One Wild Ride

by Elizabeth Lynx

  This man wanted me as much as I did him, and his views on not being with a cheap woman or whatever excuse he used looked like they were about to falter.

  I really hoped they crumbled.

  “You want me to grope you?” Alex asked with wide eyes.

  As much as I wanted this and much more, it was becoming frustrating. It seemed if I wanted him to touch my body in any way I would have to force him, and that was not okay. I may be a tiny woman and he may be a giant of a man, but I would never force anyone to do anything they didn’t want to.

  I lowered my hand. “I only want you to do what you want to do, Alex. If your physical attraction to me really disgusts you that much, then don’t do anything. I’m not an idiot, I saw your boner last night so don’t deny you’re attracted to me.”

  Wrapping my fingers around his arm I tried to pull his hand off my chest, but he wouldn’t move.

  “I never said I was disgusted with you, Aria, or what feelings I have for you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You said I was cheap.”

  Alex shook his head and puffed out a laugh. “No, I said I would never give you cheap. But what I have to give you might not like. You may run as far as you can from me. Then I would lose a chance to have your beautiful talent on my wall.”

  It seemed like Alex was about to say more but he stopped and dropped his hand from my chest.

  “Why would I run? Is it really tiny?” I said as I crinkled my nose.

  He dropped his eyes to the floor as his face grew pink. I thought it was cute that he embarrassed so easily.

  “I don’t think so.”

  I took a step back and focused my attention on his crotch. “Did you compare? Or maybe other women might have mentioned you were big? I have to warn you, if women have never mentioned your size before then it’s probably small.” I frowned and gave him a supportive slap on the arm.

  He raised his hand to his face, covering his eyes. “Why would I compare my penis with other guys?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I went over to the leather bench and sat. “I don’t know how guys are with each other. Maybe they compare length and girth?”

  Alex dropped his hand and came to sit next to me on the bench. Leaning over he lowered his voice. “So, do, uh . . . women compare . . . you know . . .?”

  A bit confused, I tilted my head but realized what he was talking about as his eyes dipped to my chest. “Boobs? Yes and no. Not how you think. It’s not like in porn where women get all grabby. Basically, we complain. Women with big boobs complain about back pain and finding a decent bra. While women more like me,” I waved a hand over my petite chest, “well, we complain about clothes that are supposed to show cleavage but just end up causing us to flash people. We are united on one thing though . . . bathing suits. All women, no matter what shape or size, all complain about bathing suits.”

  “Never thought of that. I guess I always imagined the porn part.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  “You never answered me, Alex.” I turned toward him, scooting an inch closer.

  “What?”

  “What have women said about your . . .” I waved my finger around his jean-covered cock.

  He straightened his back and stared at the wall. “Nothing. Women haven’t said anything about my, uh, penis before.”

  Crap. I had to ask. It’s not like a man with a small dick can’t be creative in other ways. I once slept with a guy with a small cock who give me multiple orgasms. He was very creative.

  I smiled and gave a swift pat on his leg. “Oh, well, I’m sure that doesn’t mean—”

  “But, then again, no woman has ever seen me naked,” Alex said.

  TEN

  Alexander

  “But this body?” Aria said waving her hands around me.

  I shouldn’t have told her about never being naked in front of a woman. Now, I’m going to have to explain why. That’s when I’ll lose her forever.

  Perhaps if I had kissed her last night or any of the other nights I had the chance, I would have gotten something before she left. Not left with a sad conversation about my penis and a look of horror on her face.

  “What about my body?” I said as I glanced down at the zipper on my jeans.

  Aria stood and I took in how beautiful she was—savored it because I knew it would be my last chance to admire her this close. She had an amazing purple sweater on that clung to her and all I wanted to do was peel it off.

  But that wasn’t going to happen.

  She knelt in front of me. “You have this beautiful, sexy body and you haven’t let women see it? Even covered up with your top and jeans I can tell it’s gorgeous underneath. What if I took all the art in your place and hid it away, saying you could never see it again? How would that make you feel?”

  “I’m not an object, Aria. Paintings are objects to be admired—a person is not,” I said, disappointed at her take on beauty and people.

  “You’re right, Alex. And I don’t mean any woman has the right to feel you up whenever they want, or that you should wear revealing clothing. What I meant is, if you are intimate with someone you should trust them enough to show them. Did you not trust them?”

  Aria tucked her legs under herself and sat on her haunches. Her soulful brown eyes wide, seeking answers. Answers I couldn’t give her.

  “Trust had nothing to do with it.” I shook my head. “Why are we talking about this, Aria? Why does this concern you anyway? These are my issues. You are here to paint my mural, not delve into my psyche.”

  I picked up the sketch pad and handed it to her. She took what I offered, sighing as she studied her drawing. Aria didn’t move and refused to lift her head. A minute crept by before her eyes rose, telling a story I was afraid to hear.

  “You’re right, Alex. I’m just your employee, here to do a job.” She stood and turned to face the wall.

  Gritting my teeth, I held onto everything that wanted to come out. Every detail of my life, of my frustration, and how she was the first person to get to know me that wasn’t controlled by my mother.

  I carried the weight but I had grown up learning how to hold that heavy burden. Aria was light and free—everything I wasn’t. Everything that drew me to her sweet splendor kept me from reaching out for more.

  I stood and walked up behind her. “I didn’t mean that—”

  She turned and all the warmth had drained from her eyes. “I know what you meant, Alex. Or would you prefer Mr. Hawthorne?”

  “I want you to call me Alex. Just because you work for me doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

  She covered her heart with the pad of paper, cradling it. “Like Bradley? No thank you, Alex. Despite what you think, my friendship can’t be bought. You may be used to paying people to be with you, but I have to be honest and tell you that’s not healthy. And I won’t contribute to that behavior.”

  Aria turned and headed toward the door of the bedroom. “Since you picked out the picture, it’s going to take me a few days to make a large mock up for your wall. I won’t be back until next week. Goodbye, Alex.”

  I watched her turn and walk down the hall before she disappeared.

  Damn.

  That wasn’t at all how it was supposed to go. I was stupid to think Aria would start to fall for me as she spent more time in this room near me. Like the mural was some aphrodisiac drawing us together. It’s as if I have the imagination and emotional maturity of a sixteen-year-old.

  And even if she fell for me, what would become of that? There was a battle being fought in my heart. Between life as it has always been and the risk of love. I wanted love to win and maybe that was why I tried to keep Aria near. Even though I knew at the end of whatever this was, life as I knew it would ultimately win.

  Because life before this mural involved my mother. And my mother always won.

  “Alex, can I speak with you?” Bradley appeared in the doorway.

  Perfect timing. The one man I considered a friend was also hired help.

&nb
sp; “Yes. What is it?”

  Perhaps whatever Bradley had to tell me might distract me from my invisible love life. It might even cheer me up. Even if he was an employee, Bradley was still nice and friendly.

  “It’s about Aria. Something happened when she came here this morning and I wanted you to know about it.” He took a step into my room but hesitated to move farther.

  “What happened?”

  “I know you like her, Alex, but as head of your security I must warn you.”

  “Okay . . .” I said a little confused.

  His eyes flickered up to the corner of the wall where the mural would go. I began removing some of the wallpaper yesterday but a few strips remained.

  “When she came in this morning, she went straight to the security room and walked inside. It’s as if she knew where it was and began looking around.”

  Why would she do that? There had to be a mistake.

  “Maybe she got lost and—” Before I could finish another voice cut me off.

  “Alexander, my beautiful boy, I am so glad you are here.” My mother’s deep voice caused everyone in the room to straighten.

  “Mom, what are you doing here?” I stood as she walked past Bradley and went straight to the wall.

  “Why, I’ve come to see the progress on your little mural. I have to be honest, Alexander, it looks terrible.”

  “Aria hasn’t started yet. I only picked out the picture today. As you can see, I am still tearing down the wallpaper.” I waved my hand at the two remaining strips on the wall.

  She gasped and swiftly walked over to me, taking my hands in hers. “Oh no. Tell me you didn’t rip that paper down yourself?”

  I shook my head. My mother and her spoiled ways. She believed manual labor was for the hired help, not for us.

  “Of course, I did it myself. It’s not that hard. You may revel in not ever having to lift a finger, but I’m not you.”

  She stood a little straighter and scoffed, “That is not something a Hawthorne does. Don’t you understand, Alexander? This name means something or I wouldn’t have put up with your father for as long as I did.”

  As much as I hated my mom’s views on work and privilege, she was right about my father. She did tolerate much at his hands.

  “I never asked you to stay with Dad.” I put my hands on her shoulders causing her brows to lift. “You should have left long ago. We would have been fine. Just the two of us.”

  In that moment, something passed over her eyes. It was gone as quickly as it came, but I witnessed it. Regret. Pain. A need so great I wondered if my arms were wide enough to hold it.

  As it disappeared, the mother I have come to know returned with her guarded and cold features. And I knew there was no point in getting her to understand anything.

  “That was long ago and your father is no longer with us. We never need to worry about him again.”

  She pulled away from my arms. My touch was warm and loving, and she couldn’t be reminded of something she no longer wanted.

  “So, the mural. I’m glad we are changing this wall. You were right, Alex, this did need something fresh.”

  “Alex, I’ll come back later so we can discuss Ms. Dixon.” Bradley nodded at me.

  “What about Ms. Dixon?” my mother asked without turning her head to acknowledge Bradley.

  Bradley’s eyes flickered to mine. He knew my mother almost as well as I did. She was the one to hire him five years ago. It was to keep me safe, as she put it. I don’t know why I would need a bodyguard since I rarely went outside.

  I think my mom only hired Bradley to keep an eye on me.

  “Ms. Dixon went into the security room when she arrived today, Mrs. Hawthorne. When I confronted her about it, she appeared nervous. I wanted Alex to know that.”

  “Mom, I think she just got lost.” I felt the need to defend Aria even though I didn’t know why she walked into the security room.

  “How could she have gotten into that room? Isn’t it locked, Bradley?” My mother turned to face him. Her dark wool blazer, tailored to her form, wrinkled as she crossed her arms.

  “I must have left it open when I went to the bathroom. I didn’t think anyone would walk in,” Bradley said as he wiped his head over his brow. He knew what was coming.

  What happened was a mistake and Bradley knew it. My mother detested mistakes.

  Her gray eyes locked onto Bradley. He seemed to straighten the closer she moved. But when she reached him, my mother did something she rarely does—she touched him.

  Her hand gently tapped his chest. “Thank you for letting us know, Bradley. I’m sure you weren’t expecting her to be here and didn’t think to close the door behind you. But now you know, don’t you? You know to keep a watchful eye,” my mother’s head turned toward me, “on people who don’t know us. Strangers only ever want to take from us. We need to keep our guard up.”

  Her mouth curved, and it reminded me of how she used to smile at me, before my father died. Back when she loved me.

  ELEVEN

  Aria

  “I wish Iwas going to London on Sunday,” I said just before I took a bite of my sausage.

  Morgana wasn’t kidding when she said Chuck’s Sausage Shack had the best sausages in Chicago. I laughed when she mentioned going there for her lunch break with me and Tiffany, but I admitted I was wrong. How I admitted it was through moans of satisfaction that had several people in the place turning to gaze at our table.

  “You’re not. Evaleen and I are so you can suck on that,” Morgana said with a smirk while pointing to my sausage.

  “Don’t rub the fact you get to jet off to London for your job in my face, Morgana. That’s rude.” I glanced over at Tiffany for backup but she was too engrossed in her sausage to care about us anymore.

  “No, I’m not. Seriously, suck on it. It brings out the juices,” Morgana said just before she brought the sausage to her lips and sucked on the tip.

  Most of the people in the restaurant turned to stare at us.

  “Why isn’t Evaleen joining us for lunch?” Tiffany asked as she put her food back on her plate. A smile of satisfaction spread across her lips.

  “She has a meeting with Edgar, the head of IT at Mimir. They are in the process of trying to hire someone in his department,” Morgana said.

  “We should have a SWIM Meet before you leave. How about tomorrow night? A special Saturday night SWIM Meet,” I suggested.

  My eyes roamed the restaurant. I kept expecting to find someone, but I didn’t know who. Ever since meeting Alex all those weeks ago, I haven’t felt comfortable in my own skin.

  I was frustrated and knew what I needed. Reaching up to my neck absently, I realized my good luck charm necklace wasn’t there. I never understood how often I fidgeted with the necklace until it was gone. I haven’t seen it in weeks and wondered if it fell off in a certain art collector’s bedroom.

  “I can’t. I’m having dinner with my parents Saturday night,” Morgana said.

  “I’ll go. David is much stronger since he’s been home from the hospital, and he’s making tremendous progress. I can ask Henrik to hang out with him. David will love that,” Tiffany said.

  I smiled at Tiffany’s happiness. She has worked so hard for that boy and he’s worked harder to walk than all of us combined. But, as happy as I was that Tiffany would be coming out tomorrow, I wanted a wing-woman. Someone who would help me find a guy to ease this frustration.

  “I’ll call Evaleen later, see if she might be interested.”

  I don’t know how much better Evaleen would be than Tiffany. Whereas Tiffany would probably okay any guy that showed me attention, as she has been out of the dating world far too long, Evaleen would also scare off all who showed interest.

  That’s why Morgana was perfect. I had known her since we were roommates in college. She had the ability to relax a guy into showing his true colors. Even the guys who had mastered the game would let down their guard around her.

  “Can you at least b
ring home some pictures of the guys in London? I need to live vicariously through you for a while, Morgana,” I said as I reached over to pat her hand.

  “I don’t know if I will be having any bangers and mash in London.” Morgana gave an exaggerated wink before continuing, “I have a coffee date on Sunday before my trip. If everything goes as I think it will with my date, it will be all business across the pond next week.”

  “Can you take pictures of your date then? Preferably naked,” I said and then bit into my pickle.

  “What about Alex? You told me you were working hard to . . . how did you put it? ‘Climb that mountain so you could reach his peak,’” Tiffany said before tossing a potato chip into her mouth.

  “What? Aria, you are working for a man’s affection?” Morgana’s asked.

  “No. Maybe. It doesn’t matter, anyway. He thinks I’m trash. I know he’s attracted to me but I’m just the hired help,” I said before I rolled my eyes.

  Morgana’s mouth dropped open as she stared at me.

  “What?” I said.

  “You said once that if you ever have to try to get a man to sleep with you that he wasn’t worth the effort and your vagina must have fallen out, so I should get you to a hospital right away.”

  Tiffany snorted and blushed.

  “Maybe that’s the problem. Alex’s sex superpowers are tingling, letting him know that my lady parts have withered away.”

  “Oh, Aria. Don’t talk like that. I’m sure your vagina is still young and vibrant and ready for a hundred Alex’s.” Tiffany reached over to rub my back.

  I know Tiffany meant well but having her say all that had me feeling like I was going to throw up.

  “Okay, since I’m not hungry anymore, let me go wash up in the bathroom. Thanks for the pep talk.” I stood and nodded at Tiffany.

  She smiled and took a sip of her water.

  After I left the table, I made my way to the back down a small hallway. Pushing open the door I was shocked at who I found standing at the sink putting on lipstick.