‘And how is that any of your business exactly? You’ve only just met her, so why do you care so much? You haven’t been a naughty boy and got her pregnant or anything like that, have you?’ John laughed out loud nervously.
‘Shut up, of course not!’ Tony turned back to the computer screen.
‘Well, you can send her some money to help her out when we make it big,’ concluded John.
Tony shook his head.
‘You’re an idiot, you know that. She doesn’t need money. She’s a published author and her book has made her a fortune. None of this is about money! It’s about being together.’
‘Wow, I didn’t know you were dating a millionaire? Damn, I regret that it wasn’t me who bumped into her on that train!’ He laughed. ‘Still, you should get her to invest some of that money in our business. If you’d paid more attention to what’s been going on here in the last few weeks, you’d know we desperately need some new machinery. Other than that, you could always ask your granddad to lend us some more.’
‘You mean give? I don’t think so! Hasn’t he wasted enough on this place? Unless a miracle happens, we have no means of ever giving it back to him! In case you didn’t notice, this place is hemorrhaging money, despite the fact we never stop working!’
Tony got up from the desk angrily, and put his cup in the sink. Then he picked up his coat and headed for the door. Seeing him leave John shouted, ‘When are you coming back? I need you to be here in the evening. The department store window exhibition is being picked up tonight, and we’ll need as many hands as possible to put everything we’re taking with us in transport.’
Tony opened the door, and without looking back shouted, ‘You’ll manage without me!’
CHAPTER 30
‘Granddad! It’s me! Where are you?’
Tony opened the door to the house in Keston Park. The November sun shone brightly into the house through the windows as he walked in. He took off his jacket, left it in the hall, and walked through to the kitchen. The back door to the garden was open, and he figured his granddad must be out there.
‘Granddad! It’s me, Tony!’ he shouted again.
‘In here!’
He heard the familiar voice as he walked out to the patio. His grandfather, Mike, was wearing a baseball hat and a winter jacket, and was sitting under the large pink umbrella, holding his walking stick in one hand. The brightly-colored umbrella was part of a new garden set that Tony had never seen before.
‘Blimey, that’s a bit girly!’ He pointed to the umbrella, while leaning over and giving his granddad a hug. The old man held him close.
‘It’s Mrs. Power. She said that I needed to protect my skin from sun damage and get a garden set. Can you imagine?’ He laughed. ‘Here. In England. Protect myself from the sun? But I finally gave in just so she’d stop talking about it, and then she goes and buys me that! It’s ridiculous, isn’t it?’
Tony laughed and opened one of the matching folding chairs.
‘Pretty comfortable though. Really not bad.’
He looked around the garden. It had not changed much at all since he’d arrived here at the age of five. In front of him there was a small pond, with several ducks swimming in it. All around the garden, the grass had a rich, green color, as Mike would water it regularly throughout the day. Moss covered the garden side of the kitchen wall. To his left was the greenhouse, where Mike grew tomatoes. Further to the left grew a huge oak, that was planted when Mike’s daughter - Tony’s mum Kirsty - was born. The old oak always reminded Tony about his mum, and since early childhood he liked to imagine that she was watching him from the inside of the tree. He instantly straightened up in his chair and smiled faintly in its direction.
To his right, there was a shed, in which Mike kept various tools. The shed had a small kitchenette and a shower room, and to most people, it would make for a perfectly livable studio. It was also where Tony and his granddad used to make things out of wood when he was a child, and then a teenager. Tony looked at the shed with sentiment, as he always did when he visited. It had been a couple of months since he’d moved out and started living in the apartment above the studio in Greenwich. The travel backwards and forwards to Greenwich used up so much money and time - and time was the one thing Tony Peters never had, since he spent most his life working. Besides, now that he was technically living at work, his partner John could undertake jobs outside the studio to help with their finances, knowing that Tony was onsite to mind the business. But he missed his granddad dearly, and despite him being healthy, he still worried about him copying on his own. The only comforting thought he had was that his grandfather was in the capable hands of Mrs. Power, the widow from next door.
‘How are you, my boy?’ Mike asked.
‘I’m okay granddad … what about you?’ Tony replied. But he was unable to hide his misery.
‘Your words contradict your facial expression. Something’s wrong isn’t it?’ The old man placed his walking stick in an upright position and put both his hands on the top of it.
‘Well, kind of …’ Tony looked away. He knew that his granddad knew him far better than anyone.
‘Come on, tell your grandfather what it is. You’re not ill are you, son?’
‘No, it’s nothing like that. It’s more like, you know, it’s this girl … I mean this … woman.’ Tony struggled for words.
‘Ah, a woman.’ Mike smiled and nodded his head. ‘Let’s go back into the house. You can tell me all about her while we have some tea. Mrs. Power brought me her homemade carrot cake yesterday. We’ll have some of that.’
Mike got up slowly, supporting himself on his stick. Tony waited for him to reach the kitchen door and then walked into the house behind him. Tony sat at the table as Mike unzipped his jacket and went to hang it in the hall. He then returned to the kitchen picked up the kettle and filled it with fresh water. Leaving it to boil, he came to the table to sit next to his grandson.
‘So tell me, who is this girl who is causing you trouble?’ He looked at Tony with a kind smile.
‘Oh granddad.’ Tony held his head in his hands and not knowing where to start just said, ‘It’s such a mess, it really is!’
‘It can’t be that bad, Tony. She’s probably just playing hard to get. Women!’ Mike rolled his eyes upwards.
‘Do you remember my ex-girlfriend, Vera Smith?’ Tony asked, staring at the table.
‘Yes, of course,’ answered Mike. ‘She was a nice girl, and easy on the eye too. I always thought it was a pity you two split up. Have you heard from her recently?’
‘You can say that again! I met her a few weeks ago and …’ He raised his head and looked at Mike. ‘We’ve been going out again.’
‘Oh, so you’re back together?’ Mike seemed rather pleased.
‘This is the complicated bit, granddad. You see, she doesn’t know who I am. I mean, of course she knows who I am, but she doesn’t remember me from before, and doesn’t remember us dating.’
‘What do you mean?’ Why doesn’t she remember you?’ Mike looked confused.
Tony gulped and knew this was the difficult part to tell. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint his beloved granddad, but he needed to tell him the truth, if only to get it off his chest too.
‘Because, granddad, after we were finished, she had an accident, and now she has amnesia. She doesn’t remember anything past the age of seventeen - including me.’
The kettle had boiled, but after Tony’s confession, neither of the two were keen to move. Mike sat in silence trying to take in what he’d just heard, stroking his chin with his hand and then rubbing his hair.
‘Did you approach her knowing what had happened to her?’ he asked with a stern expression on his face.
‘No granddad, no, it wasn’t like that!’ protested Tony. ‘I thought we were finished. God knows I didn’t want us to be, but we were. So I didn’t contact her. And then a few weeks later, I was on a train and she just got in. My heart jumped when I saw her, but she ig
nored me throughout the journey - or so I thought at the time. I thought she was just being silly and stubborn.’ Suddenly Tony got up angrily and headed towards the window. ‘To be honest, I don’t know what I was thinking! But I got off to speak to her, at least to clear the air. I didn’t think that after the time we’d spent together, we should ignore each other. But then I found out what happened to her. And as crazy as this may sound, I felt that maybe the Universe was giving us another chance. And I thought that maybe we could start afresh, with the slate wiped cleaned - no arguments, no old grievances - just us.’ Tony’s eyes watered, as they always did when he became very emotional.
‘Oh Tony…’ Mike got up slowly and walked towards the window to console his grandson. ‘So I take it she’s found everything out? What exactly happened?’ He patted his grandson’s back with his hand.
Tony wiped the tear that was rolling down his cheek away, and spoke with his voice breaking, ‘No, but she believes that I still love my ex-girlfriend and doesn’t realize my ex-girlfriend … is her. To make matters worse, we got chosen by the British Council to go on that six-month moving exhibition trip, but John only found out about it yesterday. I told Vera about it last night, and now, not only does she think that I love another woman, but also that I knew I was going away and only used her for a bit of fun! What am I going to do, granddad?’ He turned to Mike in turmoil.
Mike walked back to the kitchen, and while pondering what advice to give his grandson, opened a cupboard to get the carrot cake. He cut two slices, placed them on the plates and made the tea. He was silent as it brewed, and then quietly brought everything to the table. Than Mike stirred sugar into his tea and thought deeply about what he wanted to say, before he finally turned his eyes to Tony again.
‘You are going to tell the truth, Tony, that’s what you’ll do. You’ve tricked that poor girl - and be prepared for the fact that she might not want to know you after you’ll tell her this. But it’s the right thing to do, Tony. As for work, let me ask you this - do you want to go abroad?’
‘I thought I did. You know how hard we’ve been working. And the offer and the opportunities that could come from it could be amazing. But now I’m torn. I don’t want to leave Vera. But I don’t know if there will be anything to stay for when she finds out the truth.’
Mike scratched the side of his neck nervously. Realizing that he couldn’t help his grandson was hard to accept.
‘I understand now why you’re so worried. To be honest, son, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a story like the one you’ve just told me. But regardless of the outcome, you need to tell her the truth. She might even come around, you never know. As for your work, I don’t understand how the British Council could just decide in a day that you need to go abroad for half a year. It’s quite strange. They should have given you weeks to prepare!’
‘Yeah,’ nodded Tony. ‘Still, we are ready. Everything we need is at the Tate - correction - was at the Tate. Lucy has probably taken everything down by now and it will be on the way to the studio. We’re supposed to pack it tonight. I think the courier will be picking it up tomorrow.’
‘So where are they shipping it to? Where are you going first?’ asked Mike.
‘Australia,’ Tony replied numbly, while he sipped his tea.
‘Australia?’ Mike repeated, and suddenly got up much more quickly than usually. He left the table, walked to the back door and looked at the garden through the window. Tony knew that his granddad didn’t like anyone around him mentioning Australia. Not after what had happened to his beloved daughter over there. And now he was staring at the oak that represented her birth, with an angry expression on his face.
Tony didn’t know what to say and forgetting his own troubles for a moment he walked towards his grandfather and asked quietly, ‘Are you okay, granddad?’ as he placed his hand on his back.
‘Fine,’ he answered sharply, staring ahead into the garden. ‘It’s just that when I remember everything … it … it makes me angry,’ he said. ‘She didn’t have to go there, your mum, she could have stayed here. It just makes me angry.’
Tony cleared his throat, and given the opportunity, pondered asking Mike what he had always wanted to ask. Up to this day, he’d known very little about the accident in Australia. But he sensed very early on, as a child, that his grandfather blamed his dad, Gerry, for taking his beloved daughter out there.
But was it a good moment to ask about something so painful and traumatic? Then, unexpectedly, he plucked up the courage and said, ‘I get the feeling, granddad, that you have always blamed my dad for the accident. But please remember that mum wouldn’t have gone if she hadn’t wanted to.’
Mike turned around and looked at Tony.
‘She only went there because she didn’t want to let your dad down, son. Your dad lived for his work. I’m not saying that he didn’t love her, or you or your brother, but he shouldn’t have expected her to move to the other side of the world. She’d already given up enough for him - her career, her personal development - she graduated with honors, you know, and she would have been a great lawyer. She had it in her. And for what? Only to meet Gerry, fall pregnant, and stay at home to cook dinners!’
‘Granddad!’ shouted Tony suddenly. ‘You can’t be serious! Mum wanted the life she chose as much as she wanted to go to Australia. She was happy, I’m sure she was.’
‘She wanted your dad to be happy, that’s why she went there, son. If not for his passion for the research, his ambitions, she wouldn’t have. It’s as simple as that. You’re old enough to know that now.’
Mike walked away from the window, picked up his tea, and walked across the kitchen to the living room. He sat down beside the huge fireplace.
Tony, unable to leave their conversation where it stood, followed him. He sat down opposite him.
‘I don’t like us falling out, granddad, but I don’t agree with you. And I won’t have you say bad things about my dad.’
‘These aren’t bad things, my boy, these are facts. Tony, son, when you have your own children, you’ll understand. I don’t hate your dad. Without him, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me, and you’re the best thing in my life. But I did blame him for years. That’s why we never really talked about him.’
Mike stopped, collecting his thoughts. He sipped his tea.
‘I worked hard for years,’ he continued. ‘Despite the fact that the foundry was mine, I did physical labor before I could concentrate only on the office. I didn’t follow my own artistic passions - because there was no money in it. I put my family first. And I expected the same from your dad. As I said, I blamed him for years.’
‘So what’s changed now?’ Tony leaned closer to him.
‘Over the years, things have gone round in circles in my head, and I never really voiced any of that anger, that disappointment, or that frustration to anyone. And then a couple of weeks ago, Mrs. Power asked me to show her some photos of Kirsty. So I did. And the first thing she commented on was how happy she looked on all of them. And just like that I got it: your mum was happy. My Kirsty was happy with your dad. And that’s the best I could have ever have hoped for my daughter - to be happy. And now I know she was.’
Tony went to his granddad, sat next to him on the sofa and gave him a hug. As they sat in the embrace, Tony’s thoughts went back to Vera.
‘Granddad,’ he said, pulling away, ‘if I can sort things out with Vera, do you think I should abandon the exhibition and stay?’
Mike thought long and hard before answering him. He knew how much Tony relied on his opinion, so he didn’t want to give him the wrong advice at such a crucial moment in his life.
‘Do you love her?’ he asked him.
‘She’s the only girl I ever loved, granddad. And she seems even more lovable now, after the accident. She’s more relaxed, she’s not worried about the things she used to be stressed about, and she’s calm. She’s just like my old Vera, but a bit more perfect. And she seems even more beautiful.’ Tony smiled at
the recollection of Vera’s face.
Seeing how much he clearly cared about Vera, Mike put his cup of tea on a side table and asked him another question, ‘And are you happy?’
‘When I’m with her I feel like I could do anything - move mountains, if you like. Yes, she makes me very happy.’
‘Then you’ve got your answer.’ Mike smiled at him.
‘But if we can work things out, what am I going to do about John? I don’t want to let him down, or you for that matter. You always supported my work, and invested so much money into the studio. I can’t let you down.’ Tony looked sad and confused again.
‘Tony, I support your work not because I want you to do what I couldn’t, or because I’ve put money in it. I support it because I will support anything that makes you happy. And as it happens, if you want to go after that girl, and start a family one day, for example, I will be happier than you could ever imagine. I’m old now, and I would love to know before I go that I’m not leaving you alone in this world. I’d like to know you’ve got your own family, and someone to come home to every day. You can always come back to your job, and you don’t have to only collaborate with John. But you may not always have Vera. So hold onto this true love, if you know you found it.’
For the next few seconds Tony looked aghast, almost shocked. He’d spend his entire life thinking that he didn’t need anyone but his granddad, that he’d never want life-long commitment with any woman, that his main aim in life was not to let anyone down - not John, who was motivated and driven, and not his granddad, who couldn’t realize his passion when he was younger, and had invested all his time and effort in trying to make it big for him instead. And suddenly it dawned on him that what he thought he’d always wanted, wasn’t actually what he truly wanted.
‘You know what, granddad,’ he said. ‘It’s like you’ve just opened up my mind by saying that. I’ve been scared all my life. Scared to fall in love and offer someone the commitment that might lead to having children and being a family. Scared to take that risk, because I didn’t want to leave any pain behind.’
Before We Met: What Happens When You Fall For The Same Man Twice But Don't Even Know It Page 16