by Tessa Teevan
“Say it again,” he orders, grasping my chin until I’m staring into his heated eyes.
“I’m yours, Xavier,” I breathe. “Always have been, always will be.”
His eyes bore deep into mine, not softening even the slightest. “Always, Kalliope. Never forget that. I’ll remind you as many times as I need to.”
And he continues to do just that as he releases my chin and braces his arm beside my head. The way he takes me against the wall is primal, urgent, with a relentless sense of need. It’s unlike he’s ever been with me before, and the implication of what he’s doing isn’t lost on me. Almost as if he’s fucking me to teach me a lesson. And it’s a lesson I’ll gladly sign up to learn over and over again. It’s not like he’s declaring love or any romantic sentiments, but knowing he wants me? And will only ever want me? That’s practically the same thing.
“So fucking beautiful,” he grumbles as he watches the euphoria wash over my face. “So fucking mine.” He slams up into me until the base of his cock rests against my entrance almost as if he’s emphasizing his point.
A bold sense of ownership spreads throughout me. I grind my hips down against him as I grip his chin with my hand. “What about you?”
He pauses his movements as he reads my expression. “Soy completamente tuya y solo tuya. Siempre.” The words flow from his lips like molten chocolate. Hot, delicious, steamy, and completely satisfying. I don’t even care that I have no idea what he’s saying. “I am completely yours, and yours alone. Always.”
“Always,” I echo, circling my hips as I try to draw him in deeper.
He doesn’t disappoint as he resumes his unyielding claiming of my body. The back of my head knocks against the wall as he drills into me, takes me, and gives himself over at the same time. His hand comes around my back to unclasp my bra, releasing my breasts so he can place his mark there, too. A low groan emits from his throat as they bounce in a rhythmic cadence on par with his thrusting. He leans in to take a hard nipple into his mouth, his tongue stroking my sensitive flesh. A heady mixture of pain and pleasure soars through my body as he bites down, causing me to moan his name.
“Harder, Xavier,” I beg. “Make me yours.”
He pulls back, my nipple popping out of his mouth and pebbling as the cold air hits it. He nudges my head to the side as he runs his tongue my neck, not stopping until his lips are against my ear.
“I’ll never stop,” he groans, gently biting down on my earlobe.
“Never,” I echo as tingling waves of blissful satisfaction cause my vision to blur courtesy of my impending orgasm. “Make me come.”
His head lifts from the spot in the crook of my neck before he crashes his mouth down on mine and shoves his tongue into my mouth, silencing my words. A strong hand grips my hip, and I tighten my legs around him, drawing him deeper inside me as I urge him to go faster. He rocks and rolls his hips in a perfect ebb and flow, creating a glorious friction on my clit. My orgasm winds up inside me until I can no longer hold it in, and it explodes and pulses throughout my entire body. Xavier’s pace increases as waves of pleasure have my walls clenching around him with the full force of my release, which triggers his own.
Just as his body tenses, he sucks my bottom lip between his teeth and bites down, prompting another moan from me. As I close my eyes, the intoxicating pain combines with the pleasure and I enjoy the last few remnants of my orgasm. His groan follows as he releases my lip. When his cock swells deep inside me, he pushes me back against the wall, harder than before, slamming up into me, thrust after thrust, until there’s nothing left to give.
His head falls until his forehead presses against mine, our panting breaths mingling as we stare into each other’s eyes. Even though he hasn’t exactly said those three little magical words, he’s just shown me how he feels, and for me, that’s enough. To an outsider, it might just look like screwing against a wall, but it was so much more.
My heart is filled to the brim as emotions swirl in the air around us. He covers his mouth with mine, giving me a soft, slow, languid kiss that is the exact opposite of our frenzied fucking, and I sigh with pure satisfaction. He pulls back, and I look at him with half-lidded eyes as I circle my arms around his neck. His own are stormy dark, an unreadable expression in them. He looks sated. He looks smug. And he looks heated.
Swallowing hard, I wonder if I pushed too far with the open marriage suggestion. As much as I want to bask in the glow of what he just proved to me, I know I should remedy this.
“Xavier,” I begin.
“Be quiet.” It’s a low and gruff command, which I obey immediately.
Placing both of his strong arms under my ass, he turns, still inside me, and walks to the bed, plopping me down onto my back. I frown at the loss of contact until he bends over and braces himself on either side of my face, not stopping until he’s mere inches away.
“If you ever even think about suggesting an open marriage again, I will spank the idea out of you.”
Since I don’t mind a little corporal punishment action in the bedroom, my mouth opens to tell him that I’ll gladly commit the crime if that’s the sentence, but the look in his eyes has me keeping my big mouth shut for once. I simply nod my submission, and his jaw ticks. He pushes up from the bed and leaves the room, presumably to clean up, but he doesn’t come back.
After waiting him out for a few minutes, I give in and decide to go looking for him. I find him sitting in the dining room, still gloriously naked. My hand comes to my mouth as my eyes move to the table, which looks as if it’s set for a romantic dinner, complete with candlelight and two glasses of wine poured, one of which Xavier is already drinking. The food—of course—is missing, and my heart drops when I realize that this is what he meant when he said that he wanted dinner together.
“What’s all this?” I ask.
He doesn’t turn to look at me. Heart sinking, I cross the room and sit down directly in front of him, giving him a perfectly good view of my naked breasts. He remains silent as he stares at them, and I’m almost ready to apologize profusely until he finally looks up at me with a smirk on his face.
I knit my brows as he starts to chuckle, and it dawns on me that he played me.
“Wait a minute . . . You’re not mad?”
He scoots in the chair and places his hands on my bare legs as he looks up at me. “The longer you stayed out, the more pissed I became. And then when you mentioned the open marriage, I saw red. I won’t lie. I was livid. But I know you, Kalliope, and I know what you were doing.”
I smile because, well, of course he does. “And even though you caught me, you’re still not mad?”
His expression softens as he takes one of my hands. “I’m not mad.” He pauses as he runs a hand through his hair before he puts it back on my knee. “I know I’ve been a shit this week. Something’s come up and I’ve been stressed. It was unfair to take it out on you. So I thought I’d treat you to a romantic candlelit dinner, some wine, and then take you to bed and show you how not platonic I want us to be. After all, it is our one-week anniversary,” he reminds me, running his thumb over my ring.
My heart fills and sinks at the same time, and I could kick myself for having messed up his sweet gesture. “Xavier, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Stop. You have nothing to be sorry about. I’m the one who’s sorry. I gave you no reason to stay home with me. Lily wasn’t here, and she’s why you’re here, so it makes sense that you’d get out.”
“She’s not the only reason I’m here,” I admit softly, and his eyes search mine. I want to know what exactly it is he’s looking for.
“I know, Kalliope,” he whispers. “As much as I love my daughter, I want to be selfish here. I want to hear you say it. That I’m the reason you’re here.”
My eyes well with tears as I wonder what he’s implying. “You’ve always been the reason. You just haven’t been ready to hear it.”
He lets out a small laugh. “I know all about that fear. It’s why I�
�ve been pushing and pulling. It’s just been so long since I’ve done this, and I’ve been so scared of messing things up that I’ve ignored my feelings.”
“I know it’s scary. Trust me. After so long, I’m even terrified of what’s going to happen. But I’m more scared of never knowing how good we could be. I refuse to sit around for the rest of my life, wondering what if. Look, I understand your reservations, and I even admire them. We tried to say no complications, but the thing is, we were complicated before we began.”
He sighs heavily and gives a small shake of his head. “It’s just . . . I need you now more than ever, but it feels like all I do is take from you, giving nothing in return.”
“Oh, Xavier,” I breathe out, squeezing his hand before he drops it back to my knee. “You don’t have to promise me forever. Just give me right now. Give me you. Be mine completely, for however long we have. That’s all I want.”
“That would be enough for you?” he asks, his voice low.
I close my eyes as I fight back the tears to try to muster up the courage to agree that it would be enough. In the end, I can’t fight my heart, though, and I won’t lie to him. As I open them, I see him watching me intently.
“No. In a million years, it’d never be enough.”
His head briefly falls to my legs before he looks up at me, a smile on his face. “Oh, thank God.”
Confusion washes over me. “What . . . what do you mean?’
He tilts his head as his hands run up and down my bare legs. His dark eyes bore into mine, searching, hoping, and finding exactly what he’s looking for. “I don’t want that to be enough for you, because it’s not enough for me. I don’t have to give myself to you. You already own me. All of me. I want forever, Kalli. I want it with you.”
As if I’ve been struck dumb, all I can muster is a feeble, “What?”
“The moment I met you, I knew you were a game changer. And then I found out I had the hots for a sixteen-year-old and it scared the shit out of me. So I tried avoiding you and how I felt. Eventually, it stuck, and I spent far too long keeping you at arm’s length even when I knew I wanted you right next to me. You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You’re selfless, determined, strong as hell, and you have the patience of all the saints combined in your pinkie alone. I don’t deserve you, but I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of fighting it. This may have started with Lily, but it ends with you and me. Estoy desesperadamente enamorado de ti.”
The way the words roll off his tongue makes them sound reverent, almost as if they are the most beautiful ones he’s ever spoken. Perhaps they are. He pauses to take a deep breath.
“Kalliope Sage Montgomery, I love you. I am desperately in love with you. I’m so in love with you that the idea of anything platonic or open about our marriage made me see red. Take my name. Be my wife. In name, spirit, and in all sense of the word. In turn, I’ll be your husband. I promise, Kalli, to love you, honor you, and cherish you for the rest of our lives.”
My heart threatens to pound out of my chest as his eyes search mine for some hidden truth, one that’s never actually been hidden before. I guess that, when you’ve been avoiding something for so long, you really can’t see that it’s been staring you back in the face all this time. But none of that matters now. Because in the last sixty seconds, my life has drastically changed, and if I have to wait any longer to tell him how I feel, I’ll combust.
“I love you, Xavier. I feel like I’ve loved you all my life, and that’s all I want. To love you for the rest of it, too,” I admit. The words that have been buried so deep inside finally coming free causes a lightness in my heart.
He grabs my hand and holds it up in between us. “God, I love you so much. And I want that to be enough, but I have to get this part out.” He pauses, and panic rises in me. “I know a marriage, a family, wasn’t ever something you planned on. As much as I love you, I need to know, to be sure, that you’re in this completely. I don’t want you to ever feel obligated to stay. As selfish as I want to be, I only want you here if that’s what you want.”
Part of me wants to laugh and the other part wants to smack him upside the head. “The last thing you and Lily are is an obligation. You keep calling me selfless, but the truth is, I need you two more than you can imagine, and I want you even more. Both of you. Forever and for always. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have a purpose, and I can’t bear the thought of ever losing you. I’m your wife. To have and to hold, from last weekend forward. And now that I know you love me, too, you’re never getting rid of me. First thing Monday morning, we’re changing my last name. I don’t want to wait any longer to be a Cruz.”
He laughs softly before his expression turns serious again as he looks down at my ring. I know how much it means to him for his wife to have his last name, and I wish I’d already gotten the ball rolling.
“I wish I’d been smart enough to realize this last week. It could have been a whole different type of wedding. Do you feel cheated?”
I roll my eyes and place my finger under his chin so he looks up at me. “Absolutely not. It was perfect, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Plus, it’s me. I doubt it’d be shocking to anyone that the ’I love yous’ came after the wedding,” I say with a grin, hoping it reassures him.
“True, but regardless of the order, I’m forever grateful that both things happened. Te quiero, Kalliope,” he whispers, gazing up at me. “God, that feels so good to say. It’s taken forever to get us here, yet it’s so damn new that I just want to say it over and over again. I love you,” he repeats. “I’ll always only love you.”
As I look down into his eyes, I’m taken aback at the devotion I see reflecting back at me, and I know I meant what I said. The way we came together may have been unconventional, but that doesn’t make it any less real.
“I love you, too,” I respond before letting out a squeal and throwing my arms around his neck.
His chest rumbles with laughter, and I pull back, giving him a sheepish grin.
“Sorry. I’ve been holding that in for a really long time.”
“Yep, my crazy girl,” he laughs.
I glance around the table and wonder if I can salvage his plans for the evening. “Now, I’m going to guess that you missed dinner. Are you hungry?” I ask.
Before I know it I’m flat on my back as Xavier’s hooks my legs and pulls me closer to him. Then he rests them over his shoulders. He gives me a smoldering smile before his head dips between my thighs.
“Starving.”
YOU KNOW that commercial where people are reliving that “aha!” moment in their lives when everything changed? The sweet epiphany that has the sun looking brighter, the sky bluer, and all your senses heightened?
I’ve been lucky enough to experience two of those moments in my lifetime. The first was when Lily was placed in my arms when she was only minutes old. Staring down into the face of this beautiful, scary, hopeful tiny little being who was counting on me changed my life forever, and it’s been evolving ever since.
The second? The second aha moment of my life was when I finally told the woman of my dreams just how much I love her. It wasn’t enough that I’d admitted it to Kale already. She needed to hear them, and I needed to say them. As soon as the words escaped my lips, it was as if years of pent-up frustration, want, and need melted away, leaving me to wonder why in the hell I’d fought it for as long as I had.
This thing between us has been a marathon, and I’ve alternated between being the tortoise and the damn hare. In the end, it doesn’t matter who crossed the finish line first, because we both won. And I’ve never felt happier.
After a night of re-consummating our marriage—Kalli’s choice of words—we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Now, in the early morning light, while I listen to my wife’s soft breathing as she continues to sleep, I can’t help but think of how lucky I am. I’m transported back to a week ago and the question I woke with the morning after our wedding.
What
the fuck was I thinking?
My lips curve in a smile at the memory. Even if I hadn’t been ready to admit it, my subconscious knew exactly what it was doing. It might have taken time, Kale’s goading, and a bit of maddening prodding from Kalli, but the disconnect between my brain and heart is officially repaired. I’m man enough to admit that I was an idiot. I’m just grateful that I wasn’t too late.
“What’s that smile for?” Her soft, sleepy voice interrupts my thoughts. “Thinking of me?”
“Always.” I grin down at her then glance over at the clock and realize there’s a conversation we need to have. One we should’ve had as soon as we got home. “Hey,” I mumble as my fingers absentmindedly play with her hair. “Before Lily gets home, we need to talk about something.”
She shoots up, suddenly alert, glaring at me. A finger points in my face. “Don’t you dare, Xavier Cruz. Don’t you dare take back a single word you said last night, or I swear to God and Jupiter and every other freaking deity in the galaxy that I will rip your balls off with my bare hands.”
Inadvertently, my hands cup my balls, and she lets out a scream at the sight, pushing me until I’m on my back with her straddling me, fury igniting in her eyes, her tiny little fists curled into balls.
I grasp them before she can use them against me. “Hey, stop!” I tell her, and she narrows her eyes. My crazy fucking girl. “I love you.”
“What?” she asks, peering down at me.
“I love you, Kalli. I meant every word I said last night. I’ll spend the rest of my life saying it as many times as you need to hear until you believe me. Until you, don’t threaten my manhood every time I say we need to talk.”
Her eyes soften as she releases her fists. “Oh. Oh, shit. I’m an idiot,” she mumbles, getting off me and curling up at my side, her chin resting on my chest as she looks up at me, biting her lip. “I’m sorry. I just thought—”
I press a finger to her lips. “Shh. I know what you thought, and I don’t blame you. With how hot and cold I’ve been since you moved here, it’s no wonder you immediately thought the worst. But I promise you that’s over with, baby. I love you. You’re my wife. Get used to it.”