Ice In His Veins

by Carole Mortimer

  Eden felt as if her teeth were rattling in her head. ‘St-stop shaking m-me, Jason,’ she begged. ‘I can’t think straight!’

  He stopped shaking her, but his fingers still bit into her flesh. ‘I want to do more than shake you,’ he told her furiously. ‘Finding you almost naked in Nichols’ bed! God, I could beat you within an inch of your life!’

  ‘I was almost naked, Jason,’ she said pleadingly. ‘Doesn’t that tell you anything?’

  His eyes narrowed to steely slits. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘If I’d been to bed with Gary, if he’d made love to me, wouldn’t I have been completely naked?’

  ‘Are you saying—’

  ‘I told you earlier tonight that I’d never been to bed with a man, that’s still true.’

  ‘Eden?’ Uncertainty entered his voice for the first time.

  Her eyes glowed. ‘It’s true, Jason,’ she confirmed huskily.

  ‘My God, the torture you’ve put me through!’ He pulled her savagely against him, burying his face in the hair at her throat. ‘No other man? Really?’ He still sounded unsure.

  Her hands moved up over his shoulders to caress his nape, smoothing the thick hair that grew there. ‘Do you want proof?’

  He drew back sharply, searching her features. ‘Proof?’ he repeated softly.

  Eden nodded. ‘Proof.’

  ‘But there’s only one way—Eden, you love me too!’ His exclamation was triumphant.

  ‘Yes!’ Her smile was tearful.

  His mouth claimed hers with a fierceness that took her breath away, grinding his lips against hers for long dizzying minutes before gentleness took over. His lips teased and tempted until she increased the pressure in an effort to stop this torment on her senses.

  Jason was shaking when he finally moved away from her, still maintaining a hold on her by his linked hands at the base of her spine. ‘When?’ he demanded to know. ‘When did you fall in love with me?’

  She gave a happy laugh. ‘I didn’t suddenly say to myself, “Hey, I love this man”!’

  ‘I know that,’ he shook her gently. ‘But there must have been a time when you realised it.’

  ‘It was—it was the day after I arrived in England.’ Incredible that it had happened so quickly. Even more incredible that it should be a man she had started out hating.

  Jason frowned. ‘That long ago?’

  ‘Are you doubting me again?’

  He shook his head. ‘Just thinking of all the time wasted. I think I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you.’

  Eden laughed. ‘I can’t believe that. You were hateful.’

  ‘Most men are when they get that trapped feeling, especially when they get to my age and they think they’ve escaped the trauma of love.’

  ‘Trauma?’ she repeated. ‘Is it really so bad?’

  ‘No,’ he smiled. ‘It’s just that we have the added complication of Isobel’s possessive attitude towards me.’

  ‘God, yes!’ She pulled out of his arms and turned away from him. ‘I’d forgotten about Isobel for the moment.’ She swung back to look at him. ‘Why did you get involved with her, Jason? Why even think of marrying someone you didn’t love?’

  He sighed. ‘Try to understand, darling. I’m thirty-six, the age when most men are married with families. I’ve escorted many women the last twenty years, and I thought I was past the age of finding there was such a thing as love, expecially with a girl of twenty!’

  ‘So you were going to accept second best,’ she said bitterly. ‘Enter into a marriage of suitability rather than wait and see if the real thing did exist.’

  He lifted her chin, his eyes coaxing as he looked down at her. ‘But I didn’t. I swear to you that I’ve never discussed marriage with Isobel, that the idea of it’s all on her side.’

  ‘But you admitted to thinking about it,’ she accused.

  ‘Well, yes. But—’

  ‘It’s like a betrayal,’ Eden said chokingly. ‘You say you find it torture to think of me with other men, I find it nauseous to think of you with her,’ her voice shook.

  ‘I’m only seeing her at the moment because she seems to need me. It’s you I love. One look at you and my orderly existence and cold-blooded plans for a loveless marriage went out of the window. I’ve kept you with me these last weeks against Isobel’s pleadings, she would have been only too pleased for you to have moved in with her, probably because she could see what was happening between the two of us,’ he added derisively. ‘But I wouldn’t hear of you moving out,’ his hands tightened. ‘I still won’t. I want you here with me, Eden. I can’t bear to let you out of my sight. I love you, and if you go away from me I think I’ll die.’

  ‘Jason…’ she gently smoothed his brow, ‘I never dreamt you could feel this way about me.’

  He planted a lingering kiss in the palm of her hand. ‘You still haven’t actually told me you love me.’

  ‘I haven’t?’ Her eyes were wide.

  ‘You know you haven’t.’

  She smiled teasingly, standing on tiptoe to kiss him softly on the lips. ‘I love you,’ she breathed the words against his lips. ‘I really love you very much.’

  ‘Enough to stay here with me?’

  ‘I can’t, Jason. Surely you can see that knowing we love each other just makes it more difficult. I’ll definitely have to move out now.’

  ‘I won’t let you go, Eden,’ he said fiercely. ‘When the hell would I see you?’

  ‘Whenever you wanted to. But I want no hole-and-corner affair with you. Until you’re free of Isobel I don’t want anything to do with you.’

  ‘I don’t belong to Isobel—’

  Eden wrenched out of his arms. ‘She thinks you do.’

  ‘Then I’ll speak to her.’

  ‘When? Next month, next year? We have no way of knowing when she’s going to be strong enough to stop relying on you.’

  ‘I won’t let you go, Eden,’ he repeated firmly.

  ‘I think maybe I should just go home until all this is sorted out.’

  ‘No!’

  ‘Yes.’ She hated having to refuse his impassioned denial. ‘If Isobel should find out about us before you’ve had a chance to tell her!’ She shook her head. ‘That could be disastrous in her emotional state.’

  ‘You can’t talk of leaving me when you’ve just told me you love me!’ He sounded agonised.

  ‘You know what would happen if I stayed here,’ she blushed.

  ‘Would that be such a bad thing? I want you so very much.’

  ‘I—I couldn’t, Jason. I meant it when I said there’s been no one, and there won’t be until I’m married. I’m afraid I couldn’t deny you if I stayed.’

  ‘Would it matter so much? The first time isn’t very pleasant for a woman. It could ruin our wedding night.’

  She smiled. ‘Not that old trap, Jason,’ she mocked. ‘I’ve heard that if a man is experienced enough he can make even the first time wonderful. And no one could deny your experience.’ Bitterness had entered her voice over the last.

  His hand caressed her nape. ‘I can’t erase the past, darling,’ he said gently. ‘I can only assure you that the future belongs to you.’

  ‘I can’t stay.’ She shook her head. ‘Not until you’ve told Isobel. What if she won’t let go? What if she does something stupid? I couldn’t live with that.’

  ‘Eden, please—’

  The study door slowly opened behind them and a rather frightened-looking Mrs Gifford put her head round the door. Relief flooded her face as she recognised her employer and his young guest. She smiled. ‘For a moment I thought we had burglars! It’s after five o’clock in the morning, you know,’ she added worriedly. ‘Is there anything wrong?’ She wrapped her sumptuous dressing gown about her ample frame.

  ‘Nothing, Mrs Gifford.’ Jason was at his most charming. ‘Miss Shaw and I were just talking together after being out for the evening, and forgot the time.’

  The housekeeper looked sceptical
of any subject being that interesting that it would take them to this hour of the morning to discuss. ‘Well… if you’re sure everything is all right?’

  ‘Everything is fine,’ again Jason answered her. ‘You go back to bed. Miss Shaw and I were just going upstairs ourselves.’

  ‘Yes,’ Eden sprang into action, hurriedly moving past the housekeeper, ‘I’ll go up now. Sorry I kept you, Jason.’ She didn’t look at him again, almost running out of the door and up the stairs.

  ‘Eden!’ Jason had followed her and now stopped at the bottom of the stairs. ‘Eden!’ The desperation in his voice stopped her flight, and she turned wordlessly towards him. ‘We haven’t finished our—discussion,’ he told her huskily.

  ‘I think we’ve—talked enough for one night.’ She refused to respond to his unspoken plea. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’

  With Mrs Gifford still standing there he could do little to stop her. ‘Goodnight, Eden.’ His lips formed the words, ‘My darling.’

  Eden ran to her bedroom and leaned back against the closed door, feeling as if she had been given happiness with one hand and had it taken away with the other. Jason’s love was something she had wanted so desperately, and now that she knew she had it she wasn’t sure she could accept it. Isobel relied on him so heavily at the moment, might always rely on him, and no matter what the woman had once done to her and her family she wouldn’t be responsible for her harming herself in any way.

  But Jason loved her! Eden hugged herself, twirling lightly about the room, her eyes ecstatic. This moment was hers, hers and Jason’s, there would be plenty of time later to have her fragile happiness destroyed. Jason loved her! Arrogant, forbidding, often harsh Jason loved her. From their somewhat shaky start, the open hostility, love had somehow managed to blossom.

  She fell asleep with a smile curving her lips, waking to find only four hours had passed since she had come to bed. It was a beautiful morning, the sun shining, the birds singing, making her want to be out in the clearness of this surprisingly warm day. She couldn’t go back to sleep now anyway, so she might as well go out.

  It was still only ten o’clock when she emerged into the sunshine, only to find the sun had been deceptive and there was a definite frost in the air. Her brown cords and fitted brown shirt were complemented by the thick woollen thigh-length coat she wore, a handbag thrown carelessly over her shoulder.

  She spent the morning very much as she had done that first morning in London, but feeling none of the loneliness and desolation she had felt then. It was almost lunch-time before she realised she hadn’t even given Gary a thought. She suddenly knew she had to go and see him, had to make sure he was all right.

  It didn’t take her long to reach his flat, although it took several knocks before she heard any sign of movement inside, and even then the footsteps sounded sluggish.

  It was a bleary-eyed Gary who finally opened the door to her, the slight discolouration on his jaw evidence that there had been a lot of force behind Jason’s blow.

  ‘Come in,’ Gary invited, turning to walk back into the kitchen where he appeared to have been in the process of making coffee. ‘Want some?’ he queried.

  Eden shook her head. ‘I just came to make sure you were okay. Jason was—he was very angry last night.’

  ‘I gathered,’ he said dryly. ‘But you’re all right, aren’t you?’

  ‘Me?’ she frowned. ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘I had a feeling you might be.’ He picked up his cup and walked through to the lounge, dropping down on to the cushions. ‘I gather he put that smile on your face?’

  Eden blushed, the smile instantly fading. ‘Not in the way you mean.’

  He quirked an eyebrow. ‘And how do I mean?’

  ‘You—you think we went to bed together when we left here.’

  Gary shook his head. ‘I know damn well you didn’t.’

  ‘You do?’

  ‘Of course,’ he grinned. ‘If you’d slept together you’d still be with him. He isn’t the type to let you get up and leave him after only a couple of hours.’

  Eden blushed. ‘He could have gone out too.’

  ‘Not his style, he isn’t the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. So what did happen when you left here?’ He looked interested.

  ‘We—we talked.’

  ‘About what?’

  ‘Oh—this and that.’

  ‘Mainly that, I’d say,’ he teased. ‘When does the Morton woman get the Big E?’

  Eden moved uncomfortably. ‘I wish you wouldn’t put it quite like that. It doesn’t sound very nice.’

  ‘That’s probably because it isn’t. I’m happy for you, but as far as I can tell she gets a bit of a raw deal,’

  Eden frowned. ‘Aren’t you rather jumping to conclusions about Jason and me?’

  ‘Am I?’

  ‘Well….’

  ‘Of course I’m not,’ he grinned. ‘It was pretty obvious to me last night that the man’s mad about you. I’m sure he’s told you that by now, just happened to mention it in passing.’

  ‘Gary, please—’

  ‘I take it you aren’t moving out now,’ he continued. ‘No point really, not when you’ll soon be back there as his wife.’

  ‘Gary—’

  He gave her a sharp look. ‘He does have marriage in mind, I hope. Or is he planning to just have an affair with you?’

  ‘Of course he isn’t!’ she snapped angrily. ‘I’m sorry he hit you, Gary, but that’s really no reason for you to insult me. Jason is just caught up in a difficult position—’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind being caught between you and Isobel Morton,’ he chuckled.

  ‘I’m sure you wouldn’t!’

  He sighed. ‘I’m just annoyed because he’s walked off with my girl.’

  She smiled. ‘I was never your girl.’

  ‘I was steering you in that direction. The man’s a damned nuisance,’ he scowled. ‘Why doesn’t he stick to just one woman?’

  ‘I think he intends to.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘Yes,’ she told him huskily.

  Gary shrugged. ‘Then that’s that. Once a man like that declares ownership the rest of us might just as well not exist. I take it you love him too?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Shame,’ he shook his head. ‘When’s the wedding?’

  Eden looked away. ‘You’re going too fast, Gary. I haven’t said I’ll marry him.’

  He whistled through his teeth. ‘I bet he doesn’t like that.’

  ‘He doesn’t,’ she admitted ruefully.

  ‘Does he know you’re here with me?’

  She bit her lip. ‘No.’

  He raised his eyebrows. ‘I hope for your sake he doesn’t find out.’

  Her head went back defiantly. ‘I’m not afraid of him. If he asks me I shall tell him.’ But there was no reason why he should ask, thank heavens!

  ‘I wouldn’t if I were you,’ Gary rubbed his jaw. ‘I have first-hand knowledge of how fierce his anger can be.’

  ‘He wouldn’t hit me!’

  ‘That man is capable of anything if he’s roused. Have you been out of the house long?’

  Eden shrugged. ‘A few hours, I suppose.’

  ‘Then if I were you I’d get back home, otherwise he’s likely to come looking for you. And I don’t think I’m up to another punch-up.’

  ‘He won’t come looking for me,’ she laughed. ‘He’s at work.’

  ‘Sure?’ He sounded doubtful.

  ‘Jason never takes time off unless he absolutely needs to,’ like the occasion of her grandfather’s funeral.

  ‘Not even to be with the girl he loves?’

  Eden laughed. ‘Can you see Jason as the sentimental type?’

  ‘Quite frankly, no.’

  ‘Neither can I, so stop worrying.’

  She stayed with Gary for over an hour, preparing a snack lunch for them both before she left. They parted friends, although Eden had no idea when she would see him again. She still ha
dn’t made up her mind whether to go back to the States or to simply find herself an apartment or flat in London. The latter was very tempting, she would still be able to see Jason that way.

  She let herself into the house and was halfway up the stairs when she heard a firm familiar tread behind her and she spun round. ‘Jason!’ Her eyes lit up with pleasure and she ran down the stairs towards him, only to come to an abrupt halt two feet away from him, the anger in his face telling her of his displeasure. ‘Jason?’ she frowned.

  ‘Where have you been?’ There was barely controlled violence in his voice.

  ‘Jason?’ she faltered again.

  ‘Have you seen Nichols this morning?’ His mood was dangerous.

  ‘I—’

  ‘Have you?’ he demanded, the violence beginning to be unleashed.

  ‘Jason, let me—’

  ‘Have you?’

  ‘Yes!’ she answered as forcefully.

  ‘You little bitch!’ He swung away from her and slammed into his study.

  Eden stood in dazed silence for several long minutes and then she was galvanised into action, moving hurriedly to his study. He hadn’t been to work, the faded denims and casual shirt he wore were evidence of that. He must have been waiting for her return all morning. And she had had to admit to seeing Gary. Lord, what must he think of her!

  She received no answer to her tentative knock on the door, so finally she let herself in. Jason was slumped behind the desk, his face buried in his hands. She couldn’t bear to see him like this, and moved to the back of his chair to pull his head back against her breasts. She caressed his temples to soothe him.

  ‘Oh God, Eden,’ he turned his face against her. ‘Don’t torture me any more, I can’t stand it.’

  ‘I don’t mean to, Jason.’ Her softened gaze rested on his bent head. ‘I only went to see Gary to—’

  ‘I don’t want to know!’ he said fiercely, swinging the leather chair round to look at her. ‘Whatever there is between you two I don’t want to know about it.’