Secrets Told

by Allie Everhart

  "That's not a fair question. You're part of my life, Kate. You always will be. I love you. We're getting married someday. Things change when you commit to someone. It's not all about me anymore. It's about you, and us. Like owning this restaurant. It's not something I would've ever wanted but it's important to you. It's your dream so I'm supporting that dream, even if it means we're stuck here for years."

  "Stuck here? So now you're saying you didn't want to stay in Connecticut? You said that's what you wanted. Were you just saying that for my sake?"

  "No. I mean, part of me wanted to move somewhere else, but the other part of me was okay staying here. If it's where we need to be for you to have your dream, then I'm fine with that."

  "Fine isn't good enough. You shouldn't be settling because of me. Because of what I want. We should both be happy, and right now, I don't think you're happy."

  "Of course I'm happy. Why would you even say that?"

  "You can't be happy if you feel you have to hide things from me. We should be able to tell each other everything and talk things through when we disagree. But instead, you've been keeping secrets, something we said we'd never do."

  "You're right, which is why we need to talk about this. When we get home tonight we'll—"

  "I'm not going home."

  "What do you mean?"

  I look down, trying not to cry. "I need some time, and so do you. In fact, I think you need it more than I do."

  "What are you talking about? Time to what?"

  "To think about what you want out of life. What you want to do. What makes you happy."

  He puts his hands on my shoulders. "YOU make me happy. Being with you, and us building a life together. That's all I care about."

  "If that were true, then you wouldn't have hid this from me. You wouldn't have lied to my face, making up stories about being in a meeting with Peter when the truth is, you don't even work for Peter anymore."

  "Kate, please. Don't make a bigger deal out of this than it is. I didn't want to lie to you. And I shouldn't have. I made a mistake. A huge mistake." He sighs. "I'm sorry. I really am."

  I gulp past the lump in my throat. "I know you're sorry, Gavin, but this is about more than just what happened tonight. It's about the fact that you don't trust me enough to tell me the truth. And I need you to figure out why that is, because maybe you're not being honest with yourself. Maybe you really do want to follow in your father's footsteps, and if that's true, then I can't be holding you back. You'll never be happy if you're not doing what you really want to do."

  "Kate, you're not listening to me. I won't be happy without you. It doesn't matter what I'm doing. Can we just talk about this when we get home? Or we'll talk about it tomorrow. I'll take the day off. I'll come here and help you with the restaurant and we'll talk when you have a break. Then we'll talk again when we get home."

  "I can't go home, Gavin. I need time to think. We both do." I take a breath. "I think you should leave."

  "What? Why?"

  "Having you here is distracting me from what I need to be doing. This is my big night and right now I should be out there meeting people and promoting my business, not in here arguing with you."

  "I'm not leaving. If you want me to stop talking to you, then fine, I will, but I'm not leaving. I'm here to support you in any way I can."

  I walk past him and out to the dining room. I'm on the verge of tears but I fight them back and put on a smile. I go up to one of the tables and ask the guests how their meal was, then do the same at the next table. I do my best to pretend everything's great. That this is the best night of my life.

  But it's not even close to that because I think I just broke up with Gavin. I don't know if we'll get back together or if this is the end for us.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Kate

  "Can I stay with you tonight?" I ask my mom as I take her aside. It's the end of the night and everyone is leaving.

  She sighs. "Kate, don't do this."

  She saw me avoiding Gavin all night and knows what's going on without me even telling her.

  "Do what?"

  "Fight with Gavin because he was late."

  "It wasn't just that. I found out he's been lying to me about his job. Turns out he's been working for Senator Falkin for weeks and didn't tell me. I don't want to get into it. The point is, I can't go home tonight and I need a place to stay. I'd stay with Megan but it's an even farther drive and—"

  "Honey, it's fine. You can stay with me. I just think it'd be better if you worked things out with Gavin."

  "Well, that's not happening tonight so I need to stay at your place."

  My mom moved back to her apartment last Monday. The air conditioner was fixed Friday but she said she needed to give it time to cool down the apartment before she moved back, which I'm pretty sure was just an excuse for her to stay with my dad longer.

  Every time I looked over at them tonight I noticed they kept getting closer. My dad would scoot his chair toward hers, then she'd scoot hers closer to his, and I definitely saw them holding hands under the table a few times.

  "If it's going to be too crowded, you could always stay with Dad," I say just to see how she'll respond.

  She tries to hide her smile. "I think he's had enough of me. I'm sure he likes having his apartment to himself again."

  "I think he wants you to move back in. At dinner tonight, he couldn't seem to get close enough to you."

  "Kate, don't be silly. Your father just couldn't hear me over the music. That's why he moved closer."

  "Do you really think I believe that?" I smile. "I'm an adult now, Mom. I know what's going on. So how about you? Do you feel the same way?"

  "Honey, we should start getting the kitchen cleaned up. If we don't, we'll be here all night."

  "Mom, why won't you answer me? Every time I ask about this, you either deny you like Dad or you change the subject. I know you still have feelings for him. I can tell whenever you guys are together. So is there a reason you won't act on those feelings?"

  She looks to the side and doesn't answer.

  "Is it because of Allen? Are you thinking of going back to him?"

  She huffs. "No. Absolutely not. He moved in with that woman. Did I tell you that?"

  "No. When did that happen?"

  "Sometime last week. I found out from Marsha, my hairdresser. Apparently Candy goes to the same salon I go to, although I've never seen her there."

  Candy. I can't believe Allen dumped my mom for some yoga instructor named Candy. What an idiot.

  "So what happens now? When are you going back to Florida?"

  "I'm not sure, but not anytime soon. I need some time away. If I go back, there's a chance I'll run into Allen, or worse, I'll run into Allen and Candy together, and I'm not ready for that."

  "You could move back here."

  "I've considered that, but I don't want to move back. I like living in Florida. I like the warm weather and I have friends there and my job is waiting for me when I get back. I shouldn't have to leave all that behind because Allen cheated on me."

  "But would you consider it? If something happened between you and Dad?"

  "Honey, I already told you, it wouldn't be right for your father and I to be together again."

  "But why? I don't understand."

  "Need any help?" I hear my dad say.

  My mom stands up straighter and smooths her hair. "I think we're okay."

  "Actually," I say to my dad, "it'd be great if you and mom could do a quick inventory of what's left in the storeroom and coolers. We went through more food than I thought we would and now I'm short for the week. I'm going to have to put in an order first thing tomorrow."

  "I can do that for you," my mom says. "Your dad doesn't need to help."

  "But it'll go faster if he does."

  "I don't mind helping." He puts his hand on my mom's back and turns her toward the coolers. "It'll be just like old times," he says as they walk off. "Remember all those times we used to coun
t inventory?"

  He means at my mom's diner. My dad used to come in and help whenever he wasn't on duty at the police force. I don't remember those times but my mom's told me about them and always seems happy when she's reminiscing about those years.

  That's why I asked them to do the inventory. Maybe it'll remind them how much they used to love each other. Even if my mom doesn't want to get back together with my dad, I think it's good for her to remember what it was like to be in love. Maybe it'll give her hope that there's someone out there who will make her feel that way again.

  As I'm cleaning the kitchen, I hear my mom laughing at whatever my dad is saying. They're in the storeroom, which anyone who's ever worked foodservice knows is a total make-out place. There's just something about being stuck together in a storeroom that makes people give up their inhibitions. I say this from experience. I've kissed many boys in a storeroom, and a couple in the cooler. And yes, I've had sex in a storeroom, but only once and I'm not proud of it. The guy was a jerk, but he was hot and when he took his shirt off I lost all self-control.

  I'm sure that won't happen with my parents but they did get really quiet just now. Maybe they're just counting cans of tomatoes. Or maybe they're kissing. I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I think it'd be nice for them to be together again, but on the other hand, it might lead to them both getting hurt. But that's the risk that comes with being in a relationship, a fact that was proved tonight when Gavin hurt me by lying.

  He went home an hour ago. I asked him to leave. I didn't want his help cleaning up. Every time I saw him tonight, I kept hearing him in my head, lying to me. We can't have a relationship based on lies. And the worst thing is...he's not the only one lying. I still haven't told him what his dad was involved in, and keeping that from him has been harder than I thought it'd be. I feel like it's keeping me from getting closer to him, which is why I need time to evaluate our relationship and our future. If neither one of us can be honest, maybe we can't be together.

  Just after midnight, my parents and I head out to our cars.

  "Drive safe, you two," my dad says, giving me a hug. He gives my mom one too. I don't know what went on in the storeroom but my mom has been smiling nonstop since she finished the inventory. My dad hasn't been as obvious, although I keep catching him touching her hand or her arm, or her back as she walks.

  When we get to my mom's apartment, I go straight to bed. I'm so tired. But tired is good, because if I'm sleeping, I can't think about Gavin.

  The next morning I wake up to two emails, three voicemails, and ten texts from Gavin, all asking me to forgive him. But the issue isn't about whether or not I can forgive him. It's about him lying to me over and over again, and lying to himself. If he really wants to run for office someday, then he should do it. He shouldn't be held back because of me.

  I get to the restaurant at six, an hour before my staff arrives. The restaurant's only open for lunch and dinner for now. I might add breakfast later.

  When I pull in the back lot, I see Gavin's car there. I sigh, not wanting to deal with this now.

  "Gavin, I can't do this," I say as he walks up to me. "Not now. I have so much to do."

  He hands me a coffee from my favorite coffee place. "You wouldn't respond to any of my messages. I had to make sure you're okay."

  "I'm fine." I walk past him. "You should get to work."

  He catches up to me. "How late will you be here tonight? We need to talk when you get home."

  "I don't know how late I'll be. And I'm not coming home. I'm staying with my mom again." I go to unlock the door but he grabs my hand, stopping me.

  "What do you mean you're not coming home?" When I don't answer, he says, "One night was enough, Kate. We're not doing this again."

  "If I want to stay with my mom, I will." I yank my hand from his and unlock the door.

  He follows me inside. "You don't have to prove how angry you are at me by staying with your mom. I get it, okay? I screwed up. I more than screwed up. I never should have lied to you."

  "Then why did you?"

  "Because I knew how mad you'd be when you found out I was working for Jett. I knew we'd end up fighting and I didn't want to fight when you were getting ready for the opening."

  "So you think you were doing me a favor by lying to me?" I slam my purse on the counter. "Well, guess what? You didn't. In fact you humiliated me in front of your boss. And Mr. Walcott. They both knew you'd been lying to me as soon as Jett told me the truth. You know how stupid I felt not knowing you'd been working for him?"

  "That wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't even know he'd be there."

  "Luckily he was or I still wouldn't know the truth." I storm off to my office and try to close the door but Gavin's there, blocking it. "I have to work."

  "So when are we talking?"

  "What else is there to say?" I go over to my desk, the same desk Gavin and I had sex on just days ago. And now we're not even living together anymore. It's amazing how fast things can change.

  "Kate, we're not letting this go on. We need to end this. Come home tonight. I'll make us dinner. We'll talk." He smiles. "Make up."

  "Seriously? You think dinner and sex is going to solve our issues?" I open my laptop. "Just go."

  He comes around my desk and turns me toward him, his hands planted firmly on the arms of my chair, blocking me in. "I wasn't trying to pretend we could get past this in a day or two. I know it'll take longer than that. But we can't work on it if you're off living at your mom's place."

  I look into his eyes and notice they look almost as sad as they did after his dad died. It makes me want to feel sorry for him, but I stop myself before I do, reminding myself he lied to me.

  I know I'm lying, too, but it's only because I'm trying to protect him from bad people. People who could hurt him, or both of us. Gavin kept quiet because he didn't want us to fight. That's not a reason to lie. That's a coward's excuse.

  "I need more time," I say.

  "How much more?"

  "I don't know."

  "Meaning you're staying with your mom for more than tonight?"

  I hesitate, because I haven't thought that far ahead yet. "Yes. I'm staying there a few days, maybe longer."

  He shakes his head. "I don't understand why you're doing this. We've had fights in the past but you've never moved out." He looks at me. "Is there something else going on?"

  "Like what?"

  "I don't know, like something else I did or said that upset you? Are you mad that I wasn't around enough to help you with the restaurant?"

  "No, it's not about that. It's just...it's a lot of things, Gavin. I just think we both need some time apart. I think it'll help our relationship."

  "I disagree." He stands up straight. "But I can't force you to be with me. I'd never do that. You should want to be with me, so if you don't, then, well..." He walks to the door. "Goodbye, Kate."

  After he leaves, I shut the office door and let myself cry. I didn't cry at all last night. I couldn't, not with the restaurant opening. But now I'm free to let loose all the hurt I'm feeling over the fact that Gavin lied to me and the loss I'm feeling over having him gone.

  At seven, my staff arrives to prep for lunch, and at eleven, the restaurant officially opens to the public. When I unlock the door, I'm shocked to find a line of people waiting to get in. They quickly fill all the seats and I get so busy that I don't even think about Gavin until the lunch crowd leaves around two and I'm left wishing he'd been here to see how many people showed up. I want to call and tell him but that would only confuse him. I made it clear I wanted time alone, which means no calling or texting him.

  People start showing up for dinner at four and they keep showing up all night. I'd never have this many customers on my first day in business if it weren't for Mr. Walcott and all his rich, well-connected friends. They've obviously spread the word and now I have people calling and asking for reservations, which we don't even accept.

  We close at ten and by the
time the kitchen is cleaned up, it's almost midnight. I won't be staying this late every night. Kami, the manager I hired, will be the one in charge of closing. I purposely found someone to take over the evening shift so I could be home with Gavin at night, but now I'm not living with him anymore.

  As I'm walking out to the parking lot, I see Gavin's car parked next to mine. He's standing there, his arms crossed, leaning against the driver's side door.

  "I'm not ready to talk," I say as I walk up to my car.

  "I know. I just wanted to make sure you were safe. You shouldn't walk to your car alone at night."

  "I've been doing it for weeks. You haven't been around, remember?"

  "Well, I am now, so if you plan to keep working late I'll be here every night."

  "Fine." I open my car door. "Goodnight, Gavin."

  "Goodnight. Be careful driving to your mom's."

  Getting in the car, I want to cry again. He's being so sweet. The sweet, caring guy I fell in love with and miss having by my side. I'm tempted to go back to him, but it's too soon. We need more time to think about what's important to us and what we want in life, and then we can talk.

  He waits and watches as I drive off, then I see him get in his car.

  The next few days, I spend all my time at the restaurant, working double shifts so I don't have to go home. I tell my mom I'm staying late to train Kami, but it's a lie. Kami used to have her own catering company so she's very efficient and organized and runs the place so well that I have nothing to do but sit in my office when she's there. But I still stay until close and lock up at the end of the night. And when I go out to the parking lot, Gavin is there, making sure I make it safely to my car. He doesn't say anything. He just watches me, waits for me to get in my car and drive away, and then he leaves.

  We haven't talked or texted for days. He's probably waiting for me to make the next move but I don't know what that is yet or when I should do it.

  On Saturday, I need a break from the restaurant so I decide to go to lunch with my mom. Tom, my weekend manager, is handling the restaurant. I've known him for years and used to work with him so I feel okay leaving him in charge. Plus, now that the staff has had a week of practice, things are running smoothly. I'm actually surprised how smoothly they're running. I expected more problems on opening week.