WITHOUT SHAME: Babylon MC Book 4

by James, Victoria L.

  I felt the blush rise, heating my cheeks, my stomach suddenly holding a thousand tap dancing butterflies. I’d honestly thought I was beyond these reactions to this man, but here we were. Once again, Drew Tucker had me utterly under his spell, and there wasn’t anywhere in the world I’d rather be.

  “Stop trying to distract me.”

  “I’m distracting you?” he asked softly, knowing full well he was.

  I closed the distance between us, my lips gently pressing against his, barely dusting the surface but appreciating the brush of his breath and the scent that was leather, motor oil, and uniquely him. “You’re my favorite distraction.”

  His hand found my ass and tugged me closer, a soft sigh leaving his lips. “What do you think about letting me distract you a whole lot this weekend… in Dallas?”

  “I would say that sounds like an amazing idea. What do you have in mind?”

  “I have some business I need to take care of up there.” His eyes searched mine. “I was going to take Eric, but I made a promise to you, and I’m tryin’ to stick to it. Come ride with me.”

  “I would be honored to join you.” I plunged my fingers into his hair, and kissed him again with more fervor, my tongue teasing his bottom lip. My whole body seemed to gravitate toward him as he reciprocated, and though my body flared to life, it was my heart that reacted the hardest. I wasn’t sure many people would understand why this little gesture meant so much to me.

  This new step we’d taken together, this simple little invitation to take me with him, was Drew’s way of thinning that line he’d put up between his life with me and the club life. I think I’d always known that he could only keep us separate for so long before we crashed back together. I lived in his home with him and the men. There was never going to be a real divide, but I’d had to let him figure that out and accept it for what it was. Drew was assertive, he was a leader, and he was allowing me to stand at his side.

  His smug smile grew against my lips as we kissed, slowing down our moment together. His eyes were open when I looked up at him, shining with a victory he’d probably never bother to explain.

  “It means a night away from The Hut. From the men. From Tate after everything that happened today. That okay?”

  “Does yes, please, answer your question?”

  “Do I need to get the guys to babysit your kid brother while we’re away?”

  I shook my head from side to side slowly. “I’m not going to ask that of the men. Tate has to be responsible for his own behavior and prove himself worthy. That doesn’t mean I trust him with the bike though. I was thinking of asking Autumn if I could leave it in her barn for two weeks.”

  “Autumn would donate a kidney if you asked her to. She’s good people.”

  “Y’all are good people,” I said quietly. “When are we going so I can call her?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “And it just keeps getting better.” I smiled at him. “Fine. I’ll call Autumn in the morning and see if I can’t get someone to ride the bike over there, and I can bring them back in the truck with me.” I traced the shell of his ear with my finger. “Do you need me to bring anything specific?”

  “Maybe some of that sexy lingerie I like to peel off with my teeth?” he said in his worst Texan drawl.

  “Well, that was a given.” I grinned, running my finger from his ear to his stubbly cheek. “Though I may have to make a trip to a mall if you keep ripping it.”

  “Take. My. Money,” he breathed on me seductively.

  It was so hard to think straight when he was looking at me the way he was now. We hadn’t so much as touched the whiskey, and there really hadn’t been much talk. Yet, all I could think about as I looked into his eyes was slowly stripping his clothes from him and letting him have his way with me. As much as I would love to have my way with him, that glint in his eye told me there was no way in hell he was in the mood to relinquish that to me tonight.

  “Are you done talking yet, Tucker?” I asked breathlessly.

  “Not even close.” His eyes fell to my lips, and he dragged his own through his teeth before he looked up into my eyes again. “I haven’t dropped the bomb about Rubin yet.”

  I pushed up on one elbow in surprise. “You spoke to him?”

  Drew closed his eyes, his cheeks scrunched high. “Kinda. Actually, he spoke to me.” He peeked one eye open. “And Deeks. And… fuck, Ayda,” he sighed. “You’d better pour that whiskey for this one. I’ve got a feeling you’ll need it before I’m through.”

  * * *

  Drew and I stayed up late talking about everything, and then avoided sleep further by exploring one another in a slow reverence I craved more than ever these days. I sometimes had to take a moment to let the wonder that he was mine wash over me.

  Even with as little sleep as I’d had, I’d gotten up early to take the bike to Autumn’s, leaving Drew in bed for a while longer. I knew Autumn was an early riser and Tate wasn’t, so it was an opportunity I couldn’t avoid. I didn’t want Tate harassing her or Deeks all weekend, so I was keeping the location a secret from him. I’d managed to get her on the phone, and I’d bribed Moose—the only one of the Hounds who rose early that morning—to ride the bike to her house for me.

  Moose had headed to the pawnshop the moment we’d gotten back. Since that night at the warehouse, he’d relaxed much more around me, but he was still a man of few words, and I appreciated that. I’d wondered about his decision to head in the opposite direction to The Hut for all of thirty seconds. Standing in the door of The Hut and staring into the darkness, all I could smell was the vomit permeating from the trash can sat by Rubin’s sprawled out body on one of the couches. One of the girls was laid out on the adjacent sofa, but it was easy to see she’d been looking after him rather than attempting to seduce the kid. She was wearing a black T-shirt that was too big for her. Rubin had apparently lost his stomach contents on what she had been wearing.

  I eased over to where he was snoring quietly, his mouth open, and I smiled as I pulled one of the worn blankets from a small stack and draped it over him.

  “Time is it?” he whispered, sounding rough.

  “Early. Go back to sleep, Rubik Cube.”

  “My mom–” he said, attempting to sit up, groaning. I pushed him back gently and brushed the strands of hair from his young face.

  “I called her before I went out earlier. Told her you and Tate fell asleep playing video games. She was pissed, but I cleared it. Call her when you don’t sound like you’ve inhaled a quart of bourbon and cigarettes.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Rubin winced and threw an arm over his eyes, the snore coming back just as quickly as it had stopped.

  “I’ll tell him again when he wakes up,” April, the girl on the other couch, said sleepily.

  I pulled another blanket from the stack and draped it over her. “I appreciate it, April.”

  She nodded and curled up under the blanket, mumbling about him being a good kid. She was right about that. I just hoped he stayed that way and would maybe rub off on Tate a bit more. It was unusual for Rubin to drink as much as he had, but after Drew’s explanation of the revelation the night before, I guess it made more sense, which was why I’d called his mom on his behalf. She hadn’t known he wasn’t in his own bed at that point, but knowing how late the boys slept around here, she’d have figured it out soon enough.

  I made my way back to our room through the club and met Drew at the door. He smiled down at me, his hand pushing under my hair to grab my neck and angle my head so he could reach my lips. I hummed in appreciation, even as he released me and slid his hand down my back to pat my ass.

  “Gonna let Slate know we’re heading out. Meet you outside.”

  I nodded in agreement and stepped into our room to grab our overnight bag. I scribbled out a quick note to Tate and then left, pulling the door closed behind me. I slipped the note under Tate’s door as I passed. He was going to be pissed when he woke up and found his bike gone, which was why I hadn
’t told him where the bike was, and I’d sworn both Moose and Autumn to secrecy until I got back. I knew Tate wouldn’t call Drew or me to find out where I’d taken it, and no one else around here knew, which lessened the probability of him figuring it out. I’d meant it when I’d told Drew that Tate had to make his own decisions.

  I understood that Tate would probably get drunk to spite me. He’d probably screw Libby seven ways from Sunday in inappropriate places to make his point, but the more control I tried to hold over him, the more he would rebel. Losing the bike was temporary this time, but every time I had to execute that right, he would lose it for longer and longer. The damn thing was in my name, and this seemed to be the only thing that would penetrate that thick skull of his enough to leave a message, especially if the guys went for a ride this weekend without him.

  I slipped out of the front doors as quietly as I could and smiled at Drew as he glanced up at me from his parking spot. I don’t think I’d ever spent a night with him outside of The Hut before. We would be away from Babylon, away from his brothers, away from the shit that weighed him down, and I was excited about that. Dallas wasn’t that far from where we were, but tonight it might as well be a continent away. I didn’t think a desert island would hold this much appeal for me. I loved my life with Drew and the club. I loved every one of the guys in varying degrees for various reasons because they were my family, but the selfish little girl inside of me was plain giddy at the idea of having Drew all to myself for one whole night.

  I pulled my helmet on as I reached the bike and swung my leg over the back, tightening the straps of my backpack to keep it in place. The moment Drew kicked the bike to life and got himself comfortable, I pressed myself against his back and held on as he pulled away and slipped out of the yard and onto the smooth highway.

  I’d made this trip so many times on those lonely nights I’d spent in my truck, my radio turned up, windows down, and air filtering into the cab. I only realized now that this was the feeling I’d been trying to achieve. That feeling of flying you could only get on a bike. I lifted my head and closed my eyes, arms wrapped around my man while a smile played on my lips as Drew pulled onto the interstate and took off.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  DREW

  I usually hated the city, but there was something special about seeing the Dallas skyline come into view. I’d been born a small-town boy, raised a small-town rebel, and grown to be a small-town man. I knew how to handle that life. There were elements I could control. But the city? That was a different story. Too many shadows, too much technology, and way too many people I couldn’t figure out.

  It was a different world here. The feeling of being away from my family and my brothers was one I didn’t relish all that much anymore. Not since Ayda had brought me back from my dark place just a short time ago. Still, that time of recklessness had done some good to me. I now knew about places I’d never known before, including the cute little motel just off the Northwest Highway. Eric and I had stopped over here while riding out, the two of us taking a break on the roadside before we headed off on roads with no destination again.

  Pulling the bike into the parking lot, I slipped it into place behind a truck, killing the engine and kicking the kickstand out as I looked up at the building in front of us. It was all cream stone, two stories, and about as quaint and romantic as you could get considering it was a typical, quick and cheap city-type building.

  Ayda climbed off the back of the bike, pulling her helmet off and leaving her hair wild. She glanced up at the building with wide eyes before turning back to me.

  “Where the hell did you find this place?”

  “I’ve been a few places recently. Discovered some new things. This was one of them.” When I looked over at her, I softened immediately. That look she was wearing was one I’d hoped to see. “I wasn’t lying when I said we had business to take care of up here, but I figured I could spare one more night to romance my woman the way I should have been romancing her for the last few weeks. Instead of, you know, doing the bad shit.” I cocked my head to the side, gesturing to the building as I climbed off the bike, eyeing Ayda the whole time. “What do ya say, old lady? You happy to spend the night with your ex-convict, future husband away from all the dirt and drama of Babylon?”

  Smiling, Ayda stepped toward me, her arms circling my body. “I thought you’d never ask.”

  I kissed her forehead, and we grabbed our bags to make our way inside. The reception area wasn’t all that. In fact, it was a little dated with dark wood, cream and red furnishings, and brass fucking detailing in the wooden wall panels, but it was away from home, and I was pretty sure it was the last place anyone would ever come looking for me.

  Once we were all checked in and the room key was in hand, I guided Ayda down the hall, feeling like a rat in one of those fancy ass cages with plastic tubes they could run through. It felt like prison… only prettier. I found myself tugging at the neckline of my hoodie and twisting my head from side to side in an attempt to breathe clearer when we finally came to the door that said 169.

  Ayda stopped and leaned against the wall by the door. She studied my face for a moment, a smile finally breaking free. “I love this little place, I really do, but a regular motel would have been fine for the night.”

  I swiped the card through the door, pushed down the handle and kicked it open, wedging my foot in the doorway, keeping my eyes on her. “I’m sick of telling you, Ayda. I do what I want, when I want, for who I want.” I reached down and smacked her ass playfully. “Now get inside the goddamn room, woman, and appreciate the moment.”

  With a roll of her eyes, Ayda headed straight toward the large king bed in the center of the room. She twisted and dropped onto the mattress, bouncing as she grinned up at me.

  “Admit it… you just wanted to get laid.”

  “Always.” I grinned, dumping my bag by the set of drawers than ran along one side of the room. I took a look around for myself. It was warm. Welcoming. Especially when I looked down at the woman sitting in front of me.

  “Another first for us.” She smiled. “One I’ve been waiting for. I get to be greedy with you.”

  I stepped closer. “Just so you know, you have my permission to be greedy with me whenever the hell you want.”

  Ayda gave me a knowing smile. “Yes, but tonight means no one running in and seeing parts of my anatomy we’d both prefer them not to see.”

  I tugged her back to standing, holding our joined hands against my chest. “There’s a whole lot of stuff I can show you here in Dallas while no one else is looking.” My feet began to move slowly, leading her into a small intimate dance I’d never danced with her before.

  Eyes widening, Ayda fell into step easily, her surprise worn in her smile as she glanced up at me. “You’ve been holding out on me?”

  “Can’t spend a lifetime with you and let you know all my secrets within the first year.” I winked and pushed her out, spinning her under my arm before curling her back against me.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever stop being surprised by the things you do.” She sighed contentedly, allowing the silence to settle around us for a moment before glancing up at me again. “Can I ask you why we’re here? It’s not that I’m not grateful for the night alone with you, but...” She trailed off. “I’m curious.”

  I lifted her chin with a finger and smiled. “That shit kills, Ayda.”

  “Shut up,” she said on a laugh, her hand slapping my shoulder lightly.

  “We’re in Dallas together for two reasons. Reason number one: I need you and your sympathetic personality, nurturing nature, and calm voice to be by my side when we visit Clint’s family tomorrow.”

  “Clint? As in…?”

  I inhaled slowly, narrowing my eyes and swallowing. “The guy who shared a cell with Harry in Huntsville. The man who took down Jon Taylor for Harry, for the club, and for anyone who’d ever been hurt by that son of a bitch. Clint was the last best friend Harry ever had, and he’s laid up
in hospital, pissing through tubes and eating soup for the next however many years because he took a beating to let Harry die the way he wanted to die.”

  Ayda reached up, her palm cupping my cheek. “I’m there. No more answers needed. What’s the second thing?”

  Twisting my lips before I smiled flatly, I looked at her with sad eyes and dropped my forehead to hers. “The second reason we’re here is because I really, really wanted to get laid.”

  Ayda’s laughter came easily, but it didn’t stop her from pushing to her toes and getting her lips as close to my ear as possible. The smile was in the tone of her voice as she whispered, “Fuck her like you’re Tucker.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  AYDA

  The word fuck whispered from my mouth always seemed to get me what I wanted from Drew, although he was definitely getting his own way, too. There was no losing when it came to our sex. The king bed had been so comfortable, it was close to pulling us both to sleep once we’d exhausted ourselves, but with a slap to my naked ass, Drew sent me to get ready for an impromptu date.

  The water pressure in the hotel room was divine, and my skin was still tingling when I’d finished my makeup and dried my hair. I was standing in front of the large mirror, staring at myself in the only dress I’d brought with me. Pulling on my leather jacket and boots, I rushed from the room to meet Drew in the lobby where he had left to greet the Uber he’d ordered for us. I slipped out the sliding doors into the odd city glow and found him holding open the door to a small minivan. He was deep in conversation with a tall gentleman who was wearing a leather vest and a cowboy hat. I would have paid more attention to that man if it hadn’t been for Drew himself. He looked amazing in his jeans and white button up, he always did, but the Texas girl in me fell apart in absolute lust when I noticed the boots he was wearing. Lucchese cowboy boots. I didn’t have to look closer to know the brand. It was all in the quality.