Hell House Returns 4: Reality TV Drama

by Brenda Hampton

  “So, tell me about yourself,” he said, wringing his hands together. “Are you married, engaged, taken, available, not interested . . . what?”

  I walked his way and sat on the bed across from him, crossing my legs.

  “I’m not sure how to answer your question yet, so why don’t you tell me what’s up with you first?”

  His eyes scanned my legs then he shifted them to the floor, as if he was in deep thought. That let me know instantly that he wasn’t prepared to answer me either. But within a few more seconds, he lifted his head and spoke up.

  “I’ve been engaged for about a year or so now. I’m unsure about the woman I’ve been on-and-off with, because she’s been real confused about who or what she really wants. I have a difficult time dealing with people who can’t make up their minds, also with women who are dishonest. We have a child together, so I’m trying to see if we can get things to work for the sake of our child.”

  “It wouldn’t be wise to hang on for the sake of the kid, but I do understand why so many people do it. I also have a hard time dealing with people who can’t make up their minds, especially when they already know, deep down, who or what they really want.”

  Keith nodded, and as he went on to tell me more about his background, I inspected him all over. The colorful tattoos on his arms told me he was a creative man. His narrow eyes showed hurt. The way he spoke was sexy, but the sadness took over his voice. Even though he was handsome and stable moneywise, I knew that after one night of sex with him I would break his heart even more. I was very particular about who I gave my goodies to these days, and unfortunately, Keith would be a step down for me. With that being said, who knew what would happen in this house? He definitely had my attention for now.

  “Are you here for money, business or pleasure,” he flat out asked me.

  “I’m not exactly sure yet. Ask me that in about another week or two.”

  We both laughed, and when the door opened, both of our heads snapped to the side. In walked the president. This time he was alone.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I need to remove a few items from my luggage.”

  “No need to apologize,” I said, standing up. So did Keith. “We were just leaving to go outside for a swim. After you get settled in, hopefully, you’ll have time to join us.”

  With his hands dipped into his pockets, he nodded. “Maybe so. We’ll see.”

  I let Keith exit first, and when I turned to see if the president was watching us, he wasn’t. He had gone into the closet, carrying one of his bags with him.

  When Keith and I returned to the living room area, all eyes were fixed in our direction. I figured everyone must’ve thought we’d been in the bedroom hooking up, and the person with the tightest face was Evelyn. I wasn’t sure what her connection was to Keith, but I’d heard her mention something about her best friend. In no way did I come here to interfere with anyone’s relationship, but in my opinion, it was always left up to the man to decide if he was willing to take the risk. That went for married man too, but whatever. I mean, Roc was fine as hell—too fine—but that ring on his finger kept flashing at me every time he’d said something to me. The ring made me think about Mario, about what he’d done and how unfortunate it was that I had to end things. A ring was just a ring, I guess, and I was shocked to see the president wasn’t wearing one.

  The whole world knew he had issues with his marriage. It had been in the news almost every single day, and the last thing I’d heard was the first lady had moved out of the White House. I’d also heard she moved back in, but there weren’t many media outlets reporting that. I assumed he was here because, like all of us, he needed to get away for a while and chill. I wasn’t sure if Hell House would allow him the level of peace or privacy he needed, and according to the paperwork I’d received from the producers, there was a chance this could all wind up on TV. It hadn’t been confirmed, but it was a possibility. How he would ever be able to explain why he was here, I wasn’t sure, even though he was so good at explaining things via TV.

  “I’m glad you came out of that room,” Chase said in a slick tone as she eyed the bikini I still had on. “I thought the president had locked the door and the three of you were indulging yourselves.”

  I quickly let her know that was not what I was about.

  “That’s not really my thing, and after speaking to Keith, he doesn’t seem like the kind of man who would be a willing participant to anything like that. Maybe you would be, and that’s your prerogative. I’m not knocking you one bit. Just making it clear that it’s not for me.”

  Chase ignored my comment and started to put on more red lipstick, as if she needed more. She didn’t even need all of that foundation she’d had on, and, hopefully, by tomorrow it would all be gone.

  “I can’t speak for Keith,” Roc said. “But just about every nigga I know would be down for a threesome, particularly when two women are involved.”

  Keith agreed, but said he wasn’t interested in going there “at the moment.”

  “A big no for me, if we’re talking about the president being involved,” Keith said. “I already feel a little uncomfortable around him, and I’m not sure how to conduct myself with him being here. Never in my wildest dream did I expect this.”

  Everyone else agreed, with the exception of Roc and Jada.

  “Him being here don’t bother me one bit,” Roc said, shrugging his shoulders. “Be your fucking self. I’m sure he would want us to be.”

  “I agree. It is what it is,” Jada said while stirring something in a bowl. “I’m baking y’all a cake, and once I put it in the oven, I’m gon’ make y’all some of those little summer rolls that look like eggrolls. I’ll whip up some ham fried rice too. It should take me about another hour or so to have everything done. We’re having fried chicken for dinner. I hope y’all like chicken, and if you don’t, please raise your hand.”

  Nobody raised their hand, but Evelyn questioned what a summer roll was.

  “It’s an eggroll that you eat in the summertime,” Jada said with a twisted face. “I mean, what kind of stupid question is that?”

  “I thought it was a spring roll, no matter what season you eat it in,” Evelyn replied.

  Jada stopped stirring the batter and sighed. “Let me get a few things straight around here, before I have to punch somebody in the face. I say some fucked-up shit sometimes, but please don’t correct me, especially when y’all already know what I mean. I’m not the only one who say things that don’t add up, and even my friend with a Ph.D. get the words they, their, and they’re mixed up sometimes. Get over it and move on.”

  Jada had a real slick mouth, but I kind of liked her. She kept it real, no matter what. Chase and Evelyn appeared taken aback by her tone, but it didn’t bother me as much. The two of them, however, did. I hadn’t put my finger completely on it just yet, but their continuous stares and comments already told me that I damn well needed to watch my back.

  ROC

  St. Louis was small. Everybody knew somebody that I knew like the back of my hand. The president had quite a reputation in the streets. Nobody ever predicted that he would occupy the Oval Office one day, but only stupid motherfuckers counted out black men who were not only street smart, but book smart too. I was proud of the brotha. Real proud, and with him being older than I was, he was definitely somebody I could look up to and learn a few things from. I wanted to hear all about those White House stories we’d been hearing on the news, and right after we chowed down on the rice and spring rolls Jada hooked up, we sat outside chilling. Scorpio and Chase were in the pool, while Evelyn and Jada sat on the edge, hollering at each other. They all seemed to get along just fine. Compared to last time, this was a miracle. I wasn’t up to swimming just yet and neither was Keith or the president. We sat in several of the lounging chairs, talking about each of our personal lives that seemed chaotic for the prez and Keith. Me, on the other hand, I was good. Bump all that flirting shit from earlier. My eyes peeped what they were su
pposed to, and hella fine or not, none of these ladies, not one, had anything on Desa Rae. She was my baby. I loved her ass to death. She could be a mutha at times, but all-in-all, we’d been doing well. Our daughter, Chassidy, meant the world to me, as did Li’l Roc. I was missing them already, but once a year, Dez and me decided to take vacations without each other. We agreed that space was important in a marriage. She wasn’t really down with the idea of this Hell House shit, and all she said was for me to decide. I made a decision to be here, knowing that I was taking a risk by coming back to St. Louis, The Lou, period. Some tragic things had happened, causing me to jet and never look back. But last week when I got in, I stopped by a few places to let niggas know I was still alive and to say what’s up. Many people thought I was dead; those closest to me knew otherwise. I sometimes got bored living in another country, but as long as Desa Rae was with me, how could I go wrong?

  “Very good,” Keith said, referring to the fried rice Jada had cooked. “I didn’t think it would turn out like that. She did the damn thing for sure.”

  “Honestly,” the prez said with his hands locked behind his head. Keith and I had changed into shorts, but the prez had on slacks and a button-down shirt that was slightly opened. “I was surprised by the rice too. Been a long time since I tasted rice that good, and now that I’m away from Washington D.C., I hope someone can find it in their heart to bring me a whole order of special fried rice from that place on West Florissant Avenue. I forgot the name of it, but they used to have some of the best rice ever.”

  “Man, you talking about Northland Chop Suey,” I said, licking my lips. “They be hooking a nigga up down there. I haven’t eaten there in years, but from what I heard, they’re still in business.”

  “Yes, they are,” Keith confirmed. “Trina and I were there a few weeks ago. They have the best hot braised chicken, and the truth is, you can’t go wrong with anything on the menu, not even the fish.”

  I glanced at the ladies, again, who still seemed to be having a good time. “Speaking of items on the menu, I have to ask y’all how we gon’ be able to stay up and not go down when it comes to these fine women in the house. We struggled real bad last time. This time, I want to know if the two of you foresee some problems.”

  I really couldn’t get a feel for the prez yet, but I already knew who Keith was down with. He had been watching her all day, and while she was in the swimming pool, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.

  They both remained quiet while studying the women who were now laughing. “For me,” Keith said then took a deep breath. “Normally, I would go for a woman like Chase. She’s more of my type and she got that petite and tight body like Trina’s. But I sense something weird about Chase already. She got this . . . this look about her that scares me, so I’m going to keep my distance. Evelyn’s sweet, she’s nice looking too, but she has major issues. Our history would never allow me to go there, and besides, she’s Trina’s friend. Scorpio, however, maaaan, I don’t know what to say, other than she defines sexy. It’s the kind of sexy she can display even when she may not be trying. A sexy where she can have a do-rag on her head, dirty clothes on and still look good. I’m feeling her, for sure, but more than anything I’m here to have a good time, not to necessarily pick up women.”

  The prez seemed reluctant to answer so I spoke up before he did.

  “You are one hundred percent correct about Chase, and trust me when I say you don’t want to go there. I did, and it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I found out she was my wife’s half-sister. The fallout from that shit wasn’t pretty.”

  “What?” Keith said, cocking his head back.

  “You’re kidding me,” added the prez. “Didn’t you know they were related, before you made a decision to go there?”

  “Naw, unfortunately not. But it all worked out. Meanwhile, Chase is a mutha. She burned down one dude’s crib and she tried to come after me too. I wasn’t having it and neither was my wife. Aside from her, Jada is straight up me. She is fun as hell, and we used to get high as fuck around here. That’s no disrespect to you, Mr. Prez; after all, I heard how you used to get down too. But, uh, if it wasn’t for her fucked up attitude, her bossy ways and all the foolishness she brings, yeah, I would’ve gone there, instead of with Chase. Scorpio is the sexiest, but I can tell she got the kind of game that can shut a nigga down. Evelyn doesn’t really move me, but that’s just my take on things.”

  “Evelyn seems . . . sweet,” the prez said. “Very attractive, but demanding.”

  “Demanding is putting it mildly,” Keith said. “I could tell you some stories about her, long enough to write a book. Stories that you wouldn’t believe, but if she stabs her BFF’s in the back, you’d better watch yours.”

  “Well, demanding may not be the appropriate term, but sneaky for sure. I haven’t had enough time to read the others yet, and my number one rule is to never speculate too much about people. But I do know that Jada can cook. I may have to take her back to the White House with me.”

  We laughed and when Jada turned her head to look at us, I rushed up from behind, pushing her in the swimming pool. She made a huge splash, especially when she kept flopping her arms around in the water, as if she couldn’t swim.

  “He . . . hel . . . hellllllp!” she shouted as she went up and down in the water. I thought she was playing; so did everyone else. We all laughed, until she went under water and stayed there. I went into panic mode and jumped in the water to get her. As I carried her limp and heavy body out of the water, Keith helped me lay her down on the concrete pavement.

  “Oh my God,” Evelyn shouted with tears in her eyes. “Is she going to be alright?”

  “Maybe I should call 911,” Scorpio said in a panicky voice. “Does anybody have a cell phone?”

  Chase and I knew Jada liked to bullshit around a lot, but it didn’t appear that she was breathing. The prez removed his shirt, and as he leaned over Jada, pumping her chest a few times, there was no movement. I started to feel as if this was no joke.

  “Move, man,” I said to the prez, trying to shove him away. “Let me see what I can do.”

  He ignored me and started to perform CPR on Jada. With his mouth covering hers, she laid there like a dead woman. My heart pounded against my chest, and when I looked around, I could see tears trapped in all of the lady’s eyes.

  “Who has a cell phone?” Keith asked. “Anybody?”

  Nobody had one, but just as Scorpio sprinted toward the sliding doors, Jada started rubbing the back of the prez’s head, moaning as she gripped it tight to hold his mouth over hers. He quickly backed away, looking at her as he wiped his lips.

  “Daaaaamn,” Jada said, lifting her head. “Yo lips soft and juicy. I feel a whole lot better now. Thank you for saving my life!”

  I could have kicked Jada’s ass. Nobody laughed, and with frustrated looks on our faces, we all went inside, leaving her outside to think about how foolish something like that was. As we all sat on the sofa, many shaking our heads, she came inside, trying to explain her actions.

  “I was only playing, damn. If y’all boring ass people want to have attitudes, so doggone what. Too bad, and when all is said and done, I still can say that I had the pleasure of kissing the president. None of y’all can say that, so bye. Cook for y’all selves and don’t ask me to do nothing else around here.”

  She marched off to the bedroom, acting like the brat she was. Hell, no, I would never fuck with a chick like her, and after seeing her in action again, to me, she had gotten worse.

  CHASE

  That stupid bitch, Jada, was at it again. I didn’t even know why she was here, and what kind of host was she? I don’t know who invited her to come here, but if I had anything to say about it, she would be out of here soon. We just didn’t need the extra drama this time, and even though I didn’t like the majority of people here, I was trying my best to get along with everyone.

  That, in itself, was hard. I wasn’t a forgiving person, so when it came to Jada an
d Roc, I cringed every time I looked at them. I hoped that Jada had really drowned, but I knew she was faking. She wanted to be the center of attention and she liked to get everybody all flustered about her. That was the kind of person she was and had always been. When it came to her cooking, it was just alright to me. Everybody boasted about it, I assumed, just to make her feel good. I wasn’t sure how long I would be able to tolerate her, nor was I sure how long I would be able to play the pretend game with Roc. I couldn’t believe how nice he was trying to be. There was no way in hell he fucked me the way he did, and, now, it wasn’t a big deal because he was married to my sister. I hadn’t forgotten about any of it, and I intended to play this game and play it well. Thus far, I did like Keith, and the president was definitely on my good side. I could actually see myself screwing him, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach the situation. Keith would be easy. He had ‘I got problems’ written all over him. I would probably just fuck him to warm up things a bit, but my ultimate goal would be the president. What a catch that would be, huh?

  As for Scorpio and Evelyn, please. First off, that bitch Scorpio annoyed me. She’d been walking around like she was the queen of England, then again, what an insult that was to the queen who had morals and values. In my opinion, a real woman didn’t have to show all her goodies to get attention. So what her ass was big. So what her face was pretty. So what she had kids with Jaylin, lived in a mansion, and so what she had the men’s attention. When you put yourself out there like she had, why wouldn’t they chase after her? She was already a piece of work. I couldn’t wait to shut her down when I tell her how well her baby’s daddy screwed me on the hood of his car. I’ll never forget how good Jaylin was to me that day, and I would put any amount of money on it that she didn’t know a damn thing about it. I also predicted that my news would disturb her—it was my goal to upset her and get her out of here as quickly as I could. I sensed that she wanted to make a move on the president; then again, I could be wrong. I had to pay more attention to her, as I did to Evelyn who seemed to be a cute, airhead ho with no brains. Kind of like the first lady was. That was why her husband was here, very vulnerable and probably open to whatever. My kind of man for sure.