WITHOUT SHAME: Babylon MC Book 4

by James, Victoria L.

  Owen’s breathing was a rasping sound, and he was struggling to drag in every breath he took, but the bastard smiled, revealing a chipped front tooth and missing bottom teeth. The hand of his holding the gun twitched, as though he was doing his best to find the strength to lift it and take Drew out with him, but he had nothing left, just a trembling of his finger.

  “They’ll... kill... you,” Owen choked, blood spilling from the twisted corner of his mouth. “Dead.”

  “They’ll try,” Drew answered smoothly.

  Owen’s eyes found mine, his nostrils expanding to drag in air. “You became... what you... hated.”

  I felt my lips twitch, not in humor, but cynicism. The one man in the club who hadn’t tried to get to know me… and he really didn’t know me at all.

  “You don’t know the first thing about what I love and hate.”

  “One minute,” Drew whispered, not biting at Owen’s remark. “Make it count, Sinclair.”

  Owen dragged his eyes from me, the slow roll indicating he wasn’t as in control as he’d like to think he was. His life was literally draining away from him, seeping into the fancy floors he’d spent shining and perfecting in the home he’d built from lies and betrayal. He didn’t look human lying there, half of him an open wound, half of him too bust up to recognize.

  When he managed to look at Drew through two swollen cracks, his body sagged, his chest deflating as all the air left him in a rush.

  “Fuck you, Tucker.”

  “Maybe in the afterlife, brother.”

  Owen took a breath as though he was going to speak, but the only sound was the booming shot of the gun as it emptied the bullet into his head. There was a tinkle of the bullet hitting the floor, the whisper of his body releasing the last of its tension then… silence.

  Eerie, impenetrable silence.

  The silence was so stark it felt as though the world had just frozen over.

  Neither of us drew in a breath for a moment.

  I counted one heartbeat, two, then three, and we seemed to inhale at the same time.

  I felt… nothing.

  I looked at Drew. The flecks of crimson had multiplied with him being so close to Owen’s body.

  Still, neither of us said a word. But we couldn’t stay here forever.

  “Drew, our prints are everywhere. We need to burn it all.” I felt oddly detached as the words left my mouth like I was experiencing an out of body experience. The lump of blood and flesh pooled below us seemed insignificant now Owen wasn’t a threat.

  Drew’s head rolled my way slowly, and his eyes connected with mine, sharp like the locking of two ends of a magnet. He blinked wildly, raising his hand to wipe away some splattered blood from his eye before he gave me his full attention. “You’re right.”

  My mind seemed to work a hundred miles an hour as I looked around the place, the logical part finally blocking out the slightly shocked part of myself. My eyes found the box that I’d put together, and I looked up to find several sets of keys on a small replica of a Harley, reminding me that there was a barn filled with vehicles sitting outside.

  “Give me a second,” I said, darting for the door. I only made it down two of the porch steps before I was sprinting to the barn and tugging open one of the doors. The space in the barn revealed even more than I’d seen at a cursory glance. Not only were there bikes and a car, but there were also several four-wheelers, dirt bikes, and a dune buggy that was tucked in the corner. I didn’t react. There was no point in it. He was dead now and couldn’t suffer any more for his betrayals.

  I did find what I was looking for, though. Several gas cans lined the wall under a workbench, most of them looking full. I grabbed one and hefted it back to the house as quickly as I could, trying my best not to pant as I almost fell through the door. They weren’t as light as I’d thought they would be.

  Drew glanced up at me as I set it down. “There’s plenty more out there.”

  “On it.” And no sooner had the words left his mouth and he was out the door, taking steady strides to go and grab the others.

  I took the can I had and moved to the back of the house. Starting in the farthest room, I pooled as much liquid as I could, lifting it and covering everything in a thick coating. I pulled a trail out to the hall and moved to Owen’s bedroom, soaking his mattress with the last of the can before heading back to the front and finding two more waiting for me.

  I moved through every room, meeting Drew halfway. The two of us made sure to include even the most insignificant things just so anything left would be burned beyond all recognition. Drew used the last can to take the trail out to the porch, making sure there was something for it to ignite along the path. I stepped back and set the box of information I’d gathered down in the grass, and I turned to stare at the pretty house.

  “We need to take care of the repo truck, too,” Drew told me, turning with a can in his hand and making his way over there. He took his time, like a true professional arsonist, spilling the liquid over all the places he wanted the fire to catch. The smell stung my nose as it clung to every bit of air around us.

  Drew came back to stand beside me, his eyes on the house in front of us, but I could tell something was playing on his mind. His body looked strong, but there was a crease to his eyes that was easy for me to read.

  “I have to do something,” he whispered suddenly.

  I nodded, my hand resting on his forearm for a moment before I vocalized it. “You need my help?”

  Drawing in a huge breath through his nose, he shook his head on its release. “No,” he answered, staring at the house. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

  He moved swiftly but precisely, his hand on the gun at his waistband just as he disappeared through the door of the house again.

  There was nothing but silence and the sound of the crows that seemed to circle up ahead.

  Then I heard a single gunshot go off that sent everything around us clawing and scattering for far off skies and trees they could hide behind.

  When Drew returned, he was tucking the gun back into his jeans, his eyes cast down as he made his way back to me.

  “Done,” was all he said, and I had no questions to ask.

  “Time to go,” I whispered. “But there’s one thing I need to do first.”

  Glancing over at the barn with the vehicles piled inside, the only thing that really stood out was a custom Harley. It was gorgeous, all black and chrome, and it had a custom paint job on the tank. The reaper skull sat closest to the front, but the hound was in front, snarling away from it, heading back to the rider. It was a beautiful ode to the club, but it also felt like a significant fuck you, the hound pulling away from the central figure. It also annoyed me that it belonged to Owen, especially as he wasn’t a Hound anymore.

  I could feel Drew watching me as I walked to the barn, but I avoided his glance as I switched the gears on the bike and started pushing it slowly from the barn and out into the light where the sun gleamed from the chrome. I made my way to the house, feeling the slow tingle of sweat beading on my forehead. As I got closer, the acrid smell of gasoline grew more pungent. I dropped the kickstand just in front of the porch steps, and I fought the urge to cover my nose as the smell started making me lightheaded.

  Leaving the bike where it was, I headed back to the safety of Drew and shook my head when our eyes met. “He doesn’t deserve anything with the patch on it when he goes to Hell.”

  Drew’s eyes were on mine, neither judging or expecting, simply there, watching me move around like he couldn’t look away. If we hadn’t have been in such a fucked up situation, it would have almost been erotic. Even in the midst of a living nightmare, Drew had the ability to look at me and make me feel like a queen.

  I gave him a small smile as his eyes flashed at me, and I opened my mouth reaching for him, only to jump as the shrill tone of his phone blared to life from his inside pocket.

  He pulled it out of his cut, brow furrowing when he glanced at the screen. The ringi
ng cut out before he managed to swipe to accept the call, but it was followed by another alert which had Drew’s hand working the phone until a familiar voice came to life on speaker.

  “Drew, it’s Kenny.” He sighed, leaving a dramatic pause, which only had Drew glancing at me with worry etching his every feature. “The cops were here, ATF, too. Slater and Jedd let them search the place, but they didn’t stop there. They didn’t find shit, man. Nothing, Drew, but they still asked Slater, Jedd, and Deeks to follow them to the station. They said they could go quietly, answer a few questions, or they could be forced there.” Another pause and I was certain we were both imagining the way Kenny would be wiping his palm back and forth over his forehead in worry. “The three of them volunteered to go. I just thought you should know. It’s getting messy around here, man. Real messy. You’re gone. Eric’s… Eric. Those three are out. I don’t know how to handle this shit. I don’t want to mess up for y’all. Call me back whenever you’re safe. And…” Kenny sucked in a breath, the sound of its release echoing down the receiver. “I hope you’re okay.”

  I could see Drew wanted to throw his phone rather than hang the damn thing up, but he did it anyway, looking tense as he did. We looked at one another for a long while. I couldn’t stand the thought of Deeks, Slater or Jedd having to spend a minute longer than they had to in that station when they were on a witch hunt for the club.

  “Should have known it wouldn’t be enough,” I whispered, shaking my head.

  Slipping the phone into the inside of his cut, Drew turned to me with a new urgency, his hands cupping my tender cheeks with a soft touch he reserved only for me. His eyes took it all in, all the blemishes Owen had left there and the way my eye was swollen, making one side of my face seem out of proportion to the other.

  He locked me into a small, private little world of our own, his eyes filled with so many emotions and his jaw ticking the way it always seemed to do these days. There was dried blood on his face, but not even that could distract me from the hunger I felt when I looked at him.

  “In all the madness of our lives since Harry died, I feel like I’ve forgotten to tell you one thing,” he said softly.

  I searched his eyes for the longest time, watching the subtle shift of color as the usual intensity between us began to grow.

  “I forgot to tell you how much I want to marry you, spend my life with you, find a way to make that life good, decent, and happy for both of us.” He rested his forehead against mine. “Thank you for being the only woman I could ever show myself to this way, and for not running the fuck out of here every time it gets darker in my world… our world.”

  “There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than by your side. No matter where that takes us.”

  Drew dropped his lips to mine, pulling me in for a sweet, slow kiss that felt more intimate than it should have, considering where we were and what we were about to do. When he eventually pulled away and sighed softly, he opened his eyes and stared straight into my soul.

  His smiled without humor, more resignation before he turned back to Owen’s house and grabbed my hand, letting them hang between us.

  “This won’t last forever,” he breathed, his eyes scanning the building in front of us.

  I looked at the pretty house one last time, my eyes drawn to the hound on the tank of the bike again as all the lies and betrayal rose again.

  “You wanna do the honors, or can I?”

  “How about we do it together?”

  I nodded, knowing it was the right thing for us to do.

  Drew pulled his gun free and held it down by his side for a moment, his finger on the trigger guard.

  He released my hand, and knowing what he wanted, I stepped closer, my hand wrapping around his and the gun as he rose it high, aiming it at the tank of the bike.

  We both took a breath, releasing it at the same time as our fingers moved from the guard to the trigger. The gun didn’t shake as we aimed. It was rock steady in our grip, ready to do our bidding.

  Then we pulled the trigger.

  I barely felt the recoil as Drew took the full impact, but there was no stopping the slight flinch when the bullet met its target with almost perfect precision, a metallic keening sounding only seconds before the whoosh of the gas catch ate up the last of the tentative silence.

  The heat from the small explosion touched everything. The gasoline did what it was designed to do, accelerating the flames’ path into the house until the sound of breaking glass announced that it had taken to every surface we’d served for it. I could feel the heat from the flames on my face, but neither of us moved. We stood there, transfixed, watching the white paint turn black and peel away from the siding of the house, the roar of the fire making the house crack and creak under the pressure of the flames.

  I felt oddly satisfied, even as I moved my finger and pulled my hand away, letting the gun drop to Drew’s side. This was my life now. There was no turning back, and I would never mourn the woman I had or would have been without Drew. This was the only place I wanted and needed to be.

  Drew’s shoulders relaxed, and he turned to me, the man who once saw himself as the ultimate bad boy, now looking into my eyes with respect, admiration, and most importantly… love.

  “It’s you and me forever, darlin’,” he said boldly, no doubt in his voice. “You… and me.”

  “Forever,” I murmured dropping my hand to my stomach wondering if there could be a baby inside of me. “Forever doesn’t seem long enough.”

  Epilogue

  ERIC TUCKER

  I wasn’t far from them when the text came through on my phone.

  I need to talk to you. Soon. Very soon.

  You know where to find me

  The deep swelling of pride hit me like an RPG to the chest every time it dawned on me just how far my son had come along in my absence. Drew may not have seen it, but I sure as hell did. I saw the natural leader in him, the tactician, too. I saw the way his men waited for him, their respect an invisible tattoo on their skin. He was their human god, and I had been absent for his whole goddamn rise to the top.

  Not a moment went by that the regret didn’t taunt me. I was a slave to it. A slave to all the mistakes I’d made that forced me to walk away.

  Now I was back, and my secrets were tapping on their coffins, demanding attention, trying to find a way to break free and rise from the dead. It was only a matter of time because I’d been a fool, and foolish acts had a way of resurrecting to ruin your life years down the line.

  There was no point trying to stop it. There were inevitabilities you couldn’t avoid, and sometimes it was better to strap yourself in and ride the fuck through them than try to avoid them like a coward.

  I was prepared to ride through it all to keep my own flesh and blood safe. I’d never been a coward. There wasn’t anything in the world I wouldn’t do to protect the very being I’d had a hand in creating. Sometimes protecting the ones you love meant walking away.

  But not today… or any time soon.

  For now, the old Eric Tucker was back. He may not be who he used to be, but he was stronger in ways that couldn’t be seen, and the entire force of Babylon should fear that. I wasn’t concerned with the futures, happy ever afters, or forevers. All my good times were gone, buried with my wife, six-feet underground.

  All that mattered to me was my today, and Drew’s tomorrow.

  He deserved those tomorrows his mother and I never got to have, and so did Ayda.

  As I looked up from my position on Drew’s bike, I saw the small clouds of black smoke start to rise from beyond the trees. It was time to ride in, pretend I hadn’t been following them the entire time or watching from a distance, and whisk the two of them away. They had lives to live, a wedding to look forward to, and a thousand days of good times ahead.

  We’d figure out a way to save the men and the club because that’s one thing Drew and I could and would always do. The only thing I had to figure out was how to save Drew without him fighti
ng and protesting.

  I meant what I’d said when I told him I’d take the fall in his place. Now it was down to me to prove it. Every day could be my last with Drew. His anger would find me soon, and there’d be hell to pay when it did.

  Hell didn’t seem like such a high price anymore.

  I’d take it for him. I’d take purgatory, too. I’d take whatever the good Lord deemed fit.

  What I couldn’t take was another day of secrets, lies, and distrust.

  Kicking the bike into action, the engine flared to life, and I looked up at the smoke signal that was calling for me, my fingers pulsing as my hands twisted the bars and my arms tensed.

  “Time to be the hero, old man,” I told myself, and then I weaved my way down an empty road, following the path to my boy, unsure what was going to happen when I whisked him away to a safer place, only to finally tell him everything I’d been hiding from him.

  From all the men.

  From myself, too.

  No one else was going to die, and if they did, I’d make sure it was me. If anyone out here deserved that fate, I was that man.

  To be continued… on one last ride.

  Without Forever, coming early 2019.

  Suggested Playlist:

  Into the Fire - Asking Alexandria

  Lullaby - JJ Grey & Mofro

  Gone Away - Five Finger Death Punch

  Marked For Death - Emma Ruth Rundle

  Don’t Hold Me - Sandro Cavazza

  Without Your Love - Chris Stapleton

  Him & I - G-Eazy, Halsey

  Un4gvn - Ruby Friedman, Two Beards

  Back to Life - Holy Wars

  Tears In the Rain - The Weeknd

  Howl - Jake Houlsby

  Dead Man’s Arms - Bishop Briggs

  The Widow - Che Aimee Dorval

  Overgrown - Mountains of the Moon

  From Can to Can’t - Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielson, Scott Reeder