Dazzle Me (When You Dance Book 1)

by Juliana Haygert

  The fire took me over and I drowned in flames. I cried his name as I came. Josh sucked on my nipple one last time before moving his mouth to mine. Our tongues dueled, asking, demanding everything. He thrust one, two, three times … and then he growled and clutched me to him, his body quivering against mine.

  He let his body sag over mine—which I loved—and buried his face in my neck. “See?” he panted. “How was that for frigid?”

  I chuckled. Maybe he was right. I ran my hands over his back, tracing the ups and downs of his muscles, loving that he was here with me. I didn’t think I loved him—yet. I was quite sure that, if we continued down this path, I certainly would.

  I cleared my throat. “How about that dessert now?”

  His chuckle rumbled through my body. “Later. I’m good right here.”

  ***

  Josh

  Another week flew by. I felt … more alive and satisfied than I ever had before. And I was dancing more, better. It was like my chest was so full of happiness that it showed in my movements, my dancing. Even the ballet masters and instructors noticed.

  Even though she denied it, I knew Rayna was behind my newly found energy and focus on ballet.

  “I’m not that special,” she said, taking an apple from her tote. Our instructors had called a fifteen-minute break before our next rehearsal block. This time, though, we didn’t find any empty classrooms to sneak into, so we sat down on the front steps of a building, half a block from the company’s studios.

  “You are to me,” I said. My tone was teasing, but deep down I knew my words were true.

  Sighing, she leaned on me and rested her head on my shoulder. “I’m just … so tired. I’ve been practicing too much, here and at home. Madam Gallant almost sent me to the bench this morning because I was so sluggish. After class, she told me I was falling behind.” She shook her head against my shoulder. “I feel like I could sleep for an entire week.”

  I didn’t know what to tell her, so I kissed the top of her head and assured her everything would be fine.

  On Sunday, Rayna was exhausted again. Her mother had overworked her the previous night and just like that, my plans of having a fun Sunday with her went down the drain. I wanted to do some touristing with her, take more pictures of us together so I could send my parents. Bonus points for liking the city and wanting to share it with her. But Rayna arrived at my apartment before lunch, plopped down on my bed and barely got up all afternoon.

  For lunch, I wanted to make us a homemade, loaded cheeseburger, but she refused, saying she’d brought a salad instead.

  “I’ve gained two pounds this past week,” she muttered, stabbing the green leaves on her plate with her fork. “I need to lose them all, and more, before it starts showing.”

  I stared at her, taking in her lithe figure. There was no way anyone could tell she had gained two pounds. She was still slim and elegant. But I knew what she meant. If we weren’t careful, we could become heavy for our spins and jumps, making us less agile. And she was already having trouble keeping up as it was.

  Which was odd because I had seen her dance magnificently before. When we competed a few weeks ago, she had been perfect. The best. She could have competed with any of the principal dancers in our company. But now … now she was tired and grumpy about it all the time. I didn’t know how to help her, other than kissing her senseless so at least she would feel better.

  “How are things at The Dancer Corner going?”

  Instantly, her whole face brightened as a wide smile spread through her lips. “It’s great.” She told me about her classes and the little girls, and the coming winter recital. We’d discussed this exact topic several times, but it always made her so happy, I had to ask again.

  “Come here.” I dragged her under me in my bed and covered her mouth with mine.

  Soon, my naked body entangled with hers and there was nothing else to say.

  ***

  Rayna

  “I can’t be late.”

  Josh tightened his grip around my waist. “Just one more minute.”

  I laughed as he placed his lips on my neck, but instead of kisses, he blew raspberry, tickling me.

  “S-stop it,” I rasped between laughs.

  “I can’t help it.” He did it one more time. “You’re too ticklish. I have to do it.” He did it again and I slapped his shoulders.

  Laughing, he let me go. But only until I had put my pants back on—enough time to catch my breath. Then, he was on me, pressing me between him and the closed door, and claiming my mouth with his. With a groan, he clasped his hands around my waist and lifted me up. I wound my legs around him, and with my feet, pushed his hips toward mine.

  He bit my lower lip. “If you keep that up, I won’t let you go.”

  Damn it. I didn’t want him to let me go, but I didn’t tell him that. Instead, I kissed him one more time, deep and raw, while moving my hips against his, so he knew that I wanted to be here in his apartment instead of at my own.

  Finally, I dropped my legs back to the floor and pushed him away.

  “I really, really gotta go.”

  “But it’s Sunday. Tomorrow is our day off. You can stay here, sleep here.”

  He reached for me again and I squirmed away, laughing. “Stop it!” When I was sure he wouldn’t make a run for me again, I took a deep breath to calm myself and said, “I can’t sleep here when my mother is in town.” I put on my tee and smoothed my clothes—my clothes always ended up crumpled when Josh and I were alone. Usually on the floor. “She asked me not to be late for dinner tonight, because she has something important to tell me. That never happens, so I’m curious.”

  Josh frowned. “You know where to find me, if you need someone to talk to later. Or come to your rescue.”

  I smiled at my knight in shining tights. “Don’t worry. Even though she’s strict about my dancing, we never argue about it, and I don’t think we’ll start now.”

  Josh walked me out, down the stairs, and to the sidewalk. He teased me and held on to me, saying he wouldn’t let me go. But he did, and I went home, my mind shifting between happy memories with Josh and the crazy thoughts of what my mother would tell me.

  I opened the door to our apartment. “Mom?”

  “In the dining room, darling,” she replied.

  After locking the front door, I walked to the dining room, and froze.

  There was a man seated at the head of table.

  A man with graying hair, thin glasses, gray eyes, and a warm smile.

  “Rayna, this is James Rathbone.” My mother’s voice was matter-of-fact, as if this situation was normal and we hosted strange men in our apartment every day.

  “Hello, Rayna.” He stood and I noticed he was wearing dress pants and button shirt. “It’s so good to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  I glanced at my mother, who watched me with her eyebrows high, and back at James. “Nice to meet you,” I forced out. My brain whirled with so many thoughts, it shut down.

  My mother beckoned me to take my usual seat. With a frown, I sat and waited for more. An explanation, an accusation, something. Anything.

  My mother and James took their places at the table, and to my utter shock, James reached over and intertwined his fingers with my mother’s.

  I gaped. “What’s going on?”

  My mother cleared her throat and for a second she seemed nervous. Oh my … I didn’t remember seeing my mother nervous before. “Rayna, dear, James and I have been together for over a year now and—”

  “A year? And I didn’t know about this, why?”

  They exchanged a tight look.

  “James wanted to meet you since the beginning, but I … I felt like I needed to be sure we would work out before I brought a man into our lives.” Her voice was careful, almost sweet. My mother didn’t do sweet.

  Brought a man into our lives? Why was that a problem? He wouldn’t be a father to me; he wouldn’t raise me. She was talking to me as if I we
re nine years old instead of nineteen. I fought back the wave of disappointment and betrayal that made its way into me. My mother had betrayed my trust, belittled my maturity, hiding a boyfriend from me for so long.

  “I can see you’re offended about this, Rayna,” James started. “And I apologized for not insisting on the matter and having your mother introduce us sooner. However, I hope we can amend that error because I love your mother and I’m not going anywhere.”

  I clenched my teeth together. After a few seconds, my jaw started hurting from the effort.

  “Rayna, please,” my mother said, looking at me with pleading eyes, something I had never seen her do before. Never.

  I glanced at my hands, trying to gather my thoughts and sort through my feelings. I was hurt because of the deceit, but I was also . . . glad? Relieved? That wasn’t exactly right, but it was good to know my mother had someone other than me. I had no intentions of living with her forever, and I would feel better knowing she had a man who loved her and wanted to take care of her.

  Forcing a small smile, I lifted my head and looked at James.

  “I’m glad you could join us for dinner,” I said, my voice normal. Casual. “So, what is it that you do for a living, James?”

  ***

  Josh

  “What?”

  “I know, right? I was surprised too,” Rayna said.

  I rolled in my bed, lying on my back, and held the phone tight to my ear. “So … what did you think of the guy?”

  “James. His name is James Rathbone.” She paused and I could see her scrunching her cute nose, pensive. I wanted to have her here, lying in bed with me, so I could bite said nose. And then kiss her sweet lips. “At first I was skeptical. And hurt. Why the hell did my mother think it was okay to hide her boyfriend from me for so long?” Well, that rang a bell. Not that I was Rayna’s boyfriend. I wasn’t. Wasn’t I? “But I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we started talking and, well, he doesn’t sound too bad.”

  “As long as he treats your mother and you well, that’s all that matters, right?”

  “Right. And I’m relieved, you know? I hope they work out for real and maybe get married in the future. It’s so strange to think of my mother getting married, but it would be a relief to know she has someone, you know, for when I get out on my own.”

  My body tensed. “I didn’t know you wanted to get out on your own.”

  “It’s not something I think about often, but one day, I gotta do it, right? I mean, I’m not gonna live with her forever.”

  “Right.” I looked around to my bedroom and imagined having Rayna’s things mixed with mine. Her pillow beside mine. Her body pressed against mine every night. Heat spread over me. Fuck, I liked that picture. I liked that picture a lot.

  Silence fell between us and I cleared my throat, trying to think of something other than her moving into my apartment—Robbie’s apartment—with me.

  “What are you doing? Besides talking to me.”

  I chuckled. “Nothing. I was in bed, watching some videos of the Nutcracker on my laptop when you called. Now I’m just lying here, staring at the ceiling, and talking to you.”

  “I wish I was there with you,” she whispered.

  I sighed. “Me too.”

  “Maybe we should do that phone sex thing,” she said before laughing.

  I froze. Fuck, that sounded good right now. “Don’t tease me.”

  She stopped laughing. “You mean … you would actually do it?”

  “I don’t know. I never thought about it, but damn, it sounds interesting.” Silence met me and I frowned. “Rayna?”

  “I’m here,” she said, her voice quiet. “You … you want to try it?”

  And just like that, I could feel a massive hard-on coming to life. “I’m a guy, Rayna. I’m always up to trying these kinds of things.”

  She let out an embarrassed laugh. “Well, I’ve never done it and never thought I would do it, but I want to, with you.”

  Damn, this girl. This girl would be the death of me.

  “All right,” I said, spreading myself out on my bed. My hard-on was already aching inside my pants.

  She cleared her throat. “You want to start?”

  “Hm, sure.” But I had no idea how. I mean, I had to tell her what I would do with her, right? I was never a verbal guy in bed so this would be different, but fuck, I really wanted to try it.

  I opened my mouth to start when a knock echoed through my bedroom door. One second later, Robbie entered the room.

  “Hey, man, you—?” He saw the phone pressed against my ear. “Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were on the phone.”

  Trying to be inconspicuous, I sat up, making sure an arm casually fell in front of the bulge inside my pants.

  “What’s up?” I asked, my voice more throaty than usual.

  “I just rented that movie we were talking about, and ordered pizza. I also have beer in the freezer. Thought you would like to join me.”

  “I’m not sure—”

  “Go with him,” Rayna said through the phone.

  “What? Why?” I said to her.

  She chuckled. “The mood is gone and, knowing that Robbie is just outside your door, I’m not sure I can do it anyway.” I could imagine her cheeks reddening as she spoke. She always looked so pretty when embarrassed.

  I sighed. “All right. Rain check?”

  “Sure,” she said, but I could hear the insecurity crawling all over her. I would have to work on that. “Have fun.”

  I snorted. “Right. Well, good night, Ray.”

  “Good night, Josh.”

  With another sigh, I ended the call and faced my roommate. “This movie and pizza and beer better be fucking worth it.”

  Robbie looked at me like I was crazy. Since when was a phone call better than a new movie and pizza and beer? Yeah, but he didn’t know what I’d been about to get from that damned phone call.

  I just hoped Rayna didn’t forget about the rain check.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Rayna

  “No, you did not!” I laughed and almost spit out my water.

  “I swear I did,” Alicia insisted, laughing with me.

  We were at the food alley, eating salads and drinking water for our lunch, like two very professional dancers, though we both kept staring at all the burgers and burritos and hot dogs and french fries around us. The smell of grease and pure sweetness didn’t help.

  “You? Sneak in a boy’s bedroom? No way. You’re too …” I gestured to her.

  She lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

  “Quiet? Polite? Shy? I don’t know. I just can’t see you doing it.”

  We laughed some more. Apparently, Alicia had had a crush on a guy back in her hometown, and once, in the middle of the night, when she thought he was kind of responding to her flirting, she had sneaked into his bedroom. The problem was, he wasn’t in his room, his younger brother was. She almost woke him up by jumping on him, but then she saw it wasn’t her guy at the last second and scurried out of the house, making a lot of noise in the process.

  Turned out her crush had spent the night at a friend’s house.

  “Well, I did it.” She stuck her tongue at me, and then shoved a forkful of salad in her mouth.

  “What are you two ladies up to?” Josh said, sitting in the chair beside me while Zack took the chair beside Alicia. They both set their sandwiches in front of them and Josh turned to me, a wicked glint in his blue eyes.

  “Nothing,” Alicia said, watching us with her eagle gaze. She was cheering for us, practically living vicariously through us.

  “With all that giggling, I doubt it,” Zack said.

  Zack didn’t know Josh and I were together, but I thought he suspected, since Josh was always around, always close to me, and we were always talking and smiling at each other.

  I knew we should be more careful, but sometimes that was too hard. It was hard not to touch him, not to hold his hand, not to snuggle in his arms and nuzzle his ne
ck. Not to kiss his sweet lips.

  I sighed.

  “What is it?” he asked in low voice, just for me to hear.

  I smiled, leaning toward him, but still conscious that I shouldn’t get too close. “Just thinking about us.”

  “I like us,” he said before taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.

  I chuckled. “I like us too.” Without meaning to, I leaned into him and kissed his cheek. Then, realizing what I had done, I pulled away and stared at my salad.

  “Careful,” Josh said in a teasing tone. “I have a girl, you know.”

  I smiled and glared at him. “I bet she’s great.”

  “Oh, she’s the best.” He winked.

  “You two, lovebirds,” Zack called out. “Knock it off. It’s giving us nausea.”

  Wait. What? Zack knew about Josh and me. And he hadn’t mentioned anything about it before? I felt like I should be wary of this fact, but the truth was that I was relieved he knew and was cool about it.

  Alicia had a grin on her face. “Not me. I like it.”

  “Always the romantic,” I said, chuckling.

  Alicia nodded. “That’s me.”

  We talked and joked and teased some more while we finished our lunch. Then the four of us walked back to the company together, Josh’s shoulder brushing mine every few feet. Once more the urge to hold hands and lay my head on his shoulder hit me hard and left my chest aching.

  We separated in front of the locker room. Josh threw me a longing glance before disappearing past the door. Just as I was about to duck inside the ladies’ locker room, Zack grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

  He leaned into me. “I heard Josh and the other guys mention it’s his birthday this next Thursday. They wanted to go out, or throw a party, but Josh refused. He said he was too old for birthday parties.” He glanced side to side. “I thought you would like to know.”

  Josh and I hadn’t opened up to each other much. At least, not like that evening when he told me about lying to his family that he was in college, and I told him about my mother’s pressure about being the best. I knew he had a birthday coming up, but for some reason, he never told me when it was exactly.