Alex Verus Novels, Books 1-4 (9780698175952)

by Jacka, Benedict

  “But it was your choice.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You could have been safe,” Shireen said. “Helikaon told you. Why did you stay?”

  “Because I’m an idiot. Leave me alone.”

  “You knew what you were doing.”

  “If you know so much, why do you keep asking me?”

  Shireen didn’t answer, and I stopped and looked at her. “Fine. I stayed because of Luna.”

  As I said the last word, I felt something shift. I looked around and realised that the walkway had been steadily descending until it was level with the city rooftops. Ahead, it sloped down to street level, ending in front of a mansion. A familiar one.

  Shireen spoke into the silence. “It’s in there.”

  Slowly, I walked towards Richard’s mansion. It was exactly as I remembered it, right down to the cracked stone at the doorway. I came to a stop in front of the double doors.

  “Why are you stopping?” Shireen asked from behind me. “Are you afraid?”

  I stood silently before answering. “Yes.”

  We stood looking at the doors for a minute. The city was quiet, expectant, as though holding its breath. “I swore I’d never come back here,” I said at last. “When I escaped.”

  “But you didn’t. Not really.”

  I turned in surprise to see that Shireen was looking up at me seriously. “You never really got away. That’s why you have the dreams every night. You live alone, you don’t get close to anyone, the only human friend you’ve made is a girl who can’t be touched. Morden was right, you know—you are still living like Richard taught you.”

  I looked back at Shireen in silence. “What does that matter?” I said at last.

  “Because Morden was wrong, too. You’ve protected yourself, but you’ve protected others as well. You risked your life to try to save Luna. You’re not a Dark mage. You shouldn’t live like one.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  Shireen sighed and looked away. “Alex, I was nineteen when I died. I didn’t live very long, and I made a lot of bad choices, and by the time I figured out which choices were the bad ones it was too late. I just want something good to come from it. I’ve tried with Rachel, but she won’t listen to me anymore. There’s still a bit of what we had inside her, but it’s so…twisted now that when I try, it just makes her angrier. You’re all that’s left. I don’t want everything I touched to be evil. Please.”

  I looked down at Shireen. “What do you want me to do?” I said at last.

  I saw Shireen close her eyes for a second, her shoulders going limp with relief. “The way out is in the mansion. It’s in Richard’s study. Walk towards the door. Once you step into the room, don’t turn aside for anything, no matter what you see. If you take even one step to the side, you’ll never be able to leave. You’ll be trapped there forever.”

  I nodded.

  “There’s one last thing. It’s a message for you. I had to go to a dragon to learn it. You have to remember it word for word.”

  I nodded again.

  “This was the message. ‘At the end, in the light of the stars, trust in your friends and forgo the greater power for the lesser.’ ”

  “ ‘Forgo the greater power for the lesser…’” I frowned. “That came from a dragon?”

  Shireen nodded. “I don’t know what it means, but I know it’s important. It cost me a lot. Don’t forget.”

  “I’ll make sure.” I looked at Shireen and felt a tug of odd feelings. “It really is you, isn’t it?”

  “No.”

  “But you…” I trailed off. Shireen was shaking her head, and there was something sad in her face.

  “I’m only a shadow,” Shireen said. “I can look like her and I can feel like her and I can think like her, but she’s gone. Soon I will be, too. I’ve only lasted this long because of her.”

  I looked at Shireen a moment longer. It was a strange feeling, looking at her through an adult’s eyes. I’d grown, but Shireen was still the same, frozen as she’d died. “I’m glad I could see you,” I said at last.

  Shireen smiled. “You’ll see her again. Sooner or later.”

  And with that, she was gone. All of a sudden, Elsewhere felt much emptier. I was alone in the empty city but for the mansion brooding behind me.

  I took a look around, then drew a breath. “All right,” I said to no one in particular. I walked up the steps to the mansion doors and pushed. They opened at my touch. I stepped inside and they swung shut behind me.

  Inside was utter blackness. Spots swam before my eyes after the brightness of the outside. I stood still for a long moment before lights started to appear, brightening ahead and above. As they grew stronger I saw that I was in the entrance hall. Magelights hung from the walls and ceiling, but they seemed dimmer than they should be. Shadows clung to the corners and beneath the tables and chairs.

  The mansion was silent, but it was a different silence than outside. Outside had felt empty; this was the silence of something watching and waiting. I wanted to freeze, stay still and hide. The first step was the hardest. The second was easier.

  As I walked, I heard whispers at the edge of hearing. The house was the same, but different. Doors that should have been there were missing, walls were bare or blurred, tables the wrong shape or size. This was the mansion my mind had rebuilt in my dreams. One part, though, was perfect: the door at the end of the first-floor corridor, the entrance to Richard’s study.

  I nearly stopped then. Even though I’d been awaiting it, that simple wooden door sent a stab of fear through me that made my limbs grow heavy, and I stumbled. Only the memories of Luna and Shireen kept me going. A little bit of me screamed and ran. The rest kept walking. I pushed the door open.

  The room inside was different from the rest of the mansion—it was clear and detailed, a perfect replica. A fire burned low in the fireplace, merging with the dim lights to shroud the room in gloom. The floor was covered in a thick, soft carpet, muffling sound so that it took me a second to realise that the fire made no noise. Books in shelves lined the walls. To the left was an oaken desk, covered with papers. My eyes flicked to the armchair behind the desk, but it was empty. A pen was laid upon a scattering of papers, its cap still off. Although the room was silent, it didn’t feel empty. It felt as though something were waiting for me.

  On the opposite wall, ten paces away, was another door. It was ajar just a crack, and a sliver of light spilled through. It was swallowed quickly in the gloom, but that patch before the door was the only light in the darkness. The sense of something watching was stronger, but the door was right there in front of me.

  I stepped forward, and—

  The schoolyard was damp and cold, grey skies a reminder of the rain already fallen and a sign of more to come. Despite the damp a scattering of teenagers were in the yard, boys bragging and laughing while girls looked on and giggled. One boy was standing apart, leaning against the wall, arms folded as he stared. He was in his midteens, with spiky black hair…and he was familiar, too familiar. Looking at him made me pause, confused. I knew him, but—

  Then all of a sudden it clicked into place. I was looking at myself, eleven years ago. The boy leaning against the wall was me, and the building looming into the grey sky was my last school. With a rush the memory came back. I remembered this day.

  Muffled footsteps on the concrete made my younger self look up. A man was approaching, an ordinary-looking man with an ordinary, forgettable face. The kind of man your eyes flick over without ever really noticing. “Hello Alex.”

  “What do you want?” my younger self said.

  “What do you want?”

  “I want to be somewhere else instead of in a school I hate with a bunch of bastards like them.” The younger me jerked his head towards the children in the yard.

  “Is that all?”

  “It’s a start.”

  “And then?” The man tilted his head slightly. “What if you could have anyt
hing at all? What do you really want?”

  My younger self looked up in surprise. He’d been play-acting, not expecting to be taken seriously. “Okay,” he said, and I knew he was paying attention. “What I really want? I want to be so powerful that I don’t have to care about idiots like them. I want to be so far above them they can’t even touch me. Can you get me that?”

  The man looked back at him and then suddenly smiled, an amused smile that didn’t touch his eyes. “Yes, I can.”

  The younger Alex stared at him. “Who are you?”

  “My name is Richard Drakh.” He kept smiling as he looked down. “But you can call me Master.”

  —my foot sank into the carpet. I looked from side to side, confused. The room was empty, quiet. But I hadn’t imagined it. That had been the day I’d met Richard for the first time, as real as when I’d been there. To one side, the fire burned; to the other, the chair sat empty. Cautiously, I took another step—

  The living room was warm and still. Richard was sitting in an armchair by the fire, and around him four children made a semicircle. The two girls were on the sofa, side by side. Shireen had been braiding Rachel’s hair and now was watching with a frown, while Rachel was wide-eyed and curious. The younger me was in a smaller armchair to one side. It was only a few weeks after that first meeting with Richard and I looked much the same. I was sitting with my feet curled up underneath me, and the position gave me an oddly childlike look that was out of place with my sharp eyes. And leaning against the mantelpiece, slightly apart from the others, was Tobruk, the firelight catching his whimsical smile.

  “The True Path is power,” Richard was saying. His voice was deep and magnetic, powerful; no one who heard him speak would ever think him ordinary again. All four of us were staring as though hypnotised, caught up in his words. “Power to build and power to destroy. You have your magic, but true power does not come merely from being born with the gift. True power comes from one place only: your inner self. Strength, determination, force of will: these are what distinguish a Dark mage, a True mage, from a dabbler. To be willing to rise higher or sink lower than your enemy, to know that no one is above you…that is the True Way. Your greatest enemies are fear and compassion. Both are weakness, and weakness is death.” Richard’s eyes swept slowly across the four of us: from Rachel to Shireen to Tobruk to me. “I do not expect all of you to succeed. Some will prove weak, in body or mind or will, and if you have a weakness I will find it. But those of you who earn the right to call yourself Dark mages, who become disciples of the True Way, will be power incarnate. Lessers will speak of you in fear and envy. No one will be able to stand against you, and your words will be as the voice of God.”

  The room was silent. Then Tobruk stirred. “When do we start?”

  “Now.”

  I was back in the study. Looking around, I saw I’d taken only two steps across the floor. I was seeing my life as Richard’s apprentice, a step at a time. I didn’t know how long had passed, but I knew I needed to keep moving. I stepped forward again—

  This time I was ready for the shift. I was looking at myself, Tobruk, Shireen, and Rachel, a few months later, back in the living room but without Richard this time, talking and planning. It was our first assignment and we were working together, but I didn’t listen to the voices this time; I made my body take another step forward.

  The scene blurred and steadied. Now we were outside, the setting sun painting the red rocks of a sandstone canyon. “This was your idea,” Tobruk was saying, bored.

  “But…” My face was uncertain, frowning. “We don’t need to do this.”

  “So?”

  My stomach twisted as I remembered what was about to happen. I didn’t want to watch this. Another step—

  The living room with the four of us again, but this time the cooperation was gone. Tobruk and I were arguing, Shireen chipping in. Tobruk’s dark eyes flashed as he talked over me, and Rachel watched doubtfully, looking between us. The door opened, cutting us all off, and—

  The visions came faster, blending into each other. Dissent and suspicion. Shireen and Rachel shifting step by step. Shireen angrier, Rachel desperate. My encounters with Lyle and the Council. Richard above it all, seemingly oblivious. Plots in the darkness. Deception, fear. Discovery.

  And then, suddenly, everything was steady. A younger me, maybe a year older than the first time, was standing in a corridor of dry, cold stone. Next to me was a girl, thin and barely able to stand, leaning on me with bloodstains on her tattered clothes. Both of us were staring at Richard, who was standing just a little way ahead, Shireen, Rachel, and Tobruk behind. “You knew?” I was saying, and I sounded stunned.

  “Oh, Alex,” Richard said. “Don’t confuse not knowing with not caring. I was willing to let you lie to me right up to the point where you disobeyed a direct order.”

  I saw my younger self lick his lips. “You don’t need her. There’s a way—”

  “It’s not about her. It’s about you.” Richard held out his hand and beckoned. “Give her to me.”

  The girl looked from Richard to me, eyes wide in fright. I hesitated.

  Richard sighed. “That, unfortunately, was your last chance.” He shook his head. “I warned you not all of you would make it. Tobruk?”

  Tobruk stepped forward with a grin. “Hey, Alex. Guess you’re not top of the class any longer.” He snapped his fingers and black fire ignited, leaping forward—

  I came down with a gasp. I was back in the study, but I’d crossed the floor. The door was in front of me, within touching distance. One more step and I’d be through.

  A voice spoke from my left. “Long time no see.”

  I knew who it was before I looked. Tobruk was leaning back in Richard’s chair, his feet propped up on the desk. He looked exactly as he’d been when I’d last seen him, a good-looking teenager with dark skin and a mobile, mischievous face. His mouth was smiling, like always. His eyes weren’t.

  “That’s not your seat,” I said at last.

  Tobruk grinned. “Richard’s through that door. Don’t worry, you’ll find him. All you have to do is step through.”

  I looked back for a second, then nodded. “Okay.” I started forward.

  “Oh look, what have we got here?” Tobruk pulled his feet off the table and reached down to drag a girl up by her hair. It was Shireen. Her eyes were closed, and she was breathing shallowly; cuts and scratches crisscrossed her face. Tobruk held her up long enough for me to see her, his fingers tangled in her hair, then tossed her forward to slump across the desk, her head hitting the wood with a thunk. “So what do you think I should do with her?”

  I stood still. “What if I burn some of her fingers off?” Tobruk asked. He shook his head. “Nah, that’d be a waste. I think I should screw her first. She always was a good lay.”

  “Stop it,” I said, my mouth dry.

  Tobruk grinned. He settled back into his chair and spread his arms wide, inviting. “Make me.”

  I wanted to dive for him. Instead I took a deep breath and fought the anger, controlling it. When I spoke at last, my voice was steady. “The only place I’m going is through this door.”

  “You think I care?” Tobruk shrugged. “You’re coming back sooner or later. Matter of fact, I kind of want you to run into Richard again.” He grinned again. “Course, if you want to speed things up…”

  I looked down at Shireen’s unconscious body. “What did she do to you?” I asked.

  “She didn’t do anything.” The grin vanished from Tobruk’s face and he leant forward over the desk at me, his eyes suddenly filled with hate. “I was going to be Richard’s Chosen. Two years of clawing to be better than the rest of you, and all for what? So you could stab me in the back like a coward. My whole life was a waste because of you! My whole life!” Suddenly Tobruk flashed into flame, becoming a skeleton wreathed in dark fire. It lasted only a second, and then he was human again. Smoke curled from the chair. Where his hands had been splayed on the desk, charre
d handprints were burnt into the wood.

  The two of us stared at each other. “I did a lot of things I shouldn’t have while I was here,” I said at last. “A lot of them I don’t like to think about. But you know what?” I held Tobruk’s gaze, dropping my mask, letting him see that I was telling the truth. “Killing you was the only thing I ever did from that time that I don’t regret at all.”

  Tobruk glared at me a second longer, then snorted and dropped back into the chair. “Yeah, whatever.”

  I turned to leave.

  “Oh, Alex?”

  I paused for a moment, then looked back.

  “Richard’s going to find you,” Tobruk said. He was smiling again. “When he wakes up he’s going to go looking for you. Then he’s going to find you and then he’s going to hurt you and then you’re going to die. And when you do, I’ll be waiting for you. Make sure you stay alive till then, Alex. I’ll be really disappointed if you let any of those guys kill you instead. I want to see your face when you meet him.” He gave a mocking wave. “Be seeing you.” He turned towards Shireen.

  I didn’t wait to see what he was going to do with her. I stepped through the door, pushing it open. There was a moment of blinding, unbearable light, then—

  My eyes snapped open into darkness. It was warm, and I was back on the bed in the room in Morden’s mansion. I looked quickly through the futures just to make sure that I was really back, then I got up. The lights in the room had gone out, and the fire was cold. Outside, starlight glinted off the leaves. I stood by the window for a while, looking out into the night, before returning to bed.

  chapter 11

  A lot of people think of captivity as something glamorous, but the truth is, being a prisoner is mostly just boring. No matter how sadistic the guy in control of you, he can’t focus on you twenty-four hours a day. He’s got other things to do, and while he’s busy, you’re going to be sitting alone. After a few weeks, it can get to the point where you almost welcome a visit, just for a little human interaction. When I’d been Richard’s prisoner I’d passed the time by practising divination; I couldn’t reach outside the walls, but I got to know every square inch of that room. I learnt some weird skills that way. Even now I can pick up anything from a pencil to a tennis ball and hit a target first time, every time, looking into the future to see exactly how I need to make the throw. If I ever give up being a diviner, I can always make a living playing darts.