by Tessa Teevan
Her hand drifts down as she strokes my morning wood. “Oh, dear husband, I can definitely get used to this.”
Groaning, I take her hand away and entwine her fingers with mine, giving them a kiss. “As much as I want you right now, I want to talk before Lily gets home.”
She looks at me with piqued interest then nods. “Okay,” she says, squeezing my fingers. “The Andersons said they’d drop her off in the morning but didn’t give me a definitive time. Let’s talk.”
Blowing out a deep breath, I’m surrounded by the comfort that is my wife, again wondering how I could’ve been so blind. She’s been the source of my security for months, and I’m pissed I’m only now aware of just how important a piece of my life she is. I have no idea how I ever thought I could do any this without her. I’m only grateful that she was patient enough to wait for me to get my head out of my ass, because if I have my way—and I know I will—I’ll never be without her again.
“Do you remember when we got back from Vegas and Ma pulled me off to the side to talk?”
She nods then her eyes widen. “Oh no. Is it her health? Has she gotten worse?”
“No, baby, it wasn’t about that.”
Relief floods her face before she nervously draws in her bottom lip as she waits for me to continue.
“While we were gone, Ma received a letter. I’ll show it to you later if you want, but long story short, Lily’s grandmother—Angela’s mom—passed away. In her will, she left an inheritance to Lily and instructions for the lawyer to use funds from her estate to track down Lily and me—and also Ma just in case I couldn’t be reached.”
“Oh my God,” she whispers as her chin trembles, worry filling her eyes.
“I had a copy of the same letter here when we got home. I’m supposed to contact the lawyer to make arrangements for the money to be transferred into an account that Lily can access when she’s older.”
“Wow,” Kalli mumbles, peering up at me. “Have you . . . have you called them?”
I shake my head. “No. To be honest, I’m worried about starting the process. I know I need to do it. It’s Lily’s money, but what if it gets the ball rolling for Angela to come back into her life?”
Kalli sits up and crosses her legs, bringing our joined hands into her lap. “Xavier, I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought, if I avoided it at least for a little while, it’d go away.”
Her expression soften. “I wish it were that easy,” she says, and I know she’s right. “Hey, who knows? Maybe Angela has nothing to do with it. After all, if she wanted to come back, she’s had ten years to do it. Why would she bother now?”
“I have no idea. I’m just thinking worst-case scenario here.”
“Well, don’t think that way. And hey,” she says, bringing our joined hands to her lips to press a kiss on my knuckles. “Even if she does come back, we’ll handle it. Together. You’re not alone in this, Xavier. We’re a family, and family sticks together. Plus, Lily loves you more than all the planets and the stars in the sky. You have nothing to worry about.”
“How did I get so lucky?” I ask her, and she grins.
“Good question. Part of me feels like I gave in too easily after all your wishy-washy business.” She pauses, and my heart plummets even though I know she’s right. “But I’m okay with that, even if it makes me weak. The truth is, for you, I totally am. I’m a weakling, and we’ve wasted enough time. Holding a grudge or making you work for it would only make us both miserable. And that’s the last thing I want, because I’m so deliriously happy right now. With you. But I’m warning you. If you try to take back that I love you, I will make you feel the Montgomery-woman wrath,” she threatens, narrowing her eyes at me.
“Not gonna happen. Now that I’ve said it once, I won’t be able to ever stop. I promise. And I guess I should be grateful you can’t resist me,” I tell her, giving her a wink before taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Weak is the last thing you are, Kalli. You give me the strength I need in impossible situations. How I got on for so long without you, I’ll never know. But what I do know is I’m happy as hell.”
She leans forward and presses a kiss to my lips. “You’re strong, Xavier, and an incredible father. We just make each other stronger when we’re together.” She pulls back. “So, when you’re ready to make the call, I’ll be right there with you.”
Before I can respond, there’s a small knock on the door just as Lily opens it. Thankfully, we had the brain capacity to get dressed last night, so when she looks at us, Kalli holds her arms open wide. “Morning, Lilypad. Hop in,” she says—much to Lily’s delight.
She gives Kalli a quick hug. “Are you not mad at Mom anymore?” she asks, way too astute for her age.
I look over at Kalli, who has tears glistening in her eyes. I wouldn’t be shocked if I did, too, because even though it’s only been a few days, every time Lily calls Kalli Mom, the more I believe it’s true. She is her mom in nearly every sense of the word, and as happy as I am that Kalli loves me, I’m just as grateful that she loves my daughter as if she were her own.
“Honey, your dad wasn’t mad at me,” Kalli says softly, giving her a reassuring smile. “He’s just had a long week at work. That’s all.”
Lily looks at me curiously. “Is that true? ‘Cause you’ve been awfully grumpy this week.”
I hold up my hands in surrender. “No more grumpy Dad. I promise to be nice from here on out. I wasn’t mad, and I’m sorry if you thought I was. I love you, and I love your mom,” I tell her, holding my breath as I wait for her reaction.
I love your mom.
All thoughts of Angela and the lawyer and Lily’s inheritance float out of my mind as a tear runs down Kalli’s cheek.
A satisfied smile spreads on Lily’s lips as she looks up at me. “I love her, too. And I love you, too, Dad.”
As I curl up with my girls, I’m aware that everything is finally coming together. For the first time in forever, I can honestly say that I’m happy. I’m content, and for the foreseeable future, I’m going to focus on my wife and my daughter as we finally truly become a family. The family we’ve always been meant to be.
All the other shit?
I’ll worry about it when the time comes. Because at this moment, I’ll do anything to protect my family. No matter what.
Four Months Later
INSTEAD OF Xavier being curled up around me, he’s on the edge of the bed. Not wanting to wake him after a restless night, I gently slide out of bed and slip on my sweats. Poking my head into Lily’s room, I see that she’s just waking.
“Hey, Lilypad, Dad had a long night. Why don’t we let him sleep a little while longer?” I suggest.
She nods, plopping her head back down on her own pillow, presumably to take advantage of the extra sleep, too. Smiling, I pad down the hall to prepare coffee and think about that night Xavier finally told me how he felt.
As the new year began, so did my new life. Although, it strangely didn’t feel new. Not much changed from how things had been the previous six months or so. It’s just that, now, I was a wife and a mom, and I couldn’t be happier. All of those times I’d said that I didn’t need the institution or a piece of paper? Yeah, I had been fooling myself. As soon as Xavier told me that he loved me, I knew that this was it. He was it. I will always be his, and I didn’t want to wait another second for the whole world to know it.
First thing Monday morning, we were at the Social Security office, changing my name. He took me on post and added me as a dependent to all of his military stuff, and last but not least, I was made the appointed guardian of Lily on his Family Care Plan.
After that, we went home, celebrated, and settled into a life of domestic bliss. I was worried that, after the initial honeymoon glow wore off, there would be a tense adjustment period. After all, I haven’t lived with a man since Kale moved out so many years ago, and Xavier, other than th
e brief time with Angela, hasn’t ever lived with a woman he didn’t call Ma. Not to mention, Lily now has two parents instead of one, but so far so good. The transition has been surprisingly smooth.
As winter turned to spring, we peacefully and happily settled into our new lives. Sure, Xavier and I have our moments, as do Lily and I, but at the end of the day, I love my family and wouldn’t change it for the world. We’re in our own little blissful bubble, but the closer it gets to Anna’s surgery, the more anxious Xavier becomes.
They talk on a weekly basis, and as she guessed, the chemo has made her pretty sick. It was all worth it, however, because it shrank her tumor to an operable size,
He hasn’t voiced it, but I know he’s still worried about Angela as well. He freezes every time he goes through the mail, as if he’s expecting the worst. So far, we haven’t heard another word, not even after he contacted the lawyer and worked with him to set up a trust for Lily. Still, as happy as we are, I know he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. When—if—it does, I’ll be right there with him to get through it.
After pouring my coffee into a thermos, I grab my laptop and slip out onto the back deck so I can enjoy the cool spring air while I plan Lily’s birthday party for the following weekend. Usually, I’d still be in bed, waiting for our Saturday ritual of her climbing into the bed so we can snuggle, but I’m restless, and last night, my husband was, too. In two weeks we’ll be leaving for Alabama for Anna’s surgery, and I know it’s bothering Xavier. He tossed and turned all night, and I didn’t have the heart to wake him this morning.
I’m lost on Pinterest looking at creative ways to celebrate an eleven-year-old girl’s birthday when I hear a groan behind me. Turning, I see my husband wearing nothing but a pair of fleece pants slung low on his hips. If I were a lesser woman, I’d shoo him inside so no one else could get a look at his impeccably chiseled chest, but who am I to deny a view at the work of art that is Xavier Cruz? My eyes travel up his body to where his biceps are bulging. No matter how long I stay married to this man, my desire for him will never be quenched. I will always want him.
“Oh, God. This baby is tight,” he says, his voice straining as he tries to open my brand-new, super-vacuum-sealed thermos.
“That’s what he said,” I deadpan, unable to help myself.
Xavier stops and sets the thermos down, his eyebrows raised, an amused expression on his face. “Is that so?”
“What? It’s the truth, isn’t it?” I ask, getting nothing in return. “I mean, I may have heard it a time or two.”
A low growl emits from his throat as he scoops me up in his arms and takes my spot on the chair, setting me in his lap.
I wriggle as his morning wood pokes my ass. “See. He agrees.”
His hand slides up my back until his fingers are tangled in my hair. His mouth covers mine, his kiss heated and wanting. Reluctantly, I pull back, breathless and panting, not wanting to give our neighbors a show.
“Not only are you tight, but I bet you’re wet, too,” he guesses, his other hand coming around to my stomach as his fingers toy with the hem of my sweatpants but don’t quite dip low enough to find out if he’s right.
He doesn’t need to. We both know he is.
He presses a kiss to my forehead then sits back. “You know I hate waking up without you,” he whispers, gazing into my eyes.
“I know. You just looked exhausted, and I thought I’d let you sleep. Are you doing okay?”
His chest heaves as he releases a sigh, tightening an arm around my waist. “I wish I could say I was perfect. I’ve never been better, and that’s the honest truth. Every day, I wake up knowing how lucky I am that you’re here. How blessed I am you were patient enough to wait for me. You’re the last thing I want to see before I close my eyes, and the first thing I want to set them on when they open. It’s why I never want to wake up without you. I did so for far too long.” He pauses, his frown deepening. “And then I feel guilty for being so happy when Ma’s sick. I have no idea how I’d get through this without you.”
“You won’t ever have to find out. But, Xavier, your mom wouldn’t want you to feel that way. She’s happy that you’re happy.” Leaning in, I press my lips to his.
He stands, and I wrap my legs around him as he walks across the deck and through the back door, setting me down on the kitchen counter, our mouths still fused together. Just as I’m about to deepen it, a cough stops me in my tracks. I drop my legs, but Xavier still stands between them, giving me a sheepish grin. Sometimes, we forget there are prying eyes in the house. Oops.
“Can you guys not do that for five seconds? I’m trying to eat here. Kissing’s gross.”
Xavier turns to face her, and I lean forward, pressing my chest against his back as I wrap my arms around him. We both look at our daughter, who’s so obviously trying to hide her grin.
“You won’t be saying that when you’re older,” I tell her.
Xavier chokes out a cough, causing me to laugh and quickly change the subject before she inquires further.
“All right, Lilypad. I’m a loss. I have no idea what to get you for your birthday. We’re going to Nashville today to do some last-minute shopping, so help a mom out and give me some ideas.”
She taps her chin and tilts her head as she thinks about it. “Wellllll,” she begins, making me nervous as she stretches out the word. “I do love Jacob and all, but it would be nice to have a brother or sister of my own,” she states matter-of-factly, as if she’s just asked for a Barbie or clothes. Something other than a baby.
Xavier’s body turns rigid, and I wish I could see the expression on his face. Somehow, this whole time, we’ve forgotten to talk about children, and even though the idea of having his child has my heart racing, I’m leaving the ball in his court on this one. But holy hell, do we need to have a talk.
“Umm,” he chokes out, turning his face just enough so that I can see the panic in his expression. His eyes plead with me to say something, anything, but I just shrug and revert my eyes back to Lily, who’s watching us curiously.
“I mean, you know, no pressure or anything, but I’m not getting any younger. Neither are you. ”
The doorbell rings, and she runs out of the room to answer it. I rest my chin on his shoulder as we both stare after her.
“Did she just . . . ?” he trails off.
“She did.”
“Jesus Christ,” he huffs, and I have no idea what he’s thinking.
Before I can ask, my brother walks into the room, a goofy grin on his face.
“It’s a good thing we’re taking Lily for the day,” he says, looking back and forth between the two of us. “I hear you guys have a lot of work to do.”
“Oh my God,” Xavier groans. “Get out of my house.”
Kale wriggles his eyebrows up. “With pleasure. Oh wait. That’s your job.”
“Out,” Xavier growls.
Kale just laughs as he walks out of the kitchen. Xavier still doesn’t move, so I give him a little nudge.
“Snap out of it, babe. You can freeze up later, but for now, we should probably go say bye to Lily.” I take his hand.
He allows me to lead him to the living room, where Lily’s whispering to Lucy. She grins when she sees us then elbows Kale.
“How about we keep Lily for the night?” he asks. “You two haven’t had a night alone in a while. Plus, it’ll give Lily some practice—oof!”
I hit him in the head with a pillow to cut him off, not wanting him to get Lily’s hopes up or encourage her even further without knowing where Xavier’s head is.
“Can I, Dad?” she asks.
Then she lets out a whoop when he nods. We watch as she runs out of the room to pack a bag.
“Please don’t encourage her,” Xavier says, finally breaking his silence. He glances at me and then at my brother, who’s raising an eyebrow, but he holds up his hands.
“I won’t say another word. I promise. I’m just trying to prepare you for when you go to Alabama
. You think Lily’s not going to tell everyone her birthday wish? As soon as Mom and Anna get a hold of that, you’ll have three people begging for a Montgomery-Cruz baby. I mean, it is kind of your destiny and all. Your duty, even, to finally biologically link our clans together once and for all.”
Lucy rolls her eyes. “Okay, Kale, now you’re laying it on a little too thick.” She looks back at us. “Don’t worry. There will be no baby talk at our house tonight. You two just have a fun night off and make sure to enjoy yourselves.”
I mouth my gratitude just as Lily comes running out, quickly giving us her goodbyes. “Have fun in Nashville,” she calls as she bounds out the door, following Lucy. “Bye, Mom! Bye Dad!”
My heart still warms every time she calls me that, and right now, I’d give her anything she wants. I’m not sure her father, however, would agree.
Kale’s smile widens. “Yeah, Mom and Dad. Have fun ‘shopping’,” he says, using air quotes.
Xavier pushes him out the door and shuts it behind him. He turns and leans against it, looking at me curiously.
I let out a deep breath and bring my eyes to meet his, still unable to read his expression. “Well, are you ready?” I ask.
His Adam’s apple bobs up and down. “Ready?” he asks, staring at me.
A huge grin spreads across my face. “Yeah. For Nashville. I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely ready to get my shopping on,” I tell him, giving him a reprieve so he can collect his thoughts without a roomful of people teasing him about babies and procreating.
“Shopping,” he repeats.
“Yep. Shopping.” I tap my finger on my chin as he watches me. “Although, I guess if you’re not up for it, I could do it all on my own.” I feign a look of innocence as desire flashes in his eyes, all thoughts of baby-making thrown out the window.
Well, not exactly, seeing as how we’re pretty damn good at the whole practicing part.
He stalks after me, and I race towards the bathroom, squealing just as he hooks an arm around my waist and lifts me up over his shoulder. After he plops me on the bed, his body covers mine and he gives me my daily dose of Xavier Cruz.