A Shot in the Dark

by L. J. Stock

  “You haven’t done anything wrong, Kay.” It was Jen who spoke, Megan was more than aware of my fears, we’d spoken endlessly about the possibilities of what could go wrong if I came back to live in Childress.

  “I hid Holly from her family.”

  “And Suzanne asked you to do that. She knew better than anyone what they would have done had they known about Holly,” Megan said, repeating the same line she’d been feeding me since she’d learned about Suzanne’s request. “You know as well as I do that they would have made both your lives difficult.”

  I nodded in agreement, the words helping quiet that gentle nudge of guilt I felt when I thought of anyone missing out on knowing Holly. Appeased, we started unloading the car in silence, heading toward the barn apartment, all three of us loaded down with luggage. Once everything was inside, Jen approached me again, her hands cupping my cheeks just as she had when I was a kid.

  “Everything you do and have done the last fourteen years is for that kid down there,” she said, all traces of humor gone. “She knows that, as well as all of us, do. If you think for a second we’d let anyone muddy your good name because of something your father did to hurt you, you’ve forgotten what it’s like to be a part of this family.”

  “I don’t care about that. They can say what they want about me, I worry more about what that will do to Holly.”

  “She’s surrounded by family here. Emmett and Katie adore her. You think any one of us would stand by if we saw something? You can’t always protect her from life, but you can remind her that she’s not alone.”

  “You mean like y’all did for me?”

  My best friend and godmother beamed at me. I never forgot how lucky I was to have them, and if anyone got me through what could potentially go wrong, it was them. I would probably do better to stay in my little corner of the world where no one knew my history, but beyond all reason, my life was drawing me back to Childress, the one place I’d spent half my life trying to escape.

  “Anyway, that’s why this is a test run, right? To see how things go?”

  “Right.”

  “I’m pretty sure that your man is going to be happy to see you.”

  “He thinks I’m coming in tomorrow,” I said, glancing down at my hands. “I wanted to spend the evening with you guys and Holly after her first riding lesson.”

  “You know what that means?” Jen said with a grin, looping her arm through my left arm.

  “Margaritas,” Megan responded, looping her arm through my right.

  “That’s not…”

  “But it is. We’ll hear all about the riding lessons, put the kids to bed after dinner, and then head out to the bar while Robert very kindly watches the kids.”

  “We’re not having margaritas here?”

  Meg and Jen looked at each other then back at me with matching knowing grins. Meg answered me. “It’s a welcome home present.”

  “You don’t even know that he’ll be there.” I’d taken a moment, but I’d figured out their plan. I loved them for thinking about me. Megan knew my thoughts on Garrett and the conflict that came with them, but she’d also known I’d been excited about seeing him again.

  “It’s Friday, where else would he be?” Jen asked. “What’s got you so spooked?”

  It was a good question. I suddenly had hummingbird wings fluttering against the lining of my stomach, while my heart pounded out a rhythm that sounded a lot like the syllables of his name. I was excited and terrified about seeing him after the last couple of weeks.

  “Just excited and nervous,” I admitted out loud.

  “Must be great sex to get you this worked up.” Meg flicked my nose, ignoring the eye roll of her mom, who looked a little astounded by the turn of conversation.

  “It’s pretty damn great.”

  “I knew it.” Meg grinned.

  “Are you in love with him?” Jen asked.

  The room went silent as the two of them stared at me, and my stomach was suddenly inundated by a hoard of seagulls as I was forced to think about the answer to that question. The only basis of comparison I had was how I felt about Dustin, both when he’d been alive and when I’d lost him. I knew love had the absolute power of destruction. I understood the capabilities to render you incapacitated. Love was wonderful and awful all at the same time, and I knew I wouldn’t have traded that in for the world.

  Did I feel that when I thought about Garrett? No, but not because I was certain I didn’t love him, but because I was sure what I felt was a different kind of love. This was the slow-burning kind that had snuck up on me when I wasn’t looking. This was arms of comfort folded around me in the middle of the night and laughter when it should be impossible to laugh. What I felt for Garrett was love, and maybe that meant I was in love. All I knew was that what I was feeling now was exclusive to Garrett and those emotions felt right. Like he and I should fit together that way and the way we were together fit us.

  Would I be telling him all of that anytime soon? Hell no.

  Things between Garrett and I were very good. Still new, but comfortable and I wasn’t going to fuck all of that up by being over eager and telling how I felt too soon. I preferred to keep my cards close to my chest anyway. With a child, I couldn’t afford to be crushed, and just because I felt as though I was in love with him, I knew that if Holly didn’t get along with him, I had to take that into consideration. Though, the fact Garrett worked with horses seemed to be a huge check in his favor from my daughter.

  “I don’t know, but I‘m sure I like spending time with him.”

  “Then enjoy it, sweetheart.”

  I nodded in agreement and looked around the apartment with a smile. It already felt like home with these two women guiding me to the door to head to the main house, and that included the kids who were bouncing off the walls in anticipation of their riding lessons.

  Five adults and three kids weren’t going to fit into Megan’s minivan. So, Robert and Mike stayed at the house, soaking up some manly alone time before they were in charge of the heathens when we went out in that evening. Somehow, the three of us were roped into riding lessons along with the kids and the experience was more fun than I could possibly have imagined. Of course, Holly took the opportunity to sell the idea of moving back to Childress.

  “We could do this together, Momma,” she said, pushing Emmett into the very back, her eyes bright and cheeks pink. “We could look after the horses and then ride on the weekends together. Maybe we could get some cows and goats, too... and chickens. We could cook our own eggs.”

  “Now you have us pegged as farmers?” I asked, swinging into the back seat next to Emmett, making him giggle as I tickled his sides. He gave me an indignant look as I settled in beside him and I raised my hands in apology. Boys were so much worse about growing up quickly than girls were.

  “You said you’d try anything once. It was how I was born right?”

  Everything stilled in the van, except for my darling daughter who gave a peel of laughter at her own hilarity. It was only a matter of time until my traitorous family joined in. Even Emmett laughed, even though he had no earthly idea what was funny about the statement.

  “Believe me, honey, it was more than once,” Megan said, adding to the chaos.

  “Jesus Christ,” I growled, throwing my arms up when I was glared at for using Jesus’ name in vain by Jen. “She’s fourteen,” I carried on in defense.

  “Almost fifteen,” Holly clarified with a smile.

  “No. No. There’s no almost between fourteen and fifteen,” I insisted. “You’re still my sweet and innocent baby.”

  I received a guffaw and an eye roll for my pain. Then a light bulb went off over Holly’s head, and she turned in her seat to face me as Megan pulled out of her parking spot slowly and mindful because of her laughter.

  “You know, if I had a horse I’d be too preoccupied with it to notice boys,” Holly said sweetly. “I would be so busy mucking out the stables and riding to keep the horse in shape, I would
n’t even have time to date.”

  “Oh, she’s good,” Jen said, hiding her laugh behind her hands. “You know she’s right, though.”

  “You know being ganged up on isn’t helping the moving home argument.”

  “There are still boys in Trinidad, Momma. Not much else than that really.”

  “You’re such a brat.”

  “You should have put me back in the dumpster you found me in.”

  “You find babies in the dumpster?” Emmett crowed next to me, and it was my turn to laugh wickedly.

  “That’s a conversation to have with Daddy tonight, Emmett,” Megan sang happily, hiding the cringe of Oh shit I could see in the rearview mirror. “Now, who can win the ‘be quiet for the longest’ game? If you’re still quiet at the Dairy Queen, we can get ice cream.”

  Leaning forward, I rubbed my nose against Holly’s and winked at her, happy to see her returning smile as bright as it had been at the end of her riding lesson. It occurred to me we could be happy here. We had a family, we had laughter, and we would always have each other.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  I have a really bad feeling about this,” I admitted as we piled out of Jen’s SUV and the overflow of music that spilled from the bar collected around the three of us. The gathering dread in my stomach had been churning since we’d finished dinner and I’d gone to get dressed to go out. I couldn’t help the feeling that Garrett would think this was me checking up on him rather than the pleasant surprise it was meant to be. There was a nagging at the back of my mind telling me to turn around and go back to the barn apartment, but Jen and Megan thought I was just being paranoid.

  Maybe I was.

  “Would you just come on? You’re nervous about seeing him, that’s all,” Meg said, gripping my hand and tugging me up the few steps to the front door, using her hip to push it out of her way. Jen was behind me, and I suspected she was there to catch me if I tried to flee.

  The music grew louder when the door was out of the way, and any chance at a quiet entrance was lost the moment Megan was inside. Her loud hello and order for three margaritas was met with the silence of voices so that only the music filled the space. It was only seconds later that I was swept off my feet and faced with the gorgeous melted pools of chocolate that were Garrett’s eyes, my legs circling his waist.

  “You’re here,” he breathed, his hands tight on my thighs as he backed me into a wall, unashamed of his reaction.

  “Surprise,” I giggled out, my arms circling his neck as my legs tightened around him. Relief flooded me as the dread slowly subsided and was replaced with the warmth of his body and the excitement of his pleasure.

  “When did you get in?”

  “Around three. I managed to get Holly a riding lesson for four.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?” He kissed me, his eyes on mine as he did. The gesture was fleeting and sweet but still left me wanting more as he pulled back enough to leave an inch of space between our lips.

  “I wasn’t sure I was going to get away tonight, and if you knew I was here and unable to come see you, we’d both be miserable thinking about it, so I figured I would suffer alone.”

  “Yet, here you are.”

  “My girls don’t like to see me suffer,” I mused, nodding over his shoulder at Meg and Jen who were watching with grins that almost matched my own.

  Garrett kissed me again, this time with more fervor and passion, and my hands buried themselves into his hair to hold him to me. The whole bar seemed to whoop and holler in encouragement, but that didn’t deter Garrett. His tongue swept into my mouth with need and promise, leaving me breathless when he finally pulled away, my eyes still closed as a stupid smile blossomed on my lips.

  “Damn, it’s good to see you, baby.”

  I let my eyes flutter open and shook my head slowly, my smile now a beam of delight on my lips.

  “You have no idea.”

  Garrett set me on my feet and kissed the top of my head, ignoring the catcalls of his friends as they raised a beer to him in a toast. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and drew me to him in a hug as he told them all where to go with their suggestions of getting a room and charging for the show we were putting on.

  “Let me get a round,” he said when he finally released me from his grip enough to look down at me. “I’ll have a couple with y’all then leave you to catch up.”

  “You’re too good,” I admitted and smiled up at him. Since the moment he’d swept me up in his arms things in my stomach had moved from dread to a swarm of hummingbirds that were anticipating that feeling of need and pleasure that he always filled me with. I couldn’t remember why I’d been so nervous now I was here.

  “Not really. I still want you to come home with me.”

  I thought about my response. I wanted nothing more than to end up in his bed with him tonight, but I had a promise to my daughter I had to keep. As long as I made it home before she woke up, I couldn’t see any harm in going with him.

  “As long as you can have me home before dawn. It’s my turn to cook breakfast, and I promised Holly some chocolate chip pancakes.”

  “I wouldn’t let you miss it for the world.”

  “This is why you’re a keeper,” I said kissing his bottom lip and stepping out of his embrace. “Come and join us when you can.”

  He brushed his lips against mine and headed back toward the bar, raising his arms at the comments from the group of men he’d been standing with. Shaking my head, I broke away and headed to the booth that Jen and Megan had managed to snag, and flopped into the bench across from them with warm cheeks.

  “I think he missed you,” Megan mentioned casually, her forefinger and thumb dunking the straw into her frozen margarita. “I don’t think I’ve seen a display like that since college.”

  “He wants me to go home with him tonight.”

  “Yes. I will keep an eye on Holly, even if she’s fourteen and completely able to look after herself.”

  “You sound just like Holly.”

  “Because she used to say the same thing at that age,” Jen interjected. “If memory serves, when I finally listened, I came home and found you two on your third slasher movie and as nervous as cats in a room full of rocking chairs.”

  “Ah, Freddy, Jason, and Michael,” I said fondly.

  “You should be grateful, Mom. Those three were responsible for my virginity lasting as long as it did.” Megan winked at me and started to laugh only seconds before I did.

  Jen raised her eyebrows and looked between Megan and me in question, and it was me who finally responded through my laughter. “Those three always killed the teens before, during, and after they’d had sex. The virgins were the only ones who survived.”

  “Oh, Christ on a cracker,” Jen said, rolling her eyes in exasperation. “There’s a glaring recommendation for teenage abstinence.”

  “We talked about that for hours,” Megan wheezed out. “And I don’t know why you’re complaining. It worked, didn’t it?”

  “It didn’t last as long as I wanted it to.” Jen snorted. “Every time Robert picked you up, I was convinced you were having sex.”

  “Desensitization,” Megan said, dropping her straw and spreading her hands wide. “And I hate to break it to you, Mom, but we were.”

  Jen sat back in the booth and waved her hands in front of her with a choked laugh. “I really don’t want to know that. I still like to believe you haven’t had sex.”

  “I have two children, Mother, and…” Megan looked at me with a smirk. “I didn’t find them in a dumpster.”

  I started laughing again. “It worked until I had to tell her the truth, and now it’s an inside joke between the two of us.”

  “It’s cute,” Jen agreed. “And don’t gloat, Meg, Katie’s going to be asking you soon enough. Then you’re going to have to deal with that heartbreak.”

  “And awkwardness. So awkward,” I agreed, leaning forward and sucking down a large gulp of my margarita. “Explaining to a
twelve-year-old what goes where and why we do it for fun is not my idea of a good time.”

  “Don’t,” Megan whined, dropping her head in her hands. “I’ve done extensive research, and I know that’s not gonna do shit when it comes time to have the talk. She’s already curious, and I’m pretty sure she’s done some Googling herself.”

  “Megan!” Jen’s eyebrows were so high on her head they looked as though they were ready to blend with her hairline. “If she doesn’t come to you, you have to go to her. Open up the lines of communication so she knows she can talk to you about it.”

  “You mean like I can talk to you about Robert and I having sex?”

  Jen scowled at her daughter, but the humor shone in her eyes.

  “To be fair,” I joined in, “you do have the propensity to describe your sex life in great detail.”

  I looked up just in time to see Garrett spin on his heel with a tray of drinks and head back to the bar, his shoulders shaking with laughter. I covered my mouth with my hand and looked at the other two, who were already in the throes of laughter at my expense.

  “Come back,” I called out, half laughing, half horrified. “We’ll change the subject, I promise.”

  Garrett pushed the tray onto the surface of the bar as he approached, then spun and leaned back against it, his hands up in defense, his laughter coming easily.

  “Did I scare you?” I asked earnestly, sliding from the booth and approaching slowly. Lowering the volume of my voice, I rested my hands on his hips and leaned in. “All that sex talk turn you off?”

  “Just the opposite,” he admitted, his hands sliding up over jaw and into my hairline. “You have no idea how difficult it is not to throw you over my shoulder and steal you away.” He leaned in closer, his mouth inches from my ear. “All I can think about now is burying myself inside of you.”

  All feeling in my legs deserted me at once, and I leaned in closer to him for support at the sensation. Damn him and his ability to render me insatiably horny. If I said I hadn’t been thinking about our first night back together, I’d be a damn liar, but standing in front of him, it was all I could think about now. How the hell did he do that?