Jane Blonde: Spies Trouble

by Jill Marshall

  ‘We will be too late! ’Urry!’ hissed the little running figure.

  Paulette! She too had taken off towards a small building at the edge of the dam. The rats swarmed around her feet like eels on a river bed.

  The third set of headlights was still too far away for Janey to worry about right now. If she waited to see who it was, she would lose Abe Rownigan and Paulette. She got to her feet silently and hauled out her SPIV as she began to tiptoe towards the small building. ‘G-Mamma! They’re together – Abe and Paulette. They’re heading for some kind of shed near the dam. I’m going in.’

  Without waiting for a reply, Janey dropped the SPIV back against her chest and ran around the edge of the reservoir. Chalk flew up in puffs around her ankles. There was a bang as the door to the shed was thrown back on its hinges; for a moment she could see Abe Rownigan silhouetted in the doorway, then he ducked down and disappeared from view. Paulette and the rats screeched through the very same doorway seconds later.

  ‘Bingo!’ said Janey. Now she could simply lock them in and call for back-up.

  She crept into the bushes beside the shed. Behind her a car engine started up. Janey stood cautiously, tiptoed forward to the edge of the shed and chanced a look in the window. The engine sounds were louder here; Janey could see that the building was like the wheelhouse for a watermill. Levers and handles rose from the floor, and the ground vibrated with pulses of energy from the millions of tonnes of water trapped behind the dam.

  Just as she pushed the door into place Janey realized that someone was missing. Abe Rownigan was no longer in the shed! He must have rounded back on himself to catch her. She was interrupted by a deafening screech of brakes and turned to find herself spot-lit against the side of the shed by the full beam of an enormous set of headlights.

  ‘Aargh!’ Janey tried to shield her eyes and step to the side but the lights swivelled, following her relentlessly.

  A hideous metallic laugh emanated from the car. On hearing it, Paulette came out of the shed. ‘Janey!’ She sounded very surprised.

  As Janey turned the car revved. Ahead of her were Paulette, the water rats and the edge of the dam, and behind her was the Sun King, with shafts of moonlight reflecting off his metal mask.

  Once again the vile robotic laugh rose into the air, louder and louder. ‘Did you think you would trap my little spy-rat friends, Blonde? Aren’t you the one who is trapped? Just a poor little rabbit, snared in the headlights.’ The Sun King started to chant. ‘Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run. Just give the farmer his fun, fun, fun. Rabbit pie, Blonde, that’s what the farmer makes. Although there’s not enough meat on you to make much of a dish.’

  ‘What do you want?’ yelled Janey. ‘I’ve told you everything I know.’

  ‘We want the organ-grinder, Blonde, not the monkey,’ snarled the mechanical voice. ‘You told us how to turn the water rats back into humans. Now we want the surgeon who can carry out the operation.’

  Janey laughed, sounding braver than she felt. ‘You know Solomon has gone underground again. I’m not even sure he’s alive. You’ll never be able to turn the rats back into humans, so you’ll never learn the secret to a cat’s nine lives. You’ll die, just like everybody else.’

  At this the robotic voice rose to a shriek. ‘I am the Sun King, Blonde! The Sun King. The centre of the universe! I can never die. But you can. If we threaten your life, the mastermind behind it all will come to save you. And if he doesn’t . . .’

  Janey gulped. Far from baiting Abe Rownigan into revealing himself, she’d turned into bait herself. Now Abe had disappeared – and she still didn’t know how he was involved. At least Abe isn’t the Sun King, she thought – but it was little consolation. She looked around desperately. The Sun King’s car was edging forward. Paulette and the rats were right behind her, closing in.

  There was only one way to go. Up. Janey turned around so she was facing Paulette and the shed beyond – and jumped. The Fleet-feet exploded and she shot upwards, arching over the top of Paulette and her rat cronies. Quick as a flash, Janey ran into the shed and bolted the door behind her.

  Paulette’s face screwed up with rage. Janey saw her bark some directions at the rats. Immediately they slithered around the side of the building and fanned out along the top of the dam. There was no escape.

  The solution came to her in a flash. She was standing next to the gear shafts that operated the dam. If she could open the floodgates a little, the rats would be caught up in the fast-running water. She chose one of the tall metal shafts at random, gripped it with her Girl-gauntlet and gave a mighty heave. It shifted, slowly at first, and then with a sudden swing. The huge gear wheels filled the air with a metallic noise even more horrific than the chanting of the Sun King. A gurgle and swish in the water beside them grew to a rumble, and Janey turned to look through the window. The first plume of water cascaded over the edge of the dam. It was opening. All along the top of the dam water was spurting, diving, plunging into the reservoir below. Janey watched as, one by one, the water rats struggled to keep a grip on the slippery top of the dam. Then they plummeted over the edge.

  Just then she noticed something else – a tall figure trying to stand up on the dam as water rushed beneath his feet. Abe Rownigan. Janey gasped. But she had no time to worry about Abe. The Sun King’s car had advanced on the shed and kept pushing, intent on toppling it. As it creaked and leaned drunkenly over the edge of the dam, the water thundered like Niagara Falls into the blackness. When a large crack appeared in the side of the shed Janey grabbed her ASPIC and clambered through it to hover barely centimetres above the churning water tumbling over the edge of the dam.

  She acted instinctively, digging a heel into the board. She looked back one last time – and realized three things. The Sun King had driven away; Abe Rownigan, who had been running along the walkway on top of the dam towards her, had missed his footing and been slammed straight over the side; and the shed, which had been teetering on the brink of collapse, had now disintegrated and was toppling over the dam, dragging with it a small car that had raced up in the last few seconds, identifiable only by the dustpan and mop sticking out of its roof.

  ‘No!’ screamed Janey. In horror, Jane Blonde toppled into the deluge, under a million tonnes of gurgling water.

  spi-fly

  Crushed by the weight of water cascading down on her head, Janey writhed and spun with the ASPIC still suctioned on to her feet. Every part of her felt dislocated and possessed by some evil spirit: her hand would suddenly fly into her face, or her bony knees into her chest. She managed to grab her SPIder, but the force of the water drove her hand downwards, away from her mouth.

  It was hopeless. She tried one last time to shove the SPIder between her teeth, but succeeded only in tugging at the tiny diamond ribbon on the bottom of her kite brooch. She was going to die. A black muggy cloud descended over her. Strangely enough she almost felt tranquil, and then she remembered that people who have nearly drowned often say that there is a moment of true calm. Any moment now she would see a bright light at the end of a tunnel and find herself floating towards it.

  And there it was – the tug of an angel as Janey’s life ebbed away. She was being pulled up through the water by silken wings, beating their way upwards and across the torrent with such force that she had to hold on to the angel’s fingers as hard as she could. Janey’s eyes closed as the sweet pull dragged her . . .

  Then she opened her eyes again. She had definitely just breathed in some air! And these were not angel’s wings but a great white sail that had anchored itself between her feet on the ASPIC while her hands held a crossbar that was keeping the sail upright.

  ‘It can’t be!’ she gasped. ‘This crossbar looks like . . . the pin on my brooch!’

  She dared to look around. She was still racing down the side of the dam, but now she seemed to be sailing across the surface of the water instead of tumbling under it. Far behind her she could see slivers of wood bouncing through the spray, and
the unmistakeable sloganed car door of a Clean Jean van.

  Janey tilted her weight to the tail end of the ASPIC, instinctively leaning back on the crossbar and swinging the enormous sail around, away from the thundering water. Without warning she was lifted a couple of metres into the air, then used the sail’s momentum to hurtle back across the dam, traversing the water like an Olympic skier slaloming down a vertical run. Several times she leaped and turned, until soon she was able to kite-surf across the surging waters at the base of the dam, chancing a somersault as a large wave rose to meet her. The ASPIC came to a shuddering stop above the roof of the Clean Jean van.

  ‘Mum?’ she called, kneeling on the board and peering in as far as she dared. ‘G-Mamma?’

  Both doors had been ripped off, and the little van was empty apart from buckets and a couple of dishcloths. Had the driver been able to jump out and save themselves – or had the water sucked them from the car?

  ‘What have I done?’ Janey whispered.

  She could not bear it. Every time she had tried to be clever she had put herself and other people into danger. And now she was practically a murderer too. Janey was no less of an evil monster than the Sun King.

  Feeling sick, she pointed the sail towards the edge of the lake and made her way, bucking and bouncing across the waves, to the shore. As the ASPIC hovered across the fine chalk-white sand, Janey jumped off, letting the sail sink to the floor. As it hit the sand it instantly started to fold from the top. The bar she had been holding slid in on itself like a telescope until it was the size of a brooch pin again. Meanwhile the sail concertinaed into a series of diamond shapes, folding in half repeatedly until it rested back on the pin, just a little gold kite brooch.

  Soberly Janey pinned it back on. Abraham Rownigan had given her this brooch, and it had saved her. Why would an enemy do such a thing? Had she managed to kill a friend, not a foe, while allowing the real villains – the Sun King and Paulette – to escape? Janey would have liked to weep, wail and thrash her legs on the floor, but after a few moments she sat up with the very strong sense that she was not alone. A rustle in the trees confirmed her suspicion; instantly Janey was on her feet, brandishing her Girl-gauntlet.

  ‘Put your glove down, Blonde. Do you want everyone to see? Have I taught you nothing?’

  ‘G-Mamma!’ Janey didn’t care who saw as she ran into the bushes to where her SPI:KE lay, wet and with smeared make-up, but most definitely alive. ‘Was Mum in the van too?’

  ‘Nope. Tucked up at home watching CSI,’ panted G-Mamma.

  Janey threw her arms around her SPI:KE. ‘I didn’t kill you!’

  ‘Nice try though,’ coughed G-Mamma. ‘I thought I was a dodo when I set off from that great height like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, only without the wings.’

  ‘How did you escape?’

  G-Mamma spat delicately, and a fluorescent orange SPIder flopped out of her mouth into the undergrowth. ‘I had time to chew my SPIder as I flew through the air, then when we hit the water I kicked the doors out and used a couple of mops as paddles. Rowed as far as I could, then swam the rest of the way. I am pooped!’

  ‘G-Mamma, that was sheer brilliance!’

  ‘Well, I came hightailing it after you because you said Paulette and Abe were together. I thought you might need assistance.’

  ‘I got it wrong. I’m pretty sure Abe and Paulette weren’t together. He went over the dam. It was the Sun King driving that big black car.’

  ‘Well, when I saw what was going on at that shed I had to try to ram that black monster,’ said G-Mamma. ‘Then I suddenly found myself taking off. But I wasn’t the only one. Look.’

  Janey followed her finger and gasped. A small raft, made out of debris from the demolished shed, was floating away across the lake. The rats’ wet pelts glistened in the moonlight.

  ‘How do they do it?’ asked G-Mamma.

  ‘I don’t know, but they do look a bit battered, don’t they? Maybe they’re running out of lives. And why aren’t they just swimming – they’re water rats, aren’t they?’ Janey watched them with narrowed eyes and suddenly remembered something. ‘Come on, G-Mamma, we’ve got to get back to your Spylab.’

  ‘Are you suggesting I walk in these heels? You destroyed your mum’s little Clean Jean machine.’

  ‘We’ll have to take Abe’s car,’ said Janey. ‘Quick.’

  G-Mamma rode the ASPIC, and Janey Fleet-footed around the lake and up through the forest to the car park. Once G-Mamma had hot-wired the Daimler and positioned herself lovingly behind the steering wheel, SPI:KE and Spylet raced off into the night.

  ‘There,’ said Janey back in G-Mamma’s Spylab, pointing to the photograph. ‘Alfie took it by mistake when he was trying to stun-gas the water rat at Sunny Jim’s Swims on Thursday.’ One of the water rats was curled round in a ball, protecting itself from a heavy landing.

  G-Mamma pressed her nose against the computer screen. ‘Why’s it all slimy-looking? Hmm. Well, it looks as though it didn’t hit the ground properly. It’s swivelling round to land feet first. That could be the secret. You know cats always land feet first.’ She peered around the Spylab. ‘There you are,’ she said. ‘Come on, Twubbly Wubbly. I want to try something.’

  Trouble leaped on to the countertop, expecting his usual helping of cuddles and petting, only to find himself brushed off it again by a well-padded arm. He landed lightly on all four of his mini-lion paws and stalked off angrily with his tail in the air.

  ‘See, did you notice? He turned over and landed on all fours.’ G-Mamma beamed at Janey.

  ‘But the water rat in the picture isn’t on all fours. It’s curled up in a ball. A shiny ball. Why’s it all shiny like that?’

  G-Mamma shrugged. ‘We’re going to have to find out pronto-monto. What good is an evil spy that you can’t get rid of? Oh, sounds like a car outside.’

  Janey scurried to the blind-covered window and peeked between the slats. ‘Someone’s pulling up in a Clean Jean van. Two people: one short, one tall. Cleaners, I suppose. They’re getting out. Now they’re walking to Abe Rownigan’s car. They’re getting in. There’s some sort of argument going on. Right, the tall one seems to have won. They’re driving . . . G-Mamma! They’re driving it away! Quick!’

  ‘Stop panicking, Blonde. I arranged it all,’ said G-Mamma. ‘We couldn’t let your mum know we’ve ruined her precious van, could we? I got a replacement. And what if Abe Rownigan is currently reporting his car missing and it’s found here? Just covering our tracks, Girly-girl. The agent is driving the Daimler back to the car park at the reservoir.’

  Janey giggled. ‘Oh! I’ve just realized who it was. That was Alfie trying to drive the Daimler.’

  ‘Might have been,’ said G-Mamma, trying to look mysterious. ‘Crazy driver, that Al Halo.’

  Takes one to know one, thought Janey.

  G-Mamma pointed to the super-sized SPIV, which showed that Jean’s bedroom door was starting to open. ‘Brekkie time for Blondey. See if Paulette’s at school and don’t take your eyes off her if she is. Check in later.’

  Janey pushed through the tunnel and came to an ungainly stop on the carpet next to her bed. The bedroom door creaked open just as the SPI panel closed behind her.

  ‘You didn’t sleep there all night, did you?’ said Janey’s mother.

  ‘No. Yoga!’ said Janey, waving her legs around and pointing her toes.

  Jean Brown folded herself gracefully to the floor and took hold of Janey’s hand. ‘I don’t suppose either of us slept too well after last night. I’m sorry, Janey.’

  ‘I’m sorry, too. You don’t hate me then?’ said Janey quietly.

  ‘I love you, silly.’ Her mother got to her feet with the same balletic elegance with which she’d sat down. ‘And you’re quite right. I’m rushing things with Abe . . . with Mr Rownigan. From now on it’s strictly business.’

  Janey wished it could be just business for her too, but she had to go to school. She was still thinking things through when she go
t the message to meet Alfie and his mother in the headmistress’s office.

  ‘Paulette is absent today,’ said Mrs Halliday. ‘No big surprise after last night. So what are we going to do about Abe Rownigan?’

  ‘We have to find his body,’ said Janey. ‘He gave me a SPI-buy that saved my life. We have to find out exactly who he is. Maybe he gave me the SPI-Pod so he could keep tracks on me – and help me. He might even have information on my dad.’

  Mrs Halliday rubbed her hands briskly. ‘I’ll make some calls. You two go to the reservoir and see what you can find.’

  The Spylets nodded and left the school quickly. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t trust your instincts about Paulette. I won’t let you down again, Janey. Give me two minutes to Wower, yeah?’ said Alfie.

  ‘It’s all right, Al. I didn’t exactly have much proof before. Now, get changed – quick. I’ve got my SPIsuit on under my uniform.’

  Janey waited impatiently in Alfie’s room as he Wowed down in the Hallidays’ Spylab. After a couple of minutes Al Halo entered the room, smart and competent-looking in his denim SPIsuit and silver-framed Ultra-gogs. He pulled a blue ASPIC from a cupboard and fastened it on. ‘Which way shall we go?’

  Janey pulled a face. ‘The underground route. I reckon the pipes must lead to the reservoir, and we can’t chance being seen. Have you got a SPIder?’

  Alfie showed her the gum he was putting in his pocket. ‘Off we go then. Down the sewers. Nice.’

  He led her to the manhole behind his house and tugged the metal cover aside. ‘Which way, Blonde?’

  ‘Map. Reservoir,’ said Janey to her Ultra-gogs. Images flickered before her eyes, the pictures getting bigger and more detailed until there was a tiny beep, and a red light appeared over a photograph of the reservoir. ‘This way,’ she pointed. ‘Follow me.’

  With Alfie just behind her, Janey zipped through the pipes, bending almost double in places.

  ‘The Ultra-gogs show we’re just under Quarry Road. Nearly there . . . Aha! Let’s slow down,’ said Janey. ‘I can see daylight ahead.’