Secret Pleasures

by Cheryl Howe

  “I must see Robert and try to explain. Or at least beg for his forgiveness and understanding. He needs to know that I don’t plan to come between him and Arianna.”

  Robert Fitzgerald had more strength of character than Ivy would ever have. He would have nothing to do with such a sordid scheme. Darien would not only be losing her but the companionship of his nephew and closest confidant. Arianna, of course, would be heartbroken. Hopefully she and Darien would find solace with each other. In time, they might somehow create a real marriage for the sake of Melody and their own salvation. Ivy became lightheaded at the misery that thought caused.

  “I’ll return as soon as I can. Will you be all right?” Darien said quietly near her ear. He was standing entirely too close intentionally.

  “No,” Ivy whispered harshly.

  “Then come with me.” He glanced at Agatha, who continued to coo over Melody. “Facing Robert shall be a nightmare. And what if that girl is with him. I don’t know how she’s going to take facing me at the altar.”

  “Her name is Arianna. You must stop calling your future wife that girl. I’ll just fetch Melody.”

  “No. God, no.” He grabbed Ivy’s arm then dropped it as if the contact pained him. “Please. I won’t have her exposed to that—Arianna Maddox and her wretched father—until I’m sure of their reaction. No one will ever make Melody feel unwanted. She’ll be fine with Aggie. She is more a part of this family than I am.”

  Ivy strode to Agatha to ensure Melody’s comfort for herself. Melody had dozed off but still gripped Agatha’s withered finger.

  “She’s a strong, gal, she is. This wee one will keep her troublesome pa in line. You did a very fine job, madam. Very fine.”

  Ivy touched the tip of Melody’s head. Her fuzzy blond hair had been coming in honey brown. She had indeed gained her strength under Ivy’s careful ministrations. Her cheeks glowed with health, even gaining a roll or two on her delicate little limbs.

  “Thank you, Agatha. It gives me great peace to know she will be so well loved here.”

  “Are you coming?” called Darien from the door.

  The idea of leaving Melody a moment before she had to caused Ivy’s breath to leave her like a physical blow. She shook her head, pressing her lips together to keep them from trembling. If she had to answer Darien, her voice would surely break.

  “Very well, but please don’t leave this room until I return.”

  She nodded.

  “Promise me you won’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  She nodded dumbly again.

  “Say it,” he said huskily.

  “I promise I won’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  The door shut and Agatha kept on singing as if she hadn’t heard the pathetic exchange.

  Ivy took a deep breath to calm her shattered nerves.

  “I thought he’d never leave. Bloody love-sick swain. Bring that child over to me. I want to see who her father really is.” The hardened gravely voice was weak but his authoritarian tone had not quelled in the least. At least not with Ivy.

  Calming breaths were obviously a waste of time. The beast had awakened from the dead. Ivy wouldn’t be surprised if he were not on his deathbed at all but using this all as a ploy to control Darien. She plucked Melody from Agatha before she could struggle to her feet.

  Finally confronting the earl with something beyond his control had been the redemption Ivy had been waiting for. The chance that Diana had been waiting for. Ivy wagered the old man would immediately recognize Melody’s father’s eyes. But would he be able to guess her mother’s identity with a few brutally placed hints from Ivy?

  She reached the earl’s bedside and stared him straight in the eye. Though he lay flat on his back, he glared back using his will alone to try and intimidate her. He shifted, but it was clear he remained too ill to sit on his own. Agatha appeared suddenly to help Westhaven, arranging his pillows to lift him to a semi-seated position.

  “She’s a beauty, my lord. If only our Lady Westhaven had been here to see such a glorious sight. She might have lived forever then, eh?”

  The earl grunted and held out thin hands to Melody. Ivy knew rationally that he was a grieving father, not the actual devil, or an evil troll. Even so, she found herself unable to hand over her daughter to the man who had so cruelly destroyed her life over and over again.

  “Why your lordship, you never held your own littl’uns.” Agatha laughed with sheer delight.

  “Agatha would you be so good as to open the windows. I so want his lordship to appreciate the shape of his granddaughter’s eyes. I’ll assist him in holding his grandchild.” His lordship glared at Ivy and she glared back.

  “Yes, mum. Certainly, mum.” Agatha shuffled off, apparently thrilled to be given a direct order. She fetched a cane from somewhere and thumped across the floor.

  Ivy eased onto the bed, noticing how the earl tensed as her weight hit the mattress. A bit of color retuned to Westhaven’s cheeks while Ivy treated him like a complete invalid. She laid Melody against his night-shirted chest and wrapped his awkward arms around Melody.

  She gave out a curdling squeal followed by a shriek of what could only be described as joy. She pumped her arms and fists. The earl’s eyes widened in a mix of something between wonder and horror.

  “She’s not going to soil herself, is she?” said the earl gruffly.

  “She hasn’t actually ever laughed quite like that before,” said Ivy, smiling at the excitement in Melody’s face. She kicked her feet again and gurgled, her expression showed how pleased she was with herself. How many other first things would Ivy miss? Too many to count.

  She tried to harden her features, turning to the earl, trying to think of something hurtful to say. Perhaps about the color of Melody’s hair that no longer matched Diana’s. But her nose, her pixie nose, that was pure…

  The earl’s eyes grew bleary and he didn’t seem capable of blinking away the tears that coated the piercing steel blue. Melody’s squeals ceased abruptly. She studied Westhaven with her feathery eyebrows drawn together. Her lower lip had curled under.

  “My lord, you are upsetting Melody. Please relax your grip and try to not look at her like you wish to turn her to stone.” Ivy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, while trying not to think about touching him under any circumstances. With her other hand, she caressed Melody’s soft head and suddenly would not dream of mentioning the unique golden gleam of her fine baby hair.

  “Do you recognize the dark eyes of a Blackmore?”

  “She has Darien’s mother’s eyes, as does Lily. Philip was the only one that favored me in appearance or temperament.” The earl sighed. “But he had been tender hearted like his mother and the rest of them.”

  “God bless his soul,” whispered Agatha from the other side of the bed.

  “I never meant to hurt you.” The earl’s words were so quiet and unexpected, Ivy tilted her head, unsure of what she had heard. “Perhaps I was wrong about you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I could do nothing then, and I can do even less now.”

  “You’ll be on your feet soon, my lord. Just a bad spell is all.” Agatha leaned heavily on her cane.

  “Please add some more coal to the fire, Aggie. And you may sit in the red chair to keep the fire stoked for my granddaughter. We shall call you if we need you. I wish to have a private conversation with my granddaughter’s mother.”

  “Yes my, lord.” Agatha wandered over to the fire and rustled the embers, then collapsed in a heavily padded leather chair already draped with a plaid blanket, her feet landing on the matching ottoman.

  Ivy tried to harden herself from any softening.

  “I have ordered another ten thousand pounds for your account. I’m sure Darien will provide for you generously, but I wish to show you my gratitude as well.”

  Ivy felt ill, but she had come too far to be stupid over pride. Melody would be a very rich woman in her own right someday. How sad Melody would never know the two women in
her life that gave so much to ensure her well-being. But that was the gift Diana had willed her daughter and Ivy would have to do the same.

  “You are too kind. It will serve me well in America. I find I can’t hand over my daughter and live in the shadows of her life.”

  He broke his fascinated gaze from Melody to gape at Ivy. “Darien can’t prop up this family without you. He’ll drink too much and act horribly.”

  “He won’t. He has Melody to think of now. Darien understands that there is no one else to steer the family fortune and protect his brother’s memory.”

  “I wish I could have accepted my children as they were no matter the conditions. But I was an arrogant fool. I never expected you to be a woman who would abandon her daughter, though. No matter the circumstances.”

  “It is not for myself that I leave but for Melody.” Ivy blinked several times to clear her vision, both stunned and enraged that he would question her devotion. “My name is tied to scandal.”

  The earl grunted. “Everyone’s tied to scandal.”

  The bedroom door swung open.

  “Not everyone, my lord. Only those who murdered their son.”

  She turned at the sound of Collin Jacobson’s voice but her gaze collided with that of Henry Maddox. Jacobson towered behind him. Maddox was shoved into the room and Ivy spotted the weapon in Jacobson’s hand. He closed the door and fumbled for a lock, but found none. Without taking his gaze from Maddox for more than a moment, he leaned against the door and pointed a musket at the room in general.

  “No one shall leave here alive unless I find out exactly what happened to Philip. The truth, this time.”

  Maddox will be a bother, but I know things he’d rather not reveal, so don’t let him intimidate you, as if that were possible.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Darien quietly slipped into Robert’s sickroom without knocking, not wanting to wake his nephew if he were sleeping. Inside, all curtains had been flung open, allowing the room to be flooded with harsh afternoon light. Five pairs of angry eyes glared in his direction. Darien feared he had stumbled upon his own firing squad.

  Robert sat up in bed, his hair looking hastily combed. Arianna stood at the far end, supported by her mother. Lily and Rand held posts at either side of their son. Before Arianna abruptly swung around to face Robert, dismissing Darien, he noticed his bride-to-be had been sobbing uncontrollably. Even his sister rolled her eyes in disgust at the sight of him.

  Darien tried to swallow the anchor-shaped misery stuck in his throat.

  “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you glaring at me, nephew.”

  “I’ll perform the ceremony. Considering the change in circumstances, everyone has agreed to postpone the wedding until tomorrow morning. I should be capable by then, my lord.” Robert stared at Darien as if he were a stranger.

  “I’m sure that won’t be necessary.” Darien shoved his hands in his pockets, but squared his shoulders. He must assume that Robert was treating him so deferentially for The Maddox women’s benefit. Any other reason would be unbearable.

  Darien nodded to Mrs. Maddox and tried not to consider that they would all soon be related by law. “I believe Mr. Maddox has summoned a bishop from London.”

  Mrs. Maddox acknowledged Darien with a strained half-smile but said nothing.

  “Arianna insists that Robert perform the ceremony,” Lily said, at least trying to sound pleasant through clenched teeth.

  “Perhaps if Miss Maddox and I discuss this privately, we might come to a more agreeable arrangement.” Darien spoke to the girl’s back. Her mother put her arm gently around her daughter’s shoulder. Just when Darien thought Arianna would ignore him all together, she shrugged off her mother and whirled to face him.

  “If Robert expects me to submit to marrying …” Arianna had the good grace to drop her gaze, “his uncle, then he can bloody well perform the bloody ceremony.”

  “Arianna,” scolded her mother. “That is no way to speak to Lord Blackmore.”

  Dear God. Darien rubbed his forehead, desperately needing a shot of whiskey. But he knew this would be the exact wrong time to give into blind abandon. If he allowed himself the slightest indulgence, he’d never be able to go along with any of this himself.

  Robert frowned deeply. Arianna paled.

  Uncomfortable silence strangled the air from the room while Darien considered something to say that would ease all their minds or at least take control of the bloody situation. Damn it all, he didn’t have time for any of this. He wasn’t used to playing the authoritarian bully.

  “Miss Maddox. Please, just a moment of your time. I believe your patient could use some rest.”

  She glanced back at Robert. Their gazes met. Robert’s expression remained blank. Unfortunately, he could not seem to maintain the façade. He closed his eyes and laid his head back on the bank of pillows supporting him. Arianna abruptly turned to face Darien. Unchecked tears streamed down her face. She nodded curtly to Darien then swiftly left the room, slamming the door on her exit.

  Darien spared one last glance at Robert. His nephew stared at the closed door and then at Darien. He could see the first signs of hatred in Robert’s haggard gaze that would surely grow and fester over the years.

  “Arianna will be waiting for you in the hall, Lord Blackmore.” Mrs. Maddox bowed and rushed after her daughter.

  “We shall talk later, when you are feeling better.” Darien approached the bed, wanting to say more but knowing from experience that Robert would need time to adjust to the unfairness of it all.

  “I believe this will probably be as good as I will ever be.”

  “You are lucky to be alive, Robert.” Lily poured water from a pitcher and offered a crockery cup to Robert. “You have your whole life ahead of you. I know right now it seems—”

  “I’m tired,” Robert said, cutting his mother off. He tried to turn over, to turn his back on all of them but a slash of pain cut across his features. Darien, his sister, and her husband all rushed toward him. He glared at all three of them, stopping them in their tracks. “Leave me be!” he yelled. Robert had never been one to raise his voice and Darien hoped this wasn’t a sign of things to come.

  “Just let me help you and then we shall all leave you to your rest,” Lily insisted. “Go on, you two. Darien has much to do and you, my dear, must help him.”

  “I’ll help him, love. I’ll definitely help him.” For some reason his brother-in-law grabbed his arm and dragged him to the door. Though the major had aged, it was immediately obvious the life-long soldier could easily toss Darien from the room. Rand lifted Darien to his toes, digging his fingers into his arm and twisting most uncomfortably. Darien did not fight against his hold, sure he deserved to be roughly treated, though he wasn’t quite sure of his current crime.

  “May I remind you, Major Fitzgerald, that my brother will soon be the Earl of Westhaven, and our son’s greatest patron. Not to mention the man who shall introduce our girls to London society and provide the proper dowry for smashing marriages for all three of them. Nothing we ask of him will be too much for my dear brother to accommodate.”

  Rand released him, practically throwing him to the polished hard-wood floor. “How about letting a confessed murderer go free? He didn’t deliver then, did he?”

  Darien rubbed his arm and looked at Lily. “I didn’t let him go free. He escaped. And Rand will have to do a hell of a lot more arm twisting if you expect me to pony all those girls of yours to an endless stream of balls.”

  “I wasn’t murdered, Father, and right now, all I want to do is forget that I ever woke up.”

  Lily stiffened and tried valiantly to blink back tears. She quickly turned to the curtains and fussed with the blinds. Rand glared at Darien and motioned with his head toward the door. Unfortunately, Darien’s company wasn’t any more welcome outside Robert’s room.

  Arianna sat on a padded bench. Glaring light from the dozen floor–to-ceiling windows showed her face swollen and
dappled red, but her eyes were at least dry. Her mother sat beside her with a firm hand on her shoulder, as if she were holding the girl in place.

  “Robert would have been murdered if not for the will of that lass.” Rand nodded to Arianna, then turned back to Darien. “If I catch that Jacobson fellow, and I am not done hunting for him by any means, I intend to kill him.”

  Major Fitzgerald marched over to Arianna and her mother to gallantly bow. “Thank you, Miss Maddox. Our family is truly in your debt. I shall always be at your disposal if you have need of me.”

  Arianna nodded but her eyes brimmed with fresh tears and her lip wobbled. Rand gave Darien one last significant glance then strode down the hall.

  Dear God. Perhaps he should just return immediately to Ivy. He needed her more than ever. But first he must know how Arianna truly felt about his daughter. And Ivy. Because a part of his mind had not accepted that she had a right to leave and if he could get this chit to help him…

  “May I speak to Miss Maddox alone? I need to return to the earl’s bedside at once.”

  “Perhaps, I should stay,” said Mrs. Maddox softly. “It’s been such a harrowing day.”

  “No, Mother. Mr. Blackmore and I should speak alone.”

  Mrs. Maddox patted her daughter’s hand, then found her way down the long hall and disappeared down the massive staircase. Arianna stared at him coldly. Darien dare not sit in the narrow space beside the girl.

  Curse it all. He remained standing, towering over her like the threatening ogre she most likely expected him to be.

  “You can accept Melody as your own?” he blurted out, just getting to the bloody important part.

  “What of Ivy? What of two nights ago?” she said through clenched teeth.

  “What of two nights ago? I don’t know of anything of significance that occurred two nights ago.” Darien cleared his throat, wanted to tell her bluntly that he didn’t care who she bedded, but stopped himself. “Miss Maddox, Arianna, I did not make this unholy alliance but I find I must carry it out, as do you. We are both sacrificing much.”