WITHOUT SHAME: Babylon MC Book 4

by James, Victoria L.

  Her breathing picked up as she watched me. “You have to understand my position here. You’re keeping me hostage. You put a bullet in my shoulder because of who I’d been married to. I’ve had to use a metal bucket as my toilet when you haven’t been around. Forgive me if I had to work out if I could trust you as much as you had to work out if you could trust me.” Her voice was timid, but there was a fight there—a fight I had to admire, even in the midst of the dark cloud and storm that was lurking overhead.

  “You knew Owen was betraying us,” I growled.

  “But not because Jon told me. I was never given that information. We don’t live in Babylon. Owen was a face I’d never seen before he turned up at my house one day, wearing normal clothes. There was no cut in sight. He didn’t even show up on a bike. He looked normal, but they always did, and when Jon asked me to leave the kitchen so he could talk to guests, I always did. Always. The less I knew, the better.”

  “Owen was at your home?”

  She nodded weakly, looking at Sutton for guidance but seeing nothing but confusion and concern shining back at her. I must have been the easier pair of eyes to stare into because her attention was soon back on me. “I heard them sometimes, and they sounded like good friends. Their conversations seemed light. One day, he stayed longer than any of Jon’s guests usually stayed. I thought he was long gone when I stumbled into the kitchen, not realizing he was still there. Jon didn’t shout at me in front of Owen, but I could see the irritation in his eyes as I walked through the room, dropped a coffee by the sink, and then turned to walk away. That’s when I saw it…”

  “Saw what?” I asked, not following.

  “The tattoo on Owen’s arm. It looked like yours. The one I’d seen across your chest when I’d cared for you in prison.”

  I looked up to find Ayda. I needed to look at something good when all I could hear was news that made me feel like shit.

  Ayda was staring at Helen as though she wanted to throttle her with her bare hands. The only thing stopping her was her loyalty to Sutton. She swallowed hard, pressed her lips together, and spoke through her teeth.

  “How often was he there?”

  Helen’s gaze shot to Ayda, “I don’t know exactly, but I don’t think I’ve seen him since Drew was released.”

  Ayda’s free hand balled at her side, her body leaning forward.

  “You didn’t think that was important? You don’t think that should have been the first thing you told us?”

  “I was protecting myself and my family.”

  “And I’m protecting my family,” Ayda spat, her hand came up quickly, fist balled as she swung like she had every time we’d practiced together, but she hit nothing. Sutton already had her around the waist and was pulling her away before she got too close.

  I didn’t move. Part of me wished Ayda had hit Helen, but another part knew that Ayda, once calm and rational, would hate herself for losing control that way. Plus, we had a bigger blow still yet to deliver. One that would show us where Helen stood once and for all.

  “I never asked to be involved in all of this,” Helen said quietly, looking between us all. “I never wanted—”

  “He’s dead, Helen,” I said coldly.

  Her attention snapped back to me, her eyes wide as she stared into mine, waiting for me to go on.

  “Jon’s gone.” I narrowed my eyes and curled my lip in disgust. “They killed him. Killed another innocent man, too. The people he’s been working with to get more power are the same ones who took it all away—stole his last breath.” Tilting my head to the side, I leaned forward. “They got to decide when the man who beat and abused you and made you a prisoner of your own life, died. Your family, the one you want to protect, has never been in more danger than it is right now.”

  Her mouth hung slack, tears gathering in her eyes and her skin turning pale while the rest of her remained still.

  “Your husband is dead.”

  Eric’s hand came up to my shoulder, making me pull back but not look at him. The squeeze of his fingers told me enough was enough, and I wanted to shrug him off and tell him to get the fuck away from me, but something inside me listened, and I stood tall again, doing nothing more than watching her as the news sank in.

  Pushing away from Sutton and glaring up at him as though he’d betrayed her, Ayda crossed the room, stopping next to me and glancing over at Helen who seemed lost in her own mind now.

  “You want to protect your kids, Helen? You need to tell us everything you know. What we don’t know could be what gets you all killed.”

  But Helen’s head had dropped, and now she was just staring at the floor as the news of her husband’s death took over.

  Sutton sighed, turning his attention to her and kneeling down beside her position on the bed. He placed a hand on her knee and waited until she looked up at him with sorrow in her eyes.

  “Do you know anything else, besides what you’ve already told them about The Mayor, The Navarro Rifles, and now the news of Owen?”

  “No,” she croaked, shaking her head. “I swear it.”

  “Did you know why Jon was so hell-bent on destroying Drew while he was in prison?”

  She swallowed loudly and sucked in a breath. “Jon had this vision. He saw himself above the law, like some kind gatekeeper to Hell. The ones who caused the most trouble on the outside were the ones he liked to hurt the most.” Helen glanced up at me, my name clearly on the tip of her tongue before she focused on Sutton again. “The Mayors around Texas liked the fact that he would hurt the criminals. If he hurt them, damaged them and made them weak, they wouldn’t be the same men they’d gone in as when they were finally released.”

  “That’s it? That’s the only reason?”

  “I guess word got out about what Jon could do. Soon clubs and gangs were coming to him from the outside, asking him to hurt people who’d hurt them while they were under his watch. He knew… everyone,” she breathed quietly. “That meant he knew everyone’s secrets, too. People will pay good money for those. It was a win-win situation for him.”

  Sutton’s breath caught in his throat as he watched her and waited patiently.

  “There isn’t much I know for sure,” Helen went on. “But what I do know is that The Mayor of Babylon shouldn’t be trusted. Jon spoke about him the most when he was loose-lipped and drunk.”

  “What did he say?”

  Helen looked up at me then—her final words ready to strike. “That he wanted to eradicate the MCs in and surrounding Babylon, and he’d do absolutely anything to make sure it happened while he was around, even if that meant working with one of them until he could figure out a way to destroy them all.”

  Eric cleared his throat behind me, and I spun around to look at him. His head was bowed, his hands behind his back as he stared down at his parted feet and rocked back and forth.

  “What?” I asked him roughly.

  Glancing up through the thickness of his brows, Eric held my gaze. “Time to let her go,” he said quietly.

  I knew he was right.

  Turning back, I focused on Sutton who was now rubbing Helen’s back with his free hand.

  “Chief?”

  He looked up at me and said nothing.

  “You care about her?” I asked, not caring how awkward that made anyone.

  With a small nod of his head, he gave me his answer.

  “Then her safety is on you. Put her somewhere where we can’t find her. Make her disappear. Get her the hell out of here,” I ordered calmly.

  I turned my attention to Helen, making sure she saw just how fucking angry I was in the hostile glare I gave her.

  “And I don’t care who you were trying to protect along the way, but it ends here. Today. You ever even breathe my club’s name again in your life, and I’ll feel the wind of it, and when I do, I will hunt you down, and I will do what I should have done the first time.”

  She blinked at me, her tears finally falling free.

  “I’ll kill you, Helen. I
’ll fucking kill everyone who gets in my way from now on if that’s what I have to do.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  AYDA

  The sun was high in the sky, and the leaves were finally starting to fill out on the big tree, the breeze rattling them as it rolled over the open space. It had been twenty-four hours since we’d had Sutton get Helen the hell out of Babylon, and not one of us who knew about Owen had been able to relax. Just knowing the rat bastard was lurking around corners, looking for something to feed right back to the people who hated Drew and the club the most… it made me feel violent. Trying to keep ourselves acting like we didn’t know was proving to be harder than I’d ever imagined. Understanding that I needed a break, Drew had suggested the one place in Babylon that Owen wouldn’t accidentally stumble upon.

  Pete’s Tree.

  Being out here in the open while Drew was lost in his memories made me feel like there were miles between us, and the shit that seemed to surround us constantly these days. I found it hard watching the other guys talking to Owen like there was nothing wrong. To just smile as they slapped the traitor on the back and laughed and joked with him. It was even harder to watch Tate and Rubin throwing questions about the inner workings of a V-twin engine at him.

  Picking at the long grass, I threw a couple of strands at Drew who had his back against the bark of the tree, his eyes distant. When those blue-green eyes fell on me, I smiled and pulled my legs closer to my chest so I could rest my chin on my knees.

  “Please tell me this is hard for you as it is for me. That you want to wring his weasel neck every time he pops up around a corner looking like he’s supposed to be there.”

  Drew had one knee raised, his arm hanging limply over it while his other hand rested in between his legs. For a moment, he just stared at me. “What do you think, Ayda?”

  “I think that was a stupid question on my part,” I huffed out, my eyes rising to the canopy above us. “I think that if you didn't have a plan, he’d be dead already. He just makes my skin crawl.”

  “If you knew the things I was thinking, the way I was imagining killing him, you’d never look at me the same way again. Fuck, I want to make him bleed so badly. And he will.”

  I rolled to my knees, shuffling close enough that I was between his legs, my hands resting on his knee and thigh. “I was lying in bed this morning, and… well, I was thinking the same thing. If you could see inside my mind…” I shook my head again. “What does it say about me that I want to see him bleed, too?”

  Drew’s hands slid up my thighs, his eyes finding mine above him while his palms rested under my ass cheeks and he tugged me closer. “That you love me and you’re officially as fucked up as I am?” He raised a brow and tried to hold back that arrogant smirk of his. He failed.

  “I don’t think you’re as fucked up as you think you are. I think you’re human. You want to protect the people you love. The only difference is, you’re willing to do anything to make that happen, and in this world of ours, that’s not the wrong answer.”

  “Know what I think?”

  The hand on his thigh moved up just an inch, and I smiled, watching the color of his eyes shift subtly.

  He pushed his chin forward, bringing his lips impossibly closer to mine so I could feel the twitch of a smile beneath the stubble that teased me. “I think I’m a lucky son of a bitch to have someone like you who makes the things I hate most about myself seem like things that are easy to love.”

  I closed that small gap between us, my mouth pressing against his with enthusiasm. My teeth sank into the flesh of his bottom lip for only a moment before he gave me what I wanted and growled, allowing me to take from him more deeply. Drew was intoxicating to me. Even in the most inappropriate moments, I would often find myself daydreaming about times like these, when we were utterly alone and free to exercise any desires we had. I had a lot when it came to this man. He was my only escape now.

  “I love everything there is to love about you,” I told him quietly.

  “Yeah, you do.”

  “Even your cockiness,” I huffed, pressing both of my lips to his bottom one.

  “And especially my cock.”

  “That’s a given.”

  He brought his hands up to my back, trailing them up each side until he had his arms hooked under me, palms resting on my shoulders. He pressed his forehead to mine, taking another one of those moments he seemed to savor so much these days as his eyes searched mine. “Shit’s about to get really real, darlin’. I know you’re ready for it. I know you can handle yourself. I know how strong you can be, but I need you to promise me one thing.”

  “I’ll promise you anything, except staying behind. I can’t do that.”

  “You know, sometimes you really need to stop trying to guess what it is I’m about to say. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you behind again. I meant what I said. Try again,” he said softly.

  “I had to cover all bases,” I said in the same quiet tone he’d used. “I’ll do anything for you. Tell me what you need.”

  He shook his head. “Anything covers it. You’ve made your promise now. I’ll hold you to it.”

  “Then I’ll also promise you everything as well as anything.”

  Drew’s sigh released a low moan of approval in the back of his throat. “Works for me.”

  I smiled against his lips, my body pressing against his needing to be closer to him.

  “Can we just stay here?” I asked. “Even if it’s just for tonight. Just you, me, and the stars.” I paused and lifted my hand to the bark by Drew’s head. “And Pete, of course.”

  He blinked up at me. “Just for tonight.”

  “It’s a good start, don’t you think?”

  “Sounds like a good way to start tomorrow.” He smiled.

  I pressed my lips against his again, not so desperate this time, just hungrily, my hands cupping his jaw as I slowed and rested my lips against his, my eyes still closed as I let the world carry on around us.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you,” he mouthed silently against me. The rest of the world ceased to exist. All the bad thoughts, the talk of revenge, the people who had betrayed us, the people who would pay—they weren’t there then. It was just Drew, me, and the stars. But as with all glorious things, it didn’t last, and Drew’s phone was soon vibrating in the pocket that rested between us, pulling his attention away as he huffed and reached inside his cut for it.

  “Rubin?” he answered in a way only Drew could get away with answering, his eyes focused on mine.

  “Drew?”

  “That’s who you called, kid.”

  “Shit, wait a second.” I could hear everything Rubin was saying as Drew held the phone between us, never looking away from me. A door seemed to shut wherever Rubin was before he came back to the call, a little breathlessly. “Remember that thing we talked about?”

  “I do,” Drew answered calmly.

  “Well, I might have the first bit of info for you.”

  Drew’s brows rose slowly. “I’m real interested to hear it.”

  Rubin sighed heavily, the nerves and tension rolling off his every breath. The kid was about to betray his father. A father he didn’t get along with, sure, but a betrayal of blood was still a betrayal of blood, no matter who that blood belonged to.

  “My dad is, apparently, arranging a surprise public speech tomorrow in the center of Babylon.”

  “What for?” Drew frowned.

  Papers were being shuffled, and pages turned. Whatever Rubin was doing, he was doing it away from prying eyes, and it was something that could potentially get him in trouble.

  “A lot of this stuff is in some kind of encrypted code, I’m sure of it, but I’ve heard some things over the years. Things I probably shouldn’t have heard. If I’ve understood this correctly, he’s publicly announcing his plans to agree to the sale of some land in the next two years. Land that’s previously been protected or owned by someone or something else.” Another rou
nd of papers being shuffled before Rubin’s voice came even closer to the speaker. “He’s planning on only a few people being there. People who already know about the sale so there won’t be many there to protest—if any at all.”

  “Doesn’t he have to go through some kind of public notice period for that shit? Weeks? Months?”

  “You’re saying that like you think he follows the rules.”

  “Good point.” Drew groaned, shuffling back and sitting upright, effectively forcing me to sit back and just look at him.

  “I guess he thinks he can just put it out there once and then sweep it under the carpet?” Rubin offered, making his suggestion sound like a question. He was seeking approval of some sort from Drew, the reverence clear in his voice even when he was panicked.

  “If he’s looking to do that, it means that land is worth a shit load of money to someone. Probably him.”

  “Maybe.”

  “You any idea of where this land is?”

  Rubin took a moment until he finally hissed with a little victory. “Shit, yeah. Here… there’s a line here that mentions the land around the junction of southwest county road thirty-one fifty, and southwest county road thirty-one sixty.”

  Drew’s face fell instantly, all the color draining away as he held my gaze and tightened his hand against me, his fingers digging into my flesh.

  “Rubin?” he breathed.

  “Yeah?”

  “Repeat that location for me.”

  “The land around the junction of southwest county road thirty-one fifty, and southwest county road thirty-one sixty.”

  For a moment, I was at a complete blank. I wasn’t sure why all the color had drained from Drew’s face. I couldn’t understand the sudden violence that had wiped away the man who’d just looked at me like I was the only thing in the world. It was only the second time Rubin had said the cross junction that everything clicked into place. I looked out over the field we were sitting in the middle of, and I watched a pickup roll down thirty-one sixty in the distance before turning onto thirty-one fifty and begin heading toward us.