“Girl, I’ll come and get you I said. Just chill, I gotta get used to the idea too…”
“A’ight yo…”
“See you soon,” Deedee said, glancing around her room ful of clothing.
From the Dolce and Gabbana section to the different Cavalli jeans and Donna Karan blouses, Deedee searched for something to ease the pain she felt. Even with Gucci heels, Christian Louboutin and Prada designer shoes all over the place, she couldn’t find the right combination. Deedee wanted to feel special, but it was proving difficult. Wishing she could go shopping, she started dressing. Suddenly she held her stomach, broke down, and tears flowed again.
Eventually Deedee pulled her outfit and herself together. Then she strutted out of the apartment still managing to look fresh. She rode the elevator downstairs to the garage silently going through her cell phone. Deedee erased the messages from Rightchus without responding. Downstairs in her BMW, she sat in the driver’s seat checking her reflection in the rearview mirror. Slipping on the oversized Gucci shades, Deedee put the car in gear and was on her way to meet with her best friend.
She pulled to a stop outside Coco’s apartment building. Deedee dialed Coco from the cell phone.
“Coco, I’m downstairs…”
“Okay, yo. Give a second and I’ll be down.”
Deedee turned up the music on the radio. She was strumming her finger to the beat like her uncle used to do, when suddenly a nauseating feeling overtook her. Deedee felt tremors in her stomach and soon she felt a rush coming up her throat. Panic stricken, Deedee quickly let down the window in time. Then she spat outside.
Vomit stains swiveled from the saliva on her lips. Reaching for tissue from her glove compartment, Deedee wiped the residue left dribbling from the corners of her mouth. She spat again and again, attracting the attention of the small crowd in front of the building.
“Shut da front door, bitch! I bet you wouldn’t guess who I just saw calling Earl…?” Tina said in urgent, hushed tones. In a building not far away from Coco’s in a sixth-floor apartment, Kim was taking care of her son, Roshawn, and simultaneously carrying on a phone conversation with her childhood friend, Tina.
“You by my building…?”
“I’m not that far away,” Tina said.
“How far is not that far away…?”
“I’m outside that show-off, wanna-be rapper’s building. And guess who just pulled up vomiting all over the place?”
“Deedee…?”
“Bingo! That rapper bitch just came out her building now. They probably going to the abortion clinic now… Ha, ha. I told you…”
“Just c’mon upstairs and lemme drop off Roshawn by my mother.”
“Chill out bitch. I’m watching what them two up to…”
“What they doing…?”
“They just hug and sitting in Deedee’s car running their mouths. Deedee probably telling that gay bitch about her pregnancy…And the gay bitch probably telling her that they should live together and let the baby have two mamis,” Tina loudly laughed.
“Oh you’re too much. C’mon up—I gotta go get my hair did and shyt,” Kim said.
“I wish I was a fly. I’d just fly over there and hear what ’em bitches talkin’ ’bout.”
Tina stood a few feet out of sight, watching Coco and Deedee. The teens continued talking for a couple of beats. Then the BMW rolled away.
“What they doing now, fly…?”
“Deedee drove off. They outta here…and who you callin’ fly, bitch…?”
“Look, you running up my Verizon bill. So just bring your ass upstairs so I can get off this call and take care of my baby boy…”
“A’ight, give me a minute. I’m a buy some cigarettes and shit and then I’m on my way up to see your stank black ass…” Tina chuckled.
“Whateva bitch…!” Kim answered and hung up.
She was dialing the number to her mother when she heard the downstairs bell buzzing. A few minutes later Kim hung up the call to her mother when Tina rang the doorbell.
“Easy chica—what, there’s a fire or sump’n?”
“Let me in, Kim. Can’t you tell I’m in a rush, bitch?” Tina asked, barging through as soon as the door was opened. “I wanna use your bathroom,” she continued, running through the small hallway.
Kim shook her from side to side as she watched Tina race inside the bathroom. She closed the door and locked it while Kim was still looking at the bathroom door. Kim was waiting when Tina finally emerged from the bathroom.
“Every time you come here, you run straight to the bathroom. Your place is just around the corner. Don’t you know you wanna piss or shit before you leave? Or is your system too weak to handle the journey?”
“It ain’t like that. I was downstairs looking at—”
“You were downstairs being nosy, and forgot that you wanted to take a shyt, bitch?”
“Shut da front door. I only took a piss, ho. Next time—”
“Next time…? There shouldn’t be a next time. Cause your ass got a—”
“Will you stop cutting me off? I was telling you that Reggie must’ve pushed something up in that bitch, Deedee—”
“Wait a minute don’t be coming up in my place telling me what I can and cannot do. You hear?”
“A’ight already. Like I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. That bourgeois-ass bitch from downtown outside in da projects in the morning, vomiting like some ghetto girl…”
“Damn, she must be having morning sickness and all that shyt,” Kim mused.
“Reggie did his J-O-B,” Tina laughed.
“What’s that shyt?”
“He done put a bun up in that oven, ho.”
“Huh-uh!”
“I told you that young nigga had a big ass dick. And you know them young boys, they ready to fire off and impregnate your ass with da quickness.”
“Yeah you should know, bitch,” Kim said. “You laughing like you’re the one pregnant.”
“Shut your trap, ho. That nigga dead. He gone. He can’t raise no kids or even get money to raise a child. She assed out if she keeps that baby.”
“Yeah, you right, bitch. But she probably ain’t gonna keep that baby. Her uncle full of money, I’m sure she’s gonna get an abortion.”
“An early abortion, huh? You probably right, ho. That’s what she gonna do. I know her bourgie-ass ain’t planning on having no fatherless child. Especially when the daddy dead,” Tina said.
“You’re such a fake-ass—”
“Oh please, lemme go see my new boo,” Tina said with a chuckle.
Her cynical laugh echoed through the apartment. Both Roshawn and Kim stared at her as if she was a lunatic. Tina happily rushed over to the infant and he smiled when he saw her.
“Hey Roshawn,” Tina said, lifting the infant in the air. “Wouldn’t you have love to hear them two bitches discussing their BI? Next is that ho-ass-lesbo, Coco.”
“A’ight Tina. Be very careful with my son,” Kim said. “And don’t bring him into any of your shenanigans, Miss Tina.”
“Shut your face, bitch. I wouldn’t do that. You think it’s a boy or girl?”
“Shyt, it don’t make me no difference.”
“You might be right, ho. She ain’t gonna keep it anyways.”
“I don’t think so. And please stop saying B’s and H’s around my son. When he goes to preschool he gonna be calling his teachers B’s and ho’s cuz that’s all he hear coming outta your mouth.”
“Damn ho, I’m real curious about that.”
“What’s there to be curious about, bitch? Roshawn will be three and a half next month. He can start preschool in the fall.”
“Shut your face. I know ’bout that—I’m talking about Deedee and her baby.”
“Tina, I think you’re possessed by the devil himself. Okay…?”
“Whatever, ho—oops I’m sorry Roshawn.”
“You’re working on not getting invited back. And furthermore I think you just ma
d that it ain’t your ass that’s prego,” Kim laughed.
“Shut da front door! Why would I even want some nappy-headed-nigga-who’s-dead baby…? My son Angel is my little man and he got real nice hair. Speaking of which, bitch, ain’t you gonna get your hair did?”
“For once you right. Roshawn stay with your crazy auntie while your sane mother get dressed. Okay baby boy…?” Kim said, smiling at her son.
She handed the infant a couple of his toys and started to walk away. Making sure Roshawn was safe, Kim turned and saw Tina dialing on the phone.
“You calling one of your johns?”
“Yes, it’s all about that dollar, girlfriend,” Tina said waiting for an answer. “I gotta make it to get up out this hood and live like the rich and famous.”
“Please child, that’s the song on every poor bird’s lips,” Kim said.
“Aw hell no! Them ghetto birds ain’t doing what I’m doing ’bout it,”
“You’re always conniving… Who you conspiring with now?”
“Don’t you worry. Just hurry and wash your stink ass, ho. We gotta make a stop downtown.”
“Didn’t I just told you about cursing around my son? You are gonna let me go upside that wooden head of yours, Tina.”
“I’ll make it up. We can go shoe shopping later. It’s on me, baby,” Tina smiled.
“Balling! But don’t you be dropping no more H-bombs and B-bombs around my child. No F-bombs either. Dammit! See now you got me cursing,” Kim hastily said.
“Look just hurry the F-up and get ready, I got Roshawn, and I promise not to curse around him. We just gonna watch some videos.”
“Watch cartoons instead. I don’t like Roshawn watching them video ho’s shaking their stink asses,” Kim said.
“Kim stop hatin’,” Tina said. “Go wash your stink A…” Tina laughed.
4
They strolled through Central Park on a warm sunny day. Coco and Deedee held hands and stopped several times to embrace. Both shared their problems and bared their souls to each other. Consoling each other when necessary, Coco and Deedee walked along the curving promenades of the park. The pair avoided midday bikers and runners out enjoying summer by staying on the long stretches of green grass. They wound up outside a small play area built for young children.
Then came the hypnotic chiming from the ice cream truck. Deedee watched several parents and children reacting in the same manner, running in the direction of the refreshment vehicle. Some kids had to drag their parents toward the truck while others walked along with their mothers.
“I know what you thinking, yo.”
“What am I thinking, Coco?”
“You’re thinking, ‘My kid is not gonna be bossing me around. He’s gonna be cool like me.’ Sump’n like that…”
“Close, I was just wondering what it would be like if I keep it?”
“I thought you said it’s a decision you’ve already made. It sounded like you already made up your mind and the only person you gotta tell is your uncle.”
“I don’t know Coco. I’ve been thinking about all possibilities, but I don’t know. I mean I feel like I should keep it and then… I don’t know.”
“I guess it’s hard to make up your mind at this point, yo. But you can’t be waiting too long.”
Deedee glanced at the throng of children at the ice cream truck. She heard their laughter and felt their innocent happiness. Hugging her belly, she turned her attention at Coco.
“What would you do if it was you, Coco?” Deedee asked.
Coco looked away. She pulled out two cigarettes and offered Deedee one. At first, Deedee declined then she took the cigarette. Coco lit both and they inhaled.
“I’d get rid of it,” Coco exhaled.
Deedee stared at her as Coco’s answer sank in. Cool and calculating, Deedee thought sizing up Coco. She inhaled then exhaled before continuing the conversation.
“Just like that? I mean, why?”
“For my own selfish reasons,” Coco said.
“Such as…”
“With madukes condition and all the shit going on in my life, right now wouldn’t be a good time for me or the baby that’s all.”
“But what if you can’t live with yourself after you have that abortion, Coco?”
“I’m just saying, me, personally—I wouldn’t be able to do it and I’d have to live with that.”
“But why?”
“Why? I ain’t got money like you Dee. I mean you could afford to do all that. But I can’t, yo.”
“Please, my uncle took away my car and I can’t even shop.”
“Damn, I hear you. But even when you can’t wild out on shopping sprees, you’re still way richer than me. My family income is at the bottom of the chart. In order for me to accomplish anything, I gotta downsize. I can’t be having no kids and all that. My mother… We on welfare. That shit ain’t fun, yo. Your uncle is a millionaire. Y’all are rich.”
“Hmm, I don’t feel that way right now.”
“Me, I’d be a broke-ass bitch on welfare. And I really don’t want to be that. Plus I won’t have no time to do what I want to do if I had a kid. For real, yo.”
“Yes, you’re right. Having a baby takes a lot. I don’t know Coco. I just started thinking seriously about it after I took the test this morning. I mean it hit me then. And I gotta make a decision.”
“Well, I want you to know that whatever you decide, I’m gonna support you, Dee. I’ll be by your side.”
“I know, Coco.”
“C’mon let’s go get ice-cream cones,” Deedee suggested.
“Nah, ma. I want a strawberry sundae, yo.”
“Don’t yo me. I’m not a yo-yo,” Deedee said with a twinkle in her eyes.
Both girls laughed, hurrying toward the ice cream truck. The first throng of customers had been served and dissipated to enjoy their treats. Deedee ordered, then the girls walked away arm in arm, licking matching strawberry ice-cream cones.
“Now that you can’t shop till you drop, what’re you gonna do, Deedee?”
“I’m gonna be your best friend again, Coco.”
“Again…?”
“Yes, again. I think we had a little separation there for a minute, but we got a lot of time to make up for it,” Deedee said.
She smiled and licked her ice cream cone while glancing at Coco. The sound of Deedee’s soft lips smacking made Coco laugh. Pointing her finger at Deedee, she said,
“You’re soo hood, yo.”
“I can’t be less than a ghetto girl, hanging with you Coco. You taught me well,” Deedee laughed, countering.
“Whateva,” Coco said, feigning disdain. “Anyway, I don’t know if I’ll finish recording my first album, yo.”
“You were really looking forward to getting that done, huh?”
“Like hell yeah, yo. I mean this summer has been soo fucked up so far. Damn!”
“It over yet, Coco. Uncle E will get it together. He always rises above obstacles.”
“I know he will, Dee. He better, yo. Or else…”
“He will, Coco.”
The girls threw their bodies against each other in a tight embrace. Coco and Deedee hugged quietly, blending into a park of lovers and children playing under their parents watchful eyes. Their chests rose and fell in unison. Bated breaths escaped from the slight opening of their lips. The girls gazed into each other’s eyes. Then their lips met. Deedee planted a deep kiss on Coco’s quivering lips.
She was totally surprised by Deedee’s open display of affection. It was an aggressive act, but Coco managed a shy smile. They were still in each other’s embrace when staring into Deedee’s soft brown eyes, Coco returned Deedee’s kiss. They hugged for a few more pulsing heartbeats, before they smiled and started walking.
Coco’s knees felt weak and she almost stumbled trying to ease into her familiar bop. She held on tightly to Deedee’s seemingly strong arm, trying to prevent the sudden rush of emotion she felt overwhelming her. Her face was flushed, an
d she was lightheaded. All she could think about was the kiss.
“Why’d you do that, yo? Coco finally asked.
“It must be the air. I mean the park, the weather, sometimes when I’m with you, Coco, everything just seems right.”
“And I guess you felt like you had to kiss me…?”
“I was trying to show you love,” Deedee answered.
They were still hand in hand walking silently in the park while chatting. Deedee looked at Coco, who was busy glancing at the birds in the trees. There was a slight wind blowing, And strands of Coco’s afro flew around her face. Coco was trying to avoid eye contact, but Deedee recognized the gleam in her friend’s eyes.
“Hope I didn’t offend you, Coco,” Deedee said, squeezing Coco’s hands.
“No, it wasn’t like that, yo.” “It was just… Ah, you know kind a sudden, spontaneous,” Coco continued with a faint smile.
“Spontaneity is good sometimes,” Deedee said, returning Coco’s attempt at a smile.
They walked smiling, hand in hand, through the park. Both girls had entered with different thoughts weighing on their minds. The same feeling, surging and charging their bodies, now united them.
Coco found her swagger and easily bounced in her bop by the time they reached the car. Deedee opened the door with a remote starter. They made plans to continue hanging together for the rest of the evening.
“Coco, let’s go see that new Ice Cube movie.”
“I can but you’d have to take me to see my mother first, yo.”
“Okay cool. It’s a deal. Maybe we can grab something to eat on the way to the movie.”
Deedee started the car and hit the road, heading in the direction of Harlem Hospital. They arrived there in a flash and Coco jumped out the car.
“I’ll see you in a few, yo.”
“No you won’t. I’m parking and coming in with you.”
“You don’t really have to. I mean she might be awake, but she’s not able to stay up for too long. So I’m—”
“I’m with you all the way, Coco. And that’s all,” Deedee said, waving her hand interrupting Coco.
Coco smiled and stood watching as Deedee quickly found parking. She joined Coco and together they strutted into the hospital.
“Furthermore, I’ve visited your mother when she was in the hospital before,” Deedee said.
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