by Tessa Teevan
Relief washes over me. “I need a girls’ night to forget a certain single father.”
She answers me with a sigh. “Hold on a second,” she says, and I can tell she’s put the phone down. “Okay. We’re all set. I have just the place. Even better, Kale says he’ll spend the evening with Jacob and be our D.D.”
“What’d you have to promise him?” I ask. Then I think better of it. “Wait! No, don’t tell me. Please don’t tell me.”
She laughs. “Okay. I won’t tell you that I promised he could break out the toy box.”
“I so didn’t need to know that,” I tell her. It doesn’t exactly help, getting a reminder of what they have. Of what I want. But I love them. As happy as I am for Kale and Lucy, however, I can’t help the pang of jealousy that rips through me. “Pick me up at eight?”
“You’re on.”
When I hang up the phone, I see several missed calls and even more texts from him. Somehow, I resist the urge to look at them. I have a feeling I’ll cave as soon as I do. He’s my weakness, and at the end of the day, I know he’s just worried about his changing relationship with Lily. How can I love it and be mad at him for it? Even though I know I’m going to give in and get over it, I want this—one night to be pissed.
Tomorrow, I’ll let it go. Tonight? I’m having fun. Dancing and forgetting.
Definitely forgetting.
BY THE time Kale and Lucy pick me up, I’ve already enjoyed a couple of shots of the cherry moonshine my neighbors gave me when I moved in. Needless to say, I’m already feeling better.
“Damn, girl. Are you on the prowl tonight?” Lucy asks when I open the door.
I’m also looking hot in my little red dress that leaves little to the imagination. Size-wise, my boobs aren’t anything to write Hugh Hefner about, but they look damn good thanks to the built-in teacup bra in my dress. It’s formfitting, showcasing my ass, which is tight from daily yoga sessions. Hitting at mid-thigh, it makes my legs appear longer than they are, which is helped by the strappy, black heels I have on. The look is complete with flawless makeup, curly hair, and an “I don’t care” attitude. I look like I’m ready to let loose and have some fun. A far cry from the girl inside, who would be just as fine with throwing on her PJs and pouting in front of the television all night.
“I’m just looking to have a good time, Lucy. I need to dance and drink until my mind is fuzzy! You and me, sister. No boys allowed,” I tell her, knowing that finding some random is the last thing on my mind.
Kale shakes his head. “Come on, you two. The sooner you go out, the sooner I can get your asses home.”
I give him a kiss on the cheek and bound outside to his car, cooing when I see my nephew in the back seat. “He gets cuter every time I see him. I need to get one of these,” I joke.
Lucy turns around and raises her eyebrows up at me. “That biological clock ticking, Kalli?” she asks.
I laugh, shaking my head. “Heck no. I think my biological clock is broken. I’m not mom material.” I don’t know why I said that last part, but Lucy just shakes her head.
“Are you kidding? You’d be a great mom. You just need to find a man to procreate with.”
“That’s the problem,” I say a little too quickly.
She glances at Kale, who doesn’t seem to notice, then back at me.
“We’ll have plenty of time for girl talk at the bar,” she says, shutting me up before I give away too much in front of my brother
For the rest of the ride, I play with Jacob, and before I know it, we’re pulling up to some sort of dive bar.
“Okay, kids. Have fun and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Just let me know when you need a ride and I’ll be on my way.”
Even though it’s only a little after eight on a Saturday, the place is already pretty busy. We’re fortunate to find a table at the edge of the dance floor. Even more fortunately, a waitress notices us as soon as we sit down, and it’s not long before I’m on my second margarita and spilling the beans to Lucy. And when I say beans, I mean all of them. Every single one. From him staying with me the night after our last drinking session, to our “date,” to him showing up, to what happened earlier today. As I relay it all, I get more confused.
“I mean, am I wasting my time here? I feel like I’ve been waiting forever and things were finally—albeit slowly—falling into place. Then, at the first sign of something he didn’t like, he snapped. Almost like he was waiting for me to screw up to prove to himself that this wouldn’t work.”
Lucy’s face softens. “Girl, I wish I could understand men. They say we’re complicated when they make things ten times harder than they need to be.”
“Was Kale that complicated?” I ask.
She takes a sip of her margarita and tilts her head to the side as if she’s thinking. “Honestly? Not really. Once we both admitted we wanted more than friendship, it was really easy. That is until the whole Tara thing came up, and the only reason it bothered me was because he never told me. Everything else with us? It just kind of fell into place. I got lucky with that one.”
“He’s just as lucky, too, Lucy. You two are so good together.”
“We really are,” she says, giving me an affectionate smile. “Now, let me take a shot at this whole Xavier thing. Now that I’m a mom, maybe I can get it. Think of it this way. Xavier and Lily—Anna, too—have had the same dynamic for the last ten years, and when you spent the summer watching Lily, things started changing. She’s relying less on them and more on you, especially now with the whole womanly advice she’s seeking out. It probably just freaks him out that he’s losing control. He’s always been her only parent, the one in charge, so when he thought you’d allowed Lily to get her ears pierced without getting his permission first, he jumped to conclusions and got angry.”
“But I didn’t—” I protest.
She holds a hand up to stop me. “I know that, and he knows that now. I guarantee you he feels like an ass. But at the time, he didn’t know. Should he have rushed to judgment before you could get a word out? No, and hopefully he’ll learn to bite his tongue next time. Go easy on him. He’s not used to this.”
“If there is a next time,” I mutter.
She shakes her head at me.
“What? Don’t look at me like that! We haven’t even kissed, Lucy. We’ve been doing this ridiculous song and dance for nearly five months now and I haven’t even made it to first base with the guy. Hell, I’m not even up to the plate!”
“Ah. Now I get where your frustration is coming from,” she teases.
I glare at her. “It’s not funny! Do you know how long it’s been since I got laid? Almost a year! I’d already had a dry spell before I moved here, and then this whole thing with Xavier. My mom is getting more than I am. My mom!”
“Okay, that’s more than I needed to know about Ginger. How about we get out there and work off some of your frustration on the dance floor?” she suggests.
I agree, more than ready to get what happened earlier with Xavier off my mind.
TWO HOURS, too many margaritas, and several grabby-handed assholes later, Lucy tells me that she’s about down for the count. Signaling that she’s going to call Kale, she goes off the dance floor. I know I should follow her, but I’m feeling good and not ready for the night to end.
With perfect timing, I sense a presence behind me just before a pair of strong hands grips my hips as I sway along to the beat. The stranger keeps a safe distance between us—unlike those other jerks who wanted me to grind on their erections. He’ll be a suitable dance partner, and I move back on my own accord until I know my ass is merely inches from his groin.
Closing my eyes, I tilt my neck up towards him. “It’s not a junior high dance party. We can dance. Just don’t grab my tits or my ass and we’re good.”
His throat clears as he moves one hand from my hip around to my stomach. “Definitely not junior high. And you’re so far from the sixteen-year-old girl I once knew. Is this okay?” he asks, his voice ra
spy but completely familiar.
My eyes fly open as my heart rate shoots through the roof. He’s here? Swallowing hard, I try to keep my cool, not wanting him to feel how affected by him I am. Wanting him so badly yet wanting to push him away like he’s been doing to me.
“You tell me. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m trying to be someone I’m not,” I spit out, wincing at the venom in my voice.
He sighs, his head falling as his lips come down to my ear. “Lo siento,” he murmurs, his voice sexy, smooth, and downright arousing. Dammit!
Even I remember the Spanish apology, and he knows exactly what he’s doing by whispering it. It already has me wavering, a small piece of my irritation washing away.
“I mean it. I’m so damn sorry, baby. I was out of line, and I spoke too soon. The truth is, you’re probably the closest thing Lily’s had to a mom, and for a minute, I lost it. I’m an idiot.”
I sigh and lean my head back against his chest as we continue to move along to the beat, deciding not to talk until the song ends and he can hear me. My thoughts are racing. He came looking for me, and I already want to forgive him. But I don’t want to be that girl. The doormat who lets everything go with one sexy smile and an apology. It’s conflicting, to say the least. And right now? I don’t want to do anything except enjoy this closeness.
Tilting my neck, I look up to meet his eyes. He’s watching me, waiting, his eyes a mixture of hope and worry.
“You hurt me, Xavier,” I admit, and his eyes falter. “But I get it. I do understand, and we can discuss it later. But right now? I want to forget everything and everyone else and just be you and me. For one night, let’s just drink, dance, and enjoy ourselves. Think we can do that?”
A look of relief washes over his face. “Anything you want. Thank you for not pushing me away.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Now dance with me, Cruz.”
“Just a second,” he tells me.
He jogs over to the DJ. They talk for a minute, and then he comes back to me, taking my hand.
“He’s a guy in my platoon and he owes me a favor,” he explains. “Dance with me?”
As I nod, he pulls me farther onto the dance floor, putting his hands on my hips again as I face him. All irritation melts away when the song starts and the singer croons in a seductive Spanish tone. Shaking my head, I peer up at him, noting his smug expression.
“You’re pulling out the big guns on this one, aren’t you?” I ask, and he just winks.
The next verse is in English, and the song continues in a back-and-forth fashion. His eyes never leave mine as he sings every Spanish word to me, nearly causing me to combust on the spot. It’s sexy, and I lose myself in the music, in Xavier’s arms, and everything else melts away as I focus on this dance. I’m already over what happened this morning. If that makes me a doormat, then so be it. I can’t continue to be angry even if I wanted to. And I don’t.
My desire builds as his hips move in a slow, sensual rhythm, as if he’s seducing me through the music, with the dance and only the slightest of touch. The closer he pulls me in, the more turned on I become. Suddenly, the image of us moving this same way in a horizontal fashion fills my mind, and I nearly come on the spot, my legs squirming as I bite my lip and look up at him, wishing our clothes could somehow disappear.
Xavier must sense my arousal, as his hands grip my hips harder. He turns me until I’m facing away from him and then pulls me in, the evidence of his own arousal pressing up against my ass. He continues to sing softly, my heart fluttering at the sensual-sounding phrases. Even though I have no idea what he’s saying, the smooth sound of his voice combined with the warmth of his breath tickling my ear sends tingling sensations down my spine. God, how I want this man. I need this man. I ache for him. The anticipation is both making me feel so alive and killing me softly with each second his lips don’t touch mine.
“Kalliope,” he whispers, his voice thick and rich like the darkest of chocolate. I’ve never had a more intense craving than I do right now. “Me vuelves loco,” he continues, groaning softly as I circle my hips and move against his hard body. His hand comes to my stomach to hold me still. He repeats himself, and the words have moisture pooling between my legs. I tremble at his touch. “You have no idea what you do to me.”
Feeling bold, I take the opportunity to turn in his arms, wanting to see his eyes as he says these things to me. Starting at his lower stomach, I press my hands against his shirt and slide them up his chest, feeling every inch of him, the hard planes and ridges causing my mouth to water. Placing my arms around his neck, I meet his smoldering eyes and know he was right all along. Every moment leading up to this has been completely worth it.
“Then tell me. Show me,” I insist. “What do I do to you? How do I make you feel?”
His head falls slightly, and I can see the battle waging there—the one he’s been fighting for so long. I silently pray that he’s ready to give in to me. To us. I can’t take much more of this roller coaster. Not that I’ll ever get off the ride, but for once, I want to experience the thrill after the highest climb.
In true Xavier fashion, he places a kiss on my forehead. “Te necesito.” Another kiss to my cheek. “Te deseo.” His lips come down to hover over mine, stopping just millimeters away like he’s done so many times before.
I hold my breath, anxiously waiting for his kiss. Our first kiss. There’s been enough anticipation building up to last a lifetime, and if he doesn’t hurry, I’m going to explode.
His eyes lift and bore into mine, filling me with disappointment. His strong arm hooks around my waist, and he pulls me in tight. Chest to chest, his hard length resting against my belly. The disappointment fades as quickly as it arose.
“Quiero hacerte el amor, Kalliope.”
Whatever he’s saying is lost in translation, and everything around us fades away as his mouth covers mine, taking me in a soft, leisurely fashion. It’s languid and unhurried, and the longer his lips are pressed to mine, the more the tension builds. With his mouth still firmly closed, he applies extra pressure, pouring every ounce of desire into the act, but he doesn’t deepen it, still kissing me with a tenderness I’m unused to. It’s unlike any kiss I’ve ever experienced, and I know that this was worth waiting for. As he promised, it’s the perfect first kiss. Every moment before this melts away. The waiting, the back-and-forth, the whiplash—none of it matters anymore. Xavier was right. The anticipation was worth it. I will always remember our first kiss.
The epic one to rival them all. At least, it is for me, and I will never forget this.
As his lips caress mine, his hand comes up to grip my chin, tilting my head until our mouths are perfectly aligned. He doesn’t slide his tongue into my mouth like I was expecting him to. Instead, he takes his time becoming familiar with my lips, shifting from soft and slow to hard and deep, surprising me that such passion could come from one simple act. As the thought crosses my mind, he licks my bottom lip, and I moan into him, opening my mouth and giving him full access to take whatever he wants. To take me.
His tongue sweeps across mine as his other hand slides down to the small of my back until it rests just above my ass. I sigh inwardly, not wanting this moment to ever end. My hands grip his shoulders as I try to increase the pace of our kiss, but he doesn’t allow it. He’s in complete control, kissing me slowly, gently, as if he could do this all day, as if he has all the time in the world. Pleasure riots throughout me, setting my nerve endings on fire.
Wanting him to give me more, I suck on his tongue, causing a low growl to emit from his throat. Soft vibrations massage my tongue, shooting daggers of pleasure between my thighs. He pulls back, and I immediately miss his kiss. I’m panting as if I’ve just run a marathon, yet he seems completely unaffected. Until he rests his forehead against mine, and I see the unsure look in his eyes.
“Kalliope . . .” he breathes.
I’m suddenly afraid he’s going to pull back again. To make some excuse as to why he shouldn
’t have kissed me or say that it was the heat of the moment or whatever the hell else he’s going to try to say to ruin this moment.
“Don’t, Xavier. You were right. The anticipation, the buildup, everything. That was the best first kiss . . . Hell, the absolute best kiss of my life. Please don’t ruin it by saying it shouldn’t have happened.”
His eyes soften, and he doesn’t pull away as I lean up and press a kiss to his lips. “I wasn’t going to say that, crazy girl. I was just trying to bite my tongue and not say, ‘I told you so’,” he says, grinning down at me.
“Way to ruin the moment, ass,” I tell him.
He chuckles. The kiss unleashed something ferocious inside me, and it’s all I can do not to drag him into the bathroom to get right back in that moment.
Looking around, I realize Kale will be here any minute. Taking his hand, I lead him to our table, which is thankfully still empty. “Let me shoot Lucy a text telling her I don’t need a ride.”
“Already taken care of,” he says, and I gape at him. “I was at Kale’s when Lucy called about needing a ride. Since you live closer to me than him, I told him I’d get you home.”
I cock an eyebrow at him. “And you just assumed I’d let you?”
A boyish grin crosses his features. “I was hoping,” he says, taking hold of my hand, the whole thing sobering me up more than any concoction Mom could give me. “I meant it, Kalli. I’m sorry for what I said. I hope you’ll forgive me.”
“I was mad. I want to be mad. But I can’t. I believe that you didn’t mean it. And after that kiss? The last thing I feel is anger,” I tell him, pausing as the waitress comes to take our drink order. “Maybe we can talk about it later, discuss why you reacted so quickly, but not now. Not tonight.”
He nods, and I’m thankful we’ve gotten past this hurdle pretty easily. Just as he’s about to take a sip of his bourbon, I can’t stand the not knowing anymore. I lean over and place a hand on his thigh.
“Care to translate for me?”