by Tessa Teevan
His fingertips stroke the skin up and down my arms as he mulls it over. “I think it’d be best if you stayed in my room,” he finally says, and I have to force myself not to squeal. Score! “You know, for appearances sake.”
The tone of his voice is quite light, so I think he’s teasing. I tell myself he is, anyway. “I think I can handle that. You know, for appearance’s sake.”
THE THOUGHT of Kalli not moving in with me bothers me more than it should. When she acted surprised, I had a brief moment of panic until she asked what room she’d be taking. As if there were any question that she’d be anywhere but in mine. We still haven’t resolved the whole thing with her apartment, but I let it slide for now. We only have one more day and one more night, and I vow to make the best of it. And after that earth-shattering blow job, I’m ready to lock her in my hotel room until it’s time to leave for the airport.
She changes the subject, and we settle into comfortable conversation as we soak in the tub. All the while, foreign emotions are rising to the surface, but instead of running like I usually would, I want to embrace them. The way I feel is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. It’s been so long since I was intimate with a woman, and until this weekend, I’d certainly never bathed with one. But after two nights of her hot, slick, naked body pressed up against mine, I have half a mind to install an oversized Jacuzzi tub as soon as I get home.
Home.
I have no idea what’s going to happen when we step off that plane or how I’m going to break this news to Lily. All I know is that the saying “what happens in Vegas” doesn’t ring true for me.
Because I most certainly don’t want it to stay here.
OUR LAST day passes entirely too quickly, especially since Lucy and Kaylie have made it the official day to celebrate our marriage, dragging us from club to club and then surprising my wife with tickets to a Britney Spears show. Knox and Charlie get out of it, and I want to as well. Not exactly the way I wish to spend my last night in Las Vegas, but the look on her face as she takes in the lights and the choreography makes every second worth it.
And when we get back to the room, she shows me what a quick study she is, giving me her own personal strip tease. She barely has her panties off before I’m pushing her up against the wall, sliding into her, and pounding relentlessly into her warm, tight pussy.
The rest of the night is much of the same. We fuck frantically, make love slowly, and don’t leave a single piece of furniture untouched as we try to get our fill of each other. Almost as if we’re unsure of what’s going to happen when we leave this place.
Sometime before dawn, we finally pass out in each other’s arms, completely and utterly spent. All too soon, the alarm on my phone breaks me out of my deep sleep. Groaning, I pick it up and am greeted once again with our wedding photo.
“I’m glad you thought to have that taken.” Kalli rises up behind me and places her chin on my shoulder as she looks at the photo. “Not that I’ll ever forget it.”
Shifting so I’m on my back, I pull her onto my chest as I stroke the naked skin of her back. “I know you never planned on marrying, Kalliope, but I still hope it was at least somewhat close to the wedding of your dreams.”
Her sleepy eyes gaze up into mine as a slow smile spreads across her lips. “Like I said before, some things change.” She lifts up to press a quick kiss on my lips before settling back down against my chest. “The wedding was beyond my wildest expectations. This weekend was beyond my wildest expectations. You, Xavier Cruz, are beyond my wildest expectations.”
Her sentiments nearly knock down the last bit of wall that’s been around my heart since Lily’s mom left. Kalli Montgomery—Cruz—has undone me, and I know that no other woman will ever measure up.
Glancing at the clock, I see we have a little bit of time left. After rolling us so that she’s on her back, I settle between her legs and my cock nudges against her opening. She’s already wet and waiting, and I slide right in with extreme ease. As if her pussy’s already molded to my shape, my length, and it was just waiting for me to come home.
“God, Xavier,” she whispers. “I never knew it could be this good.”
Her words send me into a frenzy as I rock in and out of her and place my hands underneath her ass so I can go deeper than before. Deeper, according to her, than anyone ever has. It’s not long before she’s crying out, her orgasm washing over her. I’m not ready to come, though. I’m not ready for this weekend to be over. I’m conflicted.
I want to go slow. But I need to go fast.
Reluctantly, I slowly slide out of her, scoop her up in my arms, and take her to the shower to quickly finish off. She has other plans. She lowers to her knees and nearly brings me to mine as she works me over with her mouth, leaving me with one thought.
I know I will never get enough of this woman.
We get ready in silence, and before I know it, it’s time to leave. Just as I’m at the door, Kalli calls my name. She wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes me tighter than she ever has before.
“Thank you. This weekend was amazing.”
I smile down at her and kiss the top of her head. “The best,” is all I can say.
The emotion of leaving this place is one I don’t currently want to examine, and she seems to get it as she takes my hand and leads us out into the suite, stepping out of our bubble and going back to the real world. Back to reality.
As we head towards the stairs and load up into the waiting cab, something between us shifts. An uneasy quiet settles, and I wonder what she’s thinking as she stares at the window and watches the hotel until it’s out of view. My knee starts anxiously bouncing up and down, and Kalli sets her hand on it, stilling my movements. I cover her hand with mine, spotting the wedding band she surprised me with after we got out of the bath the night of our wedding. It looks so foreign and out of place, yet I’m already used to it being there, even only after a couple of days.
We check in at the airport in a blur, passing through security and waiting with the others until we can board the plane. Kalli jokes around with her sister, who keeps asking her about the size of my package and what we’re going to do with the rest of the honeymoon stage.
Doubt and fear begin to creep in, and I wonder if we were so caught up in the weekend that we didn’t think about the consequences. Or how vastly things are going to change. We went from being at a standstill to diving headfirst into this thing, and for a brief moment, I contemplate taking a step back just so we can regroup. It’s obvious we need to have a discussion to renegotiate terms, because clearly, the pact has been thrown out the window. Maybe some guys can have a weekend of meaningless sex. I know I certainly have. But this weekend with Kalli? I wasn’t lying when I told her that I could fall in love with her, and every minute spent with her nearly pushes me over the edge. What about the pact? Are we going back to that? Can we? Will the physical nature of our relationship mess things up in the long run?
As the questions fire off in my brain one after the other, suddenly, the airport’s too small, too cramped, and I feel like I can’t breathe. Pulling on the neck of my shirt, I stand and start pacing.
“Hey, man. You okay?” Kale asks.
I stop and see Kalli watching me, her eyebrows narrowed in confusion. Clearing my throat, I nod. “Yeah. I’m just gonna hit the can before we board,” I tell him, not meeting Kalli’s eyes.
As I stare at myself in the bathroom, I wonder what the hell I’m doing. We said no emotions, yet she practically told me that she’s already in love with me. What am I supposed to do with that? My life did a complete one-eighty in a matter of days.
I splash cold water on my face and brace my arms against the sink, trying to shake the anxiety out of my head. It does little to help, and as I go back out to the concourse, I take a seat next to Knox and pull my phone out, losing myself in a game of Angry Birds until we’re finally called to board.
“Xavier, what’s going on?” she asks when I buckle in next to her.
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I swallow hard and muster up a smile. “What do you mean?” I ask, feigning ignorance. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I honestly don’t want to talk about it right now or I’ll say something fucked up. I just need time to think—and not when I’m feeling claustrophobic on a tiny airplane.
She sighs and folds her arms across her chest as she shifts in her seat to look directly at me. “You’ve been acting weird since we left the hotel. You were so fun and carefree and open with me this weekend. Now, it feels like I’m literally watching you retreat back into your shell the farther from Las Vegas we get.”
There she goes again. Reading me like a book.
“Look, nothing’s wrong. I’ve just been thinking,” I say, and she rolls her eyes. “What?”
“You’ve been thinking. Three words every woman wants to hear,” she says, sarcasm lacing her tone. She sighs. “Go ahead and get it over with. Say what you’re thinking.”
Now it’s my turn to sigh, but I owe it to Kalli to be honest. I take her hand and clutch it tight. “This weekend was incredible. And I’ll never be able to thank you for what you’re doing for me—and for Lily. It’s just . . . I’m worried about her reaction by springing all of this on her. And then there’s what we said—no emotions—and sex might confuse that. So maybe when we get home, we go back to keeping things platonic. Just so no one gets confused.”
She blinks at me as if I spoke unintelligible Spanish. “Platonic? Why? Are you afraid you’re going to get too close? Because I have to tell you, Xavier. We can’t get much closer than we did this weekend.”
I wrinkle my brow, knowing she’s getting this all wrong. Or I’m saying it all wrong. “No, I just mean with Lily. I’m not sure how to explain what we are now. Hell, I don’t even know what we are anymore.”
“So, what are you saying?” she asks, taking her hand out of mine.
“I just mean we should take a small step back as we ease Lily into this transition. That’s all.”
Kalli gapes at me briefly. Then she closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths.
“Kalli? What are you doing?”
When she reopens them, fire blazes there. “Yoga breathing. Centering myself so I don’t lose my cool on this airplane and get tackled by air marshals for choking you.”
Shit. I should’ve known better than to bring this up while we were thirty thousand feet in the air, but when she asked me what was going on, I couldn’t keep my damn mouth shut. “Look, I’m exhausted. Someone kept me up all night, and I’m in no mood to talk about this right now. I’m going to try to get some sleep. We’ll discuss it later.”
She leans her head against the wall and closes her eyes, all the while leaving me to feel like an inconsiderate jerk. Glancing across the aisle, I spot Kaylie watching me with a disapproving glare. For the rest of the ride she’s asleep—or she acts like it.
Finally, once the captain gives us the go-ahead to deplane, she opens her eyes and turns to look at me. Her expression isn’t quite as angry as it was earlier, but I can tell she’s still upset.
“Fine, Xavier. You want platonic? To pretend you didn’t spend this weekend having the best sex of your life? You got it.” She gets up from her seat, and before I can say another word, she looks down at me, anger flashing in her eyes. “Just let me know when your mood decides to swing in the other direction.”
A hand slaps my shoulder, and I glance up to see Kale grinning down at me.
“Not even past the honeymoon stage and there’s already trouble in paradise? Man, Cruz. You’re definitely going to have your hands full.”
I groan, running a hand through my hair. “What the hell have I gotten myself into?” I ask.
Kale simply lets out a loud laugh. “Oh, brother, you’ve just signed up for the ride of your life. And I, for one, cannot wait to watch.”
He follows his sister off the plane, and after a few moments of reflection, I groan at my temporary idiocy. What the hell was I even thinking? I knew it wouldn’t go over well. I knew platonic wasn’t what I wanted. Yet my dumbass still said it. Like she said, I have mood swings worse than a hormonal woman. If Kale made a joke about Midol, I’d have half a mind to accept a couple of pills right now.
Sighing, I grab my carry-on and make my way towards the exit, knowing I just fucked up big time. As I stride off the plane and towards baggage claim, all I can think is that I hope my new wife is as forgiving as she is patient.
I SHOULD’VE known this was going to happen. That the bubble would burst. I guess I just expected to be off the plane before it did, so I wasn’t prepared for it. So, like a coward, I feigned exhaustion and pretended to sleep for the rest of the flight as thoughts plagued me. Now that I’m walking towards baggage claim, I know I need a quick reprieve to regroup.
It’s not until I’m washing my hands in the bathroom that I take a good look at my finger. Was it really only hours ago that he was inside me, whispering sweet Spanish phrases in the darkness of our room?
Yes, momentarily—okay, like the whole flight—I was angry, but it’s subsiding. I won’t give up this easily. I knew what I was getting into when Xavier said yes, and I refuse to let one minor setback get me down. Like I said before, two steps.
Step 1: Marry Xavier Cruz. Check.
Step 2: Make him want to stay that way.
Even though it seems like he’s going to put up a bit of a fight, that’s okay. He showed me glimpses of his feelings this weekend. Hell, he even admitted that he could fall in love with me. I just have to draw it out of him. For good. To show him that, yes, he can. And he should.
I get to baggage claim and find the others there. Xavier’s standing with our stuff. With a deep breath, I cross to him, giving him a warm smile. Relief floods his face, and even though I’m still irritated as hell, I don’t want everyone else witnessing this.
The ride to Mom’s is uneventful. For once, I’m grateful for his silence. He still takes my hand, his thumb rubbing mine affectionately, but I can’t get that damn word out of my mind.
Platonic.
As we pull up to the house, I wipe away any distress and smile as Mom, Anna, and Lily greet us, helping bring in the luggage. Lucy shoots straight for Jacob, cuddling him tighter than I’ve ever seen.
Anna looks like she’s gotten some sunshine, but she wears her exhaustion under her eyes. “Xavier, I need to speak with you,” she says softly.
He looks up from Lily’s embrace and frowns. Something passes between them, and then he rises to his feet, nodding as he follows her into the kitchen.
My gaze follows them, and I wonder what that could be about. Mom must sense my unease, because she comes up and slips an arm around my shoulder as she leans into give me a kiss on the cheek. I turn to face her.
“I missed you, sweet girl.”
“I missed you, too.”
“You did a good thing,” she says, taking my hand and gazing down at the ring on my finger. “The morning before you all left, Xavier pulled Anna and me aside to tell us all about your little plan. It’s an incredibly selfless thing you’re doing, honey. But the whole ‘turning your emotions off’? It’s not going to work.”
“I’m falling hard for him,” I admit. “I’m just not sure how he feels”
She smiles and brings a hand up to my cheek as she easily reads my emotions. “Kalli, don’t doubt for a second that that boy has feelings for you.”
I tilt my head and look up at her, hope resurging in my heart. It’s one thing for me to believe it; it’s entirely different for someone else to say the words out loud.
“You think?”
“I don’t think. I know. Let’s just call it a mother’s intuition,” she says, leaning her forehead against mine. “Would he have asked for my blessing if this didn’t mean anything to him? Asked what kind of ring he should get?”
Her words wash over me, and the vulnerability melts away as I smile at her. “Probably not. So you think . . . ?”
“He’s crazy about you, but he was hurt in the
past and has built a wall around his heart as he concentrated on raising Lily. I think it’s about time someone knocks that wall down. And I don’t know a stronger woman than you,” she tells me with a wink.
She’s exactly right. This whole time, I’ve been wondering why he won’t open up to me, but I realize I’m not the problem. He just needs to get past whatever damage Angela did when she left him. And like Mom said, who better than I to help him with that?
With renewed resolve, I’m determined not to let him push me away. But first, I need to make him remember that he wants me. When we were in Vegas, any time another man even looked in my direction, he practically growled and pulled me closer to him, ensuring that everyone knew I was his. I just wish he’d let me be. Completely.
Be careful, Kalli, a little voice whispers in my ear, doubt seeping in. I know I need to tread lightly. A little game playing never hurt anyone, and all Xavier needs is a push in the right direction. But if I go too far, I could cause this whole thing to come crashing down around me. This is the absolute last time I will give him space. Once we get home, all bets are off. My patience is dwindling, and now that my heart is on the line, I have to make up my mind once and for all.
And so does he.
That’s what scares me the most.
AS I follow Ma into the kitchen, out the sliding glass door, and onto the back deck, a sense of unease washes over me. As far as I know, she hasn’t had another doctor’s appointment, and every time we talked when I was gone, she said that she was feeling fine. Now, I wonder if that was all a lie just to keep me away.
She sits down at the patio table and gestures for me to join her, but I just stare at her and cross my arms, waiting for whatever it is she has to say.
“Xavier, sit. Please.”
The tone of her voice is nearly pleading, so I give in. Pulling out a chair, I lean my elbows on the table and look directly at her.