Elf Killers

by Phipps, Carol Marrs

  "No-brutes be mudful hollow-heads. Gut-rip-birds bloody-rip no-brutes..."

  "Where-be Da?"

  "Gnydy be mudful hollow-head. Gut-rip-bird bloody-rip Gnydy..."

  Ninar-dern gave a rasping sob and furiously wrenched away from Fnanar's grasp. "Where-be grab-up-squeakers?" she snarled. "You-said grab-up-squeakers, grab-up-squeakers, grab-up-squeakers."

  "No-be..."

  She gave a grating squeal and flung her flint skittering away into the lava tube. "You no-be big-big Thunder-man!" she shouted. "And I no-be your big-big milk-sow," and with that she dashed from the cave and kept on running.

  Fnanar sank into his pile of skins and heaved a heavy sigh. He heard running footfalls and sat up. "What do you want Phnyr-phaf?"

  "I look-saw Ninar-dern run away over the top. She-be trot-loping down the other-side by-now. She went-by with a face like dark wolf-dog stinker-dung..."

  Fnanar sprang to his feet and thrust his chest at Phnyr-phaf with a two fisted thump. "I don't need stinker-sows!" he boomed. "I sent her to whimper-crawl at Dyr's heels for turn-back darty-eye-runoff with us. If he not head-smash her, she can snuffle-champ the pee-spot stinker-bones with the wolf-dogs." He threw back his head and laughed roundly.

  Phnyr-phaf was careful to laugh for as long as Fnanar. "You no-be rolly-eye that Ninar-dern will sly-say our no grab-up-squeakers...?"

  Fnanar grabbed him by the throat. "Ninar-dern be turn-back run-off. Gnydy be Dyr's slit-eye jump-bite and Ninar-dern's Da. Ninar-dern will be big big-nod-lucky if he doesn't head-smash her, first-look. Big-nod?"

  "I big-nod big-nod your every-all-say, Thunder-man," coughed Phnyr-phaf as he strained to breathe.

  Fnanar shoved him against the wall of the lava tube. "You will no-no open-mouth tell-of Ninar-dern any-once if you no-like head-smash."

  "Who-be Ninar-dern, Thunder-man?"

  "Good. Go ay-ooo, ay-ooo, ay-ooo the brutes to my big-rock. It be time to dance plans to go-show grab-up-squeakers who be their thunder-men."

  The cramped hall at the end of Vorona's house flashed pink and blue right before a deafening boom made everyone jump. Olloo concluded his testimony by thanking the council and took his seat at the great round table. There was a pause as everyone listened to the torrent of rain drenching the thatch over their heads. Brenden closed his inkwell and stood up.

  "Well now, you've all heard Olloo's account of how the strike falcons saved him and the other children from the Marfora Siofra during last night's raid," he said, speaking up. "And many of you in this room saw for yourselves how Doona's shawk spoogh, Onner, almost certainly saved Oisin's life by killing three out of the four trolls which had set upon him with clubs. And if by chance you happened at that moment to be too busy fighting trolls to see for yourselves, surely you saw Onner afterward, valiantly fighting alongside us until the curses were routed. We had no casualties. Every single one of our children was spared, and there are above five and twenty slain trolls out in the grass right now. And did you not hear him say that the kids have only trained the strike falcons to hunt? What we have witnessed is merely a sample of these birds' valor. These birds chose to do this. Can each of you picture what might be accomplished if these birds were trained to fight with us? What if we take the kids' little falconry pastime seriously and choose to expand it?" He paused, looking 'round the table at the unreadable faces.

  "You're proposing that we raise a much larger number of the birds and train them to kill trolls?" said Martyn.

  "Indeed sir, that is exactly what I am suggesting."

  "I've heard that the children have been teaching them to hunt game for their families' tables," said Donachan as he traded looks with Martyn. "Is that working?"

  "It certainly is. Olloo's shawk spoogh, Baase, as a matter of fact, brought down a magnificent six tine buck for us last week."

  There was a stir of murmurs amongst the council members, particularly the mossbacks who had been most opposed from the beginning to Olloo or any of the children having strike falcons.

  "So," said Donachan, "you suggest training them to include the Marfora Siofra as another kind of quarry?"

  "To render us the most effective. Remember that our children are alive and with us this morning in spite of the birds having no training to slay trolls. Training and more shawkyn spooghey may very well end the Elf Killer menace for good.

  "But I'm not suggesting that we train the strike falcons in order to actually go out and hunt down trolls," he said, speaking up over the rising murmurs. "What I am saying is that the strike falcons show such loyalty to their bond mates, as they refer to both master and bird, that they will do everything within their power to guard and to protect them. It would seem then, that if we had a commanding number of strike falcons, each bonded to its austringa and trained, that we would at last have a way of completely protecting ourselves against the trolls."

  "Well said," said Vorona as she rose to her feet and glanced around the table while the room hushed. "Thank you, Brenden. Please have a seat." She paused, waiting for a peal of thunder to subside. "The cursed trolls are upon us again, ladies and gentlemen. You all know very well that they'll be back. We may have run them off, but when they come back they'll know what they must overcome in order to go on eating us. And even if they're somewhere licking their wounds this morning, you can be certain that they are planning this very minute to return, and that they'll not stop until there is not an Elf left alive in Lobadh."

  "But we are so few," said Creena and Rory's mother. "Even with all the children, we number scarcely fifty. Who would be these trained strike falcon handlers? You surely don't mean to use the children."

  Vorona glanced at Brenden's eye. "It's because we are so few that we've no choice, Brede," she said as a fiery look swept across her face. "In fact, if we're well protected, everyone needs to at least make the attempt to bond with a strike falcon, even you." She paused, waiting for the laughter to die away. "Do some of you think I'm being excessive? How many trolls have we guessed there to be over the years? Eight hundred? A thousand or better? And you point out that we are fifty? Oisin slew two troll last night. Did any Elf here slay more? Do I need to remind you that Doona's valiant bird slay six? What's fifty times six?"

  "So the Council's decreed that every man, woman and child should be bond mate to his own strike falcon, aye?" said Oisin.

  "Yea," said Olloo, "and they expect me to take charge of the whole thing. I'm supposed be the master of the undertaking. Can you imagine? I'm just a kid."

  "Sounds like a good idea to me," said Doona. "You were the first one to dare raise one. And you were the one who discovered that you can share thought pictures with one, just like with tarraing pictiur..."

  "It takes a person, born with the ability to trade pictures with the picture catcher unicorn, in order to be able to do it with one of them," said Olloo, "but I think just about anybody can share pictures with a strike falcon, so long as he and the bird have a bond. Everyone who has a strike falcon so far can share what he sees in his own heart with his bird. You'd think that if he had to be born with a special gift to, that not everybody..."

  "Yes," said Doona, "but you were the first to figure it all out, and you were the first one to train one to hunt, and the first one to..."

  "Maybe I was, but having me in charge of all the austringas, is like having me in charge of some kind of army. I'm just a kid."

  "And the mossbacks think you're the best for the job," said Oisin.

  "And," said Doona, "I know very well that you'll do the job the best you can and that you'll succeed. You always do."

  "Yea? Well, now I'm going to be forced to work my tail off so I can prove that everyone's trust in me hasn't been misplaced. I guess that'll keep me out of mischief for the rest of my life. I've got plenty of work ahead of me and I might as well get to it," he said as he rose from his chair and paused by the door. "We go after eggs first thing tomorrow morning, Oisin. Make sure you're armed in case we run into uncooperative parents." And with tha
t, he stepped out of their new cottage into the wet morning and closed the door.

  On the other side of the mountains, the following evening, Dyr lolled on his rock in front of the Hooter Cave while it grew dark and drummed his fingers as he listened to a shivering owl flying from tree to tree, giving breezy whistles as it searched for voles. "Boof!" he thought as he smacked the rock and sat upright. "It's all-got ho-humdy. The jump-bites are just hunt-grabs. And the grab-ups? They're just beasties and hairy-ho-hum-champs. There no-be no-be juicy juicy-champs since all the grab-up-squeakers went no-see no-see. I no-even have to choose who hunt-grabs, since no-be Fnanar." He closed his eyes, listening to the owl.

  "Uh...Thunder-man?" said Dyr-jiny.

  Dyr opened his eyes with a start to find Dyr-jiny standing in front of him with two brutes and a particularly handsome young sow.

  "Tre-fini-fyrd and Fnad-irr-fanf look-saw her easy-sneaking, just down the hill."

  The two brutes gave her a rude shove forth in spite of her complete cooperation.

  "Why you-be here, Ninar-dern?" said Dyr with a magisterial squint to hide his finding her most attractive.

  "I have big-nod-say, big-nod-say which got my Da gut-ripped all to bleed-out and got-me rolly-eye-bottom-ho-ho-slapped," said Ninardern, looking him straight in the eye. "You-must-must big-nod that Da no-be turn-back run-off. I no-be turn-back run-off, not like Fnanar and his brutes. Da went with them to learn their hee-hee-think so he could nod-say it to your-ear. I was giggle-grabbed. Da and I big-big always-be your Dyrney..."

  "Then nod-say this hee-hee-think now," said Dyr.

  Ninar-dern respectfully stepped forward and licked the top of his foot. "Fnanar big-head-nods to jump-bite the no-see no-see grab-up-squeakers," she said, standing straight to look him in the eye. "When you and the True-dyrney come to champ-feast and juicy-eat at the big big grab-up-squeaker roast, he big-nod hee-hee-thinks he'll make you howl-bleed howl-bleed before he head-smashes you in-front of all Dyrney. Then, he will-be big big Thunder-man."

  Dyr snorted. "Grab-up-squeakers no be. They-all got-lost in the water-top mountain crawly-holes. Your da Gnydy big-nod-said this to me. Did he sly-sneak-say me all to hooter-fool?"

  "No. When Da heard Fnanar head-nodded that grab-up-squeakers still-be, he big-nod that his think be all tumble-down, and he followed Fnanar to look-see where-be. Da big-nod to put where-be in your ear."

  "And did Gnydy and Fnanar find no-see no-see still-be grab-up-squeakers?"

  "They live-with the gut-rip-birds who bled-out Da, out out out in the deep-grass sea, past the up-down of the mountain."

  "Which come out-of -her mouth, shaman," said Dyr, suddenly turning to Dyr-jiny, "nod-say or sly-sneak-say?"

  "Nod-say, all nod-say."

  Dyr leant back on his rock. "So. They bushy-tail heart-thump. After all these night and night and night and nights, they still-be bushy-tail heart-thump." He looked up at Dyr-jiny. "Pick-out brutes to hunt-grab ho-hum-beasties for-now. Let Fnana-fnyr thunder-lead them. You stay-here." He looked down at Ninar-dern. "And you-too. We have much to put in each other's ears."

  Chapter 16

  Dyr sat by the fire pit, staring balefully into the flames as he gnawed and yanked at a deer rump, grease dripping from his elbows. There were moments when he looked as if he might be grinning, but it was only the stringy meat in his teeth. "This deer must-have been an-old rough-haired stiff-wobble," he said with a deep guttural belch, as Fnana-fnyr sat beside him with a foreleg from the same animal.

  Fnana-fnyr twisted off a bite and chewed for a good while. "Umm-humm," he said at last. "I nod-think he near-was ready to fall from stiff fog-eye stumble-down. The brutes ran him off the bluff-top anyway and head-smashed out his-eyeballs where he lay at the bottom with big rock, big rock, big rock."

  Dyr squinted, smacking his lips as he chewed, and then twisting and twisting on another bite before giving up and cutting it off with a piece of flint. He held it up for a pair of wolf-dogs to see. The moment they dashed over, he flung it into the fire. "Is this the best the brutes can hunt-grab?" he said.

  "Yea. They'll not try and try and try and try for ho-hum-hairy-beast when they

  big-nod-think, big-nod-think that grab-up-squeakers be somewhere."

  "Why you not say this before?"

  "You-be all growly-turn-away since the grab-up-squeakers go-all no-see no-see," said Fnana-fnyr with a shrug as he looked at his toes, speckled with grease, wriggling in the dust and ashes. "And you be growly-turn-away, growly-turn-away, growly-turn-away after you ooot-ooot thump-chest shaky-head point-away at Fnanar and his brutes. So I big-nod-think maybe you point-away me, even thunder-thump me if I be trouble. And here I be, trouble for my bad-big-nod-think, so I get point-away thunder-thump anyway..." He squeezed shut his eyes and turned aside, waiting for the blow to come.

  Dyr's blow was a shock even though Fnana-fnyr was braced for it. It flipped him backward off his log to sprawl on his back in the dirt. Before he could quite see straight, Dyr had him pinned. "Mudful hollow-head!" roared Dyr. "You-be the only family I have. If I ooot-ooot thump-chest shaky-head point-away you, who gets my skins, my beads? Who gets to be Thunder-man if I give up my rock? And Dyrney all-be in ruin until you-be Thunder-man and give-up your first-son to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne." He rolled back on his haunches and studied Fnana-fnyr's face. "I head-smashed Dyyp too late to give up first-son to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne. I try to give up Gyrn's first-son, but you see how that be, and Gyrn go-be brute for Fnanar. Everything all tumble-down until you-be Thunder-man and you give your first-born to Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne by having your Dyrney-brutes juicy-eat him. Then glory-be all-Dyrney."

  "Isn't that a long time to wait?" said Fnana-fnyr, rising up onto an elbow in the dirt. "A-lot could tumble-down by-then. The brutes grow more-and-more foldy-arms wiggle-huff."

  "We might go-longer if we jump-take sneak-away drop-in-ear hee-hee-brought by Ninar-dern."

  Fnana-fnyr picked up his deer leg and eased back to the fire to turn it in the flames some more while he waited for Dyr to continue.

  Dyr picked up the rump which he'd left draped across the log he had been sitting on, gave it a couple of thoughtful sniffs and heaved it into the fire before sitting down on the log. "She drop-in-ear that the no-see no-see grab-up-squeakers are over the water-top mountain-rocks, out out out in the deep grass sea with big-big gut-rip-birds all-round," he said as he flicked a pebble into the fire pit. "Fnanar found them but got jump-bit by the gut-rip-birds. He came-back with brute, no-brute, brute, no-brute, brute, no-brute and no grab-up-squeakers. When he has more-brutes he'll go-back. Just nod, nod-think, he has Gyrn, and Gyrn has big big-nod from Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne."

  "Ninar-dern gobble-said all-this in your ear? But she was big sow to Fnanar, wasn't she? Can her words be nod-say?"

  "Dyr-jiny said nod-say."

  "So do we tramp-tramp to the deep-grass sea and jump-bite grab-up-squeakers, all humde-dumdle to head-smash a path through big-big flocks of gut-rip-birds?"

  "That should no-be ho-hum for young-brutes, and it do-be for grab-up-squeakers."

  "But until Arrdsey-phnyr-phey-fne gets a debt-baby, Da, won't we get bloody-ripped like Fnanar?"

  "I big-big nod-so, but it-will give each Dyrney the same big-wrinkle-face nod-together to keep things from tumble-down until debt-baby."

  "Why-not giggle-grab a new big-sow? All-kinds would be jump-up-and-down breast-flap big-nod to be Big Sow to Thunder-man and carry your kids."

  "But all of the run-around-giggle-sows are young," said Dyr, sitting back wide-eyed.

  "Old enough to get-heavy and drop kids," said Fnana-fnyr with a shrug.

  "Hoof!" said Dyr with a faraway look in his eyes. "Maybe we'll soon show Fnanar what a holdy-nose flabber-toomph for Thunder-man he be. I may even big-nod the perfect sow to grab."

  It was still dark when the dour Elf woman gathered up the skirt of her leine and stepped into the wet big bluestem grass. "Would someone tell me why we have to be out in the Strah before the crac
k of dawn?" she said. "Isn't this when the shawkyn spooghey begin their daily hunts?"

  "You volunteered with the rest of us, Brede," said Vorona, as she waded through the grass behind her, "so it's our turn first. And as for the chosen hour, I'm sorry to say, but the strike falcons determine that. Olloo says that the only time both birds leave the nest is right at sunrise. One of them goes out to hunt and the other one comes back right away to sit on the eggs all morning."

  Brede fell silent and made a childish face which was ugly even in the dark, but filed into the tall grass with everyone else.

  "The wild strike falcons make grass nests a foot and a half across in the middle of big mounds of grass and sticks, maybe three feet high by about ten feet across," said Olloo as he walked, looking from side to side at Vorona, Roseen, Kieran, Oisin and Doona, Brede, Nessa, Markus, Donachan and Martyn to see if everyone was hearing him. "They place these in loose colonies, ten to twenty rods away from each other in all directions. I've been watching an especially large colony not quite a league north of here, so that's where we're going. I just hope we're not too late getting started."

  "So what do we do when we get there?" said Oisin as he held Doona's hand and tramped along beside him.

  "I want to leave everyone in a group," said Olloo, "armed and ready and out of sight of the colony while I scout about the nests to see if the birds are away. If they are, I'll gather eggs and fetch them out, two or three at a time."

  They fell silent right away as they struggled through the grass, trying to keep up with him, since he was quite afraid that they were late. Just before the sun peeped over the Eternal Mountains, he made them kneel in the grass back to back with their bows ready and then he disappeared into the waving grass. A redwing blackbird circled overhead, scolding. He was back in short order with four eggs, which he handed to Vorona, Roseen, Nessie and Markus before vanishing once more. Right away he returned, catching his breath as he handed out eggs to Brede (who beamed with delight in spite of herself), Donachan and Martyn. "Hey!” whispered out Kieran as he pointed away through the grass. "Isn't that a nest, yonder?"