myra told her.

  “I have to hold on to my faith in God, Myra. I’d be a nutcase without it.”

  And although Charisse was truly happy for her and Stefàn’s friends’ blessings, she did find herself a little melancholy at times, wondering, if indeed, she would ever experience the joy of giving birth to Stefàn’s child.

  A few days before Christmas Stefàn had been working late because he’d had to go out to the Queens building to meet with his superintendent regarding a tenant they were trying to evict for non-payment of rent. Arriving home at almost nine-thirty, Jared had already been put to bed since it was a school night.

  He found Charisse lounging on the chaise in their bedroom. The lights were low and the house was utterly quiet. At first he thought she might have fallen asleep since she didn’t stir upon his entrance, but then he stepped in front of her and noticed her tear-stained face.

  Reaching out to caress her cheek, he murmured as he knelt beside her, “Risi, honey, what’s wrong?”

  She opened her eyes and looked at him with the saddest expression he had ever seen. Feeling her pain, his heart broke into a thousand little pieces.

  Immediately folding her into his arms as one might a wounded bird, her barely audible sobs were as torturous for him as open-heart surgery without anesthesia. Instinctively, in the next seconds, he knew the cause and his own failure once again loomed large in his mind.

  His dream of being a father had been fulfilled when they adopted Jared. As far as Stefàn was concerned, he was his son and that was all there was to it. And although he knew that Charisse’s love for the boy was genuine, her longing for the joy of carrying a child to term and bringing it into the world was left unfulfilled. With Michele and Myra both expecting, and despite her true happiness for them, he was fairly certain that for her, their conception issues were maximized.

  Knowing there were no words he could say that could adequately address what he knew she was feeling, he just held her in silence. After a while, when he noticed that her sobbing had ceased, he lifted her into his arms and carried her across the room to their bed. Laying her gently on the sheets, he stood and began to undress, letting his clothes fall at his feet. Once completely disrobed, he moved onto the bed and pulled her into his arms. Charisse clung to him in desperation and Stefàn knew that the only comfort he could give her on this night was the most natural expression of love God had ever created.

  ON THIS PARTICULAR JANUARY MORNING, Charisse was in the kitchen making pancakes and bacon for breakfast. The previous night, eight inches of snow had fallen on their town and Stefàn and Jared had just come back inside from shoveling. At least, Stefàn had been shoveling—Jared had been making snowballs for the fight Stefàn promised they could have after they’d eaten breakfast.

  Charisse was at the stove when Stefàn entered the kitchen. Coming up behind her, he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. “Smells good in here.”

  “You must be starving after all that. Did J
ared help you at all?”

  “Not a whole lot, no,” he said with a chuckle.

  As if on cue, their son entered the kitchen and said, “Mommy, you should see all the snowballs I made.”

  “Is that what you were doing out there? I thought you were going to help Daddy shovel.”

  “Well, I got some of the snow out of the way, right, Dad?”

  “Yeah, I guess you could say that. How many did you make?”

  “About thirty or something.”

  “Wow! That many?” Charisse asked. “Are you going to share them?”

  As he took a seat at the table, he casually responded, “Nope.”

  “No?” Stefàn asked, feigning insult. “You mean, you’re going to make me go out there and make my own snowballs after all the hard work I did shoveling the driveway?”

  Jared grimaced. “Okay. You can have some, but not too many. You’re bigger than me so you could probably make them faster than me anyway.”

  “How many pancakes do you want, Jared?” Charisse asked.

  “Can I have three?”

  “Why don’t you start with two?” Stefàn suggested. “If you finish those, you can have a third one, okay?”

  “Okay. Can I have two pieces of bacon, please?”

  “Sure,” Charisse said as she placed a plate in front of him on the kitchen table.

  “Is it very cold outside?’ Charisse asked.

  “No, surprisingly, it isn’t,” Stefàn answered. “Baby, you sit down. Let me fix your plate.”

  “No, it’s okay. I’ve got it.”

  “Sit down. Relax. Let your man wait on you for a change.”

  She couldn’t refuse him that. “Yes, sir.”

  After breakfast, the three of them went out in the backyard and had a snowball fight. After that, they took turns making snow angels. Charisse and Stefàn were having as much fun, if not more, than Jared. Neither had done anything so carefree since they’d been kids, but with Jared as a part of their lives now, they found themselves more and more often reverting back to activities they’d enjoyed as children just to keep him entertained.

  Later that night, as Charisse and Stefàn lay snuggled in their bed, she said to him, “I’m really glad we adopted Jared. I love having him here.”

  Stefàn smiled and answered, “I’m glad you feel that way, sweetie. He’s a great kid, isn’t he?”

  “Yeah, he is. He’ll probably be a great big brother, too,” Charisse added.

  Stefàn was taken aback by her comment and asked, “Are you pregnant?”

  She chuckled softly, “I wish. Just wishful thinking, that’s all.”

  The telephone rang. Stefàn looked at the digital clock on the night stand as he reached out to answer it. “Who’d be calling here at eleven o’clock on a Saturday night, knowing we’ve got to get up in the morning for church? Hello,” he said into the receiver.

  “Stefàn, this is Johnny. Is Charisse there with you?”

  He picked up immediately on the urgent tone of Charisse’s father’s voice. “Yeah. Is everything okay?”

  “No, Barb’s mom had a heart attack. We’re on our way to the hospital.”

  “Oh, man. Where is she?”

  “Columbia Presbyterian.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  “No. Don’t come yet. Jared’s probably asleep. I’ll call you again when we get there. Star’s there with her right now and David and Jonathan are on their way. I’ll keep you posted.”

  “All right.”

  When he hung up the phone, Charisse asked, “Who was that?”

  Stefàn turned to her and pulled her into his arms. “Granny Nan had a heart attack, baby.”

  “What? No!”

  “That was your dad. He said they’re on their way to the hospital. He said he’d call as soon as they get there.”

  “We have to go,” she insisted as she pulled away from him and threw the covers off. Rising from the bed, she insisted, “I have to go see her. Where is she?”

  “She’s at Columbia Presbyterian. But, honey, Jared’s asleep.”

  “Then you stay here with him. I have to go.”

  Stefàn rose from the bed and hurriedly moved to her. She had begun to remove her bed clothes but he grabbed her. “All right, baby. We’ll go. But I’m not letting you go by yourself. We’ll take Jared over to Dub’s, okay?”

  “Fine.” Unable to maintain her composure, she broke down. “Oh Stefàn, please let her be okay. I don’t want to lose her.”

  “We’ll leave it in God’s hands, baby. That’s all we can do.”

  It was a few minutes after midnight when they arrived at the hospital. Charisse’s parents, sister and brothers were all there.

  “Where is she?” Charisse asked as she rushed to her father’s side.

  John embraced his youngest daughter, “She’s right in there. Mommy’s in with her.”

  Charisse moved away from him without hesitation and went to her grandmother’s bedside.

  Stefàn told her father, “She insisted on coming.”

  “I had a feeling she would. Where’s Jared?”

  “He’s with Julian. How’s she doing?”

  John shook his head. “It doesn’t look good.”

  Stefàn sighed.

  Meanwhile, Barbara, Star, David and Jonathan. stood nearby as Charisse embraced her grandmother’s prone body. Granny Nan looked weaker than Charisse had ever seen her and it frightened her. “Granny Nan, I love you,” Charisse cried in her ear. “Please wake up. I don’t want to lose you. Please wake up.”

  Stefàn entered the room then, going straight to Barbara. He embraced her and gently inquired, “How are you, Mom?”

  “I’m scared.”

  He reached for Star’s hand and pulled her into their embrace.

  Through the fog caused by the medicine she’d been given, Granny Nan opened her eyes and saw her family standing around. She felt Charisse’s tears on her cheek and reached a weakened hand up to caress her head.

  “Granny,” Charisse hopefully uttered.

  “Don’t cry, baby girl. Your granny’s tired,” she softly stated. She smiled at Charisse and told her, “I’m proud of you, girl. I’m so proud of you.” She paused and closed her eyes, causing everyone to hold their breath in dread. Seconds later, however, she opened them and asked, “Is that Stefàn?”

  He released Barbara and Star and moved to her bedside, “Yes, Granny, I’m here.”

  She reached out to him. “Come here, baby.”

  Stefàn took the frail appendage and leaned in close to hear her speak.

  “You take care of my girl. You hear me?”

  He smiled, though tears formed immediately in his eyes. “I will. Always.”

  “And you take care of those babies.” With the little bit of strength she had, she squeezed his hand and urged him, “You take care of them.”

  He looked questioningly at Charisse, but her attention was focused on her grandmother. Granny Nan closed her eyes again and sighed. Then she was gone.

  The funeral for Nannette “Granny Nan” Billings was six days later. By the time they’d left the Ellison’s home that evening after the repast and returned to New Jersey, Charisse was mentally and physically exhausted.

  Going straight up to her bedroom, she disrobed without ceremony and climbed right into bed.

  “Daddy, is Mommy all right?” Jared asked as Stefàn helped him prepare for bed.

  “She will be. She’s just a little sad right now.”

  “How come everybody’s dying?”

  Stefàn smiled and said, “Not everyone’s dying, J. It may seem like it with your grandma and now Granny Nan, but we’re still here, right?”

  He shrugged, “Yeah.”

  “Besides, both of them lived to a good old age and they enjoyed their lives with their families, but God wanted them to be with Him now.”

  “Is Grandma and Granny Nan angels now?”

  “I think they are.”

  “Can I go and give M
ommy a good night kiss?”

  “Yeah, I’m sure she’d like that.”

  Stefàn followed Jared into their bedroom but stood leaning against the door frame as their son moved to the side of the bed.

  “Mommy?”

  Charisse slowly turned to him.

  “I wanted to give you a good night kiss.”

  She reached for him and he climbed up onto the bed. Hugging him close, Charisse was unable to stifle the tears that came to her eyes.

  “Daddy said that Granny Nan is an angel now, so you don’t have to be sad anymore. She’s with God.”

  “I know, baby, but I miss her. I’ll be okay, though, so don’t you worry about me.”

  “I love you, Mommy.”

  “I love you, too, Jared.”

  He kissed her cheek and said, “Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” before jumping down from the bed and running back to his room.

  When Stefàn returned to Jared’s room to tuck him in, he told him, “That was a nice thing you said to Mommy. That’ll make her feel better.”

  “I hope so.” Jared knelt beside his bed and said a quick prayer as Stefàn watched. He then climbed into his bed.

  Stefàn kissed him on his forehead. “Good night, son.”

  “Good night, Daddy. I love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  A WEEK LATER, CHARISSE AWOKE FEELING NAUSEOUS. As she rose from the bed, a wave of dizziness hit her like a brick, causing her to swoon. Stefàn was just coming back into the room after taking a shower and noticed her unsteadiness.

  “You okay, baby?”

  “I just felt so dizzy all of a sudden,” she told him as she placed a hand on her forehead.

  “Sit down,” he said as he reached for her. “Maybe you got up too fast.”

  “I don’t know. I don’t feel that good. I feel like…” Suddenly, she wretched and, unable to contain it, threw up on the floor.

  “Whoa!” Stefàn gasped as he jumped out of the way of the trajectory.

  “Oh no,” she cried as she dabbed her mouth with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened.”

  “It’s all right, baby. Come on, let’s get you in the bathroom, just in case you’re not done.”