Secrets Told

by Allie Everhart

  My phone rings and I answer it. "Hello?"

  "Gavin, it's Linda Steiland. I don't know if you remember me but I worked on your father's campaign. I did a lot of the marketing."

  Linda was always at my dad's fundraisers so I've seen her a lot, but didn't talk to her much. She's in her forties and a single mom.

  "Yes, I remember. How are you?"

  "Good. I'm working for a hospital now in the PR department."

  "That's great. Sounds like a good job."

  "It's fine, but I liked the campaign work better." She pauses. "Anyway, I'm calling because I have a box to give you. Sharon, one of the campaign workers, cleaned out your father's office last year and boxed up his things but never did anything with them. I ran into her last week and she asked if she should toss out the box. I told her I'd take it and get it to you. She's moving to Florida so she didn't have time to call you herself. Anyway, I didn't go through it all but it appears to be mostly office supplies, along with a few family photos. Would you like to come pick it up?"

  "Yeah. Where do you live?"

  "I have it here at work. Sharon dropped it off. Is there any way you could stop by today?"

  "Sure. Just tell me where to go."

  She gives me the address and a half hour later I find myself on the second floor of a hospital in the PR department.

  "Can I help you?" a woman asks. I turn and see Linda there. She smiles. "Gavin. I didn't expect to see you so soon."

  "I had some down time at work so I thought I'd just come over now."

  "Well, let me get it for you." She goes in her office and comes back with a cardboard box. "It's kind of heavy. You may want to clean out what you don't want before you lug it through the city. You can go in the conference room if you'd like. I can donate whatever you don't want."

  "Okay, thanks." I take the box into the conference room, setting it on the table. I pull out a stapler and some notepads and an electric pencil sharpener. I'm not sure why Sharon kept this stuff. She could've just tossed it out or donated it.

  I dump what's left in the box onto the table and spread everything out so I can make a keep pile and a toss pile. It's mostly old office supplies so almost everything ends up in the toss pile except for the few family photos. I check the box again to make sure I got everything. At the very bottom, stuck under the cardboard flap, I see a piece of paper that's been folded several times. I pull on it and a key slips out. Engraved on it are the words Kendal Properties.

  I pick up the piece of paper and unfold it. I see my dad's handwriting and a sadness comes over me. I was doing okay until now but his handwriting is a trigger. It always makes me sad. It makes me think he's still here, even though he's gone.

  My dad's handwriting has always been hard to read. My mom and I used to make a game out of trying to decipher what he wrote. My dad would pretend to be annoyed while my mom and I tried to read his scribbling. The things we came up with never made sense and we'd all end up laughing. I miss those times.

  I set the piece of paper on the table and smooth out the creases. There isn't much written on it. Just some random notes. Maybe he was making a to-do list. He did that a lot because he tended to forget things.

  As I start to decipher his words, I see it's not a to-do list. It's a note to someone.

  My dear... it starts, but I can't read the name after it. It's not my mom's name, which is odd because he didn't use 'dear' with anyone else. It was a word he reserved only for her. Every morning before he'd leave for work, he'd kiss my mom and say, "My dear Celeste, you look beautiful today."

  I continue to the next line. I miss you terribly. I'll give you next week. I promise. At least I think that's what it says. 'Promise' looks more like 'premise' and 'miss' looks like 'mess' but in the context of the other words, I'm pretty sure I've got the words right.

  He misses her and he's promising her next week. I look up and take a deep breath. He was cheating on her. My dad was cheating on my mom with whoever's name is after the 'dear'. It's such a scribbled mess of letters that I can't even guess at whose name it is, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that he wasn't faithful to my mom. I thought they had a good marriage but I guess I was wrong.

  When did this start? Was he unfaithful for years? A lot of women go after powerful men, and being governor all those years made him powerful. Is that when he started cheating? Or was it when he ran for the Senate? Some of the women who attended his speeches used to look at my dad like he was some kind of sex symbol. He'd go out in the crowd and shake hands and I'd see women flirting with him, but he'd just smile and move on. He never showed any interest in them, because why would he? He was married. He had my mom.

  But apparently she wasn't enough for him because he promised this woman a week of his time. Did he give her more than that? He said he missed her terribly which means their relationship had to have been going on for a while.

  I keep reading. The next line is written halfway down the page. The way this is written, with sentences spaced far apart and words randomly scribbled in the corners, it's like this wasn't meant to be given to whoever he's writing to, but more like he was getting his thoughts on paper to tell the person later. But why was it in this box? Did Sharon pack it in there, not realizing what it was? Or did it just fall out of one of his notepads?

  The next line reads, You are my one and only but I can't give you what you want. Not yet. I need more time. Not just with her, but with all of it.

  There's some scribbling that's been crossed out, then farther down on the page he continues.

  I know you understand. You've always understood me. I wish things could be different but they can't.

  Always yours, and then he just signs with the letter N. He'd do that on cards he gave my mom. He'd just sign with an N.

  He wrote this like he was writing to my mom but instead it's written to this other woman. Who is she? And how dare he call her his 'one and only'? My mom was his one and only. She was his wife. The mother of his child. The woman he was supposed to grow old with. So how could this other woman be his one and only?

  I shove up from my chair and pace the small area in front of the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooks the city. I stop and rub my hands over my face, trying to make sense of this. Did I misinterpret my parents' relationship? Did I assume their lack of fighting meant they loved each other? Maybe their relationship failed years ago and they only stayed together because of me.

  My phone vibrates and I see it's Kate calling.

  I answer it. "He cheated."

  "What?" she asks, sounding confused.

  "My dad was cheating on my mom. I don't know who with or how long it went on or when it started or any of that. I just know he cheated."

  "What are you talking about? Your dad what?"

  There's a clanking noise, like the sound of pans hitting together, and I hear guys talking in the background.

  "Hold on," Kate says. "I have to go to a quieter place." A moment passes and the loud noises disappear. "Okay, go ahead."

  "This woman who worked on my dad's campaign cleaned out his desk last year and put everything in a box. She forgot about it until just now so I came to pick it up. It was mostly junk but I found this note. And a key. I don't know what it goes to but I'm pretty sure it's either a hotel key or an apartment key."

  "Wait, so how do you know he was cheating?"

  "The note. It was from my dad. It's in his handwriting." I pick up the note and read it to Kate.

  "Gavin, I'm so sorry."

  "I can't believe this is happening again. I was finally getting over all that stuff I found out about him last year. The guns. The lies. And now I find out he was cheating on my mom. Before he died, he kept telling her he was going to take her on a romantic trip to Paris after the campaign was over. He went on and on about how much he loved her and how he was so lucky to have her, and the whole time, he was seeing this other woman."

  "How do you know when he was seeing her? Was the note dated?"

  "No, bu
t..." I look at the note again. "I guess you're right. I guess I don't know when this was going on, but if it was in his campaign office it had to have been within the past couple years."

  "You're not going to tell your mom, are you?"

  "No. She's been through enough this past year. She doesn't need to know her husband was cheating on her."

  "Maybe she knew."

  "She didn't act like she did."

  "You didn't notice anything unusual? No signs that he was seeing someone else?"

  "Not that I can think of, but it's not like I was looking for signs. I thought he really loved my mom."

  "Gavin, I'm sure he did. Men cheat for a lot of different reasons. It doesn't mean he didn't love her."

  "If he loved her, he wouldn't have cheated. I'd never even think of cheating on you and we're not even married."

  "Never say never," she mumbles.

  "What's that supposed to mean? You think I'd cheat on you?"

  "No, but...." She gets quiet.

  "But what?"

  "Never mind."

  "Kate, just say what you were going to say."

  "Just forget about it. So are we still going out tonight?"

  "Yes. Now finish what you were saying. You know I don't like it when you do that thing where you start to say something and then change the subject. So tell me what you were going to say."

  She sighs. "When you say you're never going to do something, I'm not sure I believe you anymore."

  "Why? What do you mean?"

  "I'm never going to work long hours," she says in a deep voice, trying to mimic me, "because that would mean being away from you, Kate. I'm never going to let work come between us. I'm never to work on a political campaign."

  "Okay, fine. So I did stuff I said I'd never do but it's only temporary. The campaign ends after the election next year and I'm only working extra hours because the website had problems. This isn't forever, Kate. And I wasn't just saying all that stuff. I meant it."

  "And yet you're still doing what you said you'd never do." She sounds angry, and her anger is making me angry. I don't even know why. What she said is all true so she has a right to be mad but I don't want to hear it. Not right now.

  "Are we going to fight about this? Because I'm really not in the mood."

  "So you have to be in the right mood in order for us to have this discussion?"

  "I just found out my dad was having an affair, so yes, I'm not in the mood to fight."

  "I wasn't fighting. I was telling you how I feel. And given what you just found out, I didn't want to tell you, but you forced me to. You kept asking me what was wrong."

  I let out a long breath and rub my forehead. "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just in a bad mood today. And I'm tired. I didn't get enough sleep last night."

  "Then we'll go to dinner tonight and come home so you can rest. I could use a night off from the restaurant. Besides, the crew is working on the kitchen tonight so I can't test recipes like I'd planned to."

  "I still want to go see the place. I haven't been there in almost a week. I want to see how it looks."

  "It looks really great." Her voice rises. "I'm so excited, Gavin. I can't believe this is happening. That I'm actually opening my own restaurant."

  "I'm really proud of you, Kate. The restaurant is going to do great."

  "Hey, I'd love to talk more but I have to go. I have a meeting with the contractor in a few minutes. You gonna be okay?"

  "Yeah. And I'll be home tonight, no matter what comes up at work. I have to see you, and talk to you, and hold you. I miss you."

  "I miss you too. I'll see you tonight. Bye!"

  Someone knocks on the door to the conference room and it opens slightly. A middle-aged man wearing a shirt and tie is standing there and says, "There's a meeting starting in here in a few minutes. You almost done?"

  "Yeah. Sorry." I go to gather up the things on the table. "I'll clean this up. Do you know where I could get another box?"

  "Would a bag work? There's one on the floor there." He points to an empty shopping bag that's next to the waste basket.

  "Thanks." I go to pick it up. "I'll be out in a minute."

  He leaves the door open but walks away. I load up the box with the stuff I don't want and place the items I'm keeping in the bag. I stuff the letter and key in my pocket, then take the box to Linda's office.

  "You sure you want this stuff?" I ask her. "I could take it to the dumpster."

  She looks in the box. "There's no need to. I'll donate it to the shelter. They can always use office supplies."

  "Okay. Well, thanks for letting me know about the box."

  She gives me a sad smile. "I'm very sorry about your father. He was a good man."

  I nod, but I'm not really sure if he was a good man. The more I find out about him, the more I question that.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kate

  "Gavin!" I squeal when I see him walking in the restaurant. One of my crew guys just left so Gavin snuck in while the door was open. "What are you doing here?" I run up to him.

  He gives me a hug. "I wanted to surprise you and come see your place." He kisses me, then takes a moment to look around. "It looks awesome, Kate. It looks ready to open."

  "It's not quite ready but it's getting there." I hug him again. "I'm so happy you're here. How did you get off so early? It's not even five."

  "Jett wasn't—I mean, Peter was out of the office today with Jett. I thought with the boss gone, it'd be a good time to leave early."

  I step back. "So where were you working today? At your regular job or for Jett?"

  "My regular job. Why?"

  He laughed a little when he said it, which is what he does when he's nervous. He laughs at stuff that's not funny. So is he lying to me? Is that why he's nervous?

  "You said Jett wasn't there, so I thought that meant you were working at the campaign office today."

  "No. So anyway, do you want to eat an early dinner so we have more time at home? Or do you have stuff you need to finish here?"

  "I need to finish some stuff before we go, but you can hang out here in the dining area. The guys aren't working out here today so it'll be quiet."

  He puts his arms around my waist and smiles. "Why don't you give me something to do? Need any screws tightened? Nails hammered?"

  I laugh. "For some reason, I can't see you doing that, at least not without landing yourself in the emergency room."

  "Hey!" he says, acting offended. "I can tighten a screw or hammer a nail without hurting myself."

  "Are you sure? Because I seem to recall you having to put ice on at last two swollen fingers after you hit them with the hammer trying to hang a clock on the wall." I struggle not to laugh as I remember that day. He was trying to be all manly, hammering the nail in, but it hit a stud in the wall so he went to hit the nail harder and hit his hand instead.

  "It was a faulty hammer," he says.

  I smile. "Oh. So it was the hammer's fault."

  "Well, obviously. How else would you explain it? I wouldn't purposely hit my hand."

  "No, of course not." I try not to laugh but can't hold it in.

  He laughs too and hugs me to his chest. "Please don't ever tell anyone about that. It's our secret, okay?"

  "Okay. But I am going to remind you of it every time you get the urge to do home improvement projects."

  "Gavin." Henry appears from the kitchen. He walks up to us. "What are you doing here?"

  "I came to see my girl." He holds me at his side and kisses my cheek. "And see how the restaurant's coming along."

  Henry grins. "Looks good, doesn't it?"

  "Looks great."

  "Thanks to Henry," I say. "If it weren't for him, it wouldn't look this good, and it definitely wouldn't be ready for the opening."

  "You give me far too much credit," he says. "So are you two heading out for the night?"

  "That's the plan," Gavin says. "You think you can handle things here while I steal her away?"


  "Of course." He waves us away. "Get out of here. Go have some fun."

  "I have some things to do before we go," I say.

  "They can wait until tomorrow." Henry goes to the door and opens it. "Go. It's an order."

  "I have to get my purse. I'll be right back." I hurry to the kitchen and get my purse from the drawer. One of the painters stops me with a question. I give him an answer, then tell him Henry's in charge while I'm gone.

  When I get back to the dining room, I see Henry and Gavin talking. They both look serious. Gavin must've told him about Niles cheating on Celeste.

  Gavin smiles when he sees me. "Ready to go?"

  He takes me to a restaurant we went to when we were first dating. It's nothing fancy but the food is good and it reminds of the early months of our relationship, back when everything felt easy and uncomplicated and we spent hours talking and having sex. Now things seem harder, more complicated, and we haven't had sex in over a week. We almost never talk anymore, and when we do I feel like Gavin isn't telling me everything. I feel like he's keeping secrets from me. I can't prove it but my gut tells me he's hiding something.

  This isn't us. We don't keep secrets. We tell each other everything. Having to keep this secret about his dad's involvement with that group is killing me. I'm only doing it because my dad's convinced me that telling Gavin could get him, or both of us, hurt.

  "What'd you think?" Gavin asks when we're back at the apartment.

  "About dinner? It was great! It's fun to go back to our old hangouts."

  "Last year seems like forever ago."

  "I know." I drop my purse on the kitchen counter. "We were just kids back then. Now we're fully functioning adults, with jobs and a business and our own apartment."

  He smiles. "Yeah. We're so old now."

  I laugh. "You know what I mean."

  He pulls me toward him and kisses me. "I've missed you," he whispers over my mouth.

  "I've missed you too," I whisper back.

  He kisses the side of my neck up to my ear. "I want you so bad right now."

  "Then what are you waiting for?" I ask.

  "I'm trying to take it slow." He slides his lips back down my neck. "I don't want it to be over quick."