The Room Novelization

by Marcus Sullivan

  Mark turned menacingly to face Peter.

  "It's none of your business, man. You think you know everything! You don't know shit!"

  Mark went for the door, but Peter grabbed at him and pulled him back. "Hey, wait a second! Who do you think you are? You're acting like a kid! Just grow up!"

  Mark grabbed Peter by his collar and roughed him up some.

  "Hey!" he growled, "Who you calling a kid? FUCK YOU."

  "Look, just chill out Mark. I'm just trying to help."

  Peter stared deep into Mark's eyes, and suddenly everything was clear. Mark's odd behavior, his new married girlfriend, Johnny's troubles with Lisa...it all led to one inescapable, apocalyptic conclusion.

  "You're having an affair with Lisa, aren't you?"

  "What?"

  Realization dawned on Mark's face. He was caught.

  "What!?"

  "Am I wrong?"

  Adrenalin shot through Mark. He grabbed Peter and pushed him up against the ledge of the roof. Peter lay dangling above to city street.

  "What are you, nuts!?"

  Fighting against Mark's considerable strength, Peter flung himself free, pushing Mark and himself back onto the roof.

  They stood at opposite ends of the roof, breathing heavily.

  Mark approached Peter. Instantly, he regretted his outburst.

  "I'm sorry." he said, "I'm sorry, man. You OK?"

  "Yeah, I'm fine." Peter said, recovering well from the potentially murderous assault, "Let's just talk about your problem." Peter never backed away from his psychologist duties, no matter what the danger.

  "You sure you OK?"

  "Yeah." Peter said, then gestured for Mark to sit down on one of the silver chairs. Instead of sitting on them, Mark kicked them the fuck over in rage.

  He collected himself against the balcony.

  "Damn it, man. Fuck! Why do you want to know my secret, man?"

  Before Peter could answer, he added, "Well, you're right! It's Lisa. I don't know what to do, man. I'm so depressed. It's all her fault! She's such a manipulative BITCH!"

  Mark fumed with anger. If only there was some way he could have stopped Lisa from forcing him to want to have sex with her repeatedly. But there wasn't.

  "How the hell could you let this happen?" Peter said.

  "Fuck!" Mark replied.

  "You know this is going to ruin your friendship with Johnny. What were you thinking?"

  Mark closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

  "All right," Peter said, "You want my advice? Sometimes life can get complicated. And you got to be responsible. So you don't see Lisa again! And you definitely don't sleep with her again!"

  Mark shook his head in agreement.

  "Just, find yourself another girl. She's a sociopath! She only cares about herself! She can't love anyone!"

  Peter, as a trained psychologist, was certifiably trained to diagnose Lisa as a crazy bitch.

  "Whatever Peter, come on."

  The issue resolved, apparently, Mark gave Peter a little buddy-push, and the two men descended back into the building.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  "Oh, thank you. Yeah, thanks a lot." Johnny was on the phone with someone. He was wearing a tux in preparation for his wedding with Lisa, his future wife. Not the wedding itself, but the wedding photos, which they were taking a month before the wedding for some reason.

  Just as he was hanging up the phone with who ever was on the phone, Denny walked in. He was holding the football in his hand, and he too was wearing a tuxedo.

  "Oh, hi Denny! Nice tux! You look great!"

  "You look really handsome." Denny replied to his father-figure.

  Johnny simply laughed.

  "Your wedding picture is going to look great!"

  "Oh, thanks."

  Ding-dong! It was the door!

  Denny rushed over to open it. "Hey, Peter! Come on in!"

  "Oh, hey Peter!" Johnny greeted.

  "Hey guys." Peter said, closing the door behind him.

  "You look good too!" Denny said.

  Johnny gestured towards a sofa-seat. "Sit down!"

  Peter sat down.

  Ding-dong! It was the door!

  Denny rushed over and opened it. What he saw on the other side startled him.

  "Woah!"

  It was Mark. Clean shaven. He used to have a beard, but he didn't anymore. And it was blowing everyone's minds.

  "Wooooaaahhhhhh!" Johnny exclaimed in awe.

  "Hey guys." Mark said casually, like it was no big deal that he had just shaved his beard. "You like it?"

  Everyone answered at once.

  "Yeah! It looks good!" Peter said.

  "Yeah!" Denny agreed.

  "You look good," Johnny said, "you look like a baby face."

  Denny waved the football. "You guys wanna play some football?"

  "In tuxes? No, you gotta be kidding." Peter groaned.

  Denny turned to Mark. "Come on, Mark, let's do it."

  "I'm up for it!" Mark said.

  "Johnny?" Denny asked.

  Johnny gestured towards the sitting-psychologist. "Ask Peter!"

  "Come on, Peter!"

  "No, I don't think so." Peter said, shaking his head.

  Denny nearly got on his hands and knees to beg he wanted to football with everyone so hard.

  "Please!"

  Peter was steadfast in his refusal.

  "No."

  "Come on!" Denny said, and then he started chirping like a chicken. "Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!"

  Immediatly, Johnny and Mark followed suit.

  "Cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep!" They all chirped, flapping their arms in unison as if they too were chickens.

  Peter could do nothing but smile, and of course, moments later they were running down an alley in their tuxes, throwing the football back and forth, hollering all the way.

  "Catch, Johnny!" Denny exclaimed, throwing the football to Johnny.

  He caught in flawlessly. "Yeah! Nice snag!" Denny said.

  Johnny threw the ball to Peter, who caught it.

  "All right Peter!" Denny cheered.

  Peter threw it to Denny, who threw it to Mark.

  "Here we go Mark!" Mark intercepted the ball.

  "Come on! Come on!" Johnny encouraged.

  Mark chucked a low one at Denny's crotch. Denny grabbed it just in time, stumbling with the ball before getting a firm grip on it.

  "Fetch Mark!" he said, throwing it right back to Mark.

  Mark gestured at Peter to go long. "Go!"

  Peter stood for a moment.

  "Go!" Mark repeated.

  "Go deep!" Denny yelled out.

  Peter darted on his heel and ran out. Mark wound up, but before he could fire his fist canon full of pigskin, Peter tripped on himself and fell face-first onto the ground.

  His friends ran over to him in a flash.

  Denny smiled. "Gee Peter, your clumsy."

  "All right, that's it. I'm done." Peter grunted, pushing himself back up. "Great idea Denny."

  Johnny, Mark and Denny helped Peter up, then disappeared into the alley.

  And with that Peter, perhaps because he was tired of being mocked consistently, was gone from the plot.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The latte-machine sprayed loudly as Johnny and Mark entered the coffee shop. A woman in a black tube top ordered while her boyfriend stood silently at her side.

  "Um, I'll have a large peanut-butter cup with extra whip cream please." she ordered.

  "All right." The Barista responded, turning to her companion.

  "And I'll take..." he took a moment to study the menu, "Some cheese cake and a coffee!"

  "All right, well why don't you guys take a seat, we'll have that right out for you!"

  "Thank you." the tube-top girl said, and the couple went to take their seat, eagerly awaiting their deserts.

  And then another couple advanced in line.

  "Hi, how you doing?" the Barista greeted. "What would you like?" />
  "Can I get uh...bagel and an americana?" the man ordered.

  "All right, sure." And she turned towards his girlfriend.

  "I'm going to get a slice of cheesecake and a bottle of water." she said. Cheesecake was a very popular option.

  "Yeah, that sounds good! Why don't you guys have a seat and we'll have that right out for you."

  The couple went to take their seat, eagerly awaiting their deserts.

  Finally, Johnny and Mark arrived at the front of the line.

  "Oh, hi Susan!" Johnny smiled warmly at the cashier.

  "Well hi Johnny, how are you! Good to see 'ya! What would you like?" she said.

  "Hot chocolate please." Johnny moaned.

  "What size is that?"

  "Medium please."

  Susan turned towards Mark. "And how about you?"

  "I'll have a mint tea." he said.

  "OK. Medium also?"

  "Yeah."

  "Go sit down, we'll be right there!" , Susan invited, and got to making Johnny's medium hot chocolate and Mark's mint tea (also medium).

  The needlessly lengthy ordering process complete, Mark and Johnny took a seat.

  "I'm so tired of girls games..." Mark started.

  Johnny, although he was so tired of Mark cryptically complaining about women, nonetheless indulged his friend.

  "What happened now, Mark?"

  "Relationships never work, man. I don't know why I waste my time." Mark looked off out the window.

  "What makes you say that?" Johnny prodded.

  Mark looked down at the table, then back up at his best friend. "It's not that easy, Johnny."

  "Well, you should be happy Mark." Johnny said, genuine empathy behind the words. He wanted nothing but happiness for his best friend, no matter where he could find it.

  Mark sighed . "Yeah, I know. Life is too short."

  Susan arrived with Johnny's medium hot chocolate and Mark's medium mint tea.

  "Oh, thank you Susan." Johnny smiled.

  "Oh, you're welcome. How about something like...cheese cake?" Susan had received an extra-large shipment of cheese cake batter the night before, and it was going to spoil rotten unless she unloaded the whole thing within the next few hours.

  "Nah, no." Johnny murmured a negative.

  "It's real good!"

  "No."

  Susan could take a hint.

  "All right."

  And she left the men to their discussion.

  "How was work today?" Mark asked.

  "Oh, pretty good. We got a new client...at the bank. We make a lot of money."

  Mark snarled his brow in utter confusion.

  "What client?!"

  "I can not tell you! It's confidential."

  "Aw come on! Why not?" Mark rolled his eyes.

  "No, I can't. Anyway, how is your sex life?" Behind them, a segway crashed and burned on the street. Mark ignored it, shrugged and answered Johnny's question.

  "I can't talk about it."

  "Why not?" Johnny asked. Something was up.

  Susan came by with their bill, which no one had requested. "Take your time." she said, and went back behind the bar.

  Time? That reminded Johnny of something.

  "Oh, god. I have to run!" he said, standing.

  "All ready?" It had only been two minutes.

  "Yeah, I'm sorry."

  Mark nodded. "All right, its on me."

  "Yeah, see you Mark." Johnny said, raising his hand for a bro-five.

  "So you want to go jogging? Golden Gate Park?" Mark asked as their hands collided, over and over again, shifting from palm to fist in a best friend salute.

  "Yeah sure, what time?" Johnny said.

  "Golden Gate Park, six-thirty."

  "You're on!" Johnny said, then grabbed his coffee and made for the door.

  "All right, see ya." Mark called out.

  "Okie-dokie bye." Johnny said, and with that, he was gone.

  Mark took a long, hard, hot sip of his mint tea and wondered what he could possibly do next.

  * * *

  Hours later, Mark was walking up the spiral staircase of Johnny's bedroom, Lisa leading the way. He couldn't help but notice how great she looked in that black dress.

  She pulled him close to her. Mark pulled back.

  "What's going on here?" he said, confused.

  "I like you very much, Mark." she said, rubbing his shoulders. Mark could feel the blood rush from his head and throb down into his crotch. But he wouldn't let it get to him. Not this time. Johnny was his best friend.

  "Hey, come on. Johnny's my best friend." he said.

  "Just, one more time." she said, reaching under his sweated and rubbing his nipples. She his shirt up and off his head. And Mark didn't stop her.

  They kissed and she pushed him onto the bed. Mark pushed aside the shoulder of her dress and climbed on top of her. Then they made out like that for a long while.

  "Oh yeah..." Mark moaned softly.

  A half-hour later, Lisa took off her bra, revealing her right breast. They made out some more. Finally, after an hour of rubbing each others backs, Mark penetrated her and they made love in the missionary position.

  * * *

  San Fransisco has a long bridge called the Golden Gate Bridge.

  * * *

  Johnny pulled his white sedan over, parking it on the road next to Golden Gate Park. He exited the car to find Mark, his best friend waiting for him under a tree.

  "Hey!" Johnny called out.

  "Hey, Johnny. How's it going?"

  "Pretty good!" He said, and they locked hands in friendship.

  It was going pretty good for Mark too. He'd spent the day sipping on mint tea with Johnny, nailing Johnny's future wife and now jogging with Johnny.

  Mark grabbed the football (which of course he had because who wouldn't bring a football for a jogging date with your best friend) and chucked it over to Johnny. They both started into a jog, throwing the ball back and forth as they went.

  "What's new Johnny!" Mark asked, throwing the ball.

  "Nothing much!" Johnny said, throwing it back. "What's new with you man!"

  "Not much, man." Mark replied. They ran out together into the green. "Catch this!"

  "All right! Woo!" Johnny exclaimed.

  "Woo! Wee! Woo!" Mark yelped.

  And they went on like that, jogging awhile, then stopping to throw the ball then jogging some more, hollering and ribbing each other as they went. Two men playing as boys would. As best friends would.

  Johnny threw the ball at Mark, then ran at him, jumping on his back and hugging his bro.

  Mark struggled a bit and they both fell to the ground, grabbing and wrestling each other with an affection unrivaled.

  Mark and Johnny would remember this day for their rest of their lives. Mark because it was the last time him and Johnny were together, truly, as best friends. And Johnny because he didn't have much life left to live.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Lisa was sweeping up some stuff when the doorbell rang. Ding-dong! It was the doorbell.

  "Who is it?" she called out even though she had more than good idea who it was.

  "Delivery man!" Mark's handsome voice called out.

  She stood there, staring at the door. She'd lead him on just a little bit more...

  "It's me Lisa!" said Mark, "Come on! Open up!"

  Lisa smiled. "Come on in."

  Mark opened the door, which wasn't locked. Apparently Mark, like vampires, always requires an invitation before he can enter a house.

  "Hey Mark." Lisa purred.

  Mark walked past her, gently smelling her perfume. It was delicious.

  He looked around the house. Looking clean.

  "Wow, so uh. You gonna be ready?" he asked.

  "How do you mean that?" Lisa said with a twinkle of sex in her eye, "I'm always ready. For you."

  Mark smiled a handsome smile. "I mean for the party."

  "We have plenty of time...all I have to do is put o
n my 'party dress,'" she said, putting the broom to the side and slowly lifting up her red shirt, revealing the rolls of sexy-flab hidden underneath. "Come on."

  "Woah, woah, wait? What are you doing?" Once again, despite sleeping with her repeatedly for the past month, Mark was caught completely off guard by Lisa's attempts at seduction. That's what he loved about her. Her unpredictability.

  "Nothing." she said, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up over his stomach and above his head. She pushed him onto the couch and kissed his handsome lips.

  "You're so beautiful." Mark moaned.

  They kissed gently, and just as Lisa reached for Mark's throbbing crotch, a knocking came at the door. Knock-knock-knock-knock! It was the door.

  Mark and Lisa jumped to action, each quickly pulling on their shirts.

  "Hurry up, I have to open the door." Lisa said.

  "Wait! Hang on, hang on." Mark was having trouble with his sleeves.

  Lisa pulled down her shirt, and before Mark could finish pulling on his she called out, "Come on in, its open!"

  Michelle opened the door to see Mark's head go through the neck hole of his sweater. She smiled a big, knowing smile. "Uh, hi!" she exclaimed, and entered. "I brought the stuff." She was holding a bag of party-stuff.

  "I knew I could count on you." Lisa said.

  The girls giggled. Haha! Adultery!

  "Hi, Mark!" Michelle said, turning her attention to the handsome man, "XYZ"

  "What are you talking about?"

  "Examine your zipper!" Michelle giggled out.

  Lisa burst out into another fit of laughs.

  Mark shook his head and zipped that Z right on up.

  "You guys are too much!" Michelle laughed. "So, what can I do to help?"

  Everyone smiled at each other and laughed and laughed. There is nothing funnier then walking in on your best friend cheating on her future-husband with his best friend.

  "I gotta go." Mark said, then turned towards the door and left. Michelle and Lisa took a seat on the couch, still giggling.

  "Wanna help me move the coffee table?" Lisa asked.

  "Okay."

  And so they got off the couch.

  "What was he doing here?" Michelle asked, all though she had more than good idea on what he was doing here.

  "Ah...he just brought by some take out." Lisa said. They walked over to the coffee table and each took a side. It was an extremely heavy, dense coffee table and required both of them to shove it to the side of the room.