My Safe Place

by Steph Poe

  I clear my throat, pick up my cocktail and slowly take a sip. He watches my every move. I try to act like it isn't affecting me. I need to be confident with this man. Even though he was the one to approach me, I need this to be on my terms. I set my drink back down on the table, taking my index finger slowly across my upper lip to wipe away any liquid.

  Crossing my legs, I turn towards him and lean my elbow on my knee. I rest my chin in my hand, using a finger to lightly tap my bottom lip. "Well, Cal. Now that we've got the pleasantries out of the way, what's your game?" I ask with curiosity.

  He throws his head back and laughs, clearly amused by me. He brings his hand to his face and rubs his beard thoughtfully. "I'm not playing a game with you, Lake. I don't play games, ever. I go after what I want. And after this morning, I've decided I want you." He leans in close to me, placing his elbows on his knees. Our faces are inches away from each other and I can feel his warm breath on me.

  We stare at each other. His eyes, I notice, are more of a golden brown than a deep chocolate. There even appear to be flecks of green in them. I am mesmerized by this man. It feels like there is an electric current running from his knee to mine and it's rising up my leg straight into my panties. He begins stroking a finger softly down my arm and the current flows from his finger and into me. I'm trembling at his touch and know that if I don't stop him now, I will never ask him to.

  I regain my composure and sit up in my seat. "Wow, I'm very flattered that you want me. But Cal, you don't even know anything about me. We just met. I could be a crazy person or awful in bed or just plain annoying," I say incredulously. "You have no idea. Maybe you're the crazy one for wanting someone you just met." I know I'm rambling as I tend to do when I'm nervous.

  He sits back in his seat, regaining his earlier position of ankle crossed over his knee and arm across the back of the bench. His eyes are serious as he lets my words sink in.

  I try to feel confident, like I finally have the upper hand. I may be hopelessly attracted to this guy, but I don't want to be overpowered by him. I may want him just as bad as he wants me, but I will be the one who decides when or if that ever happens. I will never let a man be in control of me again. My thoughts flicker to a completely unwanted place momentarily before his voice snaps me back into reality.

  His eyes have a fire in them as he leans in closer to me again. "I know I'm not imagining this feeling between us, Lake. You feel it too. I can tell by the way this gets flushed when you look at me." He raises his hand and caresses his fingers on my neck down to my chest. My heart rate increases and I am breathing rapidly once more. "And your breathing gets heavier. I bet if I trailed my hand down your chest to feel your breasts, that your nipples would be hard."

  Did he really say that? I have never had a man speak to me like that. Of course I've had men touch my breasts before, but no one has ever spoken the words to me like that. I always thought that dirty talk was a silly thing, just do it if you are going to do it. No one has actually ever talked dirty to me.

  At this moment, I have never heard anything sexier than Cal's voice talking about my nipples. Now my chest is heaving in obvious desire. I want nothing more than for his hand to slide down into my shirt and touch my now aching breasts.

  I stare at his lips, which are now parted and turned up at the side in a knowing smirk. He's going to kiss me. I feel this rush of anticipation and fear. I want him to kiss me. I want to live in the moment and just feel what I feel without fear of consequences. I want to let go and give in to my desires, but there is something holding me back. Always, there is the thing that interferes with all of my relationships. It's the flashback to the worst memory I have that snaps me out of the breathtaking moment I am in.

  "I can't do this." I suddenly stand up and catch his surprised expression as he stands up with me and grasps my forearm.

  "I'm sorry, Lake. I don't know what came over me. Please, don't leave." His all-encompassing golden brown eyes plead with me.

  "Cal, I really have to go. I have a busy day tomorrow and it's very late." I deliver the lame excuse and shrug my arm out of his grasp. "Will you please give my apologies to Ashton?" I don't wait for a response as I turn and walk out of the patio area and down the street. I can feel him stare at my back, but don't give him a second glance.

  I hurry down the sidewalk and back to my office. Taking my key fob out of my clutch, I push the unlock button, pointing it towards my Audi. I drop into the driver's seat and just sit for a few moments to gather my thoughts. My head falls back against the headrest.

  Tears begin slowly streaming down my face. Why am I letting my past mess with my future? Even though Cal is probably only interested in sleeping with me, I wanted it. I would welcome anything to drive away these terrible memories. I haven't been able to trust anyone in so long all thanks to that miserable piece of shit who ruined me.

  It happened three years ago and I still can't forget. I can still feel his unwanted touch and hear my cries falling on deaf ears as he ignored me.

  I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. I can't think about this right now. I wipe my tears away, sit up straight in my seat, start my car and pull out of the parking lot.

  I speed off down the road towards my safe place, my home.

  Chapter 3

  My house is my safe haven. It's the house I grew up in. When my mom passed away, it was a comfort to move into her house again.

  I had been living in an apartment downtown, on my own, since I graduated college. City life was so exciting and I really had loved it, but when my mother passed away, I felt a pull to move back home. It felt like she was still there in every detail in the house. It was a comfort to me in a dark time.

  It's a one story brick house with blue shutters on the front windows, located out in the countryside fifteen minutes south of the city. The house sits on five acres of land. There are trees everywhere, including one Japanese maple tree in the front yard that Mom and I planted when I was seven.

  I loved coming home to this quiet, serene place after being in the busy city all day. It's like I get to have the best of both worlds. Exciting city and quiet, country living.

  I pull onto the long, gravel driveway and reach up to push the button on the sun visor for the garage door to open. Tubbs is sitting, tail wagging, waiting to greet me at the door. I'm away from home a lot for work, so I have a doggie-door in the garage leading to the fenced in backyard. Tubbs can go in and out as he pleases. Luckily, I'm also close enough to the office that I can come home sometimes to check on him.

  I turn my car off and close the garage door.

  "Hey buddy." I bend at my knees to pet him. He licks my face in greeting. "How was your day, Tubbs?" I scratch behind his ears and his tail wags in appreciation. Tubbs is my baby despite being a seventy pound golden retriever. I've had him for three years now, since he was a puppy.

  I open the door to the kitchen, letting Tubbs follow behind me. I set my clutch and my keys on the countertop. My clutch starts to move and shake against the granite. I open it and pull out my phone. I was surprised she hadn't called sooner.

  "Hey Ash."

  "Lake, what happened? I came back and you were gone. What did that fucker do to you?" She is fiercely protective of me and I'm grateful for such a good friend. Although it can be annoying at times.

  "Nothing, Ash. I'm fine. I'm just super tired and wanted to get home, take a bath, and get to bed. I have so much to do tomorrow." I walk over to the french doors that face the backyard and open the door to let Tubbs run out and do his business. What happened with Matt?" I ask, deflecting the attention to her.

  I can almost hear her excited smile over the phone. "Oh my god, he is so fucking hot! And he's really sweet, too. Anyway, we are going out on Friday."

  "That's great, Ash."

  "Hey, I'm not letting you off the hook that easy. What happened with Cal? I can tell he totally likes you."

  I sigh and give in."He tried to kiss me and I freaked. I panicked, Ash. I don't k
now how to do this anymore."

  "Oh honey, I'm sorry. I know these last few years have been hard for you, but you've got to get back out there. Not all men are super big jerk-offs like Chris," she says, trying to be helpful.

  I shudder at the mention of his name. "Don't even say his name, Ash. Ugh."

  "Sorry, Lake. Okay, I'm getting into my car so we'll talk more tomorrow. Have a relaxing bath and just think about Cal. He might be good for you."

  I don't acknowledge her comment. "See you in the morning." I end the call and stalk off to my bedroom.

  I don't want to think about Cal. I don't want to think about my past. I just want to relax and enjoy a bath and maybe start reading a good book before I fall asleep.

  I walk into the bathroom and over to the deep, jetted tub that I love. Turning the water on, I fill the tub and grab some bath oil. The tub is surrounded by five lavender scented jar candles that I light one by one. I grab my phone and turn on my music app. The sounds of James Bay start flowing through the speaker.

  I unzip my dress and let it fall to the floor. I remove my bra and panties and let them drop too. Slipping my body into the warm fragrant water, I almost immediately feel better. I lie back and close my eyes, trying to soak away the stresses of the day.

  I make it through one song before I start to think of him. The way he looked when he walked into the conference room at my office. That dark brown hair framing his gorgeous face. Mesmerizing brown eyes staring at me intently. Nicely trimmed full beard around sexy lips that curled into the most ravishing smile.

  His broad shoulders and muscled chest fit so perfectly in that button down shirt. The dark chest hair peeking through the top. Man, I'm a sucker for chest hair. The tattoo on his forearm. What does it mean to him? It was a bird with some script that I couldn't read. Does he have any more tattoos? I'd like to see him in all his full nude glory and explore his body.

  I run my hands over my body. From my neck, down my breasts and over my belly. I shudder with longing, but it's not my hands that my body craves. It's his strong hands and warm lips that my body wants all over it, exploring every inch of me until I tremble with desire.

  I can no longer think of any logical reason why I can't have sex with Cal. He said he wants me and I can't deny that I want him as well. What's wrong with a one night stand between consenting adults? Nothing is wrong with it. Nothing at all. It's not like it will be anything more than sex.

  I've been alone for far too long and I'm ready to get myself back out there, even if it is just for sex. I smile to myself and sing along to my music. Decision made.

  Chapter 4

  The rest of the week drags. I go through the motions but am distracted by thoughts of Cal. I can't get him out of my mind. I try to keep myself busy, but everywhere I look in my office reminds me of him being here and how my body reacted in his presence.

  The way it felt when he looked into my eyes for the first time. How warm and strong his hand was. His tall, muscular body enticing me. The look on his face when he followed me into my office and closed the door behind him. The magnetic pull I felt as he walked towards me.

  All week long I've been suffering. I'm consumed with a need for him like I've never felt for any man before. When Friday evening finally arrives, I feel as if I might burst into flames at the very sight of him.

  I'm in my office finishing up some emails and trying not to constantly check the clock, waiting for six-thirty. Ashton walks in with a huge, knowing grin spread across her face.

  "So, are you ready for your date with Cal?" she teases me as she takes a seat.

  I look up from my laptop and glare at her. "It's not a date," I say defensively. "Business dinner. We'll be discussing furniture and types of wood grain or something." I stare back at my screen to avoid looking at her because I'm a shit liar and she knows it.

  Ashton laughs at me. "Okay, sorry. It's not 'officially' a date, but I know you like him and he likes you too. Are you gonna sleep with him?" she questions me.

  I flash a shocked look her way. I try to say, "No, of course not," but it comes out in a stammer. "Um, no it's um, only a business dinner, Ash." I brush my wavy hair over one shoulder.

  She mocks my movement and pushes her long, chestnut hair over her shoulder. "Well, if you remember, I do have a date tonight, with Matt. And I have every intention of sleeping with that fine man," she says shamelessly.

  "Yes, I remember. Have you talked to him since Monday night?" I question.

  "Yeah, we've kind of been texting all week. Is it bad that I already really like him? Just from meeting once and about a dozen texts this week?" She bites her fingernail and looks at me sheepishly.

  I flash a small smile at her. She has had a lot of shit boyfriends in the past. She really deserves to find someone who will treat her well.

  I walk over to the front of my desk and sit in the chair opposite her. "No, Ash. That's not bad, it's sweet. Matt seems like a nice guy. I really hope it works out for you."

  She grins excitedly at me. "Hey, you deserve to find some happiness too, Lake. I think you might find it with Cal, if you're willing to give him a chance." She pats my hand lovingly.

  "He probably thinks something's wrong with me since I just walked out on him Monday night. I haven't heard from him all week. What if he doesn't even show up tonight?" My brow furrows in worry. I hadn't even considered that. Although I'm sure he wouldn't do that. He's a professional and after all, this is only a business dinner.

  Just then, there is a small knock on my office door.

  "Come in," I call.

  Brynna peeks her head through the doorway. "Cal is here to see you, Lake." She flashes a toothy grin my way. "I'm going to take off. Have a great weekend, ladies." She pulls the door closed after we say our goodbyes to her.

  Ashton rises from her chair. "Well, this is it." She pulls me in for a hug. "Try to relax and have fun. Don't worry too much. Just go with the flow." She lets me go, but keeps her hands on my arms and winks at me.

  I give her an exasperated eye roll. "All right, I'll try. Have fun with Matt."

  "Oh, believe me, I will." She waggles her eyebrows. "Call me tomorrow. I want to hear all the details." She turns away and walks out.

  I grab my purse and pull out a compact and a brush, giving myself a once over. My blonde hair is a little messy, so I run my brush through the long tresses. My cheeks are already a little flushed in anticipation of seeing him. I apply some lip gloss and check that there isn't anything in my teeth. I apply a bit of my favorite perfume to my neck and wrists.

  Standing up from my chair, I smooth my black pencil skirt and straighten my white chiffon top. This is what I've been looking forward to all week. I take a long, deep, calming breath, grab my purse and jacket, and begin walking towards my 'business associate,' also known as the sexy man that has my mind and panties all twisted.

  *****

  As I step out of my office and pull the door closed behind me, I'm immediately hit with his clean, woodsy scent. I inhale deeply. I walk down the hall towards the front door where he is standing. If it's at all possible, I believe he is even more handsome than I remember.

  His dark hair is styled to one side. His beard looks shorter, like three days worth of stubble. He is wearing a black suit with a crisp, white button down shirt with the top two buttons undone revealing that dark, sexy chest hair.

  He's staring at me with an intense gaze and a small smirk forms at his lips. He looks me up and down, studying my body, and I feel myself shudder with anticipation. In his left hand, he is holding a single stargazer lily and his right hand rests lazily in his trouser pocket.

  I can't help the fact that I'm grinning like an idiot at him. Stargazer lilies are my absolute favorite flower.

  "Good evening, Lake. You look beautiful." He steps forward and hands me the lily.

  "Stargazer lilies are my favorite. How did you know?" I eye him as I take the flower from his outstretched hand. His fingers brush mine as I do. Again that spark is there.


  He shrugs nonchalantly. "I have my sources."

  "Thank you. It's a wonderful gesture, although this is only a business dinner." This time he rolls his eyes at me. I keep saying that but I think we both know there is more to this than business.

  "Well, what restaurant has the lady decided on for this evening's 'business dinner'?" He gives me a sideways glance as he leads me through the front door with his hand at the small of my back.

  "I made us a reservation at Marvin's Steakhouse. We have a private room so we can discuss our...'business'." I look over to see his eyebrows rise in delight.

  He leads me to his car parked askew right behind mine. It's a sleek and sexy black muscle car.

  "Wow, nice car. It's a Mustang, right? 1960s?" I ask.

  "I'm impressed, Lake. Yes, it's a '69 Boss 429," he states proudly as he opens the passenger door for me. I slide down onto the cool leather seat. The interior is black and beautifully taken care of. It's been modified from the original, boasting an impressive modern stereo. I'm curious to know what kind of music he enjoys.

  He opens the driver door and settles in his seat. Placing the key in the ignition, he turns it and the car rumbles to life. He revs the engine and the car vibrates underneath my seat. It sends a thrill through my entire body. I have a weakness for muscle cars, particularly for muscle cars with sexy men behind the wheel.

  Cal pulls the car out into traffic and heads down the road. I can't stop looking at him as he shifts the gears, reminding me of that chase scene in that movie with Steve McQueen. He turns his head towards me and sends a lascivious grin my way. It makes my panties wet with desire for this man. I run my hands up and down my thighs and try to keep them anchored although I desperately want to reach over and touch him.

  "Do you like the music?" he inquires. I haven't even been paying attention to the music because I was so entranced with him driving. I turn my eyes towards the stereo and listen. My lips turn up at the sides and I feel myself beaming as I turn and look at his profile. It's "Madness" by Muse. Muse is one of my favorite bands, and this song...oh my. The beat and the lead singer's sexy voice just heightens my already aroused state.