Exposed Affections

by Rene Folsom

“You’re already throwing up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You might want to think about the possibility that this happened before your encounter with that lunatic. What if it’s Aiden’s or Coda’s?” Sid asked, continuing to dwell on the very thoughts that have been stressing my mind.

  “That’ll be even more difficult to handle,” I said honestly.

  “How so?”

  “Because, if it’s Rob’s, at least they can walk away from this whole mess with a clear conscience. If it’s not, then they’ll probably feel like they’re stuck with me—like they owe me.” The harsh reality of it all had newfound tears dripping from my eyeballs. Using the sleeves of Coda’s sweatshirt I was wearing, I wiped at my face vigorously, in any attempt to remove the evidence of sorrow.

  “I doubt that, Julia. You’re not giving them enough credit. But, if the hospital will be able to tell you a bit more about the timeframes involved, then I agree that waiting to tell them is a smart move.”

  Leaning my head back, I looked up to the sky filled with pinks and oranges and sighed, hoping the tears would leak their way back into my eyelids. The unwelcomed drips of water slid down to my ears instead. “Sid, what the hell am I going to do?” My voice sounded shaky and weak. I was surprised she could even hear me through my muffled emotions.

  “You’ll do just fine. You’re strong and you always have me here to support you—no matter what decision you make,” she said in an attempt to make me feel better.

  “I don’t know how strong I can be with this. Strength is the last thing I feel right now. I feel so out of control—so vulnerable.”

  “Well, you do have a decision, and it’s your decision only. You don’t have to keep—”

  “Stop right there,” I interrupted with a stern voice. Just the thought made me wince with repulsion. “I would never even consider an abortion. So don’t go there.”

  “I know you wouldn’t, Julia. You act like I barely know you!” she yelled. “I definitely know you well enough to know you would never, not even in a million years, think about aborting a baby. Just because I’m pro-choice doesn’t mean I don’t know your stand on things. I meant adoption.”

  “Oh.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry, Sid. You do see how fucked up I am over all this, right?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “And I didn’t mean to doubt you or anything. There’s just something I’ve never told you and anyone even hinting to the idea of abortion automatically makes me put up my defenses,” I admitted.

  “What about?” she asked, concern laced in her tone.

  Hesitation and fear overtook my vocal chords as I tried to muster the strength to tell her. Why was it that I could tell the detective without batting an eye, but I couldn’t tell my best friend? Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I faced my fear.

  “When you took me to the hospital, after Rob tore me up… well, he did that because he found out I was pregnant. He thought it was my fault and felt he shouldn’t have to pay for an abortion.”

  Silence.

  And more silence.

  At first, the silence was expected. I mean, what would one say after hearing a horror like that? Then, I began to wonder if our call was dropped.

  “Sid?”

  “Yeah,” she whimpered, and then sniffled a little. “Yeah, I’m here. I just can’t believe my best friend had to go through such a thing. That son-of-a-bitch is lucky he’s locked up.”

  “Damn, Sid. I’m worried—” Before I could spew more vile words out of my mouth, the sliding glass door behind me slid open. Aiden inched his way over to me cautiously, as if I was a baby deer ready to spook.

  “I gotta go, Sid. I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay?”

  “You don’t have to get off the phone just because of me, Angel,” Aiden whispered.

  “No, it’s okay. We were done talking anyway,” I replied, lying through my teeth. I quickly said my goodbyes to my friend and turned to look at the handsome man standing before me in the colorful evening light. Muted purples and yellows made his white shirt glow. A brisk wind blew against his body, making the shirt hug his muscles and causing me to shiver slightly.

  Ambling over to me, he reached for my face and wiped the remnants of tears with his thumbs.

  “Why have you been crying?”

  For a fraction of a second, I thought about telling him the truth. That moment of insanity didn’t last long though, and I opened my mouth to answer. “I just miss her.”

  Aiden’s hands shook while holding my jaw, a look of anger and confusion passing across his face. Closing his eyes and shaking his head, he seemed to get passed whatever was bothering him and gazed into my eyes. Just as he inched in for a kiss, causing my heart to pound against my chest, a crashing noise came from inside the cabin. The sound of glass shattering was so loud, it triggered both our heads to jerk toward the doors with a startling jolt.

  “What was that?” I gasped.

  “I don’t know. I felt his anger though.” Without saying any more, Aiden made his way inside, tugging on my hand and dragging me with him. We walked in just in time to see Coda punch a hole in the wall while standing in a pool of broken glass. The metal shelving unit that once held the glass dishes was toppled over, causing every dish to be shattered on the hardwood floor.

  “What the hell is going on?” Aiden yelled. His voice carried over the great room and grabbed Coda’s fitful stare.

  Coda’s shoulders rose and fell as he panted like an angry beast. He looked at Aiden as if he were trying to telepathically speak to him in his fit of rage.

  Never looking in my direction, a growl emanated from Coda before he finally spoke. “They let the bastard out on bail.”

  Those seven words made my stomach drop. This war was far from over.

  Chapter 37

  “Everything and everyone was disintegrating around me—rotting away with decay—and my life was the poison spreading through their veins.”

  My hand flew to my mouth as my food threatened to come up with a vengeance. It took stealth I never thought I had to leap past the mound of broken glass and run to the bathroom.

  After emptying my stomach, I stood in front of the sink and attempted to compose myself. Rinsing my mouth and splashing my face, I stared at my tattered reflection. My face looked hollow, void of any emotion. How was I supposed to feel? Just the thought that Rob was no longer behind bars had my stomach churning again.

  The realization I wasn’t done made me rush to the toilet once more. After several minutes of torturous heaving, I couldn’t even muster the energy to get up. Leaning my back against the tub, I sat on the bathroom floor with my arm propped on the toilet and bouts of embarrassment coursing through me. Here I was, with their family as witnesses, coming apart at the seams.

  A light knock on the door had me lifting my head, my listless stare watching the knob turn slowly. Bri cracked the door marginally and poked her head in. As soon as her eyes landed on me, she crept the rest of the way into the small bathroom and closed the door behind her.

  Another surge of queasiness had me kneeling at attention again. As I continued to vomit, Bri grabbed a hairband and proceeded to tie up my messy curls. When I finally wiped at my mouth and plopped my ass back down on the floor, I felt marginally better—other than the fact a girl I barely knew just watched me puke.

  Keeling down beside me, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and said, “You need to tell them.”

  With dry, cracked lips, I tried to talk, but all that came out was a stutter. Finally, I managed the dense question that had been trying to come out of my mouth. “Tell them what?”

  “Julia, I know you don’t want to admit it, but the signs are obvious to me. However, my brothers are stupid men, and they have no clue what is going on with you. They’re actually talking about taking you to the hospital because they think you’re really sick.”

  “Christ,” I sighed as I laid my forehead down on my arm—the same arm that
was still draped over the toilet seat. “I can’t tell them something I don’t even know myself. I haven’t heard back from the hospital about the blood tests and I’m just completely lost. Not to mention you and Ann must think I’m a total basket case.”

  “Fuck what anyone thinks,” she scolded, bringing my attention back to her small, pretty face. “My brothers adore you and that’s all that matters to me. They’ll support you in this, Julia. Just give them a chance to be your rocks.”

  “It’s not that simple,” I whimpered, shaking my head and avoiding her strong stare.

  Before she could ask, the door creaked open and Coda stuck his head in to check on us.

  “What? Is this a damn communal locker room or something?” Bri sassed. “She’s fine. Leave us alone so we can have some private time,” she added with a wave of her hand.

  Without saying a single word, Coda left with a soft click of the door latch echoing in his wake.

  “Now, news like this is not something I’ve ever had to tell a guy. So, I can’t question why you’re so hesitant to talk to them about it. But, I know my brothers really well, and I am confident they’ll help you through this.”

  There was no way in hell I was telling this girl my sordid past, no matter how much I liked her. She seemed like the type of person I could talk to about anything, and she’d be there to help me through it. She really did remind me a lot of Sid. But, the realization that I’d only known her for a day still stuck out in my mind.

  “Unless…” she whispered, emphasizing the S-sound as if she wanted to drag it out longer than necessary.

  After a few awkward moments of silence, I asked, “What?”

  “Unless you’re worried it’s not theirs.”

  “Fuck, Bri! Do you have to keep pushing?” I said, defensiveness leaking from my tone like battery acid.

  “I’m not trying to push, but I always speak my mind. And that outburst right there tells me I’m right on the money,” she said, while settling back into a sitting position and crossing her legs in front of her.

  “Now you probably think I’m a total hussy,” I deflected. “The truth is, I’m not seeing anyone else but Aiden and Coda. I haven’t dated in the past two years and I really, really want it to be left at that.”

  Bri looked down at her hands, tugging and playing with the fluffy bathroom rug. It didn’t take long for realization to cross her face.

  “No way!” she gasped. “Seriously?”

  “Seriously what?”

  “Do they know?” she asked, hooking her thumb toward the closed door.

  “Do they know what?” I said, confusion setting in with her random questions.

  As if explaining her thought process, she held her hand out and plucked at each of her fingertips as she said, “You think you’re pregnant and worried it might not be a product of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass, yet you haven’t dated anyone else in two years, and you were just recently assaulted by your ex. Does that about sum it up?”

  “Damn, you’re blunt,” I said with a chuckle to try and avoid her accusation.

  “No, if I were being blunt, I would have said the nasty four-letter R-word by now,” she deadpanned.

  “Don’t worry. Aiden and Coda both know I was raped. What they don’t know is that I’m waiting to hear back about my test results. I wasn’t concerned about the results until I started feeling sick to my stomach and tired as all get out. I have no clue what the timeframe is for such things, and I’m beyond freaked. The last thing I want to do is scare them over nothing,” I explained, mortified I was telling their sister all of this personal info just so she’d get off my back. If I had to be honest with myself, I felt a bit lighter after revealing the secrets that plagued my mind.

  “I doubt this is nothing, Julia, but I do understand your hesitation. How will the hospital be able to tell though? I think it’s way too early to do a paternity test, isn’t it?” she asked, her tone just as perplexed as I felt.

  “Yeah, way too early for all that. I’m just hoping they can tell me the timeframe at which these things will show up. All the horrible shit went down on Wednesday and the blood was drawn on Sunday. What I really need is for them to tell me for certain there’s no way it is Rob’s.”

  “I think it’s pretty safe to say things don’t happen that quickly,” she said, probably in an attempt to make me feel better.

  “You do realize how fucking crazy all this is, right? I’ve only known Aiden for a little over two weeks. Why in the world would they ever want to be involved with someone like me who attracts all this freaky-ass drama?” I grabbed my forehead and began to knead at my temples.

  After a short pause, she said, “Because they love you.”

  Looking up at her, I shook my head. “No, they don’t. They might be infatuated with the broken little girl who needs fixed. They have big hearts. But they’re not in love with me.”

  “It doesn’t matter if they’ve said so or not. They are—I can tell. They’ve never brought a girl home before, and they treat you like gold,” she explained, another likely attempt to lift my spirits.

  “They just brought me here to protect me and try to get my mind off the shit that has become my life.”

  “And is that such a horrible trait? Trust me when I say this, you wouldn’t be here if they didn’t love you,” she said in a rather believable tone. She really had me second-guessing why I was so hesitant to share all this with them.

  “Thanks, Bri. I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass,” I apologized as I began to stand up from the bathroom floor. She quickly stood, offering me her hand.

  “You need to change the sweatshirt,” she said, while pointing to a spot on the sleeve.

  “Oh, yuck! That’s graceful,” I said, teasing myself for making a mess of Coda’s hoodie. As I worked the sweatshirt up over my head, the tee underneath also lifted up, showing my faded bruises and my tat.

  “Oh, wow,” Bri gasped.

  I quickly brought the shirt back down and covered myself, allowing the sweatshirt to fall to the floor. “Yeah, I got pretty beat up,” I defended.

  “That sucks, but I was actually referring to your tattoo. Can I see?” she asked, while tugging at the back hem of my shirt and attempting to lift it up. Feeling more confidence than I had the entire night, I let her lift my shirt up to the back of my neck so she could see the entire work of art.

  “That’s the most beautiful tat I’ve ever seen. Is this why Aiden calls you Angel?”

  “He called me Angel way before he ever saw the tat. It made me wonder how much was really in my student file,” I said, chuckling at the thought of my body art being noted instead of my academics.

  “Your student file? You don’t mean—” Her words cut off as realization set in. I guess she didn’t know I was one of Aiden’s students. “Aww, hell. He didn’t go there.”

  “It just kind of happened, Bri,” I defended.

  “He could get into so much trouble!” she exclaimed as she put down my shirt. I turned to look at her.

  “That’s why we don’t want anyone to know and why I’m officially dating Coda,” I said, using air quotes around the word officially.

  “Hah! Y’all just better be careful,” she warned, stating the obvious.

  Fixing the ponytail Bri put in my hair and rinsing my mouth once more, I looked at Bri through the mirror.

  “I’ve never seen Coda so upset before,” Bri finally said. “You do realize now that the guy is out on bail, Coda probably won’t let you out of his sight, right?”

  “God. I don’t know what I’m going to do about that. I know they’re going to be protective, but I need to keep working and going to classes. Taking this week off work will make finances hard enough. I can’t have bodyguards twenty-four seven.”

  “Shoot. I wouldn’t worry about finances. Even if it weren’t for Aiden’s newfound fortune through Tanya, Coda has enough to help you get by. Lawyers make a killing,” Bri said, dismissing my need for independence.

&n
bsp; “I don’t want to be seen as a charity case. The fact they bought me clothes and flew me up here is quite enough,” I explained sternly.

  “Again, Julia, you’re not a charity case. They do this for you because they care about you. The last thing they’re thinking about is money, trust me.”

  My frustrated grumble was very obvious as I turned to meet her stubborn stare.

  “You know I’m right,” she said with an infuriatingly pretty smile.

  They had most of the glass cleaned up by the time I moseyed on out of the bathroom, and Ann left shortly after. I could tell Ann wanted more information, but being the proper lady that she was, she kept her mouth shut and gracefully parted ways with her children.

  Bri attempted nonchalance as she told me I should go get some rest about an hour later. I couldn’t help but feel like all the drama in my life had ruined what was once a wonderful evening.

  Both Aiden and Coda kept quiet as they followed me to the loft. It was barely nine at night, and I felt like I could fall over with exhaustion at any moment. When trying to climb the last step at the top of the staircase, I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my stomach. This wasn’t nausea. This pain was more intense than words could express. It was only a twinge of pain—a moment in time that caused me to stumble—not enough to fall, but definitely enough to cause more drama.

  “Shit, Jules. You okay?” Coda asked as he lunged after me and held his arms out. Aiden already had a hand under my elbow, stabilizing me while I stood up straight.

  “Yeah, I’m just a walking disaster tonight, huh?” I chuckled. My hand shook as I feigned composure and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

  “What the heck is going on, Julia?” Aiden asked, while closing the bedroom door behind us. He stood tall and squared off in front of me, blocking my way to the bathroom.

  “What do you mean?” I foolishly asked, attempting to act like my insides weren’t being ripped out of me at that very moment.

  “You know damn well what I mean.”

  “Aiden, that’s enough,” Coda interjected, pushing at Aiden’s chest to get him to back down.