Intoxicate

by Tessa Teevan

  Dinner was relatively normal, and I’m not really sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing, because normal in this instance felt synonymous with familial. Like it was something we did every night—Xavier coming home from work, sitting around the table talking about our days. It was comfortable, and I could see myself getting used to the routine, so I made a mental note to keep these dinners to a minimum until I know where Xavier’s head is at. If he is considering dating and if he does think I might be a viable candidate, then I’d rather do that outside of the home, where prying little Lily eyes won’t be watching. Not just for my sake, but for hers. The last thing I would want would be for something that would upset or hurt her to happen, so I know I need to tread carefully with this whole pursuing-Xavier thing.

  As soon as dinner finishes, I get up to start clearing the table, but Xavier reaches out a hand to stop me, forcing me to sit back down.

  “That’s Lily’s job,” he informs me.

  Even though she does it a little begrudgingly, she gets up from the table and starts doing her chores.

  “Thanks, pumpkin,” he tells her when she passes by him, and she leans in for a kiss on the cheek.

  The entire scene is entirely too heartwarming, and I know I need to get out of here. Seriously. Dads and their little girls are my weakness—especially this duo.

  Clearing my throat, I scoot back from the table. “That was delicious. You really didn’t have to do that, but I appreciate it. I haven’t had a chance to go grocery shopping, so I was just going to pop by the market and grab something frozen. This was much better.”

  He taps his finger on the rim of his beer, and naturally, my thoughts go wicked as I think of other things he can rim. I squirm in my seat and will myself to snap out of it. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten lucky. Now I’m anxious to get home for an entirely different reason.

  “It’s not a problem, Kalli. I appreciate you agreeing to watch Lily for the summer. Ma practically went straight from raising me to raising Lily. It’ll be nice for her to get a break for a while. Plus, it’ll do Lily some good to be around someone a little more hip than Ma.”

  A slow grin spreads over my face as I raise an eyebrow in his direction. “Ahh, so you think I’m hip, do you?” I ask.

  “Well, I mean, you don’t know Frozen, so maybe you’re not quite up with the times, but it’ll be better for Lily to have a change of pace.” He glances into the kitchen, where she’s cleaning up, before he leans in close. “Between you and me, the whole b-r-a thing is starting to come up, and I’m already freaking out.”

  “I’m about to be in fifth grade, Dad. I learned how to spell words like ‘bra’ years ago,” Lily says, rolling her eyes in my direction and letting us both know she heard him.

  As much as I want to see how this whole bra conversation turns out, I take it as my cue to leave. “Okay, you two. It’s time for me to go,” I tell them, standing up.

  Lily gives me a pouty frown.

  “Hey. None of that! I’ll be back in the morning. It’s our summer, Lilypad, and we have plenty of time to hang out.”

  “All right, Lil. Say goodnight and go hop in the shower,” Xavier instructs, and she does just that. He turns to me. “I’ll walk you out.”

  When we get to my car, I hesitate for a second. “She’s a great kid, you know? You’ve done a fantastic job with her.”

  He lets out a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. “I know. I don’t know what I’d have done without Ma to help, but she’s getting older. And soon, she’ll be a teenager, and I worry about how things are going to change. Some days, I feel like she’s still my sweet five-year-old, and others, she’s a sassy fifteen-year-old. Either way, I’m not ready.”

  Placing a hand on his arm, I give him a reassuring squeeze. “Trust me, Xavier. She’ll be just fine. Between your mom and Lucy, she’ll have plenty of females around to answer any questions she may have as she gets older. But I promise, as someone who spent plenty of years as a teenager girl, you’ll get through it just fine.”

  “I hope you’re right,” is his response.

  “Hey. If nothing else, she’ll always have her cool Aunt Kalli to have her back.”

  A warm, genuine smile spreads over his face, and his dark-brown eyes seem to twinkle in the moonlight. “Well, in that case, I guess I should just stop worrying. Thanks, Kalli. Something tells me it’s going to be a damn good thing to have you close by.”

  “You know what, Xavier? I have a feeling it’s going to be a pretty damn good thing for me, too.” With that, I open up my car door and slide inside before rolling the window down. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “See ya,” he echoes.

  I pull out of the drive, not missing the way Xavier watches me until I’m out of view.

  AS I’M pulling into the parking lot of my apartment complex, my phone rings and I see that it’s Lucy.

  “Hey, Luce. What’s up?” I ask.

  “I just wanted to check in and see how your first day was. Make sure Lily didn’t drive you crazy and Xavier didn’t get you all hot and bothered,” she teases.

  Somehow, someway, my brother’s girlfriend, who’s quickly become one of my closest friends, figured out I have a thing for Xavier, and she’s been itching for me to get here so she can play matchmaker.

  I try to play it off, but there’s no fooling her. “It was fine. In fact, I’m just getting home.”

  She lets out an exaggerated gasp, and I roll my eyes. “It’s almost eight p.m. and I know Xavier wasn’t out that late. The only things he does are go to work, go to the gym, and hang out with Lily. We’re lucky if we get him to go out once every few weekends.”

  “It’s not a big deal, Lucy. I’m guessing he did go to the gym after work because he came home in running shorts and a T-shirt, but he had dinner with him and invited me to stay.”

  Lucy squeals, and I have to hold the phone away from my ear. “He invited you? See? I told you he liked you!”

  “It wasn’t like that. I think he felt bad for staying out later than expected, so he was just saving me from a night of frozen pizza. That’s all.” My protest falls flat.

  “Whatever, Kalli. Xavier never does anything he doesn’t want to do. If he asked you to stay for dinner, it’s because he wanted your company. Your first day and you’re already spending time together.” She lets out a dreamy sigh. “I have nothing going on tomorrow. What do you say I bring Jacob by and we can dish about that hunky dad you’re pretending not to lust after?”

  “Fine, fine! I’ll be at his place by eight, so stop over whenever you want,” I agree, hoping to get her off my back.

  The last thing I want is Lucy trying to push us together. Even though it seems like maybe he’s finally showing interest, I don’t want to push him. It’s been ten years coming, and if slow is how he wants to play this—if there even is any “this”—then I’m okay with slow. I don’t want any outside interference spooking him from making a move. This is something he has to realize on his own, and if the way he acted today is any indication, I think he’s beginning to.

  “Perfect! See you in the morning,” she responds, and we say our goodbyes.

  Once I’m settled into my apartment, I lie back on the couch and think about the day. I can’t help but smile at the memory of Xavier’s eyes studying my body earlier. I guess I don’t have to worry about him finally seeing me, because I saw the look on his face this morning. I’m almost positive that the vision of sixteen-year-old me has finally faded in his eyes. And for that, I’m thankful.

  That doesn’t mean I’m going to jump headfirst into this thing. For my sake, Xavier’s sake, and Lily’s sake, I need to be careful. There’s no rush. I’ve waited this long to see if there could be something between Xavier and me. There’s no reason to be impatient. For now, the important thing is that I take care of Lily to the best of my ability and nurture my friendship with Xavier.

  After that, everything else can fall into place.

  Fingers
crossed.

  THE NEXT morning, when I knock on the door, I don’t miss the way Xavier’s eyes swoop down my body as soon as he answers it. Unfortunately for him, the girls are completely covered up this time. Yesterday, I wasn’t thinking when I got dressed. I just threw on my usual beach town attire—a tight tank top and shorts. I don’t want him to think I’m dressing to impress, especially when I’m supposed to be babysitting. I didn’t, however, expect to see him checking me out again, and I may let out a little cheer in my head. I keep my cool, though, and give him a beaming smile.

  “Morning, Xavier,” I greet him cheerfully, trying not to stare at his naked chest. And those pecs. And those abs. I want to run my fingers over the light scattering of hair on his chest to see if it’s as soft as it looks. Hard muscles, soft hair. My freaking weakness.

  And holy mother of Spanish saints, those biceps. I’ve never been an arms girl, but in this instant, I want to reach my hand out and ask him to flex so I can feel just how hard he is. The thought makes me think of another possibly hard body part, and my eyes flick to his running shorts.

  “You coming in?” he asks.

  I look up to see him raising an eyebrow in my direction. I quickly divert my eyes. My cheeks flush pink for at least the tenth time in twenty-four hours, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m as ready for this as I thought. Sexy, cool, confident Kalli is turning into a-puddle-of-mush, giddy-schoolgirl, oh-em-gee-he-just-winked-at-me Kalli. That has never happened before, but then again, Xavier’s always brought out a different reaction in me than most other men do. Hence the revolving door of short-term relationships and lack of I-love-yous in my life.

  “Kalli?”

  Oh, right. Raising my eyes to meet his once again, I spot the cocky smirk on his face. “Umm . . . what was the question?”

  His chest rumbles with laughter, and I swear to God his pecs move up and down. My mouth waters as I watch with rabid fascination.

  “It’s okay, Kalli. If I can check out the girls, I figure it’s only fair for you to check out my package.” He wriggles his eyebrows up at me, and I let out a giggle.

  A freaking giggle! What twenty-seven-year-old woman giggles, for Christ’s sake?! I’m out of my element here. This isn’t a side of Xavier I know. Not that I’m complaining, of course.

  Okay, Kalli. Get it together. Deep breaths. Act normal.

  How do I act normal when he’s not?

  Or maybe he is? Is this our new normal?

  Shut up, Kalli, and stop talking to yourself in your head. Snap out of it!

  “Your package? Seriously?” is the first thing I think to say.

  Smooth, Kalli. Go back to being funny, jokey, ha-ha-he-said-package Kalli.

  He just shakes his head and smiles. I have half a mind to grab his coffee mug and do a taste test. What is he drinking this morning?

  “Come in already. Lily’s eating breakfast, and I need to get dressed,” he informs me, taking my hand and pulling me inside. My fingers tingle as they’re encased in his, a fire igniting low in my belly at the slight contact.

  “Need any help?” I ask, this time wriggling my own eyebrows up in his direction. Down, Kalli! Remember, you’re supposed to play it cool.

  “You wish,” he says playfully.

  I push his shoulder back. “You wish I wish!” I respond like a thirteen-year-old.

  He laughs, and it’s the sweetest sound. I swear he doesn’t do enough of it, and I make it my personal mission to make sure he laughs at least once a day. Perhaps twice, even. I watch as he shakes his head and disappears down the hallway. I resist the urge to follow him and make my way to the kitchen, where Lily’s eating a bowl of cereal.

  “Hey, Lilypad,” I tell her, leaning my elbows on the counter after I pour myself a cup of coffee.

  She cheeses and greets me with a mouthful of chewed-up Cheerios. Gross. I wait until she finishes chewing and finally tells me, “Good morning.”

  We banter back and forth over the merits of Belle (my team) versus Elsa (her team). There’s nothing like old-school Disney animation films, but she’s just not having it. I refuse back down until Xavier comes into the room, catching my attention by looking like a sex ad. Female recruiting would skyrocket if he were on the brochure. Seriously, is there anything hotter than a guy in uniform? How about a half-Hispanic, six-foot-two, super-sexy man in a uniform?

  Now if only I could get him to actually break out his practically nonexistent accent . . . That would just be the icing on the cake. If he would say Kalliope and roll his Ls or extend the I? Oh yeah, I’m now imagining him whispering my name, his lips hovering just above my ear, his warm breath teasing my skin.

  Kalliiiiope. Swoon.

  Mmm. The thought it a little too arousing, so I shake myself out of it but still shamelessly check him out.

  He goes into the kitchen and pours more coffee into his mug. It’s not spiked. I checked. So whatever was with his teasing demeanor this morning was all him, and that makes me a little giddier than necessary. He leans his hip against the counter and takes a sip, wincing like the hot liquid is burning his tongue. Why do men do that? It’s hot, idiots!

  “So, what’s on the agenda for you two today?” he asks.

  Lily looks at me expectantly.

  “Well . . . for starters, Lucy and the baby are coming by. I thought we’d check out the park.”

  Lily jumps out of her chair and squeals. “Yay! I have to go get dressed!” she exclaims, starting to run out of the room.

  “Lily.” Xavier’s voice stops her in her tracks.

  She turns around and gives him a sheepish smile.

  “You forgetting something?”

  “Sorry, Daddy.” She runs towards him and wraps her arms around his waist, giving him a hug.

  He leans down and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Have fun today, and be good for Kalli, okay?” he says, ruffling her hair.

  “You got it,” she tells him. “See ya tonight!

  With that, she flounces out of the room, proclaiming that she can’t wait to see her baby “cousin.” Clearly, I’m going to have some competition with the baby-holding today. Rising from my chair, I follow Xavier out to the living room, where he puts his beret on.

  Yep, you guessed it. Sexy as hell.

  He’s just about to the door when I say something stupid. I blame it on the beret. And the boots. And that damn package I can’t stop thinking of.

  “What? I don’t get a kiss on the cheek, too?” I ask playfully.

  I’m only teasing, which is why I’m completely caught off guard when he turns on his heel and I practically run into his chest. Shock takes over when he actually leans in and presses his lips to my cheek as soon as he ensures that Lily’s still out of the room.

  If I could pause this moment in time, I would, but all too soon, he’s pulling away. Involuntarily, my hand comes up to cup my cheek, and I lean into it as I look up at him, his face only mere centimeters from mine. All I can do is stare at those lips. Lips that were just on my skin. Lips that curve around the bottom and then up the top as they form a smile that showcases deep dimples on his tan cheeks. His smile, as silly as it sounds, takes my breath away. No, really, it literally does as I slowly release all the air from my lungs in a deep, swoony sigh.

  “Are you guys having a staring contest? ‘Cause I gotta tell you, Aunt Kalli, Daddy almost always wins.”

  Xavier’s head pulls back as soon as he hears his daughter’s voice, and I suck in a deep breath at her interruption.

  “Yeah, Lil. A staring contest,” he tells her, giving me a wink.

  A swarm of butterflies attacks my belly at this new, playful side of him. All too soon, however, he’s leaving.

  “See you two, tonight.” With that, he’s out the door.

  “Well, well, well,” comes from outside.

  I groan when I peek out the screen door and see Lucy standing on the porch, my nephew Jacob cradled in her arms. She has her eyebrows raised at Xavier and an enormous ear-splitting grin on her fa
ce.

  “What was that?”

  Xavier’s face turns stoic, and I can’t read him. His eyes flick back to the door, and I lean back just in time so that he can’t see me eavesdropping. I know how he feels about that.

  “Nothing, Luce.”

  “Mmmhmm. Looks to me like things are pretty cozy around here. You sure move fast, Cruz,” she teases, and I groan, wishing she’d shut the hell up and back off.

  “It’s been a day, Lucy,” he informs her as if that’s supposed to mean something.

  It’s been a lot longer than that. For me, at least.

  “According to Kaylie, it’s been ten years and inevitable,” Lucy challenges.

  Xavier lets out a deep breath. “Meddling women,” he mutters. “I don’t have time for this. See ya later.”

  Something about his tone tells me that Lucy struck a nerve, and I wonder . . . does he think it’s inevitable, too?

  I’m leaning against the wall beside the door when I hear it open. My hands are clutched to my chest in a ridiculous heart-holding fashion, my eyes closed as I try to remember the feeling of his lips on my cheek.

  “God, this is going to be so much fun.”

  I open one eye to see Lucy standing there, a silly grin on her face. “It really is,” I agree.

  And we start giggling like schoolgirls, not stopping until Lily walks up and reaches for Jacob.

  “You guys are so weird.”

  I DON’T know what the hell I was thinking acting the way I did with Kalli this morning. After she left last night, all Lily could talk about was, “Kalli this, Kalli that.” I can’t remember the last time I saw her so animated and excited. The girl I normally have to fight to get into bed was more than eager to turn her lights off so she could wake up and hang out with Kalli again. I think it’s good for her to have a younger woman around.

  Hell, I think it’s good for me to have a younger woman around. It’s all I could think about when I woke up this morning. The first thought when I opened my eyes was wondering what she’d be wearing. If I could get her to stay for dinner again. If she’d want to stay for dinner again. My morning wood was practically throbbing, and even though I could’ve blamed it on my lack of action lately, I know it was my thoughts of her that were keeping me hard as steel.